Vault: Could the real estate agent know about 9:45am man?

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault - Could the Real Estate Agent Know About 9:45am Man?

Episode Date: July 3, 2026
Main Cast: Burt, Melissa, Colin, Frankie, Whitney, Michelle
Listener/Caller Involvement

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

This lively and humorous episode of The Bert Show dives deep into the neighborhood mystery of the “9:45am man” — a stranger who visits a seemingly unoccupied townhouse at precisely the same time every weekday morning. After two weeks of speculation, stakeouts, and persistent curiosity (from both the show and its audience), the team pursues an answer: Who is this guy, and what is he doing there? The episode spotlights the community’s theories, the hosts’ own sleuthing (including a stakeout!), and a fascinating conversation with the property’s real estate agent, triggering even more questions than answers.

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KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS

1. Recap of the Mystery

• Recurring Event: Whitney, a listener, notices a man arriving behind her townhome at 9:45am daily, walking to another unit, staying five minutes, then leaving.
• Community Speculation: Theories range from drug drops and extramarital affairs to pet care and even routine bathroom visits.
• Initial Confrontation: Frankie from the promotions team attempted a casual confrontation, only to get vague responses (“the house wasn’t for sale”).

Quote:
"He does this at the same exact time every single day, Monday through Friday. And she had no idea why." – Burt (01:14)

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2. Frankie and Colin’s Stakeout

• Frankie Watches the House: Frankie tails the situation, but isn't able to directly confirm what the man does inside.
• Colin Joins In: Colin and his sister do a stakeout at night, adding some light-hearted detective energy to the story.

Quote:
"I just pretended I was out looking at the front of the houses…tried to do my best, but…I looked creepy myself, actually." – Colin (02:40)

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3. Discovery of the Realtor’s Lockbox

• Odd Encounter: After the man claimed ignorance about the home’s status, Frankie spots a realtor’s lockbox on the doorknob – revealing active agent involvement.

Quote:
"He’s going in it every single day from a different entrance, but he’s been going in every day." – Melissa (03:40)

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4. Contacting the Real Estate Agent

• Agent’s Response: Colin calls the listed agent, who quickly assumes he’s referring to “the guy in the silver BMW,” and offers an explanation: the man is feeding feral cats.
• Hosts’ Skepticism: The team doubts the cat feeder story, noting no sight of bowls, food, or actual cats.

Quote:
"She said, you know, I think he goes behind the house and feeds the feral cats." – Colin (04:45)
"If he's actually feeding stray cats, then they tell two friends, and it is a hoard of cats that will show up. And so if there's no evidence of any bowls and there's no evidence of any cats, then…that’s crap." – Frankie/Melissa (05:33–05:54)

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5. Theories on the Agent’s Motives

• Speculations Abound: Listeners and hosts question the agent’s motives—was she covering for the man, or just protecting her listing? Is there a relationship? Or something shadier?
• No Sightings: Even after covert observation, no one can confirm the presence of cats or food—further deepening their suspicions.

Quote:
"What if the real estate agent and the dude…the strange dude are having sex for five minutes every day?" – Melissa (06:52)
"If she goes, ‘I don’t know what he’s doing there,’ she looks like a moron, and she’s obviously got stake in this place. She wants to try and sell it at some point." – Michelle (09:53)

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6. Neighborhood Context

• The Man Lives Nearby: It’s clarified that the man with the silver BMW does reside near the neighborhood, adding to the puzzle but not fully resolving it.

Quote:
"He lives on the other side of the fence." – Colin (06:32)

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7. Proposed Next Steps

• Further Investigation: Suggestions include setting up a camera to finally capture the man’s activities or continuing the playful idea of dressing in a “cat uniform.”
• Ultimate Goal: The Bert Show team vows to get to the bottom of the mystery for Whitney and their curious listeners.

Quote:
"You got to set up a camera and just put it where he walks and nobody has to be there and just film and see what he does. That’s the next step." – Burt (08:37)

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NOTABLE QUOTES & MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• Frankie Grappling with the Cat Theory:
  "No cats at all…that’s crap." (05:53–05:54)
• Melissa’s Suspicion:
  "She’s the real estate agent on it, so she’s getting a percentage. So it's to her benefit that she doesn't tell anybody that there’s a really freaky guy that shows up every single day." – Melissa (09:59)
• Light-hearted Banter:
  "Can I still do the cat uniform?" – Colin (08:50)
  "Is that why you keep rubbing up against my leg?" – Burt (08:56)

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IMPORTANT SEGMENT TIMESTAMPS

• The Case Recap: 01:00–01:56
• Confronting 9:45am Man: 02:12–02:45
• Stakeout Details & Theories: 03:08–04:11
• Calling the Real Estate Agent: 04:11–04:55
• Busting the Cat Feeding Theory: 05:21–06:13
• Neighborhood Clues: 06:16–06:38
• Speculations about the Agent: 06:52–09:30
• Proposed Next Steps: 08:37–09:14

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SUMMARY & TAKEAWAYS

This episode perfectly encapsulates The Bert Show’s signature style: casual, curious, and comically persistent. What started as a quirky neighborhood mystery surrounding a man’s daily five-minute visits has ballooned into a full-blown whodunit, complete with humorous stakeouts, wild theories, and lively banter. The team’s skepticism toward the “feral cat feeder” explanation keeps listeners hooked, even as the true motives—and the man’s identity—remain elusive.

While there’s no conclusive answer, the Bert Show promises to keep digging, inviting listeners along for more laughter and detective work in future episodes. The mystery continues!

Transcript

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[Burt (Host)]

The Burt show all right, Whitney is on with us. Whitney needs to be on the voice disguise or Burt. I kid you not. We get multiple calls every hour. What is going on with the town?

[Melissa]

Yeah, this thing got intriguing pretty quickly.

[Burt (Host)]

And it started like two weeks ago, right?

[Melissa]

Something like that.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah, it started when Whitney called us and said that there's a guy kind of pulling up behind her townhome. She lives in a community with a bunch of houses, obviously. He pulls up near her townhome and then walks down to a different townhouse and spends five minutes there and then leaves. He does this at the same exact time every single day, Monday through Friday. And she had no idea why. So she called us for the segment that we do that's called I'm just curious. She wants to know if we could do some research. And people, I mean, the people had theories. Theories are flying. Oh, he's a drug dealer and that's where he drops off his drugs. Oh, he's visiting his mistress or. Oh, he's just a man and he's very regular. So he uses that bathroom every day.

[Frankie]

Taking care of a cat.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah. And everything. Like feeding the pets, doing this, doing that. So we had a million theories, but we couldn't. I mean, the only thing we really could do is confront the guy, which Frankie from our promotions department did. And we thank you for that. Frankie.

[Frankie]

Thank you.

[Spinquest Disclaimer Voice]

Sure.

[Colin]

No problem.

[Burt (Host)]

And from that, basically all he got out of it was that the guy said the house wasn't for sale. Right.

[Melissa]

So you actually talk to the dude. And he initially says.

[Colin]

He said that he did live in the neighborhood and that the. That he thought there were some houses for sale, but wasn't quite sure which one. So which led to that he wasn't a real estate agent, and so why

[Caller/Listener]

did he offer that information? How did the exchange go down?

[Colin]

I just pretended I was out looking at the front of the houses.

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

So I waited.

[Colin]

I saw him park. I waited till he walked around the house and then just walked around the front of the house looking creepy myself, actually. You know, so I tried to do my best, but. And then he came out, and then I confronted him and talked to him, and, you know, that's the way it went down. And so after that, I went on the. I went with my sister at night for a stakeout.

[Burt (Host)]

And just so you know, you heard him, right? He went on a stakeout.

[Colin]

I did.

[Burt (Host)]

And now the way you're forgetting that one detail that you forgot that was most intriguing about your conversation with that dude is he has the conversation, and the guy says, yeah, I don't think there's any houses for sale. I don't know. There might be. Well, Frankie walks around to the other side of the house, and on the doorknob is a realtor's lock.

[Michelle]

Keybox.

[Colin]

Lock box.

[Burt (Host)]

Right? So the guy's like, I don't know. But the house that he's visiting is secured with a realtor's lockbox, and he's

[Melissa]

going in it every single day from a different entrance, but he's been going in every day.

[Spinquest Disclaimer Voice]

Weird.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay, so Frankie. So now we're up to Frankie's stakeout.

[Colin]

Okay, but here's. Here's the weird part. Like, I don't. I'm not really sure if he actually goes in the house, because the way Whitney's house is, is you can't really see if he goes inside the house. You just see that he walks behind the houses. Okay, so I went and got the real estate agent's name, and I called her, and real nice lady, and she was like, oh, are you talking about the guy in the silver BMW? I was like, yeah, that's him.

[Burt (Host)]

She's like, now, how did that conversation go? Did you tell her that you're with Colin from the bird show?

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

No.

[Colin]

First I called and asked about. About the house, and then she said, we just took it off the market today because of some other townhomes down the street. They're waiting for them to sell out.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay.

[Colin]

So. And then I asked her. Then I said, you know, I'm calling For a friend who lives in the neighborhood and sees this guy every morning. And we're just wondering, you know, what the deal is with that. And she said that, you know. Are you talking about the guy with the silver BMW? I'm like, yeah. And she said, you know, I think he goes behind the house and feeds the feral cats.

[Burt (Host)]

No, he does, and he deals drugs.

[Colin]

Oh, he's a serial feral cat feeder.

[Lady Luck Britsky]

Come on.

[Melissa]

That's it.

[Caller/Listener]

Really?

[Burt (Host)]

He feeds cats?

[Colin]

I really. I don't believe it. She said she was gonna ask him straight out. And when I walked behind the house the first time, when I was.

[Burt (Host)]

Did you explain to her that we've been doing this on the radio for two weeks?

[Colin]

No. No, I did not. She doesn't know anything about it.

[Burt (Host)]

Well, you're gonna need to tell her to come up.

[Melissa]

So have we established if anybody lives in the house?

[Colin]

Nobody lives in the house. The real estate agent owns the house.

[Melissa]

So he's going randomly and filling up a bowl of cat food for random cats in the neighborhood.

[Colin]

Now, I've walked around the back of the house, and I have not seen any bowl or any cat food or anything like that. And when I walk behind the house to see, the first time I saw him walk, I did not see him down anywhere. So I'm not buying it.

[Whitney]

See?

[Frankie]

And look, if you have to keep

[Burt (Host)]

it going until you got a better

[Frankie]

story, if you've ever dealt with stray cats, and if he's actually feeding stray cats, then they tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and it is a hoard of cats that will show up. And so if there's no evidence of any bowls and there's no evidence of any cats, then you didn't see any

[Caller/Listener]

cats when you did your stakeout.

[Colin]

No cats at all.

[Frankie]

Yeah, and you wouldn't.

[Melissa]

Whitney has never seen him carrying cat food under his arm or box of cat food or anything. So that's crap.

[Whitney]

Maybe he's in his pockets at that last that he wears.

[Frankie]

But I just think that you would see cat. I mean, cats will gather where there's food, and you would see cats. You would see cats there. If he was feeding them, why did

[Melissa]

he adopt that neighborhood to feed, like, stray cats? It makes no sense.

[Burt (Host)]

Now, what if I'm not mistaken? Whitney, are you there?

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay, If I'm not mistaken, Whitney did fill us in on a detail that that car does. The owner of that car lives nearby, so it's not like he picked a random neighborhood out of nowhere. He does live nearby the house he

[Colin]

lives on the other side of the fence.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay, so weird. Whitney, do you have anything to add to this?

[Whitney]

I just think it's weird because I don't see random cats around here.

[Burt (Host)]

And I do agree with Melissa because our.

[Caller/Listener]

Why would the real estate lady make up something for this guy?

[Colin]

See, that's. That's. That's where the mystery comes in.

[Melissa]

What if the real estate agent. The real estate agent and the dude, the strange dude are having sex for five minutes every day?

[Caller/Listener]

No, they're in cahoots together somehow. If she was making up an excuse. Excuse.

[Colin]

I agree. I agree. Which is why I want to find out what's in the house.

[Burt (Host)]

So what's your. What's your next step? Investigator.

[Colin]

I think I'm gonna dress up in a cat uniform, come out of the woods, and, you know, just meow.

[Melissa]

I mean, at this point, can Frankie just go up to the guy and go, look here and tell the truth? Here's the deal.

[Burt (Host)]

No, because what if it's shady? What if it's dangerous?

[Frankie]

Yeah, that might put Frankie in danger.

[Colin]

The real estate agent. Oh, I'm not in danger, but the real estate agent did a little.

[Melissa]

Dude, you can take this guy.

[Colin]

No, I mean, he's tall, but he's skinny.

[Melissa]

You got him.

[Colin]

I got.

[Melissa]

You got this leg whip. I got him.

[Colin]

Yeah, Just go for the ankles. Go for the ankles. The real estate agent did say that she was. She was trying to make excuses for. For who the guy was. So that's what. It's.

[Burt (Host)]

So you were thrown off by the conversation. Seemed odd to you?

[Colin]

Gets weirder.

[Caller/Listener]

It's weirder.

[Melissa]

The covering of who this dude is now from the real estate agent is the next piece of it. Weird, man.

[Caller/Listener]

Now the whole city is just curious.

[Colin]

And she did ask who. Who my friend was that was asking about it, and I was like, she'd rather remain anonymous. So, yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

Now I think what the obvious next step is to look for a set of numbers, like the lost numbers. 4, 8, 15, you know, whatever that set of numbers is.

[Michelle]

What?

[Burt (Host)]

Or a hatch or a polar bear.

[Caller/Listener]

That's it.

[Burt (Host)]

Because that's the plane crash. That's the road that we're headed into this.

[Melissa]

And I don't feel like we're any closer to knowing who this guy is than we were.

[Colin]

We're a lot closer if you think about it. I mean, at least we. We know some things.

[Burt (Host)]

Hey, we'll find out the rest. Can we? Yeah. You got to set up a camera. Oh, you've got to set up a camera and just put it where he walks and nobody has to be there and just film and see what he does. That's the next step.

[Colin]

Can I still do the cat uniform?

[Frankie]

If you want. Frankie, if you already have the uniform, that's your thing.

[Burt (Host)]

Is that why you keep rubbing up against my leg?

[Colin]

No.

[Burt (Host)]

Is that why he just did the figure eights underneath Wendy's legs, just back and forth and rubbing up against him? Frankie, we do appreciate your effort, and we do admire your tenacity. And this will not end till you have the answers.

[Colin]

Absolutely, I enjoy it.

[Burt (Host)]

And not only the truth and honest answers, but the answers you like teach your own ending. If he's feeding stray cats, that's not enough of a story for Frankie.

[Colin]

No, I spent too much time for him to be a feral cat feeder.

[Melissa]

Yeah, give us some answers, man.

[Burt (Host)]

All right, Whitney, we will. We'll keep you posted if we find anything else, okay?

[Whitney]

Okay, thank you.

[Burt (Host)]

All right, people are calling up now. They don't believe. Hey, Michelle.

[Whitney]

Hey.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah, you don't believe the real estate lady either?

[Michelle]

Well, I don't believe her, but I don't think she's doing it, like, in cahoots with the guy, because I think she's just trying to cover her own. But if she goes, I don't know

[Colin]

what he's doing there.

[Michelle]

You know, she looks like a moron, and she's obviously got stake in this place. She wants to try and sell it at some point.

[Melissa]

That's exactly right. Yeah. She's the real estate agent on it, so she's getting a percentage. So it's to her benefit that she doesn't tell anybody that there's a really freaky guy that shows up every single day. Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

All right, well, no worries, everybody. Frankie is on it. The bird show is now really curious.

[Caller/Listener]

Weird.

[Burt (Host)]

The bird show?

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[Whitney]

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[Whitney]

Really? I can get super specific with dealer

[Caller/Listener]

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[Whitney]

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