Vault: Did Her Last-Minute Plan Save Everyone's bonus checks?

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: Did Her Last-Minute Plan Save Everyone's Bonus Checks?

Episode Date: May 27, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Colleen, various callers

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Episode Overview

This engaging episode features a suspenseful workplace dilemma: Colleen, a listener, tries to cover for her brother’s financial shortfall that threatens the company’s bonus checks. With stakes high—bonus checks already cut and a desperate plan in motion—the crew, Colleen, and a handful of listeners talk through bank deadlines, personal financial close calls, and the looming risk of exposure or even legal repercussions. The episode blends comedy, empathy, and real-life drama as everyone roots for Colleen to pull off her high-wire act.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Bonus Check Crisis

• Background:

  • Colleen’s brother, contracted for office work, owed money to the company but couldn’t pay.
  • Colleen, aware the money wasn’t available, held back for six weeks, hoping to resolve it before bonus checks were issued.
  • (01:31) Bert summarizes: “She was covering for her brother… The company's president decided to use that money to give bonuses to all the employees.”

• The Plan:

  • Colleen arranged to get the necessary loan, but timing was tight. Bonus checks would be handed out Friday, yet her loan wouldn’t clear until Monday.
  • The cast analyzes float timing—when deposited checks would clear and if Colleen could cover the shortfall before employees cashed theirs.
  • Colleen (01:44): “If she gets it in before 2 o’ clock today, it should all clear at the same time.”

2. Personal Anecdotes: Financial Down-and-Out

• Colleen shares her own history with precarious finances, including eviction.
• Colleen (03:08): “It was on my front lawn. Yes, yes. And all my friends who were passing by thought it was a yard sale.”
• This story lightens the mood while highlighting her experience navigating tricky bank issues.

3. Twist at the Office Party

• The much-anticipated check handout hits a snag when the company boss forgets to bring the checks.

• Colleen (05:49): “He forgot the checks. He left them at home. I feel like the luckiest person in the entire world.”

• Speculation arises. Was it truly forgetfulness, or has the boss caught on?

• Bert’s skepticism:

  • Bert (06:00): “If you’re the boss and you’ve got such an amazing gift… you’re so excited to present it… you don’t forget a check like that for the office.”

• The boss announces bonuses Friday night but promises checks in mailboxes Monday, buying Colleen time for the transfer to clear.

4. Banking Logistics: Will It Work?

• The cast and several listeners analyze whether Colleen’s plan will work.
• Topics: funds availability, the difference between cashing and depositing, and the importance of transaction timing.
• Bank Employee Caller, Stacey (10:21):
  • Warns that even if checks are deposited on Monday, funds may not be available immediately.
  • “If her boss gives the checks this morning, and let's just say someone goes on their lunch break to cash... that check's not going to be good until tomorrow morning.”
• Colleen considers making a cash transfer to expedite funds (11:19).

5. Emotional Toll and Relationship Impact

• Stress and relief are palpable as Colleen navigates the bureaucracy and emotional strain.
• She expresses gratitude to the show for advice and admits the ordeal has strained her relationship with her brother.
• Colleen (08:30): “It’s definitely put a strain on the relationship... I’m not going to be afraid to do what I need to do to get him to pay the money, because it’s not fair.”

6. Listener Reactions & Predictions

• Multiple callers weigh in:
  • Some predict Colleen’s plan will hold.
  • Others warn the boss might be onto her or that she’s not out of the woods.
  • Caller (12:07): “She’s going down, Bert... That weight she feels lifted—she’s gonna be her new roommate in jail.”
  • The crew humorously discusses “Bertha,” the alleged new jail roommate, in a lighter moment (13:47).

7. Unresolved Ending

• The episode ends with Colleen waiting anxiously on the bank’s verdict, promising to update the show in days to come.
• Bert (14:00): “Let’s catch back up with you over the next couple of days and find out if this all went well for you, okay?”
• Colleen (14:13): “Now the girl at the bank's got me nervous, but you're totally fine. I appreciate it, and I'll let you guys know what happens.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Colleen’s Yard Sale Misadventure:

  • “It was on my front lawn. Yes, yes. And all my friends who were passing by thought it was a yard sale.” (03:08)

• The Moment of Relief:

  • “He forgot the checks. He left them at home. I feel like the luckiest person in the entire world.” – Colleen (05:52)

• Bert’s Skepticism:

  • “You don’t forget that. That’s the center of the party.” – Bert (06:00)

• Bank Timing Wisdom:

  • “If her boss gives the checks this morning... that check's not going to be good until tomorrow morning.” – Stacey (10:21)

• Doubt and Humor:

  • “She said she feels like a huge weight was lifted. The huge weight that was lifted—she’s gonna be her new girlfriend in jail.” – Caller (12:19)
  • “I think once this is said and done, she could sit down with her boss and go, hey, I’ve just got to give you a heads up.” – Caller (13:21)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:31: Bert recaps Colleen’s situation for new listeners.
• 03:08 – 04:20: Colleen shares her eviction story, providing levity and context.
• 05:35 – 06:00: The in-the-clear twist: Colleen buys more time as boss forgets checks.
• 06:19 – 07:55: Debate about whether the boss suspects anything.
• 10:21: Stacey, a bank insider, offers crucial clarity on check timing.
• 12:07: A listener dramatically predicts jail time for Colleen.
• 14:00: Bert and Colleen agree to follow up as the story remains unresolved.

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Conclusion

This episode masterfully blends relatable workplace suspense, personal struggle, strategic problem-solving, and friendly banter. Listeners get a window into Colleen’s nerve-wracking ordeal, insightful (and sometimes comedic) advice on banking realities, and a slice of camaraderie that defines The Bert Show. The resolution? Still pending, leaving everyone eagerly waiting for the next update.

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Transcript

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[Bert]

it was gonna be real close, real close with Colleen over the weekend. She initially called us and said that she was covering for her brother. Brother was making some payments to the company, didn't have the cash and she

[Colleen]

held onto this for six weeks. Like her brother. They had contract. It was a small office, what of six people or something? Very intimate office. And they had contracted her brother to do some work and he didn't cover, so he didn't give them the money that was owed to them. And so the company's president or CEO or I'm not sure what the position is, decided to use that money to give bonuses to all the employees. But the sister knew that that money wasn't there and she held onto this for Six weeks. And when we talked to her on Friday, she's going to try to cover the money because they all expected their bonuses on Friday night and they already cut the checks. Yeah. Remember she told us that she had

[Caller 1]

to cut the checks on Thursday and

[Colleen]

give them to her boss Thursday night.

[Caller 1]

And she wasn't supposed to get that loan check until today, but the bonuses were going out on Friday.

[Colleen]

So we were talking about the floating of the checks where even if they went into the bank on Saturday, the check wouldn't clear until tonight.

[Bert]

So at least on Friday night everybody would have been happy because they got their checks. But perhaps if they go to the bank today and they're not cleared, that's when it's all going down.

[Caller 1]

Well, it would take a couple of days for a big check like that to clear, so she had a little time to buy. But then I thought about it this way. If she gets a big check to put in the bank, that check's gonna take a couple days to clear. If they put theirs in on Saturday and she puts hers in today, and it doesn't clear before everyone's on Saturdays, But.

[Colleen]

Well, I'd say from someone who used to be broke, if she gets it in before 2 o' clock today, it should all clear at the same time.

[Bert]

Weren't you so broke that one day you showed up and, like, all the stuff was out?

[Colleen]

It was on my front lawn. Yes, yes. And all my friends who were passing by thought it was a yard sale.

[Bert]

Your landlord took everything out of the house and put it on the front lawn?

[Colleen]

Yes, the marshal came over and kicked my stuff out.

[Caller 2]

Didn't the marshal take your stuff?

[Colleen]

And the marshal took DeKalb County. Marshall took my stuff.

[Bert]

See, that's why we all need DVRs of our life, because I would buy the on demand for that.

[Colleen]

Oh, my God.

[Bert]

And watch you get kicked out of your far away.

[Colleen]

Well, the beauty of it is, is it starts from the phone. I know we're going, but it'll make our caller feel maybe a little better. The phone call from my neighbor here at work and then me leaving early to go home to find all my stuff on the lawn to gather my animals who were running around, put them in my car, and then go out and see the DeKalb County Marshal with all my stuff, stuff in his squad car drive off. And then me do an Internal investigation at DeKalb county to find. Oh, well, we don't even know which marshal was there, so we can't do any. Whatever they covered for the Marshall Yes. Yeah. Well, we're past the, you know, I. I can't do anything about.

[Caller 2]

Statute of limitations.

[Colleen]

Statute of limitations. But, yeah, DeKalb County. So. Yeah. And I have never lived there since, so. But, yeah, that.

[Caller 2]

Just out of curiosity, what did the coworkers say when they called?

[Colleen]

Oh, so when I left work early, by the way, it was a neighbor that called and said, you probably should get because they're putting your stuff out on the lawn. And so then I go and I get my stuff out on the lawn. I'm standing there. And then it was lunchtime, so some coworkers happening, passing by and saw me and thought I was having a yard sale. So that's when they pulled up to say. And I said the only words I had to say were, it's not a yard sale. And they said, oh, okay. Well, we'll see you later.

[Bert]

Gotta go. Yeah.

[Colleen]

Bye. Bye.

[Caller 1]

They didn't know what to do, so

[Colleen]

pass by yard, Sal. So just to let you know, I'm broke. I know a little bit about banks. And so if they. Even if they deposited their check on Saturday, it's not gonna go through till midnight tonight. And she gets her check in before 2:00'. Clock. It won't clear to midnight tonight, so everything's good.

[Bert]

Did you get all that, Colleen?

[Colleen]

I got all that.

[Caller 2]

And if you want anything at Melissa's house, she's having a yard sale.

[Colleen]

I know. Apparently.

Yeah. Not a yard sale.

[Bert]

What did you do on Friday after the show here, what did you go? You must have ran right to the bank.

[Colleen]

Well, I mean, I ran right to the bank, but, you know, the paperwork for signing that. We signed everything, but they weren't giving us the check until today.

[Commercial Announcer]

Right.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Colleen]

So I just. Let's just say it was like the longest day of my life.

So how'd the party go?

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Colleen]

Yes, the party.

You guys are not gonna believe what happened.

[Caller 1]

Okay, okay, what happened?

[Colleen]

He forgot the checks.

[Spanish Commercial Announcer]

What?

[Bert]

He forgot the bonus checks.

[Colleen]

He forgot the checks.

He left them at home.

I know. It's like, I don't know, I feel like the luckiest person in the entire world.

[Bert]

One of our listeners might have nailed this last week because I know if you're the boss and you've got such an amazing gift for everybody in the office, you're so excited to present it to them and see everybody's face, and you don't forget a check like that for the office. I think he may be like. He may know what's going on.

[Caller 2]

But did he tell everybody?

[Colleen]

He told everybody. He told everybody at the party, like, I've got this huge surprise for you. And he told Everybody about the $3,000 checks that everybody was going to be getting. He was even willing to leave the party to go get the checks. And everyone's like, no, no, no, it's okay. You know, it's Friday night. Not going to need it anyway, you know, until. And so he's like, all right, well, it'll be in your mailboxes on Monday morning.

So you bought yourself even more time. Wow.

I bought myself even more time. Like, I could not. I just.

Wow.

[Caller 2]

So when is the money?

[Colleen]

I would have done without you guys. And the advice.

[Caller 2]

You would have gone to jail.

[Caller 3]

Truly didn't know what to do.

[Caller 2]

You owe us.

[Colleen]

Had one phone call.

[Bert]

That's what we do.

[Caller 2]

So what, so you're gonna get the money today, then how long is gonna take the money to go from your account that you got the loan through to the account that the company has that so the checks clear?

[Colleen]

They're at the same bank.

[Caller 2]

So you just take it, you go to the bank, pick up the check and then just deposit it.

[Colleen]

Right. And since, you know, somebody goes in to cash their check today or whatever, like, it's not like because of the significant amount of the check, it's not like they're gonna necessarily. They're gonna be able to check to see if the funds are there because it's all being done at the same bank, their money. I just feel this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I learned an important lesson throughout this whole process.

It's not done yet.

[Bert]

Yeah, I was going to say this isn't over though, right?

[Colleen]

I feel like it is because, I mean, you're right. There's still a few hours left, but I don't know, I just. I feel good about the whole thing. And when that happened on Friday night, I was interesting. The look on my face.

[Caller 2]

Now all you have to do is get 15 grand from your brother. That's it.

[Colleen]

Well, yeah, that's a whole other issue. You're right.

[Bert]

Yeah, that'll. That'll set you guys apart right there. Have you had a talk with him over the last couple of days about all this?

[Colleen]

Well, he. I mean, I had to co sign on the loan at the bank for him. So, you know, we've. We've met at the bank, but other than that. And you know, it's not really. It's definitely put a strain on the relationship. We're very close and so this, you know, he feels awful about it, but you know, he. It's business. And I'm not going to be afraid to do what I need to do to get him to pay the money, because it's not fair.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And you have to, or you're going to jail. And he's going to jail. Hey, Sherry. Good morning. You're part of the Burt Show? Hi.

[Caller 3]

Hey, good morning. How are y'? All?

[Bert]

Good, thank you.

[Caller 3]

I just wanted to say I agree with you, Bert, with what you said about the boss, that it's too important for him, that he wouldn't forget the checks. I think he's setting her up.

[Colleen]

Yeah, I just don't.

[Bert]

I mean, when I. Look, you guys, when. When we're doing our Christmas thing, right, and you guys have your presents and you. And it's the day for us all to exchange, you know how excited you get? Like, when you're gonna see my face when you give me the present. If you're the boss and you got a $3,000 bonus check, and you know, all six or seven employees are gonna be so stoked by you giving them this bonus. You don't forget that. That's, like, the center of the party

[Colleen]

for you with us and the interns. There's seven people in this room, which is more than her office. You know what I mean?

[Caller 2]

Right. But he still told them all about it. Like, I think you're. I think you're overthinking it. I think he still had the magic of telling him and making the announcement and then saying so. But the bad part is, I left my checks in my briefcase, which is at home. I'm willing to. If you guys want them, if anybody needs them tomorrow, I'll go get them. And then, you know, everybody goes, no, no, no. You know, like, that's. I mean, you kind of lose the magic of, okay, everybody open your envelope at the same time. But you still get to see their face when you tell them they're giving three grand when they thought they were getting nothing.

[Bert]

Hey, Stacey. Good morning. You're part of the Burt Show.

[Caller 3]

Good morning. I was just calling to tell Colleen. I don't want to burst her bubble or anything, but if her boss. I work at a bank. If her boss gives the checks this morning, and let's just say someone goes on their lunch break to cash the ch. Because I'm telling you, you would be surprised how much people cash checks for that amount of money. They walk around with money like crazy. Anyway, if they go to cash the check, that check's not going to be good until tomorrow morning. So what's keeping anybody from going on their lunch break to cash that check? And then they're going to be told, I'm sorry, the funds are not available for this check.

[Colleen]

But if she takes that deposit in there before that deadline, then it would clear. Correct?

[Caller 3]

It won't clear because if she gets it there before 2 o', clock, it will post tonight and be available tomorrow morning.

[Colleen]

Right.

[Caller 3]

It's not going in as cash unless it's a cash deposit. It's not going to be available until tomorrow morning.

[Caller 2]

But it's from this. It's a loan from the same bank, so.

[Caller 3]

So then she needs to ask them to please make it a cash transfer deposit.

[Colleen]

What you're saying. I see what you're saying. Instead of them depositing the check at lunch, you're saying if they cash it. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

[Caller 3]

Right. Because a lot of people I'm seeing, they're getting these bonuses and they're coming to the bank and they're cashing them. And my first thought is, I can't believe how much money people walk around with.

[Bert]

I betcha.

[Colleen]

Okay, that's true. I didn't think about them going and wanting the cash immediately. I always thought about just them depositing it.

[Bert]

My wife handles all 100% of the financing in our house, so I feel so left out of this conversation. I have zero idea what y' all are talking about. I've been in a supermarket way more than I've been in the bank, Bert.

[Caller 2]

A check.

[Bert]

And that's not very much either.

[Colleen]

Not very much.

[Caller 2]

All right, well, Bert, a check is a piece of paper. It's about the size of a dollar bill, and you can write an amount.

[Bert]

I wrote one back in college. Yeah, Yeah, I had some in college. Hey, Franc. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 3]

She's going down, Bert.

[Caller 2]

Oh, boy.

[Caller 3]

She's going down. And that weight that she feels lifted her name. She's gonna be her new roommate in jail.

[Bert]

We missed the punchline on that. Your phone went out.

[Caller 3]

She said she feels like a huge weight was lifted. The huge weight that was lifted versa. And she's gonna be her new girlfriend in jail.

[Colleen]

You're editing yourself.

[Bert]

Why do you think she's going down? What's flawed in her. Her plan?

[Caller 3]

I think he knows about her. I mean, you're talking about a company with six people. They know things. And if he doesn't know about her now, he'll find out later. Where does this huge deposit come from? They've got to rectify books at some time.

[Bert]

Well, then she handles the books, too, right?

[Caller 3]

Say that again.

[Caller 2]

The deposit is. The deposit is from her brother. Like that. He.

[Caller 3]

I know. Wasn't he supposed to be paying on it the whole time? Yeah, yeah, but how did that. It hasn't been payments all along. It's like one huge payment, right?

[Caller 2]

So what difference does it make if it's my company as long as the money comes in?

[Caller 3]

You got a company that's intimate with six people, and he's kind of feel betrayed. And I'm gonna go now because my kids will start crying. That's just gonna irritate everybody.

[Bert]

Okay, we don't.

[Caller 2]

I understand what you're saying about it looking weird on the books, but if one of y' all owed me $15,000, I don't care if you pay me, if your cousin paid me, if you sold your car and gave me that money, as long as I got it at the end of the day. So I think if she sat down with. I think once this is said and done, she could sit down with her boss and go, hey, I've just got to give you a heads up.

[Bert]

No, no, no, no, no. I don't think she can do it.

[Caller 2]

In case it looks just so you

[Colleen]

know, and based on that conversation, I want to meet a Skinny Bertha. You know, because Bertha always is. Because she said a huge wait list is going to be. Bertha is your roommate in jail.

[Caller 2]

Is there a Skinny Bertha are you referring to?

[Bert]

Huh?

[Colleen]

Yeah, Exactly.

[Bert]

Hey, Colleen, let's catch back up with you over the next couple of days and find out if this all went well for you, okay?

[Colleen]

Okay. Now, the girl at the bank's got me nervous, but you're totally fine. I appreciate it, and I'll let you guys know what happens.

[Bert]

Okay? Yeah. You're not 100% in the clear yet, but we'll talk to you over the next couple of days.

[Colleen]

All right? Thank you again.

Good luck.

[Bert]

Bye.

[Caller 3]

Bye.

[Colleen]

Thanks.

[Bert]

See you.

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