Vault: Did Melissa freeze her embryos?

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: Did Melissa Freeze Her Embryos?

Original Air Date: June 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid and humorous segment, the Bert Show crew opens up about personal journeys with fertility, focusing on Melissa’s experiences around embryo freezing. The team unpacks the emotional, logistical, and financial realities, peppered with the light-hearted banter that defines the show. Melissa shares intimate details about her and her partner Katie's decision-making process, challenges faced, and the support network that has surrounded their journey.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Melissa’s Embryo Freezing Journey

• Listener’s Question

  • A caller, after confessing a crush on Melissa, asks if she ever got to freeze her embryos.
    • “I wanted to ask if you had ever gotten a chance to freeze your embryos.” (Caller, 01:47)

• Cost and Accessibility

  • Melissa breaks down the prohibitive costs:
    • "Just to get them out is about $15,000 to have them removed from your body. Yeah, really no way. And insurance does not cover it." (Melissa, 02:05)
  • She highlights the irony: Viagra is covered by insurance, but egg/embryo freezing is not.
    • “Viagra's covered, but trying to have children is not.” (Melissa, 02:23)

• Personal and Medical Considerations

  • Melissa, as a transplant recipient nearing 40, explains medical advice.
    • “Doctor's like, we would prefer you not to get pregnant. It's not that I couldn't... but the risk factors are there.” (Melissa, 02:37)

• Decision to Wait and Fundraise

  • The process was stalled due to costs:
    • "It's basically about money. Katie and I not having spare $15,000... we’ve been consistently raising money... hoping to get it done here in the next few months.” (Melissa, 03:33–03:46)

2. Choosing a Sperm Donor

• Search Process

  • The couple first sought a donor through a cryobank, involving their families in the selection.
    • “We initially went to a cryo bank and did the whole search and got our families involved... one day they had it, one day they didn’t. So...it was no longer available...” (Melissa, 03:58)
  • Shifted to using a known donor – a friend who was already married with kids.
    • “It is somebody that we know who is married and already has children. That was a decision...it would be an honor to do so...they are our donor.” (Melissa, 04:32–04:57)

• The Ask

  • Melissa describes how the donor was approached as a couple, always including both spouses:
    • “It had to be in person. It had to be at dinner. But...it was important for us to ask them as a couple and always have her involved.” (Melissa, 05:15)

3. The Donor Experience

• Sampling Story

  • The group shares a laugh recounting the sperm donation experience.
    • “There is nothing funnier to watch than a man who is just given his sample and him walking back out into the lobby.” (Melissa, 05:49)
    • “There’s nothing to have three women in a lobby, his wife, myself, and Katie waiting on him...he's like, I got my three women here... that's a huge ego booster for a man to be asked, you know, do you mind donating?” (Melissa, 06:18–06:37)

• Team Effort & Emotional Significance

  • Melissa emphasizes the importance of making the journey a shared, respectful one, including the donor’s spouse:
    • “It's just important for us to all make this a collective effort...it's such a huge honor for us to have them involved.” (Melissa, 06:46)

4. Where Things Stand

• What's on Hold
  • The sperm is safely stored at a facility, but embryo creation is pending until Melissa and Katie can afford the egg retrieval and fertilization.
    • “It’s not in my freezer or wherever it is at the facility. So waiting on Katie and I to get money in order to be able to, you know, match it with my eggs.” (Melissa, 07:00)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Insurance Irony:

  • “Viagra's covered, but trying to have children is not.” (Melissa, 02:23)

• On Donor Selection:

  • “We wanted it to be somebody that already had children. We did not want this to be their first child biologically.” (Melissa, 04:33)

• Comic Relief – The Lobby Scene:

  • “There is nothing funnier to watch than a man who is just given his sample and him walking back out into the lobby.” (Melissa, 05:49)
  • “He had a little swagger.” (Jeff, 06:12)
  • “He's like, I got my three women here... that's a huge ego booster for a man.” (Melissa, 06:18–06:37)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:34 – Caller asks Melissa about freezing embryos
• 02:05 – Melissa details the cost and insurance gap
• 02:37 – Medical reasons for freezing vs. carrying herself
• 03:33 – Fundraising and timeline for the procedure
• 03:58 – Donor selection process and shift from cryobank to known donor
• 04:32 – Discussion about approaching the donor couple
• 05:49 – Lobby story about the sperm donation experience
• 06:18–06:37 – Reflections on the donor's perspective
• 07:00 – Current status: sperm stored, egg retrieval pending funds

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Tone & Atmosphere

The conversation is frank but lighthearted. The hosts mix serious insights with gentle teasing, making a deeply personal topic approachable and warm:

• Melissa is open, humorous, and genuine
• The co-hosts keep the mood fun, but respectful—"You don’t need the little blue pill…?" (Jeff, 02:19)
• The camaraderie and support within the group are evident throughout

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Summary Takeaways

This episode offers a rare, real-world glimpse into LGBTQ+ family-building, the steep costs of fertility treatments, and the deep importance of community and partnership. With Melissa’s openness, listeners get both practical information and heartfelt emotion—an authentic, funny, and informative start to the morning.

Transcript

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[Sean (Radio Host)]

It's the Vert show. Good morning, Sean, you're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey, I just wanted to quickly, before I ask my question, to confess my lesbian crush on Melissa.

[Melissa]

Well, thank you honey. That makes my day. I don't feel too good today. So you just picked me up, but

[Caller]

I wanted to ask if you had ever gotten a chance to freeze your embryos.

[Melissa]

Ah, well, you know, that's a good question.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

We got them right here in this rockstar freezer.

[Melissa]

Well, actually it's funny you bring that up. We. It costs a lot of money to freeze your eggs and freeze embryos. And so how much something like that cost?

[Caller]

Curious.

[Melissa]

I mean, just to get them out is about $15,000 to have them removed from your body. Yeah, really no way. So. And insurance does not cover it. So it was a couple years ago that Katie and I started.

[Jeff]

You don't need a little blue pill.

[Melissa]

Huh?

[Jeff]

You don't need, like, the little blue pill Viagra, because that is covered, right?

[Melissa]

Yes, Viagra's covered, but trying to have children is not. But thank you for pointing that out. So, anyway, yeah, it was a couple years ago that Katie and I started talking about children and what our options were. And one of the thoughts was that I am older than Katie and I will be 40 in March. And so one of the things was to go ahead and freeze my eggs because I'm a transplant recipient in my first child at 40. The doctor's like, we would prefer you not to get pregnant. It's not that I couldn't. It's not that I couldn't carry a child, but it's just the risk factors are there. And so the doctor's like, we prefer you not to be the one to carry it. So Katie's not ready to carry a child now. We weren't necessarily ready have a child now, but we started talking about freezing my eggs, and then we learned that freezing eggs is not as successful as freezing embryos. So having the sperm and the egg together frozen is a lot more successful. And so we did. We do have the sperm, and it is in a freezer, but my eggs are not. So it is a. I think Jeff

[Sean (Radio Host)]

just gave that to her, actually, this morning.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Thanks, Jeff.

[Another Caller]

It's in an old Diet Coke can covered in Saran Wrap.

[Melissa]

But it's basically about money. It's about Katie and I not having spare $15,000, you know, and it's us consistently raising money since we've talked about it, in order to do it. So we're hoping to get it done here hopefully in the next few months.

[Another Caller]

Where'd you get the swimmers?

[Melissa]

Not from you, Jeff. Not from you.

[Jeff]

That's what he's really upset about. He doesn't really care whose they are. He just.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

I want to know.

[Another Caller]

Like, did you go to know?

[Jeff]

Why not? They're him.

[Melissa]

We initially went to a cryo bank and did the whole search and got our families involved. And my mother and Katie's mom, you know, we had them as part of the selection and the cryobank kind of, you know, one day they had it, one day they didn't. So when I was ready to get that sperm, it was no longer available, and it was just such a weird process that we decided to go with somebody we know.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

Okay. Without, of course, we're not gonna say who the person is. But I'm fascinated by the conversation that you had with this person initially. So did you call them up and say, look, there's something that we'd really like to talk to you? And then you did this over dinner. Did you go over to their house? How was it? How did you phrase it?

[Melissa]

It is somebody that we know who is married and already has children. That was a decision that we wanted it to be somebody that already had children. We did not want this to be their first child biologically. And so it was a person whose response basically was, it would be an honor to do so, really. So we have involved. Him and his wife are a team. So it's not just, he's not our donor. They are our donor.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

So when you call like this dinner to ask them, do you ask them to a family dinner? Do you take them to a restaurant? Is it out in public?

[Melissa]

You ask? We've had this happened a while ago, so I'm trying to figure out exactly how we did it.

[Another Caller]

Are you careful not to serve mayonnaise or rice pudding?

[Melissa]

What is wrong with you?

[Sean (Radio Host)]

Is that a singing telegram?

[Melissa]

That's exactly what we use. It had to be in person. It had to be at dinner. But, yeah, I mean, we asked them. Like I said, I just know that it was important for us to ask them as a couple and always have her involved. So, yeah, we asked if they would. I think they already probably knew that we were thinking about freezing the embryos. So it wasn't a conversation where we said, okay, look, what we're trying to

[Jeff]

do, it's just out of the blue,

[Melissa]

because it's friends that are in our circle anyway, so it's not like it's somebody that we.

[Another Caller]

Who got to be the lucky one to get the sperm out? You or Katie Jo?

[Melissa]

Anyway, who asked the question?

[Sean (Radio Host)]

Did you ask or did Katie Jo ask?

[Melissa]

Oh, I asked.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

You did?

[Melissa]

Yeah. I will say that there is nothing funnier to watch than a man who is just given his sample and him walking back out into the lobby.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

You were there. You were there at the.

[Melissa]

We were all in the lobby, in this lobby.

[Another Caller]

It happened at Q100.

[Melissa]

No way. But it is. There is something funny about that. I mean, there is nothing more.

[Jeff]

He had a little swagger.

[Melissa]

Embarrassing to a man.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

No, it's probably more embarrassing, right?

[Melissa]

No, it was swaggering.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

Oh, he was swaggering about it.

[Melissa]

Yes. Because there's nothing to have three women in a lobby, his wife, myself, and Katie waiting on him to Come back out. And he's like, I got my three women here. And he's like, you know what? And people other than my wife have asked me for my seed. So, I mean, I find that that's a huge ego booster for a man to be asked, you know, do you mind donating?

[Sean (Radio Host)]

I never thought of the aspect that you would actually go there with him and sit in the lobby while he got Biz Nass done.

[Melissa]

Well, I mean, I just figured he'd

[Sean (Radio Host)]

call you up the next day going, okay, I want you to know that I made the drop off.

[Melissa]

And I think it was just important for us to all make this a collective effort. And it's. I mean, cause it's such a huge honor for us to have them involved. So we trying to all do it as a team, not just Jeff.

[Another Caller]

Can you take a picture of how it's labeled in your freezer?

[Melissa]

It's not in my freezer or wherever it is at the facility. So waiting on Katie and I to get money in order to be able to, you know, match it with my eggs. So we're working on it here.

[Sean (Radio Host)]

Bird show.

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