Vault: Did She Admit Her Feelings For This Married Man?

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault – Did She Admit Her Feelings For This Married Man?

Date: June 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around a dramatic listener dilemma: Jill, a bartender, confesses her growing feelings for a married regular and grapples with whether to reveal these feelings. The Bert Show cast discusses the fallout, ethics, and implications of crossing emotional boundaries, engaging both the listener and a series of passionate callers. The tone is candid, lively, and sometimes confrontational, balanced by the show's trademark humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recapping Jill’s Story

• Background: Jill is a bartender who's developed strong feelings for a regular customer over the course of a year. Sometimes he comes in alone, sometimes with coworkers, and occasionally with his wife and kids [(01:24)].
• Original Advice: The cast (Bluff, Melissa, Jessica) had previously advised Jill to keep her feelings private, citing that nothing could come of it and not to burden the married man with her emotions [(01:56)-(02:44)].
• Jill’s Action: Ignoring their advice, Jill asks the married man to come by alone so she can talk to him, specifically not in front of his wife [(02:48)-(03:13)].

2. Speculation on the Man’s Intentions

• The cast debate whether the man will actually show up and what it would mean if he does:
  • Jessica: "If he did, that says a lot about his reciprocal feelings for her." [(03:18)]
  • Bluff: Counters, suggesting he might simply be concerned for her well-being and doesn't suspect romantic intent [(03:26)-(04:41)].
• Discussion ensues on gender differences in picking up on advances and how men/women react to unwanted attention [(03:39)-(04:30)].

3. Jill Calls In: The Conversation with the Married Man

• Jill’s recounting:
  • She called him in, told him she’d developed feelings, and asked him to stop coming to the restaurant while she’s working because her feelings made her uncomfortable [(05:57)-(06:47)].
  • The man was blindsided, expressed shock, but ultimately said he would respect her wishes by not coming in during her shifts [(07:16)-(07:40)].
• Did He Return?
  • Jill confirms he did not come back the rest of the weekend [(09:09)-(09:13)].

4. Cast and Caller Reactions

• Detractors:
  • Many callers and cast members criticize Jill’s approach, suggesting it’s inappropriate and bad for business.
    • Mary (Caller): "Jill is a complete moron ... she wanted to tell him this so that he would come back to her and say, oh yeah, I felt the same way." [(09:25)-(09:59)]
    • Alan (Caller): "He needs to ... go to her boss, and say, look, this girl's a friggin Psycho. Get rid of her, because she is screwed in the head." [(10:47)-(11:07)]
  • Cast: Raised concerns about the impact on the restaurant’s revenue and the responsibility of employees not to drive away regular customers.
    • Lynn (Caller, bar owner): "If this person was working for me, I would fire her ... She doesn't have the right to impact the revenues like that of that business." [(13:20)-(14:04)]
• Sympathy for Jill:
  • Some callers empathize with her need to purge her feelings but question her method and believe it will backfire professionally.
    • Deanna (Caller): "I agree with why she told him, but I don't agree with the whole aspect of work. It can hurt her position. It can hurt the restaurant itself." [(14:11)-(14:27)]
    • Practical alternatives discussed: requesting schedule changes or more discreet handling [(15:27)-(15:48)].

5. Psychology and Motivation

• Discussion on whether “destined” romantic feelings justify actions contrary to professional or ethical boundaries.
  • Melissa: "Once you fall for somebody, then it's destiny. It was meant to be. I can't avoid these feelings ... If it's for a married person, stay away." [(10:07)-(10:22)]
• Jill clarifies she did not try to kiss the man but did not want to be around him for fear of losing control [(12:18)-(12:34)].

6. Debrief and Takeaways

• Bluff: Points out, humorously, "You're breaking up with a guy that you've never dated. You realize that, right?" [(12:55)]
• Jessica: Asks about Jill's exact wording ("developed feelings," not "in love with you") and his reaction ("total shock") [(13:01)-(13:12)].
• Cast generally agrees that Jill’s approach was misguided and concludes the segment with light roasting but encourages her to keep them updated on any fallout with her boss [(16:12)-(16:22)].

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Bluff:

• "I think it’s so far off his radar... Guys are simple. If the guy doesn’t have an interest, it’s not even on his radar." [(03:26)-(04:01)]

Melissa:

• "Once you fall for somebody, then it's destiny. It was meant to be ... Crap. If it’s for a married person, stay away." [(10:07)-(10:22)]

Jill:

• "I said, in the past year, I've developed feelings for you, and they are making me uncomfortable ... I would really appreciate it if there was any way that you could not come into the restaurant anymore." [(05:57)-(06:47)]
• "I didn’t want to be around him anymore. I don’t like the feeling that I could lose control and ruin something." [(12:22)-(12:34)]

Mary (Caller):

• "She wanted to tell him this so that he would come back to her and say, oh, yeah, I felt the same way. She’s an idiot telling me this story this morning... she’s the type that wants to wait until someone slips up and try to move in there." [(09:25)-(09:59)]

Lynn (Caller, bar owner):

• "If this person was working for me, I would fire her." [(13:20)-(14:04)]

Bluff, to Jill:

• "You're breaking up with a guy that you've never dated. You realize that, right?" [(12:55)]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Recap of Jill’s Situation: [01:24]–[02:47]
• Speculation on the Married Man’s Motives: [03:13]–[04:47]
• Jill’s Call & Conversation With the Married Man: [05:31]–[07:40]
• Cast Reaction/Questioning: [07:41]–[09:13]
• First Wave of Caller Opinions: [09:25]–[11:14]
• Business Owner’s Perspective: [13:20]–[14:04]
• Sympathetic Caller and Alternative Solutions: [14:11]–[15:48]
• Wrap-Up and Debrief: [16:12]–[16:31]

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Summary

The episode provides a raw, multi-faceted look at workplace infatuation, professional boundaries, and the potentially destructive intersection of personal feelings and business realities. The Bert Show team oscillates between tough love, humor, and honest debate, echoing the sentiments of a majority of listeners: though catharsis is tempting, discretion may ultimately be wiser. The show closes with the expectation that Jill’s story might not be done yet and an invitation for her to update the cast with further developments.

Transcript

[Bert]

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[Bluff]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. You're on the Vert show. So Jill joined us last week. If you've listened at this time, you already know the story. She tells us on Wednesday or Thursday that she's in love with one of her customers. She's a bartender or something. She's in love with one of her customers who comes in all the time, sometimes with co workers, sometimes alone, and sometimes with his wife and kids. She tells us that she's in love with him. So then we say, well, there's nothing you can do about it. You're gonna either have to deal with it or quit your job.

[Melissa]

Because the idea was that he, it was not reciprocal like he had given no Indication that he was as interested in her as she is in him.

[Jessica]

So she did say one night she came really close to leaning in and kissing him.

[Bluff]

Right.

[Jessica]

So they were having an intimate enough conversation that she felt like that could have happened. She was overwhelmed with her urges.

[Bluff]

So the, you know, the show and the listeners kind of advised her, like, look, this is your problem to deal with. Keep your mouth shut. Or either, you know, don't say a word, or you've got to quit your job or whatever. But you can't bring this on him. Because her big idea wasn't, well, I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna warn him that these feelings exist. And so we get off the phone with her the first time we said, don't do anything. Then she calls us back the next day and goes, look, I just wanna give you guys a heads up. I know what you said. But that wasn't the right advice.

[Melissa]

Of course not.

[Bluff]

On account it not being what I wanted to hear.

[Jessica]

Exactly.

[Bluff]

So he came into the restaurant with his wife, and when he got up to use the restroom, our bartender friend Jill followed him to the bathroom and said, hey, listen, I need you to come in sometime tomorrow when I'm working. Cause I have to talk to you, but I can't do it in front of your wife. So come on in. So we all went around the room and kind of took guesses as to what might happen when he came back in. Melissa, you said you're not even coming.

[Melissa]

I was wondering if any of us thought he would actually show up. Did anybody think that he would show up? I.

[Jessica]

Well, I don't. I didn't think he would show up. But if he did, that says a lot about his reciprocal feelings for her.

[Bluff]

I think he showed up because I

[Jessica]

think shows a big sign.

[Bluff]

I think he showed up because I think it's so far off of his radar. You know, Like, I think that somebody said. And I thought this. When somebody in here said, what if he wants to borrow money? Or if it was like a call

[Jessica]

out if he thought she needed money.

[Bluff]

Right.

[Melissa]

But even then, though, still, it's not his. I mean, why would you feel obligated? I don't know about guys, but I know that as a woman, if there's somebody that's interested in me that I have no interest in whatsoever, there's a little bit of it that creeps me out. You know what I mean?

[Jessica]

But see, I think women are on guard more often about advances in that way than men are.

[Bluff]

Totally. And I think Bert has talked about this. And I've agreed with him, or I've talked about it. He's agreed with me. There's a weird thing, like, there are situations where we have both walked away from encounters with women, where our wives have said, she was totally into you, like, she's totally flirting with you or something like that. And we're like, what? Like, yeah, because guys don't. If the guy doesn't have an interest in the girl, it's not even on his radar, because the guys are simple. You know what I mean? So if a guy.

[Melissa]

So if you really thought that some strange woman that you may have associated with and socialized with in a bar setting wanted money from you, that you would actually go out of your way to go back in to check it out.

[Bluff]

Well, if it's somebody. If I was in his situation and I was a regular at a restaurant,

[Melissa]

and that was the assumption.

[Bluff]

Right. And always had the. For a year and had the same server when my. Or, you know, always like, this server was around a lot, whether I was there with my office coworkers, with my wife, or there alone. And I have developed a rapport with this person, a friendly rapport, but was not attracted to them, then I would think, oh, my gosh, I hope everything's okay.

[Melissa]

You know what I mean?

[Bluff]

Like, I hope.

[Caller]

Well.

[Jessica]

And you and Bert both said that if somebody had approached you guys about it, the first thing you would do would be tell your wives.

[Bluff]

Right.

[Jessica]

And then I would you say, Jessica would be like, oh, you got to go in and figure out what it is.

[Bluff]

Exactly. I think it's.

[Bert]

Well, that's what my prediction that his wife showed up.

[Melissa]

Well, not him. We can speculate, but Jill's on hold. She can tell us the whole thing.

[Bluff]

Hey, Jill.

[Jill]

Hi.

[Bluff]

Welcome to the show. Was John the voice disguiser?

[Bert]

She is now.

[Bluff]

Okay. Hey, Jill. How are you?

[Jill]

I'm all right.

[Bluff]

So how was your weekend?

[Jill]

It was okay.

[Melissa]

So what happened?

[Jessica]

He was supposed to come in on Friday, right? You asked him to come Friday?

[Jill]

Yes.

[Jessica]

Okay.

[Jill]

And he did.

[Jessica]

He did show up alone?

[Jill]

Yes. I came at the end of my shift.

[Bluff]

Okay.

[Jill]

And. Yeah. And I told him what I told you I would tell him. I said, in the past year, I've developed feelings for you, and they are making me uncomfortable. I don't want things to be. To grow and get awkward for me or for him. And I, you know, I would really appreciate it if there was any way that you could not come into the restaurant anymore. And he definitely didn't expect that. That's what I was gonna say he looked completely shocked and sort of didn't know what to say for a while.

[Bluff]

So you asked him, was that part of the plan that I missed, or was that something you threw in at the last minute, like, I don't want you to come into the restaurant until

[Melissa]

the end of my show?

[Jill]

That was the whole point from the start, because I don't want him around, and I can't quit my job. That's the whole point. And so. So he agreed to it. And he said, you know, I didn't expect you to say that, and. But I'm glad that, you know, he didn't say glad, but I can't remember exactly, but he was like, you know,

[Jessica]

where are you guys when this conversation.

[Jill]

I can respect your feelings, and I will try not to come to the restaurant when I know you're working anymore.

[Jessica]

Where are you guys sitting when this conversation goes down?

[Jill]

We're just sitting, you know, at a table. It was, like, kind of past lunchtime, so nobody was really there.

[Melissa]

Okay, so he said he would respect your feelings and try not to be there when you're there?

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Bluff]

I have to. Like, I didn't know. Did I miss something? Was. Was that part of the plan all along to tell him not to come into the restaurant anymore? That was part of the plan. All right, Because I. Cause.

[Melissa]

Because I got emails from listeners who said, that's illegal, right?

[Bluff]

Well, it's illegal. But not only that. Like, if this were me speaking from a male point of view, I would be shocked at the beginning.

[Jessica]

Well, I mean, it happens to you all the time.

[Bluff]

Sure. If I had no idea from experience, you know, but I think if I went home, I would definitely tell Jessica that story and go, oh, my God. Because, first of all, it's a badge of honor. Someone fell in love with me. But I would go home and I would tell Jessica. Right? And then I think. I don't know what her initial reaction would be, but over the course of the weekend, I know I would grow increasingly angrier. Like, wait a minute. You're telling me I can't come in because if he had no feelings for you, that's genuinely a favorite restaurant or bar of his. It's either really convenient or really good food or really something. I would grow increasingly angry that you're preventing me from coming into a place that's convenient and good.

[Jessica]

And, Jill, he said nothing about any feelings for you?

[Jill]

No.

[Jessica]

Did he say. I mean, did he address that at all other than, okay, I respect the way you feel? What else did he have to say?

[Jill]

I mean, it was a very short conversation. He just pretty much left after that.

[Bluff]

Hey, Jill, don't hang up. I'm gonna put you on hold. But we have somebody who wants to. Hold on.

[Jessica]

I want to ask her one more question.

[Bluff]

Okay, hold on.

[Jessica]

Go ahead. Did he come back in at all the rest of the weekend?

[Caller]

No.

[Bluff]

Okay, I'm gonna put you on hold because we have somebody who wants to make a comment on the voice disguiser. So you can hear that comment, but it screws up if you're on at the same time. So hold on. Okay. Hey, Mary.

[Jill]

Yes.

[Bluff]

Welcome to the show.

[Jill]

Thanks. Jill is a complete moron. If she really felt this way, she could have kept this all to herself. And I think deep down inside she wanted to tell him this so that he would come back to her and say, oh, yeah, I felt the same way. She's an idiot telling me this story this morning. And I was like, you know what? I've got to call in. Because this girl is the type of person, I'm telling you, women, they're all out there. She's the type of person that wants to wait until someone slips up and try to move in there.

[Caller]

She's a moron.

[Bluff]

So she's waiting for the guy to have a couple too many drinks on the night he argued with his wife, and then she can. Bam.

[Melissa]

I think it's just this mission misconception by certain people, and it's men and women who. Once you fall for somebody, then it's destiny. It was meant to be. I can't avoid these feelings. I can't deny these feelings. I mean, they are here for a reason. Crap. If it's for a married person, stay away.

[Bluff]

How long have you been squashing your feelings for me, Melissa? Since, oh, two.

[Melissa]

We've been together since 2001. Yeah, it's a long time. How are you dealing with that? It's hard.

[Jessica]

I don't think that this guy's gonna ever come back in the restaurant again. I don't think so either. I bet he's gonna leave for good. And then I bet Jill's manager is gonna be like, wait a second. What happened to so? And though? The regular who was spending a lot of money in here every single week.

[Bluff]

Hey, Alan, welcome to the show.

[Caller]

He needs to do is tell his wife so that there's nothing can come back on him. And the next thing he needs to do is take his butt in that restaurant, go to her boss, and say, look, this girl's a friggin Psycho. Get rid of her, because she is screwed in the head.

[Bluff]

See, I don't. Yeah, I don't think that that's not going to happen like that for me.

[Melissa]

He's already told his wife.

[Bluff]

Yeah, but for me, like, that would happen today or tomorrow. Like, where I'd be like, I gotta call her boss. Like, you're not gonna tell me that. I'm not gonna go into the restaurant that's either right next to my office or close to my house or whatever he likes about it.

[Jessica]

I don't know. It depends on he and his wife's situation, how secure he might just be. Like, you know what? I just want to avoid this altogether.

[Melissa]

Well, even if they. I mean, to me, I think the most secure is like, you know what? There's other restaurants, there's other bars, right? Yeah. I mean, this is not worth a fight.

[Bluff]

Hey, Heather.

[Caller]

Hello.

[Bluff]

Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Bluff]

What's going on?

[Caller]

I think Jill is lying. I think her whole story is false.

[Bluff]

Okay?

[Caller]

I think what happened was she has feelings for this guy and she tried to kiss him, and. And he obviously wasn't interested. And so now, because her pride is hurt now, that's why she doesn't want him in there. She's trying to punish him for not being into her.

[Bluff]

So she's not making up the story, she's making up her motivation for.

[Jill]

Exactly.

[Jessica]

Good theory.

[Bluff]

Hey, Jill, is any of that true?

[Jill]

No.

[Bluff]

Are you upset that I definitely didn't

[Jill]

try to kiss him? I just felt like kissing him and that's why I didn't want him around anymore. I didn't want to be around him anymore. I don't like the feeling that I could lose control and ruin something.

[Bluff]

Are you upset that he didn't respond, saying that he was in love with you? No.

[Jill]

I mean, I didn't expect him to. I don't even know what I would do if he did say that. It's not. I just want the awkwardness out of my life. I want the feelings not there anymore.

[Bluff]

And I can't realize you're breaking up

[Jill]

with unless he's not around me.

[Bluff]

You're breaking up with a guy that you've never dated. You realize that, right?

[Jessica]

Did you actually. Did you actually say the words, I'm in love with you?

[Jill]

No, I said I developed feelings.

[Jessica]

Okay. And what was the look on his face when you said that?

[Jill]

The total shock.

[Bluff]

Hey, Lynn. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi. How are you?

[Bluff]

What's up?

[Caller]

Hey, I own bars and clubs, right? And if this person was working for me, I would fire her. They need to find her boss and let him know what she has done. Because you don't take regular customers that spend good money with you every week and run them off. She doesn't have the right to impact. She does not have the right to impact the revenues like that of that business. And I just fired somebody not long ago who did the same thing. Some guy had a girlfriend. She broke up with him but was coming to the club with her girlfriends all, all the time. He tells her she can't come in anymore, or her girls, they're there every week. He had to go. She needs to go. She's impacting the bottom line. She doesn't have the right.

[Melissa]

You talk about it being a family, but it's a business first, you know,

[Bluff]

so that is a really. That's a solid point right there. Hey, Deanna.

[Jill]

Yes.

[Bluff]

You agree with what Jill did.

[Caller]

I agree with why she told him, but I don't agree with the whole aspect of work. It can hurt her position. It can hurt the restaurant itself.

[Jessica]

So why do you know, why do

[Melissa]

you agree with her purging what she's thinking on to somebody else who is an innocent bystander basically?

[Caller]

Well, I'm guessing that she's probably in her 20s, early 20s. I think that, you know, I'm also in my early 20s and I'm also a waitress, so I understand having to voice your opinion. And it's more of a laid back position. Oh, hold on, I gotta turn on my radio. But like to get that out, to get it off of her. I understand that. But in the long run, it's gonna hurt her more than it's gonna help her because she just lost a good client. And I mean, that's practically what waitressing is. It's selling, you know, your food and yourself.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And, you know, your service. And it's going to hurt her in the long run and it can possibly hurt the restaurant because he can go around saying that, you know, there's the crazy girl that works there and she told me that she's in love with her, which might not have been her like whole point. It might have just been get it off her chest. And so she doesn't have to live with that.

[Jessica]

So you agree with her getting it off her chest, but just not in the way that she said, don't come here anymore.

[Caller]

Yeah, I agree with her getting that off, saying, hey, I developed feelings with you. For you. All that. But I don't agree with her saying, don't ever come in here again. She could have said. She could have told her boss, I need to cut my hours up. I need to work dinners, not lunches or something like that, you know?

[Bluff]

See, I. I thought. I thought that's what she was going to do. Like, I thought she was just gonna say, I don't want anything ever to happen between us. I have to let you know how I'm feeling.

[Jessica]

Regardless.

[Bluff]

It's gonna be an awkward situation.

[Melissa]

Even if he came into the bar the next day with her telling him, yeah, I just handle it. Don't. It's not. That's on your head. It's like we said before. I don't care how old you are. Early 20s, late 30s. I don't care who you are. Just, you know, keep it to yourself.

[Bluff]

Hey, Jill, we will stay in touch with you because if he comes back into the restaurant or you get in trouble from your boss or anything like that, we definitely want to hear about it.

[Jill]

Okay?

[Bluff]

Thank you anyways for sharing your story with us. Sorry, really, zero people were on your side, but we appreciate you coming on.

[Jill]

All right, well, thanks, you guys.

[Bluff]

All right, talk to you later.

[Jill]

Bye.

[Bluff]

Bye.

[Jessica]

That's like thanking a cop for a ticket. Yeah,

[Melissa]

you didn't follow, so I don't know what you think everybody beat her

[Jessica]

up and called her a moron.

[Bluff]

This is the Bird show. What's going on, everyone? It's bluff here. And you know what's more American than America's 250th birthday? Supporting American owned companies like Spinquest, America's number one social casino with all over 1000 games like live dealer, blackjack and craps. They're offering new users a $30 coin package for just $10. Go to spinquest.com and sign up today. Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.