C (1:30)

Merry Christmas.

B (1:31)

Thank you very much. Merry Christmas to you too.

A (1:33)

And you're actually in Ohio now?

B (1:35)

Yeah, I'm at my parents house in Ohio.

A (1:36)

Okay. Okay. So the last time we talked, you were about to quit your job.

B (1:39)

Uh huh.

A (1:40)

Did you do that?

E (1:41)

Yep.

A (1:41)

You did?

E (1:42)

I did.

A (1:43)

How to guff?

B (1:44)

It went okay. My boss was really cool. She was really sweet actually. She just said that I did a really great job and she really appreciated how I really kicked it up to 110% right before I left. Because a lot of people just sort of slack off when they quit a job. But I really kicked it into high gear, so she was really psyched. I'm basically done. I've got I think one more gig that I might do for her after the holidays, but that's it.

E (2:12)

Really.

C (2:13)

I don't know if this has been asked Before. But when you do the complete separation of your two lives, like old Amanda and new Amanda, like when you do that, can you use your old job as a reference or do you have to pretend that didn't even exist? Because aren't you everybody that you move, like everybody you meet in your new life, you're gonna say, oh, yeah, I just moved here. That makes sense.

B (2:33)

Oh, yeah, I understand that. It's actually, that's not even an issue. She, you know, she gave me a letter of recommendation, which I thought was really cool, but I actually don't need it.

A (2:42)

Why don't you need it?

B (2:43)

Because I got the major hookup.

A (2:47)

What major hookup?

B (2:48)

I did. I got the major hookup. I have a new gig that's going to start on January 4th.

D (2:55)

Okay.

A (2:56)

Can you tell us what it is?

E (2:58)

Sure.

B (3:00)

Well, I guess you guys, you amazing, wonderful, awesome people at your radio station forwarded me an email that a listener sent you guys. Actually, it was Tracy. They sent an email to Tracy and she forwarded to me. And it's a temp job with this PR firm in Atlanta.

A (3:19)

Are you kidding?

B (3:20)

I'm totally serious. It's a four month temporary job with this PR firm, and I'm working on this really special project they said I would be totally perfect for. And it's this huge thing that's going to be coming to Atlanta. But I can't say what it is because it's this. This totally top secret, crazy project. No, I can't say anything. I really can't. But it pays even more money than my last job. Here's the thing that blows my mind. After these four months, if everything goes well and I get along with everybody and everybody thinks I'm cool, they're going to offer me full time and even more money.

A (3:57)

All right, so let me get this straight. Somebody from a PR agency was listening to you over the last couple of weeks and has listened to the way that you've handled all of these breakups and changes in your life and said this would be the perfect woman for our organization?

B (4:11)

Yeah.

C (4:12)

Can you tell us what PR firm?

B (4:14)

No, I think that would be smart. No, I can't say anything about any of that stuff. I'm only allowed to tell you that I have this available to me and that's how it's going.

A (4:26)

Didn't you tell us when you were going to quit your job? Also that you were going to tell them that you were just moving back to Ohio? You weren't even going to come clean with them?

B (4:33)

Yeah.

A (4:34)

Okay, so I'm just trying to get in the mindset of the new employer so they know that you've got, like, all of these issues of kind of lying when you cut things off, and they're like, that's okay. That's cool. She just sounds like she'd be perfect for our PR firm, basically. Okay.

D (4:51)

All right. Congratulations.

A (4:53)

Good break for you.

B (4:54)

Yeah, well, it's pretty amazing. I mean, you know, the people that I've spoken to so far have just been wonderful and really cool, and I'm so excited. I'm so excited. And I just feel like I just really am doing the right thing for my life.

D (5:09)

So what's next?

B (5:12)

I don't know. There's a million and one things that could happen, I guess. I mean, I'm going to do my hair while I'm. I think I might do it while I'm out here. I'm trying to decide if I should do it while I'm out in Ohio or if I should do it the day that I move because I don't want anybody to see me before I'm going to be in this apartment on the 28th because my townhouse isn't going.

E (5:36)

To be ready yet.

B (5:37)

So I'm thinking maybe when I move into the apartment that day, maybe I'll wear a hat or something, and then that day get my hair done, and then I'll look completely different and it'll.

C (5:47)

Be the new you starting on. The new you is born on December 28th, the new Amanda.

B (5:51)

With a new name and everything. I'm going to be using my middle name. That's how everybody knows me now. My new job.

A (5:57)

You're changing your name also?

E (5:59)

Yeah, well, I'm just.

B (5:59)

I'm just using my middle one.

A (6:02)

Can we ask you what that is?

B (6:03)

No way. I'm not telling anybody.

C (6:07)

Amanda's not even a real first name, so.

A (6:08)

Oh, it's not Okay. I mean, you know what? On one hand, good for you. You set these goals up based on what you thought was right for you, and you handled it the way that you thought was right, and you have cleared the way for this brand new life for you. And you set a goal, and you've. You're doing it. You're doing it. You know, the way you've done it could be questioned, but the end result so far is exactly what you wanted.

D (6:34)

So is everything done? The friends clipped, the boyfriend clipped. You got the new car, you got the new job, you get in the new place? Was there anything else left on the list?

E (6:43)

Oh, wow.

B (6:44)

I don't know, I might get a dog.

A (6:47)

Well, I mean, all the new friends. I mean, this whole new life really does start in January. So it's gonna be interesting to see if you're honest with us starting next year, if this whole brand new life, you know, you got the new gig, which you're all excited about. You're living in this, you know, new apartment or townhouse inside the perimeter that you thought was going to be really cool, and you want to hang out with all these new cool people, and you got the new cool car. It's going to be interesting, if you're honest, to see if it's everything that you thought it was going to be.

C (7:16)

We don't know who you are, so will you honestly tell us if it blows? Like, I mean, if you're like, you know, if.

B (7:22)

If it doesn't work. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I'll just keep on going because I made a decision and I'm sticking to it, and I'm gonna make my life work no matter what anybody says.

C (7:32)

But wait, like, we had this guy Ben on, and we got, you know, we kind of came down hard on Ben because he was kind of a, you know, dorky fella and whatever, and. And then he just disappeared on us. So we don't want you, like, if it.

A (7:47)

Like, we're just asking you to see it out. Like, if things are great, we want to talk to you, but if things kind of suck, we're just asking you to be honest with us and go. Because there are others that can learn a lesson probably here. Like, it sounds like you're going through almost like one of these quarter life crisises. And if there are others that are listening to your story that want to make all these different changes and stuff, we would like to be able to use you as the example to either raise up or to say, look, this is the reality of it.

B (8:12)

Well, sure. I mean, if. If things, you know, if things don't go exactly the way I want them to, you know, I mean, maybe, you know, you guys help me figure out my finance situation, you know, I mean, maybe you'll be able to help me figure out a new path.

A (8:26)

All right, we'll do what we can. Now hold on one second. Here's Katie with some advice. Hey, Katie.

B (8:30)

Hi.

E (8:31)

I was one of your first callers to talk to Jessica and encourage her with this change. And one thing that I've been listening over the last couple of weeks, one thing that I really want to stress to you, dear, is that no matter what kind of changes that you make in your life, you are core, at the core, the same person and you make the same decisions. Just remember, wherever you are, whatever you do, that's where you're at. And your happiness really depends on you. You have to be true and honest with yourself and everyone around you. That would be the only thing that I would disagree with things that you've done. Sometimes you have to lie to give yourself courage. But, but the true, you know, true happiness comes from knowing yourself and knowing who you are. You know, I made those. I went through a very similar thing where I turned my life upside down. And it's a very hard, you know, hard thing, but you build courage from it. But the one thing that I was always, always with people in my life is I was honest. So if you're unhappy, let people know you're unhappy and change the things that you can. But, but certainly keep your eye on your goals, career wise, education wise, and, you know, your life in general.

A (9:44)

Katie, let me ask you this, because this is all really good Dr. Phil stuff, but the thing that I focused on there was you saying that sometimes you have to lie to keep your courage.

B (9:52)

People lie all the time. I mean, look at how many natural bonds do you know What I'm saying.

E (9:57)

Is that sometimes you have to lie to yourself. You have to tell yourself a story long enough to make you believe it. Something my mother used to tell me all the time. The facts of your life do not matter. It's the stories that you tell yourself that what matters. So if you go through a bad situation and you find good, you know, find some kind of good out of it, whether it be learning a lesson or, gee, I'm not going to do that ever again because it, because of this pain or because of this turmoil you just keep repeating to yourself. But, you know, and that's what I mean by, you know, sometimes you have to allow yourself to get courage because you have to tell yourself a positive story over and over again to keep, Keep yourself motivated to not, you know, lay down and die and just accept, okay, this is my life and I'm going to blah.

A (10:45)

Melissa, you've been awfully quiet.

D (10:47)

Well, I just think it doesn't matter when you're in your early 20s. Doesn't matter. I mean, you can get all the advice in the world you want. I mean, I do, I do agree with her. Like I was one that would move here, move there, move all around town, and a change of scenery would help motivate me to do, make These changes and stuff. And then you learn when you get older that it? Yeah. Like she said, it doesn't matter where you are. You still have to live with you and whatever demons are in you, so. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. Amanda's not gonna listen to anything. She's psyched about this new job. She's psyched about her new car, and she's gonna get her hair cut. A symbolic, you know, change on the day she moves into her new place. So, Yeah, I mean, she's going through the motions.

A (11:19)

Hey, Julia, we have about 60 seconds.

B (11:22)

I just wanted to say that, like, I agree with her in a way, because I went through a lot of the same thing, and I had a lie to and things like that. But in the end, for me, it really wasn't worth it because I lost a lot of friends and I even lost some of my family for it. And I had to find who I really was to gain all of them back.

A (11:41)

I don't know what you take from that, Amanda, but I do want to follow you, continue to follow you in January and see if this new life is really everything that it's all cracked up to be for you. Okay?

E (11:51)

Okay. Sounds great.

A (11:52)

All right. Have a great holiday.

E (11:53)

Thanks.

A (11:54)

You too. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye.

E (11:56)

Bye.

A (11:57)

All right, you guys had to guess over the next six months. First of all, I think she's gonna bail on us. Before that.

D (12:04)

Yeah, agree. I don't think she's gonna stick with us.

A (12:06)

I don't think she's gonna stick with.

D (12:07)

Us unless she needs something from us. Like, I don't think she. Because Amanda's in a very. And I don't mean this in an insulting way, but a very selfish place. So, like, you even heard her say, well, maybe y' all eventually can help me with my financial situation. Like, she's not thinking about helping somebody else. She just wants to help herself. So I think she's gonna bail on us while a. For sure.

A (12:23)

What do you think?

C (12:24)

I think she's going to be fine. Like, I don't know what you guys are reading into it to see that. This is so awful, and she's not in a good place and she shouldn't be lying and blah, blah, blah. Like, I see a girl who. Who left Ohio to come to Atlanta because Atlanta's hip and cool and cosmopolitan and she didn't know about the city, but she just came down here, and she ended up in a place that wasn't what she expected. But after spending a year here, she saw where the hip and cool part of town was she saw what the hip and cool people do, where they go, the bars they hang out at. So she's adjusting her life to what her expectation was when she came down here.

A (12:59)

I don't think anybody disagrees with that. It's the way that she's handled it. The lies, the moving back to Ohio, and that she hasn't handled it with honesty and integrity, that we're all like, what?

C (13:09)

But she hasn't really hurt anyone.

A (13:12)

Well, she hasn't hurt anybody yet, but eventually the boyfriend is going to find out. All the friends that are outside the perimeter are going to find out. She's just postponing the hurt. It's gonna happen. This is too small a city.

C (13:23)

Yeah.

A (13:24)

I don't.

D (13:24)

And if I met somebody that I found out that they crushed. Yeah. I would look differently at them. Absolutely.

C (13:32)

You'd be crushed if somebody you knew that you were like, if I don't know who your friends are, you'd be crushed if someone that you considered a friend said, yeah, I'm leaving town. I mean, you'd lose sleep over it.

D (13:42)

No. If I met somebody and I learned their story was they were actually here two or three more years than they said and they changed everything about. And I would look at them different, like, well, that's kind of weird.

A (13:51)

Of course I'd be bummed by that.

D (13:52)

That's kind of weird.

A (13:53)

Yeah.

C (13:53)

For sure.

A (13:54)

I will continue to follow her after January when we're all back from vacation. You're on the Bird show.