Vault: Did This Wedding Crasher Succeed?

Summary

The Bert Show – “Vault: Did This Wedding Crasher Succeed?”

Release Date: January 15, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Episode Theme:
This episode dives into a real-life “wedding crasher” mission. The Bert Show crew reconnects with a listener named Charlie who set out to “crash” a wedding in Tennessee over the weekend. The hosts check in after his adventure to find out if Charlie’s bold attempt to hook up with someone at an out-of-town wedding—where he was not exactly a close invite—actually succeeded, what tactics he used, and get the inside scoop on guest drama and hijinks. With their trademark banter, the team dissects Charlie’s story, pokes fun at his bravado, and adds layers of playful skepticism.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Setup: Charlie’s Wedding Crashing Plan

[01:18–02:46]

• The hosts revisit a call with Charlie, who’s excited to “crash” a wedding and, in his words, “do well” with the guests.
• Charlie believes, “The worse the groom, the better chance I have.” ([01:26], Charlie)
• He plans to present himself as a nice, maybe “a little shy” guy, leveraging being slightly older and more successful than most of the young guests.
• The show teases skepticism about Charlie’s confidence but sets up a Monday morning check-in to see how his plan unfolds.

2. Monday Recap: Did Charlie Get Lucky?

[02:49–07:42]

• Back on the voice disguiser, Charlie describes arriving at the wedding and ultimately getting together with the bride’s sister, who was the maid of honor.
  • “But I did get laid.” ([03:42], Charlie)
  • He jokes that if he’d said he didn’t, the hosts would believe him, but as he claims success, they remain skeptical.
• Tactics Explained:
  • Charlie notes he couldn’t concoct too many stories about himself as his own sister was at the wedding.
  • The actual “in” was to bond with the maid of honor over humorous gripes about the other maid of honor, rather than poking fun at the bride or groom.
  • “The tactic that we used like that was making fun of the other maid of honor, but not the bride, of course.” ([06:07], Charlie)
• Wedding Night Details:
  • Charlie admits to a night of drinking and flirting that ended “by 4:30 in the morning” in the maid of honor’s family suite.
  • “It was already like 4:30 in the morning, so it had to be quick, you know.” ([07:21], Charlie)
  • The hosts jokingly grill him on whether alcohol was involved and poke fun at his “gentlemanly” conduct.
  • “I don’t take advantage of anyone who’s passed out. But if they’re drunk, it’s all right.” ([06:31], Charlie)
  • Show’s Tone: The Bert Show crew responds with characteristic sarcasm and humor, feigning admiration while calling out Charlie’s dubious standards.
  • “A guy with a heart, no wonder why they fall for you.” ([06:48], Burt Show Host 2)
• Charlie's Retrospective:
  • He claims, tongue-in-cheek, that he “just did it for you guys”—referring to the show and its listeners.
  • “Change my ways. But I thought I had to prove something.” ([07:34], Charlie)
• The hosts close the segment by playfully questioning Charlie’s truthfulness but thank him for the entertaining update.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Charlie on wedding “strategy”:
  • “The worse the groom, the better chance I have…” ([01:26], Charlie)
• On being a good catch:
  • “I’m sort of a good catch, you know…but maybe I’ll just be like a little self-effacing.” ([02:15], Charlie)
• On his confidence:
  • “It’s a sure thing, man.” ([02:46], Charlie)
• On his ‘success’:
  • “But I did get laid.” ([03:42], Charlie)
• Regarding being a ‘gentleman’:
  • “I don’t take advantage of anyone who’s passed out. But if they’re drunk, it’s all right.” ([06:31], Charlie)
  • “When she’s unconscious and you don’t do her—oh, man.” ([06:44], Burt Show Host 3, sarcastic tone)
• Hosts questioning veracity:
  • “…we’re not sure if you’re telling the truth or not, but we just gotta go with what we hear.” ([07:36], Burt Show Host 2)

---

Key Timestamps

• [01:18–02:46]: Charlie’s wedding crashing plan and expectations
• [03:09–04:20]: Charlie’s persona at the wedding and the mechanics of his flirtation
• [05:24–06:13]: The mechanics of “picking up” the maid of honor and establishing rapport
• [06:17–07:26]: Drinking at the wedding, ending up together, and post-party antics
• [07:31–07:42]: Charlie’s humorous justification for his actions and the hosts’ wrap-up

---

Overall Tone & Takeaways

• The episode features Bert Show’s hallmark mix of real talk, ribbing among hosts, bold listener stories, and a touch of voyeuristic drama.
• The conversation is irreverent and cheeky, at times pushing boundaries of taste but always self-aware.
• The hosts keep the mood light even as they scrutinize Charlie’s claims, poking fun at both him and wedding culture.
• The story highlights the comic absurdity and social dynamics of weddings, the phenomenon of “wedding crashing,” and the role of alcohol, group dynamics, and lighthearted scheming in such events.

---

For Listeners:
If you enjoy stories of social daring and wedding shenanigans, or are just into fun, unfiltered morning radio dynamics, this episode is a lively and irreverent look at what goes down behind the scenes at someone else’s special day. Expect laughs, skepticism, and plenty of side-eye for Charlie’s “gentlemanly” exploits.

Transcript

[Verizon Announcer]

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[Raj]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah, and we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[Noah]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[Raj]

But who isn't? That's why each week, we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[Noah]

We'Ll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right, so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[Raj]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Noah]

And for the first time ever, we're gonna have full video episodes on YouTube, because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're gonna be right here to help you do em better.

[Raj]

Love y'.

[Burt Show Host 1]

All.

[Burt Show Host 2]

The Burt Show. All right, this is a little bit of the phone call that we had with Charlie on Friday. And this is him on the Voice Disguiser.

[Charlie]

The worse the groom, the better chance I have.

[Burt Show Host 3]

Okay.

[Charlie]

Because if the groom is someone, like, really terrible that the bride's marrying, everyone feel, you know, like the girls feel like, God, you know, at least I'm not marrying him. You know, we're just. You have some good. You have someone, like, really, you know, not so great to compare yourself to, especially if you can make fun of the bride and the groom, you know, behind their back. That's always, like, sort of a turn on for some reason for the girls.

[Burt Show Host 2]

All right, so you're heading out to Tennessee when?

[Charlie]

I'm headed out tomorrow morning. Tonight, I'm going out, but the wedding's tomorrow.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Okay. Okay. So we can check back with you on Monday morning. And if you had to give yourself odds on if you are gonna do well this weekend at this wedding or not, what odds would you give yourself?

[Charlie]

Oh, I give myself pretty good odds. I mean, number one, it's a large wedding. It's out of town? Yeah, totally. And I look good.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Do you have a story already in your mind of who you're gonna be at the wedding?

[Charlie]

I'll probably be a really nice guy type of thing. You know, sort of like a little shy maybe. I mean, it's like my sister's friend's wedding and so they're younger, you know, I'm a little bit more successful than a lot of them. I'm sor a good catch, you know, type of thing. But maybe I'll just be like a little self effacing or, you know.

[Burt Show Host 2]

How old are you?

[Charlie]

I'm. I'm 26.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Charlie, we'll check back in with you on Monday morning. I will tell you that you got a couple of people in here a little skeptical, but we'll check back in with you on Monday morning around 7:30, see how you do.

[Noah]

Oh, yeah.

[Charlie]

It's a sure thing, man.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Okay. It's a sure thing.

[Burt Show Host 3]

Sure thing.

[Burt Show Host 2]

It's a sure thing, man. All right, Charlie. Now back on with us on the Voice Disguiser. Yep. Hey, Charlie.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Hey, guys. How you doing?

[Burt Show Host 2]

Good, man. Well, the first question even before you tell us how you did this weekend, because we're all pretty much believing that you're going to say that you did very, very well. What was your story going into the wedding? What Persona did you put on?

[Charlie]

I didn't put on a Persona. It was still just me. Like I mentioned something, I just heard the Voice Disguiser and I sound like an Oompa Loompa. How come you can't make me? Like, now I sound like a creepy guy, you know, with his Oompa Loompa voice.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Well, you sound like. I think it's the material more than it is the voice disguiser. You being a creepy guy. Y.

[Charlie]

It wasn't any story. My sister was there, so I couldn't make up too many stories. You know, it was her friend who was getting married. So, you know, it's just, you know, my typical suave self.

[Burt Show Host 2]

I can hear it. Yeah, it's dripping through the speakers. So what happened?

[Charlie]

You know, the problem with this is that if I called and said that I didn't get laid, then you would believe me, I guess. And then if I said I did get laid, then you wouldn't believe me, so. But I did get laid.

[Burt Show Host 2]

You did?

[Charlie]

Yeah. Yeah. And of course you're gonna go, oh, yeah. But yeah, I did.

[Burt Show Host 3]

Now I'm curious because you said it was a sister's friend getting married. Now there's the poss that there Would be a lot of people you already knew. Was this a total stranger that you were able to get lucky with?

[Charlie]

Yeah, it's someone who I. Who I really don't know. Before it was. It was the bride's sister.

[Burt Show Host 3]

Okay.

[Charlie]

Oh, she was. Yeah. And I think she's the one. I think I'm really in love with her. I'm gonna stay with her forever.

[Burt Show Host 1]

Was she the maid of honor in the wedding?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host 1]

And she's not married?

[Charlie]

No, no, she's not.

[Burt Show Host 1]

She's not involved or anything. And her sister's. Her sister was the one getting married?

[Noah]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Is that prime target number one right there?

[Charlie]

Yeah, you do get extra points for that.

[Burt Show Host 1]

But, you know, she was, like, really mad that her sister got married before.

[Charlie]

You know, she was a little bit of that, but she was more pissed off at the other. At the other maid of honor.

[Burt Show Host 3]

Other maid of honor?

[Charlie]

Yeah, she's. Sometimes there's a tacky old friend of the bride's and of her sisters, and she didn't think that she should be the maid of honor, blah, blah, blah. So I didn't make fun of the bride and groom, but we sort of made fun of the other maid of honor.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Did you say that this was an older sister or a younger sister?

[Charlie]

I don't even know.

[Burt Show Host 2]

I bet it's an older. I bet it's an older sister.

[Burt Show Host 3]

If a younger sister's getting married before you.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Easy target. Is that what you're saying? Oh, yeah.

[Burt Show Host 1]

Oh, for sure.

[Charlie]

She was really just beautiful. I mean, she was stunning.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Really?

[Charlie]

Yeah, totally.

[Burt Show Host 3]

That's all you have to say to her? You know what? Honestly, you look so much better than the bride. Than she's yours.

[Charlie]

Exactly. Your sister looks like, you know, junk. Right.

[Burt Show Host 1]

So when did you start working it with her? Like, when did you pick her out and start working it? Was it Friday? Was it Saturday day?

[Charlie]

I met her the night before the wedding really briefly. And I thought she was. I mean, totally. There's, like, her and, like, two other girls who I was, like, really interested in. And then the next day, we saw each other again, and we just sort of laughed and, you know, and she was already going. I heard that my sister was telling me that she was going in on the other maid of honor. So I thought, yeah, there's my entry point.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Okay, here's my entry point. The military operation. So what I did is I moved in with a shock and awe.

[Burt Show Host 1]

Right.

[Burt Show Host 3]

Let me ask you a question, because one thing, that one thing that you talked about last week that sounded a little offensive was you know, making fun of the bride and groom and making fun, whatever. And that's a good way to get into the conversation. But I'm thinking in this scenario, like, did you use any tactic like that to.

[Charlie]

Oh, yeah, the tactic that we used like that was making fun of the other maid of honor, but not the bride, of course.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Right.

[Charlie]

You know.

[Burt Show Host 1]

So did she drink a lot at the reception?

[Charlie]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Burt Show Host 2]

How much?

[Charlie]

How much did she drink or. I drink her. Oh, and she drank the worst junk too, man. She was drinking like mojitos and then a martini or something. I don't even know what she was doing to herself. But. But it was fine, right?

[Burt Show Host 2]

You didn't care.

[Charlie]

But she wasn't. I don't take advantage of anyone who's passed out. But if they're drunk, it's all right.

[Burt Show Host 2]

You were. I'm sure you were forced to.

[Burt Show Host 3]

That makes you a gentleman. Exactly.

[Burt Show Host 2]

For a minute, I didn't think you were classy.

[Burt Show Host 3]

When she's unconscious and you don't do her.

[Samantha]

Oh, man.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Well, a guy with a heart, no wonder why they fall for you.

[Burt Show Host 3]

You're such a soul.

[Burt Show Host 1]

So the bride and groom leaves. You blow the bubbles, throw the rice at the birdseed or, you know, let butterflies go or whatever, and the bride and the groom leave.

[Charlie]

Then what happens? They didn't leave. They stayed until the end of the reception.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Oh.

[Charlie]

But. But, yeah, and we just hung out a lot. You know, we just. We hung out, we danced, we had a good time. It was a little touch and go there for a while. But, you know.

[Burt Show Host 1]

You weren't sure you were gonna get in there.

[Charlie]

I wasn't so sure I was gonna get in there. And by the time we got back to her room, which was much nicer than my room because she was staying in, you know, the sort of family suite type of thing.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Oh, sure.

[Charlie]

It was already like 4:30 in the morning, so it had to be quick, you know.

[Burt Show Host 1]

That's your excuse anyway, right?

[Charlie]

I just did it for you guys.

[Acast Narrator]

Thanks.

[Burt Show Host 3]

Thank you for the.

[Charlie]

Change my ways. But I thought I had to prove something.

[Burt Show Host 2]

All right, Charlie. Thank you for calling. We're not sure if you're telling the truth or not, but we just gotta go with what we hear. So thank you for calling.

[Charlie]

Thank you. Have a great week, guys.

[Burt Show Host 2]

Bye, Charlie. Check away. Bye. Bye. The bird show.

[Verizon Announcer]

In a world where January is supposed to be boring, one staple of the holidays refuses to end the great deals at Verizon, the joy just keeps on coming. Right now, you can save on four new phones and four lines. Critics agree it's the deal that keeps on giving. Come into Verizon and save on four new phones and four lines on unlimited. Welcome. Additional terms apply seeverizon.com for details.

[Raj]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah. And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[Noah]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[Raj]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[Noah]

We'Ll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right. So the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[Raj]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Noah]

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

[Samantha]

Love y'.

[Burt Show Host 3]

All.

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