F (2:06)

Show My goal for the weekend was to find my mojo and not be desperate. That sounds sad.

G (2:12)

I actually had to take Wendy's phone from her because of the text messaging. Even the non drunk text Message, because we were talking Friday about how, you know, she feels, she doesn't want to play the games. And you want to just go ahead and contact a guy if you like him. Right.

F (2:28)

Like, right away. Usually I'll contact right back. I'll text right back. Especially if I dig a guy. So I'll text him right back and not wait any sorts of period waiting to text him back. So I guess I looked eager. So Melissa had to take my phone because a boy, Doug, kind of text me in the morning because I text him the night before.

G (2:46)

And I could see the temptation. I could see the fingers going toward the touchpad. And I said, no, give me your phone.

F (2:51)

So she took my phone for the morning, and then I had the assignment that I couldn't text boys until today at noon.

G (2:58)

That's right.

H (2:59)

And it was good.

F (3:01)

Well, I didn't drunk drunk text.

I (3:03)

But you text somebody.

J (3:06)

But it was supposed to not be anybody you were really interested in. Right?

G (3:10)

Okay. So.

J (3:11)

Okay, please explain.

F (3:13)

All right. Friday night, me and Sean ended up at five paces, and the phone was away. It was in my bag. So I didn't touch the phone at all on Friday night, which is really

J (3:22)

difficult because Wendy just got a cool new iPhone.

G (3:24)

Right.

F (3:24)

I love this.

I (3:25)

So she's looking for reasons to use it.

F (3:27)

It's amazing.

J (3:27)

It's just cool.

G (3:28)

And it wasn't in her bag, and it was at the bar to having drinks itself. It's kind of a Weir.

J (3:32)

It was actually bartending.

G (3:33)

Yeah, exactly.

J (3:34)

The iPhone was actually pouring drinks.

F (3:36)

My bartender for the night.

H (3:37)

I downloaded the app get buzzed for me.

F (3:41)

So we just mingled and actually met a lot of cool guys and mingled around. And I met this one guy out on Friday night who was really cool, hung out with him the whole night. So obviously I didn't have a reason to text, but he texted me and asked if I got home okay. So I was, like, on a technicality. I just say text back, and I just go, yes. I made it home safe.

I (4:01)

That was it.

F (4:02)

Okay. That was it for Friday night.

C (4:03)

Totally agreed.

H (4:03)

It's fair enough. Because if you didn't text back, you might have called 911 or climbed out from under your bed to see if

F (4:09)

you're okay or whatever could have happened.

I (4:11)

That one was legit. Did you text him again over the weekend at all?

F (4:15)

Yes. Well, good question. Wendy came in.

G (4:22)

There's a lot of eye contact with us, and she's looking at us, engaging us. And the more she's talking, the more she's just looking down at the mirror. I'm really ashamed.

F (4:29)

I'm ashamed of myself.

A (4:30)

It's always the difference.

F (4:30)

I'm ashamed of myself. No, Saturday night was a great night. Obviously, we heard about it with Sean

J (4:35)

and Jen, and we had some birch show bonding time.

F (4:38)

Bircho bonding and bonding over drinks. So I did send a drunk dial.

I (4:44)

Couldn't even do it one weekend. Wendy, you couldn't do it one weekend,

F (4:46)

but it was one I didn't say.

G (4:49)

So you. I thought you said that you did drunk text.

F (4:51)

No, I didn't leave a message. It was just.

J (4:53)

He just got a missed call for

H (4:54)

me, but it's on the caller id. At what time?

F (4:58)

I don't remember.

G (4:59)

The more she talks, the more we realize. Just.

I (5:01)

Will you grab a mic over here also, because I want you to be. I want you to be the truth, because I know Wendy has a tough time.

F (5:06)

Well, I'm telling you something, because I would have been like, no, I didn't.

I (5:09)

100% truth.

H (5:10)

Yeah, we want to talk to Wendy and we want to find out what really happened.

I (5:12)

Right.

F (5:13)

Well, yesterday we were like, wait to a certain time to text him back or call him or something. And you know, you can't do it exactly at like 12:30 or 1 because then it looks too obvious. So we gave her a time limit and she had to do it, like within an hour after she texted him.

C (5:32)

I'm telling.

F (5:32)

Here is the thing that you need to learn.

J (5:34)

You did?

F (5:35)

Oh, I did wait.

J (5:35)

Yeah.

F (5:36)

You waited till when to text him back?

I (5:39)

Yeah, the second text.

F (5:41)

Well, I called him on Saturday night and left a drunk dial. But then Sunday he sent me a text.

I (5:46)

And then you text him back, but

F (5:47)

I waited an hour. Is that the one you wanted?

G (5:49)

Wow.

H (5:49)

Wow. 60 whole minutes. What did you do with yourself?

G (5:53)

Wow, Wendy, that's a lifetime.

I (5:56)

An amazing strength you found. Would be so proud.

F (5:59)

But I didn't. It's not like I sent like, while I was like, well. Cause then he didn't text back to that text that I sent him an hour later for a while. But I. So I didn't send like two or five in the middle of that. I didn't send him any in the middle. I was patient.

J (6:12)

I think it's okay to respond.

I (6:14)

No, you cannot err. The whole point of the chase, she failed. That was. That's it. I mean, you cannot err on the side.

J (6:22)

I think, in comparison to where it was. Wendy has really.

I (6:26)

She couldn't go one weekend with the assignment.

F (6:29)

Well, he did send me a text. He's like, are you gonna get in Trouble for texting me?

A (6:32)

Yes.

F (6:32)

I go, yes.

G (6:34)

And she texted back, yes.

F (6:36)

There's another one.

C (6:37)

Okay.

F (6:38)

Was the drunk dial the same guy you had me drunk dial? No.

J (6:42)

No.

I (6:43)

So you had her drunk dial somebody for you also.

F (6:45)

Well, I don't think you did. I looked at my phone as that guy. I go, no, never mind. And then I guess Sean did it.

H (6:52)

Anyway, how were you? Will you send a text message to boosh number four for me, please?

F (6:57)

No, but it was. This is a different guy. It wasn't the ones before. So I did good.

I (7:02)

You can't err on the side of waiting too long for a guy. You can't really. I mean, we'll wait and wait and

F (7:07)

wait, but I'm just being friendly.

I (7:11)

You're not. You're being desperate. That's what I'm trying to get you out of.

F (7:14)

I didn't.

J (7:15)

I thought. I thought you did pretty good. I did good.

F (7:17)

It was all friendly texts.

H (7:18)

But here's the problem. Right? But here's.

J (7:21)

Just so you know, I also think that she was texting back to maybe somebody she's not as interested in.

A (7:26)

Right.

J (7:27)

As other people she could have been text messaging.

H (7:29)

Doesn't matter, because here's the problem.

F (7:31)

You've taken her assignment for the weekend.

G (7:35)

The assignment for the weekend was not to text.

I (7:37)

Women are pathetic and other women are enablers.

H (7:40)

One text message.

J (7:42)

She's not texting the guy that she really likes.

F (7:44)

No. Isn't drunk.

I (7:45)

You're enabling.

H (7:46)

One text message is one text.

A (7:50)

Mm.

H (7:51)

See, one text message is 20 steps backwards. Because if you're in a relationship, if you're having this relationship with the guy, whatever it is, no matter how much you like him, if you text message, if he's used to text messaging you and getting a response right back. Right? And then he, all of a sudden, one whole weekend doesn't get a response back. He's like, whoa, wait a minute. Why am I off the radar? But one text message back, that's it. Reinforcement that he's on the radar and he's still on your.

F (8:21)

But I just met him on Friday, so it's okay.

I (8:23)

How is your system worked up till this point? I'm just curious.

H (8:27)

Like, I usually text him while I watch him walk out of the bar. Hey, I'm watching you leave the bar.

F (8:34)

I just. I guess I'm more gutsy when I have a couple of drinks, so I usually just send text message after text message because I think it's funny. But I haven't. I didn't do that this weekend, so what you're asking.

G (8:44)

What you're asking her, Bert, is. Has her. The way she's been doing this so far. Worked for her, been successful for her when it comes to relationships.

I (8:52)

That's exactly what I'm asking.

G (8:53)

That's what Bert was asking.

I (8:54)

Well, that's a pretty obvious.

F (8:55)

I've only been single for a little while, so I can't really.

I (8:58)

Well, you've been single since birth or what? Well, I mean, you were seeing the dude for a while, and now here you are, you're out there single again, and you're not getting the love you want.

H (9:10)

I know.

F (9:10)

I'm really bad at this.

H (9:11)

Just while we're wrapping up this conversation. Hey, Brittany, are you familiar enough with the iPhone that if Wendy handed you hers right now, you could just confirm what she's telling us?

F (9:18)

Oh, here, I can show you. Unless she deleted it. No, I didn't delete anything out of my phone. As wasted as she was, she did very well. This was.

I (9:27)

See the enabling. See, guys would never give each other this kind of room. You make one claw, you succeed or you fail.

H (9:33)

Guess what? I know. I have friends.

G (9:35)

Women do nurture each other.

F (9:36)

Totally, man.

H (9:37)

I have friends.

G (9:38)

It's not enabling, it's nurturing. I do think that she did fail what we asked her to do.

H (9:42)

You play golf. You play 18 holes of golf. You jack up one putt on one hole, and that's all the guys are gonna concentrate on.

G (9:50)

It was not to text a boy that you were interested in, and you did. So. I mean, you didn't fulfill the assignment when I was.

F (9:56)

But I didn't do it when I was out.

G (9:58)

But you didn't. That's not what the assignment was.

I (10:01)

Couldn't go one way.

C (10:01)

I thought.

F (10:02)

I was pretty proud of myself. I think you're on the way there now. I'm gonna go home and have a fun day. I thought I did really good.

H (10:09)

The Birch show.

B (10:10)

We're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

A (10:14)

Hi there.

B (10:15)

We're looking to get to the campground.

C (10:17)

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

B (10:22)

How are you getting a signal out here?

C (10:24)

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

B (10:35)

Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile Store.

D (10:39)

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.

E (10:54)

Best mobile network based on analysis by Oogle of speed test intelligence data 2H2025 bigger network the combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details.

D (11:10)

ABC Wednesday in comedian Nate Brigetzi's new game show to win, you don't need

A (11:15)

to know the right answer, just what

F (11:16)

most Americans think is right.

D (11:18)

It's not about being the smartest. You just have to be the most average.

F (11:22)

We asked 100 average Americans, did they keep an empty gas can in their car? No. Have they ever broken a bone?

C (11:27)

No.

A (11:27)

I said a lot of no.

C (11:29)

That's all right.

F (11:30)

My wife says a lot of no as well.

D (11:32)

The greatest Average American premieres Wednesday, 9, 8 Central on ABC and stream next day on Hulu.

B (11:39)

We're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

A (11:44)

Hi there.

B (11:44)

We're looking to get to the campground.

C (11:46)

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. Nah, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

B (11:52)

How are you getting a signal out here?

C (11:53)

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

B (12:05)

Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile store?

D (12:08)

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores.

E (12:24)

Best mobile network based on analysis by Oogle of Speed test intelligence data at 2H 2025 bigger network the combination of T Mobile's and US cellular network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details.