Vault: Do Guys Lie About Being Gay To Meet Women?

Summary

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The Bert Show: "Vault: Do Guys Lie About Being Gay To Meet Women?"

Date: February 13, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & others

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show explores the provocative question: "Do guys lie about being gay to get closer to women?" Sparked by a lighthearted recounting of a Pride weekend, the discussion delves into personal comfort, gender dynamics, and listener confessions about pretending to be gay—whether to attract women or avoid them. The cast brings humor and honesty, sharing anecdotes and engaging listeners in a thoughtful and sometimes cheeky conversation about authenticity and dating games.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Kicking Off: Comfort in Gay Male-Female Friendships

[01:01–02:26]

• Kristin describes how she met a gay man during Pride and ended up having a whirlwind weekend—Swinging Richards, drag shows, and new friendships.
• The group discusses how straight women often feel more at ease with gay men, enjoying their company without feeling "on guard" against unwanted advances.
  • Cassie: "It’s still male attention, which is fun, but there’s just no threat there. So you just can be yourself, your guard’s down..." [02:29]
• Bert points out that this environment could be ripe for manipulation if a straight man chose to pretend to be gay for access or trust.

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2. Would a Man Pretend to Be Gay for Female Friendship (or More)?

[02:48–03:43]

• The group discusses the potential (and ethical implications) of faking one's sexuality to gain trust or access to women.
  • Bert: "If you fake being gay to get close to a woman, instead of coming clean, you'd maybe say, 'I thought I was into men, but after hanging out with you I’ve realized I could have feelings for a woman.'" [03:00]
  • Cassie: "If you're faking it, just say you lied just to get close to her. Don't act like she changed you..." [03:37]
• General sentiment: It's shady and manipulative, but the cast acknowledges it's a tactic some might attempt.

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3. Listener Confessions: Real Life Tales

Scott Calls In — The “Back Streets” Strategy

[03:43–05:19]

• Scott, a listener, shares a story from his twenties:
  • He and a friend frequented a popular gay bar, pretending to be gay to get free drinks from men and to more easily approach women, who also felt comfortable around gay men.
  • Scott: "We would pretend like we were gay and the guys would buy us all drinks...then slowly move in with the talk with the women because they felt a little bit more comfortable..." [04:48]
• When asked how they made the transition to flirting, Scott says they'd claim to be bisexual or simply "experimental."
  • Scott: "Sometimes it was easier enough to say that you were either bi or that, you know, you were experimental..." [04:55]
• Most women, he claims, didn't really mind, especially in the party atmosphere.
• The cast reacts with mixed amusement and disapproval about the “bad precedent” it sets.

John Calls In — The “Escape Route”

[05:19–06:41]

• John, another listener, admits to pretending to be gay not to get closer to a woman, but to discourage a persistent suitor:
  • John: "...there was just no other way to get rid of this girl. She was trying to [be] on top of me all the time...so I just one day started acting gay. And it worked." [05:49]
  • He clarifies he never introduced a fake boyfriend, just acted in a way that made his disinterest clear.
• The cast pokes fun at John's method and collectively groans at the lengths guys will go to avoid uncomfortable real talk.

Bert’s Wrap-Up

• Bert: "What you are learning from guys is that we will lie to get in and we will lie to get out." [06:41]
• Laughter ensues as the cast acknowledges the persistent problem of honesty (or lack thereof) in dating dynamics.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Cassie: "Hanging out with gay men as a straight girl is so comfortable because you don’t have to have your guard up that they're, like, trying to, you know, touch you or get at you..." [02:29]
• Kristin (quoting an encounter): "If I was not gay, I would date you. You’re so beautiful. I’m like, why can't you be straight? So tough." [02:51]
• Scott (caller): "We would pretend like we were gay and the guys would buy us all drinks...then slowly move in with the talk with the women…" [04:48]
• Bert: "What you are learning from guys is that we will lie to get in and we will lie to get out." [06:41]

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Important Timestamps

• [01:07]: Kristin’s Pride weekend anecdote at Swinging Richards
• [02:29]: Discussion on comfort of straight women with gay male friends
• [03:00–03:37]: Debating the ethics and mechanics of pretending to be gay
• [03:46]: Scott’s call-in and story
• [04:55]: “Transition” tactics explained
• [05:28]: John calls in about pretending to be gay to deter a woman
• [06:41]: Bert’s concluding quip on men lying to get in and out of situations

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Closing Thoughts

This Bert Show episode offered a funny, honest, and occasionally eyebrow-raising look at what people will do for romantic access or avoidance. The hosts keep the mood light but don’t shy away from pointing out the problematic sides of such deception. Listener stories both amuse and spotlight how common little white lies—or big ones—can be in the dating world.

For anyone curious about the complexities and shenanigans of modern dating (and friendships), this episode is packed with real talk and good humor.

Transcript

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[B]

So Wendy was celebrating pride this weekend, also in a big way, at Swinging Richards.

[C]

Oh, yes. Swinging Richards. I met this guy at the pool, and it turns out that he was gay. And he took me out to Swinging Richards that same night. And then the next night we went. And then on Sunday, we went to a drag show. So I just got my pride on this weekend. My new founding friends.

[D]

I think it's hilarious. He went to Swinging Richards not once, but twice on the same weekend.

[B]

And got phone numbers.

[C]

Yes, and got phone numbers.

[B]

And she got phone numbers. And I was. I was assuming that it's Swinging Richards. The guys that dance there were gay because it's predominantly a gay.

[D]

Gay crowd. It's a gay crowd, but, you know, maybe not, because not all female strippers are straight. They're strips. So, I mean, that's just an assumption.

[B]

Are there any guys that are brave enough to call us up and admit that they have faked being gay to get close to a woman? Because you were saying, like, this guy now. I mean, you're so comfortable around this guy. You're having a great time. And there's no chance that this guy is straight?

[C]

Oh, no. No chance. Not at all. Not even an ounce.

[B]

Not one drop.

[C]

Burn. He's got a boyfriend. So, I mean, there's no chance. I mean, I'm very comfortable around him now. I've already taken a nap after the pool on Friday and 4th of July at their place. So, I mean, it's a very Comfortable relationship already.

[B]

That's what you just said.

[D]

Ye.

[B]

It's a very comfortable relationship already.

[D]

Exactly. Hanging out with gay men as a straight girl is so comfortable because you don't have to have your guard up that they're, like, trying to, you know, touch you or get at you or whatever. You can just hang out. It's still male attention, which is fun, but there's just no threat there. So you just can be yourself, your guard's down or whatever. And sometimes you have more in common to talk about than with straight dudes.

[C]

You're so much fun. Like, I had a guy come up to me at Swinging Ridgers. He was like, if I was not gay, I would date you. You're so beautiful. I'm like, why can't you be strai so tough?

[B]

Now, this could go a couple of ways also, because we could ask for women to call in that have had guys that faked being gay in the beginning of the relationship and then had to come clean. But I'm assuming that if you fake being gay to get close to a woman, that instead of saying, look, I've been lying the last couple of months, you would just say something. You continue to lie and say, I thought that I was into men, but after hanging out with you, I've realized that it's possible for me to have romantic feelings for a woman.

[D]

Maybe that would be the way to play it if you were gonna try to do that.

[B]

Are you offended by this whole.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, no. I mean.

[D]

But yeah, by that. Like, if you're.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

If you're faking it, just say you lie just to get close to her. Don't act like she changed you or anything like that.

[B]

Good morning, Scott. You're on Q100.

[E]

Hey, how's it going?

[B]

Okay. How are you?

[E]

I'm doing well.

[B]

The assumption here is that, like Wendy just said, she's so comfortable around this guy, he's gay. There's no threat there. There's just. The defenses are down. She's comfortable. It would be a great ploy for a straight guy to try to fake it if you were bold enough to pull it off.

[E]

I had a friend, and I was. Now I'm almost 40 now. But my friend and I, we used to go to. What is it? Back streets, back when it used to be there. And we would go there, and we weren't very. We were right out of college. We didn't have a whole lot of money, so we would go there and get, you know, buy. You know, have the guys buy us drinks. And do all that. We were there, but late at nights, a lot of the women who danced and did, you know, worked at night. Night shifts of bars would always go there at late hours. So that was a nice place to find women. So we would pretend like we were gay and the guys would buy us all drinks and we'd get drunk and hammered and then slowly move in with the talk with the women because they felt a little bit more comfortable being there, the gay men. So it was an easy ploy.

[B]

So how did you make the transition if they're hanging out with you because you're a gay guy and then you go for something a little bit?

[E]

Well, we. Sometimes it was easier enough to say that you were either bi or that, you know, you were experimental or anything of that nature.

[D]

And what was the reaction usually from most of the women? They didn't care?

[E]

No, most women didn't care at all. They didn't care whatsoever. They, you know, like I said, we were in our early 20s and they didn't make a big deal whatsoever about it.

[B]

Setting a bad precedent here. Very bad. This goes another way also. Hey, John, you're on Q100. You are.

[F]

Okay, well, I wasn't necessarily trying to get closer to a girl. I was trying to run away from.

[E]

Her.

[F]

For me to get rid of her, you know, trying to be gay. And, you know, it just worked for me.

[B]

So how long were you, like, it.

[D]

Took you to determine that? I just don't like women.

[F]

I mean, it's not the most manly way to get, you know, run away from her. But, you know, there was just no other way to get rid of this girl. She was trying to on top of me all the time. And I was like, you know what? I just one day start acting gay. And it worked.

[B]

You are a coward.

[F]

A.

[B]

But B, how long were you guys going out with each other before you told this to her?

[F]

Probably about. Well, we weren't actually going out. She was just trying to, you know, hitting on me all the time. And I kept ignoring her, ignoring her. And she just didn't get the message. So one way that it worked for me was to act gay.

[B]

Did you go to a certain extent to where you would like introduce her to guy friends of yours and say that they were your boyfriend?

[F]

No, I didn't took it that far. But, you know, I was definitely acting, you know, I guess, you know, I was a good actor doing it because it worked.

[B]

What you are learning from guys is that we will lie to get in and we will lie to get out.

[D]

That's true.

[A]

But we will lie the bird show.