The Bert Show: "Vault: Do Guys Lie About Being Gay To Meet Women?"
Date: February 13, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & others
Episode Overview
This episode of The Bert Show explores the provocative question: "Do guys lie about being gay to get closer to women?" Sparked by a lighthearted recounting of a Pride weekend, the discussion delves into personal comfort, gender dynamics, and listener confessions about pretending to be gay—whether to attract women or avoid them. The cast brings humor and honesty, sharing anecdotes and engaging listeners in a thoughtful and sometimes cheeky conversation about authenticity and dating games.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Kicking Off: Comfort in Gay Male-Female Friendships
[01:01–02:26]
- Kristin describes how she met a gay man during Pride and ended up having a whirlwind weekend—Swinging Richards, drag shows, and new friendships.
- The group discusses how straight women often feel more at ease with gay men, enjoying their company without feeling "on guard" against unwanted advances.
- Cassie: "It’s still male attention, which is fun, but there’s just no threat there. So you just can be yourself, your guard’s down..." [02:29]
- Bert points out that this environment could be ripe for manipulation if a straight man chose to pretend to be gay for access or trust.
2. Would a Man Pretend to Be Gay for Female Friendship (or More)?
[02:48–03:43]
- The group discusses the potential (and ethical implications) of faking one's sexuality to gain trust or access to women.
- Bert: "If you fake being gay to get close to a woman, instead of coming clean, you'd maybe say, 'I thought I was into men, but after hanging out with you I’ve realized I could have feelings for a woman.'" [03:00]
- Cassie: "If you're faking it, just say you lied just to get close to her. Don't act like she changed you..." [03:37]
- General sentiment: It's shady and manipulative, but the cast acknowledges it's a tactic some might attempt.
3. Listener Confessions: Real Life Tales
Scott Calls In — The “Back Streets” Strategy
[03:43–05:19]
- Scott, a listener, shares a story from his twenties:
- He and a friend frequented a popular gay bar, pretending to be gay to get free drinks from men and to more easily approach women, who also felt comfortable around gay men.
- Scott: "We would pretend like we were gay and the guys would buy us all drinks...then slowly move in with the talk with the women because they felt a little bit more comfortable..." [04:48]
- When asked how they made the transition to flirting, Scott says they'd claim to be bisexual or simply "experimental."
- Scott: "Sometimes it was easier enough to say that you were either bi or that, you know, you were experimental..." [04:55]
- Most women, he claims, didn't really mind, especially in the party atmosphere.
- The cast reacts with mixed amusement and disapproval about the “bad precedent” it sets.
John Calls In — The “Escape Route”
[05:19–06:41]
- John, another listener, admits to pretending to be gay not to get closer to a woman, but to discourage a persistent suitor:
- John: "...there was just no other way to get rid of this girl. She was trying to [be] on top of me all the time...so I just one day started acting gay. And it worked." [05:49]
- He clarifies he never introduced a fake boyfriend, just acted in a way that made his disinterest clear.
- The cast pokes fun at John's method and collectively groans at the lengths guys will go to avoid uncomfortable real talk.
Bert’s Wrap-Up
- Bert: "What you are learning from guys is that we will lie to get in and we will lie to get out." [06:41]
- Laughter ensues as the cast acknowledges the persistent problem of honesty (or lack thereof) in dating dynamics.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Cassie: "Hanging out with gay men as a straight girl is so comfortable because you don’t have to have your guard up that they're, like, trying to, you know, touch you or get at you..." [02:29]
- Kristin (quoting an encounter): "If I was not gay, I would date you. You’re so beautiful. I’m like, why can't you be straight? So tough." [02:51]
- Scott (caller): "We would pretend like we were gay and the guys would buy us all drinks...then slowly move in with the talk with the women…" [04:48]
- Bert: "What you are learning from guys is that we will lie to get in and we will lie to get out." [06:41]
Important Timestamps
- [01:07]: Kristin’s Pride weekend anecdote at Swinging Richards
- [02:29]: Discussion on comfort of straight women with gay male friends
- [03:00–03:37]: Debating the ethics and mechanics of pretending to be gay
- [03:46]: Scott’s call-in and story
- [04:55]: “Transition” tactics explained
- [05:28]: John calls in about pretending to be gay to deter a woman
- [06:41]: Bert’s concluding quip on men lying to get in and out of situations
Closing Thoughts
This Bert Show episode offered a funny, honest, and occasionally eyebrow-raising look at what people will do for romantic access or avoidance. The hosts keep the mood light but don’t shy away from pointing out the problematic sides of such deception. Listener stories both amuse and spotlight how common little white lies—or big ones—can be in the dating world.
For anyone curious about the complexities and shenanigans of modern dating (and friendships), this episode is packed with real talk and good humor.
