Vault: Do Women Really Do This To Men While They Sleep?

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Do Women Really Do This To Men While They Sleep?
Date: April 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this light-hearted and candid episode, the Bert Show crew dives into a curious question inspired by depictions in TV and movies: Do women actually "lift the sheet" to secretly check out a man's physique while he's asleep after a hookup? The cast and callers exchange funny stories, explore the motivations behind such behavior, and debate its reality versus fiction. The result is an open, humorous, and unexpectedly honest look at post-hookup rituals and the dynamics of casual encounters.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Curiosity Sparked by Pop Culture (01:14–02:56)

• Main topic introduced: Bert (Caller/Listener 1) describes seeing scenes in True Blood and The Hangover where women sneak a peek at sleeping men after a hookup.
  • “I’ve seen either TV shows or movies where... before he gets up, while he’s still crashed out asleep, she lifts the sheet up on the bed and then looks down at him...” (01:14)
• Cast wonders: Is this grounded in real life or just screenwriting fantasy?

2. Debate: Does This Actually Happen? (02:56–04:10)

• The team discusses if it makes sense; if you've slept together, wouldn’t you already know?
  • Abby (Caller/Listener 3): “If you’ve already slept together... kind of get it, what I’m saying.” (02:56)
• Alcohol and memory: If the night was drunken and the details fuzzy, curiosity the next morning makes more sense.
  • “You might not remember... so you take a peek and go...” (03:09, Caller/Listener 2)
• Social angle: Wanting details to share with friends.
  • Abby: “…if you’re gonna tell the story to your girlfriend…you gotta be able to tell the whole story.” (03:27)

3. Callers Weigh In—Real-Life “Sheet Lifting” Stories (04:11–08:09)

• First Caller, Caroline: Admits to “lifting the sheet”

  • “Yeah, I have to say, I’ve lifted the sheet before…just to, you know…see what was going on down there.” (04:13–04:18)
  • Alcohol cited as a factor, making morning curiosity more likely. “Maybe a little trophy just to... take a peek.” (04:18)

• The difference between “natural state” vs. “previous night fun”: Some women are simply doing a reality check in the daylight.

  • “You just want to make sure that it matched up to ... what happened the night before... or not.” (04:35–04:46)

• Another Caller, Katie: Also confesses

  • “Yeah, I just want…if you don’t remember, you want to remember what it looked like... just to see how big it was.” (06:08)

• Notable Exchange:

  • Bert: “Why do you need the visual?” (06:17)
  • Katie: “You just want to look.” (06:23)

• Third Caller, Jennifer: Measurement Escapades

  • Jennifer shares a comedic story: after a boozy night, her friends egged her on to use a ruler/tape measure on the sleeping guy for bragging rights.
  • “Both my girlfriends called me and they were like, ‘you have to look and you have to use a ruler.’” (07:16)
  • She followed through with a tape measure, and he never found out: “Has no clue. And what’s really funny is, was my boyfriend for almost five and a half years.” (07:51, 07:57)
  • The group jokes about the logistics of sneaking a tape measure under the sheets.

4. Reflecting On the Motivations (05:54–06:38, 08:09–08:49)

• Bragging rights: Women joke about sharing only the “good stories”—poor experiences remain untold.
  • “You don’t tell your girlfriends about guys who aren’t good...” (05:34)
• Humor about measuring systems:
  • Caller/Listener 2: “That’s why I only hook up in Europe, because they use the metric system—it just sounds more impressive!” (08:09–08:18)
• Soft vs. steel tape measures: The group laughs about which kind is best for secretive measuring (08:25–08:45).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Caller/Listener 2 (on drunken memory):
  "You might not remember or recollect something like that. So you take a peek..." (03:09)
• Abby (on storytelling):
  "If you’re going to tell the story to your girlfriend, you gotta be able to tell the whole story." (03:27)
• Caroline (caller):
  "I have to say I've lifted the sheet before... Maybe a little trophy just to take a peek." (04:13, 04:18)
• Jennifer (caller, on measuring):
  “Both my girlfriends called me and they were like, you have to look and you have to use a ruler.” (07:16)
• Caller/Listener 2 (on metrics):
  "That's why I only hook up in Europe, because they use the metric system and it just sounds more impressive." (08:09)

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Important Timestamps

• 01:14 – Main scenario introduced: TV/movies depicting “sheet lifting”
• 02:56 – Panel begins discussing if it’s realistic
• 03:27 – Motivation: storytelling for girlfriends
• 04:13–04:18 – First caller admits to doing it
• 05:34 – “Bad” hookups go unmentioned to friends
• 07:16–07:51 – Callers recount using a ruler/tape measure
• 08:09 – Jokes about metric system and measurement logistics

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Tone & Style

• Playful, candid, and teasing—the conversation is full of gentle ribbing, honest (yet light) confessions, and laughter. The honesty from both the cast and the callers creates a space for open, guilt-free conversations about intimacy and curiosity.

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Takeaways

• Turns out, some women really do sneak a peek out of curiosity or for the sake of a good story.
• Alcohol and memory gaps make it more likely, as does the urge to be able to “tell the whole story” to friends.
• Measurement (even with tape measures!) isn’t just a myth—at least for a few bold callers.
• The group agrees the “post-hookup peek” isn’t a universal experience, but it’s more common than most men (or movies) might expect.

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Transcript

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[Caller/Listener 1]

homes only this is the Bird Show. Twice now over the last three weeks I have seen either TV shows or movies where this scenario happens where a woman hooks up with a dude that she normally wouldn't hook up with or is hooking up with him for the very first time. He's crashed out in bed next to her and she wakes up early and before he gets up while he's still crashed out and sleep, she lifts the sheet up on the bed and then looks down at him to see how well he's built while he's sleep.

[Caller/Listener 2]

While he's sleeping.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Yeah, I guess she's gauging the size of his while he's sleeping. I saw it the other night in True Blood.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Mm.

[Caller/Listener 1]

And I saw it again in the movie. I think it was the hangover a couple of weeks ago also. And I'm just really curious if women do that.

[Caller/Listener 4]

Actually check while you're sleeping while the dude Is sleeping. You already know if the dude is sleeping naked next to you.

[Caller/Listener 1]

That's what didn't make any sense to me.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Also, I was wondering next to you.

[Radio Host]

Then you have checked that out.

[Caller/Listener 4]

You've at least done a drive by.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Not if you're drunk before. The night before.

[Caller/Listener 4]

Why would he end up naked, though?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Well, they've done it.

[Caller/Listener 2]

That's what I'm saying.

[Caller/Listener 1]

I mean, they've done it. But now my assumption is the next morning she's checking to see what it looks like in a more natural state than in its playing.

[Caller/Listener 4]

Or maybe she was. Or maybe she's unsure of what happened the night before. Like all the details are foggy. Like I can't really remember what happened.

[Radio Host]

And then looks.

[Caller/Listener 1]

404,741 Q100. It didn't make a whole bunch of sense to me. But like I said, I've seen it twice in the last couple of weeks and I'm just curious if that's a real life thing or that doesn't happen at all.

[Caller/Listener 3]

I mean, I don't know. I mean, I don't want to ask, but I figure if you're. If you've already slept together when you

[Caller/Listener 2]

kind of get it, what I'm saying. But the night I'm trying to figure

[Caller/Listener 1]

out the scenario the night before, they

[Caller/Listener 2]

do it drunk, you do it.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener 2]

Hammered. Don't have a full recollection of every detail of the evening. You remember the big things literally and figuratively, you know what I'm saying? But you might not recommend or might not remember or recollect something like that. So you take a peek and go. Or I think, well, in that scenario.

[Caller/Listener 3]

And to interrupt. I'm sorry, but I would say yes, because if you're going to tell the story to your girlfriend, you got to be able to tell the whole story. So I was the same. Women would look to be able to say, oh, yeah, okay, that's what, that's what I had.

[Caller/Listener 2]

And is it checking to see if he's naked to see what happened?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Because maybe she wasn't sure. In both of these scenarios that I saw in the movies, they both were very well aware of what happened the night before. But I think the assumption was they were just checking to see what it looks like in more of its natural

[Radio Host]

state or in the light instead of

[Caller/Listener 1]

the darkness that they were still underneath. It was still underneath the sheet. I mean, they didn't go all the way with it. Just a little Peaksy. Peaksy, just to see what it was all about.

[Radio Host]

Hell, no.

[Caller/Listener 3]

You think they'd know?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Caroline. Good morning. Q100.

[Caller/Listener 5]

Hey, morning.

[Caller/Listener 6]

Morning. Yeah, I have to say I've lifted the sheet before.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener 6]

Just to, you know, like you said, let's see what was going on down there. And little. Maybe a little trophy just to. Just to take a peek after the whole event. And like you say, there was probably some alcohol involved, so, you know, while they're sleeping and quiet, just a.

[Caller/Listener 5]

Just a little pinky peek.

[Caller/Listener 1]

So really what you're doing is you're seeing it more and it's, it's. You just want to make sure that it matched up to the. What happened the night before.

[Caller/Listener 6]

Or not. Yeah, exactly.

[Caller/Listener 5]

Or not.

[Radio Host]

Sheer disappointment if you did it the night before. And then you look and you're like, oh, that sucks.

[Caller/Listener 1]

That's why I just remember, like, if the night before you had a really great time, right. And you couldn't quite gauge from that, that would it matter the next morning what it looks like in its natural state. Even if you had a great time the night before.

[Radio Host]

Well, you don't remember your great time. I mean, you're just having a good time in the moment. But then you look the next morning and you're like, whoa, that really sucks. I can't tell you because you can't tell your girlfriends about that. That's like not a braggin.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Mm.

[Radio Host]

He can't.

[Caller/Listener 1]

What do you mean? So if you get so drunk that you don't remember having that one night stand, then there's no bragging rights to that whatsoever. So you at least need to.

[Radio Host]

He's not welling down.

[Caller/Listener 3]

So you just, you erase that.

[Caller/Listener 2]

So you don't tell your girl, you don't tell your girlfriends about guys who aren't good. You have a one night stand with a guy and he's not good. You don't tell your girlfriends about it.

[Radio Host]

No, you really don't. I keep it. I keep it secret.

[Caller/Listener 3]

I think that women because. Because the women's number's very important. So if it wasn't worth putting, putting that slash mark on your, you know, wall, then you just, you know, whatever, it didn't work.

[Caller/Listener 1]

You don't tell your friends at all. Katie, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener 5]

Good morning.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Good morning.

[Caller/Listener 6]

How are you guys?

[Caller/Listener 3]

Good.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Honestly. Did you take, did you take a peek?

[Caller/Listener 3]

You're a sheet lifter.

[Caller/Listener 6]

Yeah, I just want, like, I just figure, like, if you don't remember, you want to remember what it looked like, you know, after, just to see, you know, how big it was.

[Caller/Listener 1]

But you Just had this great experience the night before. Why do you need the visual? Well, she said she doesn't now you

[Caller/Listener 6]

just want to look.

[Caller/Listener 1]

And he's crashed out and he never notices that you take a look or not.

[Caller/Listener 6]

No, I mean he doesn't do it all the time. Just think like the ones that are worth checking out.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Okay, thank you. And Jennifer, good morning.

[Caller/Listener 5]

Good morning.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Good morning. Sometimes the show is quite an education for guys. It really is. Like, I had no idea when you're watching a TV show or movies, you don't know what's real and what's not. But I've seen this enough to go, I gotta ask this question. So did it happen to you too?

[Caller/Listener 5]

Actually it did. I went out with a bunch of girlfriends and we decided that this one guy happened to be quite well endowed and one of us was going to take him home. Well, I ended up taking him home and I was drunk and don't remember. And the next morning both my girlfriends called me and they were like, you have to look and you have to use a ruler.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Why?

[Caller/Listener 5]

Because they wanted me to measure. So needless to say, I got out the, the, the ruler.

[Caller/Listener 3]

You have a ruler?

[Caller/Listener 6]

Yeah.

[Radio Host]

You just carry one around in your purse?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Like a tape measure, I'm assuming, right?

[Caller/Listener 5]

Like a tape measure? Yeah, like a tape measure. And no, actually I don't because again, needless to say, I was at my house so it was easy to grab one. But yeah, yeah, we used tape measure and they laughed about it for days on end.

[Caller/Listener 1]

So he's sleeping and has no idea that you've got a tape measure on him?

[Caller/Listener 5]

Has no clue. And what's really funny is, was my boyfriend for almost five and a half years.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Oh, that's funny.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Really?

[Caller/Listener 3]

Oh, well, then it must have measured up, right?

[Caller/Listener 1]

I guess, yeah.

[Caller/Listener 5]

Oh, perfect, perfect. But he still to this day has no idea that two of my girlfriends know exactly, exactly how well it's out to you.

[Caller/Listener 2]

That's why I only hook up in Europe, because they use the metric system and it just sounds more impressive if I'm having a one night stand. I'm doing it like in Germany every

[Caller/Listener 3]

time I see a woman with a tape, you know, like if you see tape measures, like have you, have you measured a penis with that? And how many women would say yes?

[Caller/Listener 6]

Probably all of them?

[Caller/Listener 1]

Well, I don't know how you could break one of those out while a dude is sleeping because generally they're made of that steel material and as soon as you met, you take it out of the container.

[Caller/Listener 3]

Some of them are like.

[Caller/Listener 1]

Are you talking about the ones that you would measure like an inseam with that are soft?

[Caller/Listener 3]

Yeah, yeah.

[Caller/Listener 1]

I'm thinking like a construction guy. It's all steel.

[Caller/Listener 2]

One of those old school ones that unfolds.

[Caller/Listener 1]

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