The Bert Show — "Vault: Do You Regret Having A Second Child?"
Date: January 16, 2026
Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, plus callers)
Main Theme:
A candid, real, and humorous discussion about whether parents ever truly regret having a second child, the personal and relational challenges involved, and the deep emotions parents experience when making family size decisions.
Episode Overview
This episode centers around co-host Bill's personal dilemma: whether he and his partner Stacy should have a second child. Stacy’s difficult first pregnancy, their son's early birth, and current family dynamics fuel a lively roundtable with listeners calling in to share their perspectives on growing a family. The hosts openly discuss the emotional complexities, societal expectations, and real-life challenges (and joys) tied to adding another child to the household.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Bill’s Family Planning Struggle (00:02–03:31)
- Bill shares his longing for a second child but notes Stacy’s hesitancy due to her difficult first pregnancy and concerns over time and emotional demands.
- "Everything he [Hayden] does to me is just so fun and so funny, and I have found more love in my heart over the last two and a half years than I even knew I had in me." (00:24)
- Major tension: The fear of inviting more hardship versus the regret of never having tried.
2. Parent Regret: Myth or Reality? (00:50–03:31)
- Bill references advice from friends: Most don’t regret having a second child, but many regret not having one.
- "I've never met anybody that regretted having that second child." (01:35)
3. Sibling Perspective & The Value of Companionship (03:31–04:54)
- Caller 1 confidently advocates for siblings, emphasizing the unique bond and lifelong companionship.
- "It’s a relationship like none other in my life… I would want that for my children." (03:36)
- Christy and the group jokingly note siblings' ability to "compare notes" about their parents, lightening the conversation.
4. Honest Parental Experiences: The Challenging Second Child (05:01–06:14)
- Caller 2 admits her second child was far more challenging than the first, while expressing deep love and no regret.
- "Had we had her first, there would never have been a second." (05:07)
- "She was a difficult baby… but had she been born first, we just wouldn’t have done the second." (05:25)
- Highlights the unpredictability of each child’s temperament, and its impact on family dynamics.
5. Changing Family Dynamics and Strain (06:29–08:32)
- Bill discusses fears of a challenging child upending the family balance, referencing stories of “hell children” placing a strain on relationships.
- He observes that these decisions are revisited anxiously before each child.
- Host: "It's almost as if parents have this… stress over the decision to have a child, which you should because it's a huge decision." (06:42)
6. Expanding Beyond Two: The "Outnumbering" Phenomenon (07:07–08:05)
- Bill (Caller): Adds a comic note, stating he regrets the third child, not the second.
- "Once the kids outnumber the parents, it's a losing battle." (07:18)
- Encourages having at least a second, arguing that multiple children reveal the uniqueness in each one.
7. Personal Philosophies & Birth Order (08:05–08:58)
- Christy discusses how second children often develop divergent personalities, which can be both challenging and healthy for independence and household balance.
8. Special Needs & Strained Relationships (09:13–10:47)
- Jessica: Brutally honest about her special needs child, highlighting the increased strain on a marriage and daily life.
- "I would not give him back for the world. But it is extremely hard to have a special needs child." (09:29)
- Bill expresses empathy, noting the visible strain on families dealing with such challenges.
9. Blended Families & Retrospective Honesty (11:11–11:57)
- Caller 3: Shares the unique challenge of having an “extra” child much younger than their siblings, candidly admitting some regret:
- "I would not take a million dollars for him, but I wouldn't give a nickel for another one." (11:42)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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Bill: "Every time he does something really cool or we have a moment, I say to Stacy, how can we not want to do this again? This is so awesome." (00:27)
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Caller 1: “...the special relationship [with my brother]... I would want that for my children.” (03:36)
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Caller 2: “Had we had her first, there would never have been a second.” (05:07)
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Jessica: “I would not give him back for the world. But it is extremely hard to have a special needs child.” (09:29)
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Caller 3: “I would not take a million dollars for him, but I wouldn't give a nickel for another one.” (11:42)
Noteworthy Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:02: Bill introduces his family planning dilemma
- 01:35: Bill reflects on the lack of regret among parents with a second child
- 03:31: Caller 1's heartfelt sibling testimonial
- 05:07: Caller 2’s honest account of a challenging second child
- 07:18: Bill (Caller) regrets the third child, not the second
- 09:29: Jessica shares on special needs and family strain
- 11:42: Caller 3’s humorous and real blended family perspective
Tone and Style
In classic Bert Show fashion, this episode maintains a mix of candor, humor, and heartfelt reflection. The hosts and callers keep the conversation lively, real, and sometimes self-deprecating, ensuring the discussion is accessible and resonant for anyone who's pondered growing their family.
Summary Takeaway
The episode offers a nuanced, multi-faceted view on the question, “Do you regret having a second child?” While the answer is almost universally “no,” the truth is layered: second (or third) children bring both unexpected joy and unique challenges. The journey isn’t easy, and the decision requires soul-searching—but, as the show’s guests and hosts reveal, the love shared in a growing family can outweigh the hardest moments.
