Vault: Do You Tell Your Dad His Wife Is Cheating Or Stay Out Of It?

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Vault: Do You Tell Your Dad His Wife Is Cheating Or Stay Out Of It?"

The Bert Show | April 14, 2026

Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, The Bert Show tackles a sensitive and complex listener dilemma: Should you tell your father if you discover your mother is cheating, or should you stay out of it? The show features Bert, several co-hosts, and listener "Stephanie," who calls in with her real-life predicament. Through candid conversation, the hosts, Stephanie, and other listeners unpack the emotional burdens, ethical questions, and tricky family dynamics at play. Multiple callers share their own stories and advice, making for a diverse, empathetic, and at times humorous discussion.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stephanie's Dilemma: Discovering Parental Infidelity

• Stephanie (caller, 20 years old) explains she is certain her mom is cheating again, referencing past behavior and recent suspicious actions (03:34, 02:44).
  • Suspicious signs: secretive phone calls, deleting call logs and texts, and a change in family dynamics.
  • Stephanie feels burdened knowing more about her parents’ relationship than her younger brother or even her dad (04:53).
• Stephanie’s Anger & Emotional Strain:
  • "I'm so angry." (03:37, Stephanie)
  • She describes a deteriorating relationship with her mom since the first incident and a growing closeness to her dad because of her mom's actions (04:20-04:50).
  • Stephanie is also worried about her 17-year-old brother having to live amid this family tension (10:27).

2. The Moral Dilemma: Tell or Stay Silent?

• The hosts and callers debate whether Stephanie should confront her mother, inform her father, or try to stay out of it.
• Ethical Burden:
  • "That's a tough thing to burn your daughter with." (02:19, Host)
  • "That's a burden on you that shouldn't be there." (04:01, Caller)
• The hosts acknowledge every scenario puts Stephanie in a painful spot, with no easy answers.

3. Listeners Share Personal Experiences & Advice

• Several listeners call in with similar stories of parental infidelity, offering a range of approaches:
  • Confront the Parent:
    • "I guess you could try and confront the mom, but she's gonna do…what she wants to do." (06:26, Susan)
  • Tell the Other Parent:
    • "I think you should tell your dad..." (07:15, Jennifer/Caller 4)
    • One caller describes confronting their cheating dad, which directly ended the marriage (11:02, Keisha/Caller 3).
  • Take Action in Other Ways:
    • Discusses checking cell phone records or giving an ultimatum—"If she doesn't admit it to your dad, then you're going to go to your dad." (09:59, Caller 5)
• Some callers detail more extreme reactions (shooting BB guns at the new boyfriend’s windows) (07:26), which prompts both laughter and concern from the hosts.
  • "You are like a redneck with infidelities. Like a gremlin with water." (07:32, Caller 2)

4. The Importance of Evidence

• The hosts point out a crucial difference: Stephanie lacks concrete proof, unlike some other callers, leading to a potential “he said, she said” standoff if she confronts her mom (08:55, Host).
• Suggestions include checking detailed phone records—though her mom may have taken steps to hide evidence (09:43, Stephanie).

5. Emotional Consequences & Moving Forward

• Stephanie voices worries about causing family rupture and about her brother being left behind in the aftermath (10:27).
  • "What I'm really worried about... is my brother, dealing with all of this mess." (10:27, Stephanie)
• Some support guiding her to honest communication:
  • "Go to your mom and say, this is what I'm having to deal with right now. And how do you want to handle it?... the burden needs to be put back on your parents and off of you." (12:54, Caller 1)
• Hosts emphasize there are no clear answers and encourage Stephanie to trust her own judgment, offer to check in with her in a few weeks (12:39, Host).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Stephanie:
  • "I am. I'm so angry." (03:37)
  • "I Feel bad that I know this and he doesn't. And, like, when I'm talking to him, it makes himself feel bad." (04:53)
  • "This is gonna be real hard, you know, you don't want us medal in their problem." (13:12)
• Host (on the burden):
  • "That's a tough thing to burn your daughter with." (02:19)
  • "You must be so angry at your mom right now." (03:35)
• Callers:
  • "You are like a redneck with infidelities. Like a gremlin with water." (07:32, Caller 2)
  • "If her mom's going to be a child and go behind somebody's back with infidelity, you tell your mom that you overheard a conversation, and if she doesn't admit it to your dad, then you're going to go to your dad… give her an ultimatum." (09:59, Caller 5)
• Host:
  • "I think if it's me, I probably end up going to my mom and saying, look, you got to do something about this. I know what's going on. So how do you want to handle this? I put it in mom's court." (11:48)
  • "I wish we had more concrete good luck." (12:39)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:13] Stephanie's Call Begins—context and setup
• [02:44] Stephanie describes discovering signs of cheating
• [03:37] Stephanie's emotional reaction
• [04:53] Stephanie reflects on her guilt in talking with her dad
• [05:15] Caller Susan shares a similar story, offers advice
• [07:15] Another caller insists Stephanie should tell her dad
• [08:55] Discussion on the need for proof
• [10:27] Stephanie expresses concerns for her brother
• [11:48] Host suggests confronting the mom
• [12:39] Hosts acknowledge the lack of a clear answer and wrap-up advice

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Summary & Takeaways

The Bert Show episode offers an honest, multidimensional look at the emotional fallout of parental infidelity from the perspective of grown children. While some advocate for transparency and truth-telling, others express fear of family breakdown or concern for siblings. The hosts and callers handle the subject with empathy, wit, and realism, ultimately admitting there may not be a right answer—but that the burden isn't fair for the kids to carry alone. Stephanie leaves the conversation still facing a tough choice, but with the reassurance that she’s not alone, and that whatever decision she makes, her feelings are valid.

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If you’re dealing with similar issues, this episode brings support and recognition, if not resolution, to a deeply difficult family situation.

Transcript

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[Susan]

Get it.

[Commercial Voiceover]

The bird show.

[Host]

I think we will probably know in the first 10 seconds of this call here how to better handle the advice because I have no idea how old

[Co-host]

she is, but the voice disguiser makes everybody sound 12. So we have to ask.

[Host]

Good morning, Stephanie. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Stephanie]

Hi, good morning.

[Host]

Good morning. Hey, Stephanie, can we ask you right off the gate how old you are?

[Stephanie]

I am 20 years old.

[Host]

20 years old.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Host]

Okay. And you're gonna have to speak up a little bit because the voice disguiser brings your voice down.

[Stephanie]

Okay.

[Host]

So what's up with moms here?

[Stephanie]

Well, she's messing around. I'm so sorry.

[Caller 2]

And you're 100% sure of that?

[Stephanie]

Yes.

[Co-host]

How do you know?

[Stephanie]

Well, at first it was like, you know, I know that she's just being different. And since she's done it before and she has already told me about it, I could pick up the signals faster now than I could before.

[Host]

Okay, let's use this for our jumping off point for a second here. All right, so as fact, she's had an affair on your dad before and she confessed to you about it, or did you catch her?

[Stephanie]

Well, there was a big ordeal happening and, you know, my dad tripped out and he left and. And she flat out told me, if he wants to know, this is what I'm doing. But she didn't tell him.

[Susan]

She just told me.

[Host]

Okay, that's a tough thing to burn your daughter with.

[Stephanie]

She just plain out told me and I was like. Like I was just quiet and I was like, okay, I already knew. And she was like, well, how did you know? I'm like, I could just. You were just acting different and I just. I could tell you know, I'm. When I was in high school, I know when people are cheating on people, you just see those signals, and you're

[Host]

starting to see those signals again here.

[Caller 2]

What would be. Can you give us a for example signal that. That you've. You've noticed lately that was similar to what she did before?

[Stephanie]

Well, she gets on the phone and talks to somebody, doesn't say any names, and then immediately as she gets off the phone, she deletes her call. And it's the number she dials. It's not a number that's saved onto her phone.

[Caller 2]

You mean she dials that, goes back and deletes it out of her pending calls or whatever.

[Stephanie]

She also deletes text messages and stuff.

[Co-host]

Do you live with both your parents?

[Stephanie]

Yes, I do.

[Co-host]

Okay, so you see it in the house and in the car and wherever else?

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Co-host]

Do you think your dad already knows?

[Stephanie]

No, because my dad. If my dad knew, we would know, because my dad will not keep his mouth shut about it.

[Host]

You must be so angry at your mom right now.

[Stephanie]

I am. I'm so angry.

[Host]

So I guess the advice that we're looking for here is if you're 20 years old and you know one of your parents is having an affair, what do you do about it? Do you go to the parent that's having the affair? Do you go to the parent that's not having the affair? I mean, what do you do?

[Caller 2]

And it's important to know that she lives with them.

[Host]

Yeah. 404,741,Q100. What's that?

[Caller 1]

I'm sorry. I just said. That's so unfair. It's like Bert said earlier. That's a burden on you that shouldn't be there, you know?

[Co-host]

And I'm sorry if you told us. All right.

[Caller 3]

Do you.

[Co-host]

Do you have any siblings?

[Stephanie]

Yes, I do. I have one brother.

[Advertiser]

Is he older or younger?

[Stephanie]

He's younger.

[Host]

What is your relationship like with your mom?

[Stephanie]

Well, it used to be very good till the first time, and it's just completely changed. Like, I talked to her, but I don't have the same kind of relationship with her, and I really don't tell her much of anything.

[Co-host]

Mm.

[Stephanie]

And, like, we don't really talk as much.

[Co-host]

And what about with your dad?

[Stephanie]

My dad. Well, my dad. Me and my dad never really had that father daughter relationship, but now it's like we're being a little bit more close because I don't talk to my mom anymore.

[Host]

So her infidelity is actually bonding you with your father more.

[Stephanie]

Mm. I Feel bad that I know this and he doesn't. And, like, when I'm talking to him, it makes himself feel bad.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Stephanie]

Because I'm talking to him, and it's like he doesn't know what's happening. And I do, and it hurts.

[Host]

Here's Susan, who wants to be on the voice disguiser also. Hey, Susan. Go ahead.

[Stephanie]

Hey.

[Susan]

I've been through the same thing. If you know that your mom is cheating, I think your dad has an inkling about it. I mean, they're going to do what

[Stephanie]

they're going to do.

[Susan]

I've been through the same thing for a long time. My dad was cheating on my mom. He tried to play, you know, the mind games that, you know. You know, she didn't trust him or whatever. But one day I called up his cell phone and I heard him having sex with somebody. I ran upstairs, I gave my mom the phone because he tried to cut the phone off, but we could still hear him rush down because they're separated to his apartment and busted him. And, you know, he felt really cheap about it, but, you know, he's still gonna do what he's gonna do. And I've always felt when I was a child that he was cheating, you know, and you can't. Once a cheater, always a cheater. They really don't care, you know? And he'd go back and forth between my mom and this other woman, you know, and it really doesn't matter. They're selfish, and, you know, they're a liar. And I do feel closer to my mom because of it. And I. I don't really trust my dad anymore. I don't think she does.

[Host]

Either she should tell her dad or she should confront the mom.

[Susan]

I would. I mean, I guess you could try and confront the mom, but she's gonna do. She's gonna continue to do what she wants to do. I mean, what can you do? Can you say to your dad, you know, I could never really get through to my mom. She's still gonna, you know, feel that there's some type of hope for their relationship when there really isn't. And that's the other only reason that I confronted him the way that I did, because I thought, okay, now finally she can see the type of person that he is.

[Co-host]

Stephanie, what do you think is going to be your mom's reaction if you go to her and tell her?

[Stephanie]

You know, I don't. I have no clue. She'll probably just deny it, deny it, deny it, and then just. She. I don't know. I really have no idea.

[Host]

Hey, Jennifer, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 4]

I think you should tell your dad,

[Caller 3]

because my mom cheated on my dad

[Caller 5]

before, and she ended up moving us

[Susan]

in with this guy, and we broke them up.

[Caller 3]

We terrorized the crap out of him.

[Caller 5]

We shot his windows out with BB guns.

[Caller 3]

Oh, Lord, we just did everything we could to break them up.

[Caller 2]

You are like a redneck with infidelities. Like a gremlin with water.

[Host]

I don't really know what that means.

[Caller 2]

That little thing you fired up, get it wet and it loses its mind.

[Caller 1]

Your feet a gremlin after midnight.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Host]

Hey, Tasha, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 4]

Hi. I'm kind of in the same situation, but the difference is my mother actually had to move out of state to get a job, and it happened out there. And when she came back, I found videos on her cell phone.

[Stephanie]

Oh.

[Caller 4]

So then she. I confronted her about it before I confronted my dad, and she swore she would stop and come to find out when I was looking for something. I found another cell phone because I. When I found that on our cell phone bill the first time, I told her that I was going to be watching her. I'm going to be making sure that she wasn't doing this in line about it, that I was watching the cell phone bill and that if I caught it, I was going to tell. So she swore she'd stop. Well, she just went and got another cell phone and did it back again. So I let it go. But I've. My sister tells me not to tell. You know, everybody just tells me, don't say anything, because, you know, they're my dad's 51 and my mom's like 40 something. So they're gonna do what they want to do.

[Host]

And here's a major difference, though. Here's a major difference. Like, Stephanie, you don't really have any proof that your mom is screwing around. So if you go to your mom and you say, look, I know you're screwing around, she's gonna say, no, I'm not. You're gonna say, yes, you are. And she's gonna say, no, I'm. I'm not. Then you're gonna end up. But you've got nothing. At least the others unfortunately, had videos or emails or texts.

[Caller 2]

Well, she does have something. Like if you're making those. If she's making those phone calls, even if you delete the number out of the phone, it's still on the bill. If you get, you know, you can get a detailed. You can get a.

[Stephanie]

When that whole thing happened last time she went and she was like, well, I'm tired of your father being all nosy and everything. And she changed her billing from paper to electronic so the bill doesn't come to the house.

[Caller 2]

But it still exists. So maybe you just.

[Stephanie]

Dad can't get a hold of it because she's got a different password on it because she pays the bill.

[Commercial Voiceover]

That's what's in her name.

[Co-host]

While that's going on, he's got to know.

[Host]

You would think, right?

[Co-host]

He's got to know something is up.

[Host]

Let's take, let's rattle through these here real quick. We can only take a couple more. Lisa.

[Caller 5]

Hey, this is what you do. You said that she has no proof. So I mean, if her mom's going to be a child and go behind somebody's back with infidelity, you tell your mom that you over heard a conversation, you know she's cheating and if she doesn't admit it to your dad, then you're going to go to your dad, give her an ultimatum and she's going to be a child, then act the same way she does about it.

[Host]

You're scared of what he might do though, right?

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Host]

You think he's going to split and then it's all on you, which it really would not be.

[Stephanie]

Yeah, it's not. That's not. What I'm really worried about is that, you know, I'm 20 years old, I'm not going to be living here more any more longer. But my brother, deal with it. He'll be around all of this mess. I don't want to do that with for him.

[Caller 1]

How old is he?

[Stephanie]

He's 17, but a couple more years probably.

[Host]

Yeah, I wish there was one call coming in more than the other, but you know, they're all sort of separated. Tell them, don't tell them. Tell her, don't tell her. Hey, Keisha, good morning.

[Caller 3]

Hey, good morning guys.

[Caller 5]

How are you?

[Caller 3]

Welcome to the show, by the way.

[Host]

Thank you.

[Caller 3]

I suggest that to the caller she should tell her dad what's going on, what happened to me. Basically, I was a child of divorce because of this whole cheating situation where my dad cheated on my mom. The doctors know what's coming to the house. I confronted him about it, come to find out that the young lady he was having the affair with got pregnant. So I actually have a sister that's now 17 from, you know, a non wedlock marriage basically. So I suggest you tell the kids, you never know. What, you know, you don't know if your mom is wearing protection, yes or no. And you might hurt your younger siblings to know that, you know, your mom is out there doing this. Because really and truly, it did hurt my younger siblings because I have two younger brothers that's younger than me.

[Host]

I think if it's me, I probably end up going to my mom and saying, look, you got to do something about this. I know what's going on. So how do you want to handle this? I put it in mom's court.

[Stephanie]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

You know, there's a. If I don't know the thought because I have no, you know, experience with this, but is it. Is it necessary to have to go and confront it direct on like that when you said that she has no proof? Or just go to the dad that you're closer with and say, I'm concerned about Yalls relationship. Is everything okay? That way you can tap into whether he has an idea that there's a

[Caller 2]

problem and what if he does the right thing that a dad should probably do and go, yeah, everything's fine. Nothing you need to be concerned with.

[Co-host]

I think she's got to do something because she's obvious at the point where she's seeking out our advice. So it's like this bubbling thing constantly going inside of chart. I don't think you can do nothing. I think you have to do something. Talk to one parent or the other or a counselor or something like that, because you can't keep it the way it is.

[Host]

Yeah, Stephanie, it's. All the calls are split. I wish that it was 75, 25, but everybody is sort of saying everybody's got different opinions on it. I mean, you're on your own. You're gonna have to trust your own bet on this one. Sorry. I wish we had more concrete good luck.

[Caller 1]

And I'm sorry that you feel the burden of not only this, but protecting your little brother. I mean, everything is on you. And there's a part of me. It's like, just be honest. Like, go to your mom and say, this is what I'm having to deal with right now. And how do you want to handle it? It's because the burden needs to be put back on your parents and off of you, you know?

[Stephanie]

Yeah. This is gonna be real hard, you know, you don't want us medal in their problem.

[Host]

Sure.

[Caller 1]

But it. It's your problem, too, now, so you're not meddling.

[Host]

And let's check back with you a couple weeks, find out how everything went. Okay.

[Stephanie]

All right.

[Susan]

Thank you.

[Host]

All right. Good luck. Bye. Bye.

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