Vault: Does she have body image issues?

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Does She Have Body Image Issues?

Date: June 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the realities of body image issues and disordered eating, especially among women. The hosts bring on their intern Lauren to discuss her experience and are joined by Allison Cross, an expert from Ridgeview Institute, who provides insight into the spectrum of eating disorders and the signs to watch for. The conversation is earnest and relatable, blending real listener stories, professional advice, and honest self-reflection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Raising Concerns About Body Image (01:32–02:42)

• The segment begins with the hosts expressing concern for intern Lauren after repeatedly noting her preoccupation with food, working out, and body image in her weekly content submissions.
  • Host 2: “A lot of the things that Lauren sent had to be workout or food or very image conscious related. And it seemed like it all stemmed from some sort of insecurities.” (01:56)
• Lauren admits to having a history of disordered eating but feels she’s improved, though acknowledges “I guess I have a slight one now.” (03:00)

2. Understanding the Spectrum of Eating Disorders (03:29–04:44)

• Allison Cross explains that eating disorders are not black-and-white; they range in severity and are common due to societal pressures.
  • Allison Cross: “There are lots of levels to it… It’s kind of like the social atmosphere of our culture for women just to be concerned with outer beauty and everything.” (03:43)
• The difference between unhealthy habits and a diagnosable disorder often comes down to obsession and the toll it takes on daily life.
  • Allison Cross: "How much time are you putting into this? Are you thinking about what you’re going to eat for your next meal all day long?” (04:29)

3. The Role of Media and Early Socialization (04:49–05:29)

• Cross recounts how her young daughter internalized harmful beauty standards from the media, highlighting the early onset of these issues.
  • Allison Cross: “Even my three—well, she's four now—but my three-year-old last year wasn’t seeing a lot of women of color that were being identified as beautiful.” (04:49)
  • Memorable moment: The mention of Princess Tiana as a positive influence.

4. When to Seek Help (05:29–06:47)

• Guidance is offered for listeners unsure whether their struggles warrant professional help. Cross strongly recommends reaching out if there is any concern.
  • Allison Cross: “If you are not at peace with food...go and you talk to somebody about it because it is the deadliest mental illness that you can possibly have.” (05:48)
• The myth that visible thinness (like pronounced collarbones) is the only warning sign is addressed.
  • Allison Cross: “You cannot judge a person by how they look.” (06:47)

5. Eating Disorder Behavior in Real Life (07:30–08:31)

• Hosts and Cross discuss everyday warning signs, such as avoiding meals and making excuses not to eat in social settings, illustrated by an anecdote about a college friend.

6. "Ed"—The Personification of Eating Disorders (07:56–08:31)

• Cross introduces “Ed,” a shorthand for eating disorder, to describe how insidious and manipulative these disorders can be.
  • Allison Cross: “He’s like the boyfriend that everyone tells you not to date, but yet you kind of protect the relationship anyway.” (07:56)

7. Call-In Segment: Ashley’s Story (08:31–13:04)

• A listener named Ashley calls in, seeking help for her ongoing struggle with an eating disorder, now resurfaced after years of remission.
  • She explains her husband is unsupportive and skeptical of therapy or support groups, making recovery harder.
  • Ashley also feels out of place at support meetings due to the age difference.
• Cross advises Ashley to prioritize her own recovery, seek more intensive support, and not let the lack of spousal understanding hold her back.
  • Allison Cross: “You are worthy to go in and to get some more help...your husband may or may not come along and join you in that, but at least you will have a team of people behind you...” (10:54)

8. The Harm in Compliments on Thinness (12:26–12:59)

• Lauren shares how even well-meaning comments about being thin can reinforce unhealthy behaviors.
  • Lauren: “It feeds your ego when someone compliments you. So of course you're gonna be like, oh, I should keep doing what I do.” (12:28)

9. Resources and Final Thoughts (13:04–13:23)

• Cross provides resources and emphasizes that eating disorders are preventable and help is available.
  • Allison Cross: “I want them to know that there's help available, that this is absolutely preventable, which is what we do through Project Authentic Beauty.” (13:13)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Social Pressures:
  “It's kind of like the social atmosphere of our culture for women just to be concerned with outer beauty and everything.”
  — Allison Cross (03:43)

• On Seeking Help:
  “If you are not at peace with food…go and you talk to somebody about it because it is the deadliest mental illness that you can possibly have.”
  — Allison Cross (05:48)

• On Eating Disorder Personification:
  “Ed is so crafty…he’s like the boyfriend that everyone tells you not to date, but yet you kind of protect the relationship anyway.”
  — Allison Cross (07:56)

• On Compliments as Triggers:
  “It feeds your ego when someone compliments you. So of course you're gonna be like, oh, I should keep doing what I do.”
  — Lauren (12:28)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Interview with Lauren Starts: 01:32
• Explanation of Eating Disorder Spectrum: 03:29
• Impact of Media and Early Childhood: 04:49
• Guidance on When to Seek Help: 05:29
• Warning Signs and Myths: 06:47
• Caller Ashley Joins: 08:31
• Advice to Ashley: 10:54
• On Harmful Compliments: 12:26
• Resources and Conclusion: 13:04

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Resources Mentioned

• Ridgeview Institute: ridgeviewinstitute.com
• Project Authentic Beauty: bodybeautybravery.com

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Tone:
The conversation is warm, empathetic, and forthright, balancing serious advice with encouraging, peer-level support. Both the hosts and Allison Cross create a space where honesty about one’s struggles is normalized and met with compassion rather than judgment.

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This comprehensive discussion is invaluable to anyone navigating concerns about body image, eating, and self-worth or seeking to support someone else on their journey.

Transcript

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[Allison Cross]

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[Host 1]

It was a couple of days ago that we had intern Lauren on. And the more we talked to Lauren, the more we started to get concerned that man, she's got like this quote unquote unhealthy relationship with food and I

[Host 2]

think very perfectly PC.

[Host 1]

I think Jen was sort of, you know, saw the red flags in a lot of different things that Lauren had said over the last couple of months.

[Host 2]

Yeah, our interns contribute on the air and participate with us and so they send us topics every week of what's going on in their life and they participate just like and it helps them sort of determine what's gonna be compelling content and a lot of the things that Lauren sent had to be workout or food or very image conscious related. And it seemed like it all stemmed from some sort of insecurities going on there. So we asked her to come on and share and she was very open to that.

[Host 1]

She was very impressive.

[Ashley]

She was.

[Host 2]

Thank you for doing that.

[Lauren]

No problem.

[Host 2]

And took the quiz on the air and that kind of thing. And so what we determined after that was that there's definitely something there. We don't know how far along or what it definitely is with Lauren, but she's admitted that she's got some insecurities when it comes to her body image and sort of some obsessions with working out.

[Host 1]

Since we did that with you and you took that quiz, and I don't really recommend that as like the last word for anything, going to the Internet for anything, but it was the first one we found and the first one we gave you, and it did indicate that there's some stuff going on there. Have you had any. Any chance to like, think over what we were talking about?

[Lauren]

I mean, I definitely gave a lot of thought to it, but I think. I don't know, the state that I'm in now, I think I don't really have that much of a problem. I agree that I totally had a disorder back then, but now I feel like I've come. I don't know, I guess I got more smart with it. I don't know. I've, like, read more about the mishaps you could have with an eating disorder. So I don't know. I guess I have a slight one now, but I don't think it's as much as back then.

[Host 1]

Hey, Allison Cross is here and she works with women and girls with eating disorders at Ridgeview Institute. Is there any. Are there different levels of eating disorders or if you have a slight eating disorder, then you have a eating disorder, right?

[Allison Cross]

Absolutely. There are lots of levels to it. And I mean, Lauren, you're in good company with 15 million other women out there. It's kind of like the social atmosphere of our culture for women just to be concerned with outer beauty and everything. But with an eating disorder, it's an attempt to diagnose differences of how we act out with food and with our body. And it's just an idea, it's just an attempt. There's a lot of women out there that don't have a full blown eating disorder yet. They still have very serious issues to deal with. They have a lot of similar obsessions, which is how I got into doing what I do with Project Authentic beauty.

[Host 1]

What is the difference? I mean, what are the definite red flags between you having a problem or a unhealthy relationship with food and you just having a straight up eating disorder?

[Allison Cross]

Well, I think a lot of it has to do with just the obsessions that you have in your daily life and how much of that is taking your life energy. Like how much time are you putting into this? Are you thinking about what you're going to eat for your next meal? All day long?

[Host 1]

It feels like to me, like when we talk to the women about this, this is all they talk about. This is all any woman thinks about.

[Allison Cross]

Well, duh. I mean, look at, look at our media and how it just, it all points to outer beauty. I mean, that's what little girls pick up on. Even my three, well, she's four now, but my three year old last year wasn't seeing a lot of women of color that were being identified as beautiful. And at three years old she told me, mommy, people with brown skin aren't pretty. And it horrified me because that's not something that we teach in our home. So thank God for Princess Tiana that came out and now it's reversed that. But that was a teachable moment for us to go in and say, no, honey, you know, and for my husband especially to go and identify all diversity of beauty all around us.

[Host 1]

I guess what I'm trying to get at is if there are women listening right now and they know that they have this unhealthy relationship with food, which sounds like 90% of women have, what is the difference between I have to see somebody for my eating disorder or I have to see somebody just for my unhealthy relationship with food?

[Allison Cross]

Well, I think if you feel like you have an issue, then definitely go see somebody. If you are not at peace with food, I mean, normally if you like have a cavity, you go to your dentist, right? You don't think you're going to take extra calcium and it's going to fix itself. No brainer. You go and you talk to somebody about it because it is the deadliest mental illness that you can possibly have. And if you think about that, there's, you know, the diagnostic manual, it's so huge and there's all kinds of issues that you can have in there. Yet the eating disorder is the most deadly thing that you can have. And so if you even think that there's an issue, it's worth it to go out there and deceive somebody. What are the signs and symptoms of somebody you may know who have an eating disorder. What are the signs you look for to get them help?

[Host 2]

Other than collarbones.

[Ashley]

Right. Other than what?

[Host 2]

Because sometimes collarbones that are popping out. Because to me, that's always a clear

[Allison Cross]

sign if a woman. You can't really.

[Host 2]

Because that's so unnatural. As soon as you see that, it's like, oh, something's going on there.

[Allison Cross]

Yeah, yeah. People Photoshop that because they feel like that sells magazines to see collarbones like that. Signs and symptoms. Well, you cannot judge a person by how they look. Right, right. So, you know, I think. And this is a great example, you know, you, Lauren, you were really open and honest about what was going on with you. And, you know, maybe in your own way, that was a way of asking for help. Because here we are in a very public way, talking about your lifestyle and your obsessions. That's one thing to look for, if they're willing to talk about it. If they avoid sitting down and having meals with you, if you feel like they're extra body conscious.

[Host 2]

I had a friend who used to always say she had just eaten and talk about how much she had eaten that day before she would come and hang out with the rest of us that were, like, going to. This was in college. We would all be going to Chili's or whatever, like, our big night out, and we were all going to gorge and have a bunch of food and have fun. And she would always talk about, oh, my gosh, this is how much I already ate today. And so she would order nothing.

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[Allison Cross]

Ed is so crafty. That's what we call him at Ridgeview. It's Ed eating disorder. Yeah. He lies, he manipulates, and, you know, it's actually Ed. I wanted to help you guys understand it just a little bit more that he's like a best friend in a lot of ways. So it's really, really hard to give him up. He's like the boyfriend that everyone tells you not to date, but yet you kind of protect the relationship anyway. And a lot of times he helps you deal with really uncomfortable feelings and emotions. And a lot of times that's the way you express yourself.

[Host 1]

Wow. Here is Ashley. Good morning. You want to be on the Voice Disguiser? And you are?

[Ashley]

Hi. How are you?

[Host 1]

Good, thank you.

[Ashley]

Good. My question is, I've suffered from. I'm 28, and I've suffered this from about 11 years, and I was actually at Ridgeview when I was in high school. Great programs. They're great there. But my dilemma now Is after, gosh, almost like eight years of lying dormant, it's come back. And I'm married and I have two children now. And I've tried to discuss this with my husband, but he doesn't think it's an issue and he won't go to the support meeting and he doesn't believe in psychologists and going and telling people about our problems and how talking about our marriage and our children and our life will help me. So my question, I've actually come to the EDA meetings over at Ridgeview. Good. But I feel old. I'm 28 and there's all these 17 year olds there, and I feel like I have nothing in common. But my question to you is, what else can I do because we want to have another baby. It's affecting all of that stuff because I'm not gaining any weight. It's just, what else can I do other than see a psychologist?

[Allison Cross]

Well, I wonder how much are you acting out? Like you said, it's come back. I'm wondering how much of your life, I mean, really tell the truth. What's going on at home?

[Ashley]

I work out every day. I run about four miles a day. I cook for everybody. And then when it comes to time to eat, I gotta do the dishes, I gotta clean up the kitchen. And then next thing you know, the dinner is over and I'm done. I don't eat my kids and my 5 year old eats more than I do.

[Host 2]

But it's a symptom of something else. I think is what Allison is saying is that it's a symptom of, I don't know, maybe you're not happy in your marriage.

[Host 1]

Maybe you have a controlling husband.

[Host 2]

I don't know, maybe he likes to

[Allison Cross]

live on the surface.

[Ashley]

Oh, no.

[Host 2]

I don't know where they got that from.

[Allison Cross]

Well, I think that you have your answer. It's okay to know that it's come back because it is an upward spiral. And this is how you've dealt with things in the past. And Ed helped you, and now it feels like maybe he. He's helping you again, but you know better, and that's why you're calling today.

[Host 1]

What does she do, though? If you have somebody in your family that isn't supporting what you know is is going on, do you just go anyway? Do you hide it from him that she's getting treatment? What does she do?

[Allison Cross]

Not at all. Not at all. You are worthy to go in and to get some more help. Seeing somebody once a week, it doesn't sound like that's going to be enough for you right now. You need to go and you need to get the help that you need to get because you are worthy of that time and that space. And you know, your husband may or may not come along and join you in that, but at least you will have a team of people behind you, both professional and other sufferers that can stand with you and. And help you ask for the help that you need and to be assertive.

[Host 2]

Does your husband compliment your weight now?

[Ashley]

He thinks I'm beautiful. I mean, he's my husband. He's never going to say anything bad. He's never, ever said anything bad. But he doesn't. He's like, you're thin. You look great. He's like, you need to gain some weight. You're getting too skinny. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. I hear it. Yeah. But then I look down and I'm

[Allison Cross]

like, oh, God, yeah, he's talking to your Ed. And that's why this is not going to help. That's why you need something more right now.

[Host 1]

Some what?

[Allison Cross]

Something more.

[Host 1]

Something more. She said that when she goes to the meetings, there's Nothing except like 17 and 8. Your 18 year old is there.

[Allison Cross]

There's a lot of different ages there. And I encourage you to go anyway. Go anyway, because you belong. You are a part of that crowd. You don't need to fit into some kind of stereotype. This is no longer a high school fad. You know, we see women who are empty nesters, who are entering into retirement, developing eating disorders for the first time.

[Host 2]

Wow, Lauren, you're awfully quiet.

[Lauren]

Oh, I was just gonna say I do agree with her because if somebody tells you that you're really thin, it feeds your ego. So of course you're gonna be like, oh, wow, I should keep doing what I do and not, you know, not eat and then gain weight. So then he'll be like, oh, wow, you put a few pounds on. Like, it really feeds your ego when someone compliments you. So of course you're gonna be like, oh, I should keep doing what I do.

[Host 1]

But it doesn't sound like he's complimentary, says, you're really thin, you could use a couple extra.

[Lauren]

When someone told me, oh, you're really thin, then that fed my ego, like,

[Host 1]

wow, you didn't hear the second part of it that you need to put some pounds on?

[Lauren]

No, I was like, no, I don't need to put pounds on thin. So that's fine.

[Host 1]

Where can people find more information on Ridgeview? Ridgeviewinstitute?.com and what's the one thing that before you get you want everybody to know about eating disorders?

[Allison Cross]

I want them to know that there's help available, that this is absolutely preventable, which is what we do through Project Authentic Beauty. And you can learn more about that on bodybeautybravery.com okay, thank you.

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