Vault: Everyone's On Facebook. She Refuses. Here's Why.

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault Episode: “Everyone's On Facebook. She Refuses. Here's Why.”

Date: March 17, 2026
Cast: Bert, Jen Hobby, several unnamed female friends, callers

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on Jen Hobby’s steadfast refusal to join Facebook, despite mounting peer pressure from friends and colleagues. The Bert Show team discusses the pros and cons of social media—particularly Facebook—in the context of maintaining friendships, creating boundaries, and managing the anxiety and social obligations that platforms like Facebook often generate. The conversation unfolds with humor, relatable anecdotes, and some frank admissions about technology overwhelm and privacy.

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Key Discussion Points

Jen Hobby’s Facebook Abstinence

• Why Jen’s Not On Facebook

  • Jen reveals she’s been resisting joining Facebook, feeling like “the only person on the planet” not on the platform (00:51).
  • Her main reason: digital overwhelm. She already struggles to keep up with emails from listeners, work, and personal friends. “If I added one more thing like Facebook, it would just give me an anxiety attack.” (01:14)

• Social Out-of-the-Loop

  • Jen admits feeling left out: her group of close friends connect all day over Facebook, sharing photos and updates she doesn’t see (02:25, 03:31).
  • “I still feel like out of the loop with my closest friends and like, I don't see the most recent pictures of their kids and all that kind of stuff that they do on Facebook, which seems really awesome.” (03:31)

Pros and Cons of Joining Facebook

• The Excitement—and the Letdown

  • Bert likens signing up for Facebook to the “honeymoon period” of MySpace: “You’re uploading photos … and you love MySpace and Facebook and it loves you … and that lasts for about two weeks, and then it’s just a pain in the ass.” (02:02)

• Managing Privacy and Boundaries

  • The group discusses making private or even unsearchable Facebook accounts to limit exposure (03:53, 05:45, 08:59).
  • “There is a privacy setting where no one even can search your name and find you. There is that privacy thing on there.” (08:59, Unidentified Female Friend 2)

• Social Pressures and Facebook Etiquette

  • Not adding (or removing) friends can cause real-world tensions. “There are some people who will actually confront you on that in person.” (04:16, Unidentified Female Friend 1)
  • Story: “Traci did… I think I accidentally hit ignore. Accidentally. And she's really rattled by that.” (04:20)

• Photo Sharing and Tagging Concerns

  • Several hosts note privacy controls over photo visibility but also anxiety about unflattering tags by others.
  • “When you get tagged by other people in the photos, it’s like, you seriously tagged me on that? … And you untag it.” (09:21, Unidentified Female Friend 3)

• Reconnecting—For Better or Worse

  • Bert shares positive outcomes: rediscovering old photos and reconnecting with college friends (05:22).
  • But others warn sometimes there’s a reason you haven’t spoken in 20 years (06:07).

Facebook as Work, Social Tool, or Both

• Diverging Uses

  • Unidentified Female Friend 3: “My Facebook account is more to keep in touch with listeners faster… I don’t put personal photos on Facebook.” (05:06)
  • Bert: “I use it for both friends and listeners.” (05:22)

• Instant Messaging and Interruptions

  • Host complaints about Facebook chat: people know when you’re online, leading to constant interruptions.
  • Bert analogizes: “Every time I open up my door, you run out of your house and you go, ‘Hey, Bert.’ Every single time I walk out of my house.” (06:39)

Listener Suggestions

• Caller Advice

  • Caller suggests Jen make a low-engagement account: “You don’t have to upload pictures. You don’t have to chat. You don’t have to do any of that stuff. Whenever you talk to them and they say something like, ‘Oh, did you see my new pictures?’ Then you can just click on and log into your account, look at the pictures.” (07:59)

• Bet Joke

  • Crew jokes about a bet: “For 24 hours, the loser of the next bet has to do in real life everything that’s sent to them on Facebook.” (08:36)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Jen on Digital Overload:

  “If I added one more thing like Facebook, it would just give me an anxiety attack.” (01:14)

• Bert on Social Media Cycles:

  “You’re in the honeymoon period, and you love MySpace and Facebook, and it loves you, and everything… and then it’s just a pain in the ass.” (02:02)

• Friend on Real-Life Friendship:

  “I know it sounds old fashioned and everything, but I talk to them in person.” (03:24)

• Bert’s Neighborhood Analogy:

  “Every time I open up my door, you run out of your house and you go, ‘Hey, Bert.’ Every single time I walk out of my house.” (06:39)

• Friend on Tagged Photos:

  “When you get tagged by other people in the photos, it’s like, you seriously tagged me on that? Like, did you see how I looked in that picture?” (09:21)

• Bert on Privacy and Pictures:

  “You gotta be very careful about the pictures you upload also … I haven’t received more crap about anything in my life than I have this one picture.” (09:05)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:46 – The episode’s central question: why Jen refuses Facebook
• 01:14 – Jen describes her anxiety over managing yet another platform
• 02:02 – Bert’s “honeymoon period” social media explanation
• 03:31 – Jen’s fear of missing out on friends’ updates
• 04:16 – Social dilemmas when you don’t add friends back
• 05:22 – Bert shares positive experiences reconnecting with old friends
• 06:39 – Bert’s analogy about constant IM interruptions
• 07:59 – Caller’s pragmatic advice for minimal Facebook use
• 09:21 – Privacy and photo-tagging anxieties discussed

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Final Consensus

• The cast is divided:
  • Some recommend using Facebook selectively for maintaining close friendships and sharing photos.
  • Others warn of the pressure, distractions, and new forms of social awkwardness it introduces.
  • Jen remains “on the fence,” still daunted by concerns around privacy, anxiety, and information overload—even as she sees the benefits.

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Summary Judgment:
This candid, humorous episode of The Bert Show delves deep into the mixed realities of modern social networking—highlighting the tension between connection, privacy, and mental bandwidth in a way that many listeners will find both entertaining and relatable.

Transcript

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[Show Host]

hey, the birch Show.

[Bert]

So Jen Hobby is stubborn. She is digging in on this one, man. Digging in.

[Jen Hobby]

I have been so far, but my friends are chipping away at me. And what Bert's been talking about is, is that I'm not on Facebook. And I think I'm probably the only person on the planet.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

So where do you get your friends?

[Jen Hobby]

I know, like, in real life and stuff.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

How do you poke them? Like, what if you want to.

[Bert]

I think we know the answer to that.

[Jen Hobby]

That's a whole separate break. But, yeah, I just. I haven't joined it yet. I feel like sometimes in my life with, like, all the emails that we'll get from listeners that I'll try to get through and read and respond to, and the emails just in the work account that I'll try to get through and then my personal email account to keep up with my friends. Like, that's three already. I feel so overwhelmed by. I never can get back to everybody as soon as I would like to. There's so many things that go left unreturned, you know, in all three of those accounts, like, that I feel like if I added one more thing like Facebook, I would just give me an anxiety attack.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

How do you manage your Facebook, Bert?

[Bert]

Well, I'm on it every single day. I'm debt. Totally and completely dedicated it through. Through the interns.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Adding your friends.

[Bert]

I will go up and here's. It's. I think the same as MySpace. And you went through this period with MySpace where you're really excited about it and you're uploading photos and you're on it all the time. And you're in the honeymoon period, and you love MySpace and Facebook and it loves you, and everything it does is the best thing in the world. And everything you do, everybody loves you. And that lasts for about two weeks, and then it's just a pain in the ass.

[Jen Hobby]

Well, see, I'm thinking about It. And I was just discussing this, not last night, night before last, with a bunch of my close friends because I'm really out of the loop with them because my close knit group of girlfriends all communicate over Facebook all day long, you know, and they have seen each other's pictures that I haven't seen and all that kind of stuff.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

So stay at home, moms.

[Jen Hobby]

No, not necessarily. No. But people that are in front of

[Bert]

a computer, secretaries, they can be on your phone now. You can update it from your phone,

[Jen Hobby]

BlackBerry, all that kind of stuff. So I'm thinking about. I don't know. But I also am concerned that once I'm on there, it'd be hard to resist not adding everyone. But I think if I went on there, it would really be to stay closer with my close friends. Does that make sense? But I'm already close with them.

[Bert]

Do what Jeff does. He's got like four accounts.

[Unidentified Female Friend 2]

You can make two.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

You have a private account.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Yeah, but the problem is the private account, which I was all gung ho about, like Bert said. I even use that anymore because if they're really like, if they're close friends.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Like, I just. I know it sounds old fashioned and everything, but I talk to them in person.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah, that's what I do now. But I still feel like out of the loop with my closest friends and like, I don't see the most recent pictures of their kids and like all that kind of stuff that they do on Facebook, which seems really awesome. But if I went on there, it would have to be such a small group of people that would be on there because then I also feel like I don't want everybody in the whole world to see, like, all my pictures. And I don't know, you can make it private.

[Unidentified Female Friend 2]

And I think there's even one where you can actually set your page where nobody can even search for you. So you'll have to go and find all your friends first.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Here's the thing, though. Here's where you're gonna run into a problem is because I have encountered this. If you don't add someone as a friend, okay. Because they might think that they're closer to you than you think you're closer to them.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

There are some people who will actually confront you on that in person. Traci.

[Bert]

Traci did.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

I didn't add her once. I think I accidentally hit ignore. Accidentally. And she's really rattled by that.

[Bert]

Really?

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Well, now she won't add me. I'll send her a friend request and she ignores everyone.

[Craig]

Screw you.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

So I can't be friends with her. And I got a couple ninja kicks for her. How else am I supposed to pass her an icy cold beer?

[Unidentified Female Friend 2]

Or put a kid in her garden patch?

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Uh huh.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

Bad timing.

[Jen Hobby]

Never.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

Oh, the garden patch. Don't ever, ever, ever, ever guard patch.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Wendy, Just so you know, Scott already put a kid in a garden patch.

[Jen Hobby]

Yep.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

I just realized that this is absolutely, as soon as it was coming out of my mouth, ridiculous.

[Bert]

She goes to ideal image. She doesn't have a garden patch.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

I sent Madonna though a garden patch.

[Bert]

She obviously ignored it.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

But you can do with Facebook whatever, because you can have a private account and share photos just with those people. Because my Facebook account is more to keep in touch with than friends. I don't use my Facebook account for friends. I don't put personal photos on Facebook. I don't do any. I do, I don't do that. It's solely to communicate with the listeners faster.

[Bert]

I use it for both friends and listeners. Yeah, for both. And when I first signed on, people were all excited about, they were saying, oh, you're gonna reunite with old friends and stuff like that. And for the first couple of months it didn't happen. But the last couple of weeks it has and it's been pretty cool. Really? Yeah. Like I got pictures of me back in college and our old college apartment and yeah, it's been actually pretty cool the last couple of weeks.

[Unidentified Female Friend 2]

And with your picture things like you can set your pictures on who can see which pictures. Like you can set the pictures that you want your friends to see to just those specific friends, like so nobody else can view them.

[Jen Hobby]

I have so much anxiety surrounding Facebook.

[Bert]

You don't have time, don't do it.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

And some of those old friends, I mean, yeah, sometimes it's exciting, but sometimes it's like, oh my God, I didn't

[Bert]

like you back then. Why do you think I like you on the computer?

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

It's almost like with Jeff, they keep pressing you want, you know, hey, what's going on? Like, you know what, I haven't talked to you in 20 years. And there's a reason for that.

[Jen Hobby]

Well, and my friend said that there's now this Facebook IM chat where they can tell if you're looking at it unless you disable it.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Well, that's always.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

Yeah, they can tell when you're on. That's a little voyeuristic.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

You can turn that off.

[Bert]

I hate all. That's a whole other side subject. I hate all instant messaging because there are just some people that just don't know when to stop.

[Jen Hobby]

And they hit you up right every

[Bert]

single time that you sign on.

[Unidentified Female Friend 2]

Bing, isn't it?

[Bert]

My analogy is always like, okay, let's take this out of the computer world and put it into a neighborhood. Every time I open up my door, you run out of your house and

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

you go, hey, Bert.

[Jen Hobby]

Hi.

[Bert]

Every single time I walk out of my house.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Yes.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

That's a great analogy, because it scares me every time it pops up.

[Megan McCardell]

Oh.

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, my God.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

And just so you know, if you instant message me within three minutes of me logging on, every time I log on, I pass judgment on you.

[Jen Hobby]

Because you think they have nothing else to do.

[Bert]

What else are you doing?

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Right.

[Bert]

Absolutely.

[Jen Hobby]

So what do you guys say? Should I do it or should I not?

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

I think for you, if you do it, it's a private thing with just those friends that you feel out of touch with.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

If you're gonna do that, I say don't.

[Bert]

Jeff has a private account, so he could speak to that better than the rest of the. I like it for the show, and I like it for some of the friends that I have also. I like it. I'm a fan of it.

[Unidentified Female Friend 2]

I like it, too.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

I like it. But if you're gonna do it, do it for the show, because the private accounts.

[Jen Hobby]

I'm sorry. I already feel overwhelmed with that.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

See, that's what I'm saying.

[Megan McCardell]

She.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

She feels like, yes, it's. It's a lot to keep up with if you're trying to, you know, gear toward a lot of people. But if it's just like, a handful of friends, I think it would be easier again for picture sharing and to see their conversations throughout the day that you miss.

[Craig]

Hey, Craig.

[Bert]

Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hey, I've got a suggestion for you. So you're not overwhelmed with it, Just set up an account to where you have that, where you can just log in, and then you can look at their pictures. You don't have to upload pictures. You don't have to chat. You don't have to do any of that stuff. Whenever you talk to them and they say something like, oh, did you see my new pictures? Then you can just click on and log into your account, look at the pictures. That way you're caught up with everything.

[Jen Hobby]

That's a great idea.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

And what if somebody wants to send her a walk the plank request?

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

She hits ignore.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Can she still do that?

[Caller]

Whatever. Just catch up with them.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And if you want to send a picture, just put it your normal way. You can send them an email, I

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

think for 24 hours. The loser of the next bet for 24 hours have to do in real life every thing that's sent to them on Facebook.

[Bert]

So, like, I have to have a beer. I have to have a shot.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

A ninja kick.

[Bert]

I gotta get a ninja kick.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

I'm gonna send Bird a Jimmy kick.

[Bert]

I say go for it.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

You have to go into the garden at some point and put a little gnome in there.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Go to the garden patch. Request.

[Jen Hobby]

Yes.

[Unidentified Female Friend 2]

And there is a privacy setting where no one even can search your name and find you. There is that privacy thing on there.

[Bert]

You gotta be very careful about the pictures you upload. Also, I uploaded some from Christmas time. Stacy's new tradition in the house to have us all dressed in the same pajamas. I haven't received more crap about anything in my life than I have this one picture, really. So you gotta be really careful about which ones you're putting up and which ones you're not.

[Jen Hobby]

Also, I'm still on the Facebook fence, you know. God. And when you get tagged by other

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

people in the photos, it's like, you seriously tagged me on that. Like, did you see how I looked in that picture? And you untag it.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Yes.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

Yeah. No offense, but come on now, be fair.

[Bert]

It's a great concept when you think about it. It's like it's your own fan site. You get to create your own fansite.

[VRBO Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Bert]

It's brilliant.

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

Everybody, everybody can be famous on Facebook.

[Unidentified Female Friend 1]

Yeah, I love that.

[Jen Hobby]

Still on the fence.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Show Host]

Hey, the Bird show.

[Megan McCardell]

Has the news been getting you down? I'm Megan McCardell and I'm here to help. I'm the host of a new show from Washington Post Opinion called Reasonably Optimistic. And it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling America right now. Every Wednesday, I'm going to talk to people who say, see a path forward.

[Craig]

It does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together to solve problems where they are.

[Bert]

You know, I am a believer in

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

America and that's worth fighting for.

[Megan McCardell]

Join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Show Host]

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[Megan McCardell]

Has the news been getting you down? I'm Megan McCardell and I'm here to help. I'm the host of a new show from Washington Post Opinion called Reasonably Optimistic, and it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling America right now. Every Wednesday I'm going to talk to people who see a path forward.

[Craig]

It does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together to solve problems where they are.

[Bert]

You know, I am a believer in

[Unidentified Female Friend 3]

America and it's worth fighting for.

[Megan McCardell]

Join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.