Vault: Ex-husband bought breast inserts for 13-yr old daughter

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Ex-husband bought breast inserts for 13-yr old daughter
Date: July 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a call-in segment where a listener, Jill, shares her concern after discovering her ex-husband bought breast inserts—commonly called “chicken cutlets”—for their 13-year-old daughter. The conversation opens up larger discussions about parenting after divorce, body image for young teens, co-parenting challenges, and the tendency for children to manipulate parental dynamics. The Bert Show hosts and multiple callers weigh in, offering empathetic advice and personal anecdotes to guide Jill through the issue.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jill’s Story: The Mother’s Perspective

• Jill recounts discovering breast inserts in her daughter’s room (01:43):
  • Her 13-year-old daughter visited her ex-husband, who took her shopping and bought her a bikini and breast inserts (chicken cutlets).
  • Jill felt the bikini was “a little skimpy for 13, but…fine,” but found the inserts “incredibly upsetting” and “unbelievably inappropriate for a 13-year-old girl” (02:27).
  • She acknowledges her daughter’s excitement about them, tied to puberty and wanting to fit in with more developed peers.
  • Jill highlights the complication of addressing it without alienating her daughter or making herself seem like “the bad guy.” She doesn’t want her ex-husband painted as creepy but rather as “clueless” about appropriateness (03:48).

“I don’t know how to explain it to my daughter without making her angry and without her making it seem like I’m the bad guy and daddy’s the one that understands.” – Jill (04:20)

2. The Dad’s Role and Parental Guilt

• The hosts and callers discuss the likely innocence and cluelessness of the father, rather than any malicious intent (05:10).
• The dynamic of divorced parents “overcompensating” for guilt and sometimes being more lenient comes up multiple times (11:09).

“I feel like he was just the dad that’s like, okay, if this is what…whatever. And especially since it’s a divorce, he probably goes above and beyond for her.” – Co-host (05:10)

3. Advice from Callers and Hosts

• Caller Suggestion: Make Dad Return the Inserts (05:25):

  • Kathy suggests that the father, not the mother, should return and explain the inappropriateness to their daughter.
  • Jill worries this would be mortifying for both her daughter and ex-husband.

• Deeper Issue: Body Image & Self-Esteem (06:32):

  • Michelle argues the real issue isn’t the inserts, but self-esteem: “If you take away the chicken cutlets, that’s not going to stop her from stuffing her breasts.”
  • Many girls “stuff their bras anyway,” so removing the inserts won’t address underlying discomfort about her changing body.

“It’s a self-esteem issue. I think the real issue that the mother needs to find out is why didn’t she feel comfortable enough to go to her mother in the first place to discuss this…?” – Michelle (06:44)

• Manipulation of Divorced Parents (07:42 & 11:36):
  • Several hosts and callers point out the daughter's manipulation; she knows how to play both parents to get what she wants.
  • “She needs to learn she cannot continue to do this,” says Kathy.

4. Risks of Social Embarrassment

• Ann, another caller, shares a story about a classmate nicknamed “Jelly” after being caught with breast inserts.
• This highlights the potential for lasting social consequences and bullying among peers (08:33).

“…Her classmates found out about it and so now they’ve nicknamed this little girl ‘Jelly.’ It is doing more harm than good…It’s going to stick with that kid forever.” – Ann (08:33)

5. The Broader Lesson: Body Acceptance

• Tracy, the host, pivots the discussion: Isn’t the real lesson “love your own body” and acceptance of developmental timing? (09:24)
• This is echoed by callers, emphasizing that “you’re beautiful just as you are” should be the message from both parents.

6. Where Jill Stands & Plans Moving Forward

• Jill shares that she talked to her daughter, took away the inserts, and is seeking advice on next steps (10:17).
• Callers urge both parents to be united and for the father to reinforce the same body-acceptance message.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jill (Mom, on her ex-husband’s intent) [04:20]:
  “There wasn’t anything creepy about my husband buying her these…he wants to make her happy and you know, he’s kind of clueless about, you know, fashion and what’s appropriate and what’s not.”

• Co-host (on post-divorce parenting) [05:10]:
  “He probably goes above and beyond for her. More so than normal.”

• Michelle (Caller, on teen self-esteem) [06:44]:
  “It’s a self-esteem issue. I think the real issue that the mother needs to find out is why didn’t she feel comfortable enough to go to her mother in the first place to discuss this?”

• Tracy (on body acceptance) [09:24]:
  “Aren’t we arguing the wrong point?…Isn’t the lesson that should be taught, love your own body?”

• Kathy (Caller, on manipulation and co-parenting) [11:09]:
  “She needs to learn that she cannot continue to do this.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:43: Jill begins sharing her story.
• 02:27: Jill expresses concern about appropriateness and her feelings.
• 04:20: Jill clarifies her ex-husband’s intentions.
• 05:10: Hosts discuss the dad’s possible cluelessness and post-divorce guilt.
• 05:25: Callers offer advice about who should be responsible for correcting the daughter.
• 06:32: Michelle’s call about self-esteem and common teen experiences.
• 08:33: Ann recounts “Jelly” story—real-world consequences among peers.
• 09:24: Tracy reframes the issue: body acceptance as the core lesson.
• 10:17: Jill updates everyone on her actions so far.
• 11:09: Callers and hosts on the need for parental unity and life lessons.

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Conclusion

The episode tackles the sensitive intersection of parenting, adolescence, and self-image. Listeners and hosts alike acknowledge the complexity of navigating these situations, especially post-divorce. The ultimate guidance: approach the conversation with empathy, parental unity, and a focus on affirming the daughter's worth just as she is—a lesson both for this 13-year-old and anyone facing similar parenting challenges.

Transcript

[Host/Announcer]

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[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

The Burt Show. Tracy did get that girl.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Oh, she did.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

The woman whose husband bought the boob inserts for his daughter.

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Yeah, the cutlet.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Bizarre. That's kind of gross. I'm sorry.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Yep, she will be. I think she's on hold right now.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Okay.

[Caller (Michelle)]

Oh, good.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Just waiting for her name.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Hmm.

[Caller/Commentator]

She might have to have a fake name.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah. Jill.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Voice disguiser.

[Caller/Commentator]

Voice disguiser. Well, yeah, her husband's buying boobies for the kid.

[Commercial Voice]

What?

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Good morning, Jill.

[Caller (Ann)]

Hi.

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Good morning.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

How are you?

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

I'm okay. How are you?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Curious to hear how this happened.

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Okay, so basically my. My daughter's 13 and she went to go visit her dad a couple of weeks ago, and when she came back, she, you know, showed me that he had taken her shopping and he bought her a bikini, which, which I thought the suit was a little skimpy for 13, but I was like, okay, it was fine. But then later I was cleaning up in her room and I came across those inserts. I think they call them chicken. They look like chicken cutlets.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Yeah, that's what we called them.

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Yeah. And you put them in your bra to make it look like you have cleavage. And anyway, as you can understand, I was incredibly upset. You know, I think that is unbelievably inappropriate for a 13 year old girl. You know, I mean, just, I don't know what, I don't know what my husband was thinking. And I, you know, I asked her about them and said, you know, where did you get these? And she said, oh, you know, daddy bought them for me. And it was just so upsetting and wrong on so many different levels. You know, I'm getting so Angry again, talking about it. So basically I, you know, I don't have any problem, you know, calling my husband and explaining to him that I think it was really wrong of him and inappropriate and that stuff like that in the future is just unacceptable. My problem is that I don't really know how to talk to my daughter because I know she's going to be upset because I could tell that she was, you know, she seemed embarrassed that I found the chicken cutlets, but I could tell she also was kind of excited about them because she, you know, she's, she's 13, so she's, you know, she's just now going into puberty. She's, she hasn't developed breasts yet. And I know a lot of the girls in her class have. So, you know, I'm sure she wants to, she wants to fit in and feel like she's, you know, she's growing her boobs too. But this is just, it's just, you know, 13 year old girls do not need to have cleavage. They're 13 for a reason. And you know, when you grow breasts, you grow breasts. And I just, I don't know how to explain it to my daughter without making her angry and without her making it seem like I'm the bad guy and daddy's the, you know, daddy's the one that understands. And one of the things is like, I do want to be clear that, you know, there wasn't anything creepy about my husband buying her these. You know, my daughter, she does this a lot with my ex. Like she, you know, she's sort of, you know, oh, daddy, and would you please, blah, blah, blah. And he, you know, he wants to make her happy and you know, he's kind of clueless about, you know, fashion and what's, you know, what's appropriate and what's not. So, you know, and I'm sure, you know, because what she often does is she'll say, oh, you know, mommy said that I could get this. You know, we've been in this situation before where she's gotcha. You know, mommy said I could get this. So my husband, while it wasn't appropriate, you know, I just don't think he was really thinking when he did it when he bought them for her.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

So.

[Commercial Voice]

What?

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Yeah. Cause that was my first thought, that it was kind of creepy, odd, but looking at the phone.

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Yeah, I don't want to paint my, I mean, I'm mad at my husband for buying them, but I don't want to paint him in that light at all.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I feel like he was just the dad. That's like, okay, if this is what he's like, whatever. And especially since it's a divorce, he probably goes above and beyond for her. More so than normal.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Hey, Aaron, welcome to the bird show. You got some advice for Jill?

[Caller (Kathy)]

Yes.

[Caller (Michelle)]

I was just going to say that

[Caller (Kathy)]

if they don't want the daughter to

[Caller (Michelle)]

have the cutlets, she should make the

[Caller (Kathy)]

dad be the one to go back

[Caller (Michelle)]

and take them away and explain to her why they were not appropriate for a 13 year old.

[Caller/Commentator]

That's a good idea. Could you do that?

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

I think my daughter might die of embarrassment if I did that. I mean, it's an idea. I don't know. I just, I know it would be incredibly embarrassing for my husband. And I think, I think, you know, my daughter might be a little mortified.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

It's not. And let me tell you why it's not a. Why it's not a good idea. Like he didn't know in the first place not to buy this for her.

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Exactly.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

You know what I'm saying? Like, he was unaware that she definitely manipulated her dad. Totally.

[Commercial Voice]

Yeah.

[Caller/Commentator]

To get him what she wanted, she

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

probably just went to the mall and dad, you know, guys don't want to be at the mall. Like girls want to be at the mall. And she probably just blazed through whatever store or stores and said, I need this, I need this, I need this and I need this. I bet he didn't even look, you know what I'm saying? He's like, all right, whatever you want. Hey, Michelle, welcome to the bird show.

[Caller (Michelle)]

Hi. Yeah, I just wanted to, in the dad sense, I can completely understand. My mother and father were both married, but I would always go to my father when it came to certain things that I knew my mother, I felt like wouldn't understand. At 13. I think at 13, a lot of girls, we stuff our bras anyway. So I really don't see a big deal with the chicken cutlets because either if she takes them away, she's going to probably use the old sock method and steal stuff herself or with, you know, tissue or whatever to make herself look bigger. So it's a self esteem issue. And I think the real issue that the mother needs to find out is why didn't she feel comfortable enough to go to her mother in the first place to discuss this instead of going to her using her dad to cover it up?

[Host/Announcer]

Well, because she knew her mom wouldn't buy them.

[Caller (Michelle)]

Yeah, but it's a self esteem issue. I mean, it's deeper than okay, well, I just Want to, you know, I want to go get chicken cutlets. But why didn't she feel comfortable enough to go to the mom and say, hey, you know, I'm still, you know, I'm still flat chested. The other girls are developing, you know, what can we do about this? Because if you take away the chicken coverlets, that's not going to stop her from stuffing her breasts.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Right?

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Well, she's 13 years old.

[Caller (Michelle)]

I mean, I wouldn't have talked to my mom. I think most girls stuff their breasts with something, might not be changing cutlets, but you gotta, I mean you do something to make yourself look better at that age.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, I think it's a, it's. She's manipulating both parents because she's, because I guarantee if they were still together, the dad would probably say, you know what, this is for your mom, I don't want to do this. You know what I mean? He's kind of forced in that situation

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

now, isn't it like just from a guy's point of view, if a 13 year old boy got stuff like caught stuff in his pants, you know what I mean?

[Co-host/Commentator]

Or mom bought him something to stuff his pants with.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

No, I mean just regardless of what he put in there and got caught at school, he would be ripped down through the, I mean he would go to college in a different country.

[Caller/Commentator]

No, it's not really the same thing. It's hard to make the comparison to a boy because I don't think boys have the same.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, with girls, you know, eventually you're gonna get to that point or you hope you eventually get to that point rather than at, you know, at 13. That's not, that's not the end of it.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Hey Ann, welcome to the bird show. You're on with Jill.

[Caller (Ann)]

Hey, good morning. I have a daughter that is in seventh grade and she is a classmate that got caught wearing the inserts and the kind that she was wearing. Not my daughter now because I would never. I don't agree with that. At seventh grade, it's just uncalled for. But this classmate had the jelly inserts and her classmates found out about it and so now they've nicknamed this little girl Jelly. It is doing more harm than good for sure because all the kids, they're in seventh grade, it's going to stick with that kid forever.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Now that's true.

[Caller/Commentator]

Well, seventh grade girls are mean or hateful.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, you say that, but when I was in sixth grade, it was the girl that became endowed before everybody else that people made fun of and she couldn't help it. Like, it's. Unfortunately, not all girls develop at the same rate or even to the same point. And, you know, they're going to get crap regardless.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

But I feel like we're arguing the wrong point. Yeah, this feels so weird to me because I feel like I'm about to argue, like, the women's lib point or whatever, but we're arguing how embarrassed she would be to have those in, like, if she got caught when the reality isn't a lesson that should be taught. Love your own body thing. Like, you'll get moves eventually.

[Caller/Commentator]

Definitely.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Absolutely.

[Caller/Commentator]

Definitely. But I think that that's just being a teenage girl. I think, like Wendy said, She's 13. She's gonna want what she wants. And there's nothing more important than fitting in when you're that age, you know?

[Co-host/Commentator]

And I think everybody's bringing a point because the mother wants advice on how to approach her daughter about this. And I think everybody's just trying to come from the standpoint of the daughter of where her mind is amongst, you know, with all this. Hey, but I appreciate your effort, Jeff.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Thanks. Hey, Jill, tell us where you are with your daughter. Does she know that you've found these? I can't remember if you've told us yet.

[Caller (Ann)]

Yes.

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

I mean, because I asked her, you know, I said, where did you get these? And she told me that daddy bought them.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Okay, but you have not said anything further, like you can never wear them again or.

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Well, I did take them away from her.

[Caller/Commentator]

Yeah, you did.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Okay.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Hey, Kathy, welcome to the bird show.

[Caller (Kathy)]

Hey, Bert Show. I love you guys.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Thank you.

[Caller (Kathy)]

Just a quick comment. The little girl is 13 years old, and, yes, she is a teenager and she's becoming a woman and all, but the whole problem here, I think, is she's getting away with manipulating her parents. I think that definitely needs to be addressed. And she's 13, and there's life lessons to learn, and this is a huge life lesson. You can't always get what you want by manipulating people.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, and she's a part of the divorce. Do you find that, Jill, do you think that you and your ex husband are a little more lenient on her because you. Because of the divorce?

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Well, I mean, yeah, of course there's, you know, we both have guilt issues there. And, you know, we do try to get her or give her anything that she wants, you know, within reason. So, you know, there's definitely that element there.

[Caller (Kathy)]

And can I just say that my daughter also was a product of a divorce, but the good thing is she still has two very loving and caring parents that are very active in their life. It's not like one has to overcompensate for the other one not being there. So she needs to learn that divorce is part of life. As much as you hate to see it happen and have children go through it, you need to work together, not manipulate. Not having this little girl manipulate one against the other to get what she wants. I mean, you don't always get what you want. She needs to learn that she cannot continue to do this.

[Caller/Commentator]

I would agree with that. And I would also say that I think the same message that you can send to your daughter and that your husband can or ex husband can send to your. Your daughter is that she's beautiful just the way she is and that she doesn't need those kind of things. And. And maybe that's the way you approach it and talk to her about it and have. Have your ex do the exact same thing. Because I think as uncomfortable as a conversation as that would be for him to have with her, I think it's important for him. Him to reinforce it as well. And it's not just like, oh, mom's just saying that because she took him away from me, you know, that it's both of you sending that same message, like, listen, honey, you're beautiful just as you are. You don't need this kind of thing.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah, you have to be on the same page as parents, divorced or not. You have to. Or any kid's gonna naturally do that, you know?

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Will you. After you have the talk with your daughter, will you please shoot Tracy an email and let us know how it went?

[Jill (Caller, Mother)]

Yes, absolutely. And thank you. This was really helpful. I feel much calmer.

[Caller/Commentator]

And then you could probably coach producer T.R. her husband Scott, because I'm certain that their daughter's already doing it too.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

Asking for breast implants?

[Caller/Commentator]

No, manipulating them.

[Tracy (The Burt Show Host)]

The bird show.

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