Vault: Facebook Rules For Parents

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: Facebook Rules For Parents" (July 13, 2026)

Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show dives into the ever-evolving landscape of Facebook, especially focusing on how parents interact with the platform—and their kids—online. With the growing demographic shift of Facebook users toward an older crowd (especially moms and grandmas), the cast humorously but pointedly lays out a list of "Facebook Rules for Parents." The episode features the usual witty banter, relatable anecdotes, and a couple of entertaining callers, all centered around defining healthy boundaries for parent/child interactions on social media.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Changing Demographics on Facebook

• Introduction by Reshma (00:58)

  • Notes how Facebook has transitioned from a "kids" platform to one dominated by users 35 and up, especially women aged 46–64.
  • "There was a time there where like, MySpace was for the kids, man, and then Facebook was for the kids. But now... the majority is 35 and up. The fastest growing population on Facebook are women 46 to 64." —Reshma & Host (00:58–01:26)

• Moms & Grandmoms Takeover

  • Observations about parents and grandparents now using Facebook to check up on families and share photos.

The Unwritten "Rules" for Parents on Facebook

• Rule #1: It's Okay to Friend Your Kids—But... (02:30)

  • Parents can friend their own kids to keep tabs and stay connected.
  • "You're allowed to be friends with your child." —Facebook Rules Expert (02:30)

• Rule #2: Don't Friend Your Kids' Friends (02:30–03:01)

  • It's inappropriate for parents to friend-request their children's friends.
  • "Like your child's friends. You can't go on Facebook and search them out and friend them." —Facebook Rules Expert (02:54)
  • "Yeah, that is a little crazy. That's like Millie Pete being Jen's friend on Facebook." —Commentator 1 (03:01)

• Rule #3: If Kids' Friends Friend You First, Be Cool (03:15)

  • Accept the request if it comes your way, but don't overstep by engaging excessively on their posts.
  • "You're not allowed to go and comment on all their statuses, like all their photos, post on their wall and comment on everything they do." —Facebook Rules Expert (03:15)

• Rule #4: Rethink Family Friend Requests (04:01)

  • Advises caution with friending nieces, nephews, cousins, or godchildren, as it can blur the lines of parental oversight and lead to family drama.
  • "...it's a relationship where you're allowed to watch over them, like you're their parent...for cousins and god kids, you start getting a little protective...crossing boundaries." —Facebook Rules Expert (04:01)

• Rule #5: No All-CAPS Text (05:19)

  • Typing in ALL CAPS is viewed as yelling; it's unwelcome and creates confusion.
  • "In the world of the Internet, it means you're screaming and don't scream everything. It doesn't make your point more important...you are yelling at them." —Facebook Rules Expert (05:19)
  • Discussion about older users using caps for "large print," but the group agrees after age 80, you do what you want (05:16–06:17).

• Rule #6: Resist the Urge to Download Every App or Game (06:20)

  • Discourages parents from sending endless game requests, virtual drinks, or gifts—just meet or gift friends in person.
  • "You are 50 plus years old. If you want to send your friend a drink, go out and buy them a drink in person." —Facebook Rules Expert (06:20)
  • Exasperation with relentless notifications from parents' game/app usage on Facebook.
  • "All I get on my Facebook are like, blah, blah, blah. Has sent someone a drink, join them. And I'm like, leave me alone. I actually go out with my friends." —Facebook Rules Expert (06:47)

Listener Callers Weigh In

• Caller Kathy on Platform History & Friend Counts (07:19–09:54)

  • Challenges the show's history of Facebook, suggesting MySpace was for kids, Facebook for parents, but agrees with many points about boundaries.
  • "Just so you know, I've got 5,000 friends on the Facebook." —Host (08:37)
  • "The parents always know exactly how many friends they have...they're really, like, alert on how, like, their Facebook status is." —Facebook Rules Expert (08:41)
  • Joking references to parents referring to the site as "the Facebook" and generally being defensive about their habits.

• Additional Rule: Don’t Friend Teachers (09:55–10:47)

  • Callers agree it's inappropriate for parents to friend-request their children's teachers—it's too personal and puts everyone in an awkward position.
  • "If you are a parent on Facebook, do not friend request your child's teachers...it's just a little too personal." —Caller Kathy (10:08)
  • "That's almost like them taking your cell phone number, you know." —Commentator 1 (10:30)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Friend Requests from Parents:

  • "It's a little creepy." —Commentator 1 about parents liking all their kid's friends' photos (03:50)
  • "I had one of my best friend's mom, like every one of my hundred pictures on an album. I don't understand why she'd do that." —Facebook Rules Expert (03:37)

• On All-Caps Posts:

  • "When you type in caplocks, it's normally because you're excited or angry." —Facebook Rules Expert (05:49)
  • "After 80, they can do whatever the hell they want." —Commentator 1 (06:17)

• On Facebook Apps:

  • "If you want to send your friend a drink, go out and buy them a drink in person." —Facebook Rules Expert (06:20)
  • "I have like aunts and friends and like my mom's friends who have over 100 applications...Leave me alone. I actually go out with my friends." —Facebook Rules Expert (06:47)

• On Platform Generational Gaps:

  • "You're already showing you shouldn't be on Facebook if you're referring to it as 'the Facebook.'" —Reshma to Caller Kathy (07:54)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:58–01:26: Demographics shift—Facebook's user age increase
• 02:30–03:50: Parental rules—friend requests to kids, kids’ friends, and reactions to likes/comments
• 04:01–04:54: Family friend requests and awkwardness
• 05:19–06:17: All-caps etiquette and generational writing habits
• 06:20–07:13: Overuse of Facebook apps and game requests
• 09:55–10:47: New parental rule—don’t friend teachers

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Episode Takeaways

• Facebook isn't just for kids anymore, but the way parents use it often clashes with social norms and boundaries familiar to younger users.
• The show's "rules" are designed to help parents connect without crossing boundaries or embarrassing themselves (or their children).
• Social media etiquette is generational, and maintaining respectful boundaries keeps both relationships and timelines drama-free.
• Listener participation brought fresh rules and real-life perspectives, showing this is a universal, ongoing conversation.

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For a deeper dive or to contribute your Facebook rule, check out the show’s website or chime in on social media!

Transcript

[Host]

Hey, everybody.

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[Reshma]

Refreshers contain caffeine. This is the bird show, intern Reshma. So Reshma raises some very, very good points. I mean, there was a time there where like, MySpace was for the kids, man, and then Facebook was for the kids. But now if you look at the demographics of Facebook, it's like, I mean, the majority is 35 and up now, isn't it?

[Facebook Rules Expert]

It's a gas statistic.

[Commentator 1]

Yeah.

[Commentator 2]

I don't know what the statistics are.

[Host]

The fastest growing population on Facebook are women 44 to or 46 to 64.

[Reshma]

And these are the mommies and the grandmommies also sharing pictures, checking up on their grandbabies, making sure the kids are okay on Facebook also, which is fine. But there's got to be some protocol, right?

[Facebook Rules Expert]

There does. I mean, I understand the whole staying in touch with people. You move around, you lose connection. And Facebook's a great way to do it, and I have no problem with that. But most of these people are parents, and they're parents who friend their kids and treat Facebook the way that kids treat Facebook, which is two completely different worlds.

[Reshma]

What do you mean?

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Like parents use Facebook or kids use Facebook to keep in touch and like, you know, send each other stuff. And it's an entertainment thing, which is understandable because their kids, teenagers do it to like, keep in touch, et cetera, you know, you said the entertainment for

[Commentator 1]

kids is also a little different than the entertainment for your average 50 year old.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Exactly. But for some reason with like the applications on Facebook, in the games, like the farmville thing, we're talking about, you know, moms getting involved and like, doing these, like, drastic things, parents are getting a little too into this. But there's certain things that need to be said about Facebook. All right, and so here are my rules for Facebook.

[Reshma]

Number one, these are for the parents, right?

[Facebook Rules Expert]

For parents. For parents generally in regards to your kids. But in general, number one, you're allowed to be friends with your kids. I understand that you wanna keep an eye on them. I mean, you're away. It's a good way to keep track. So you're allowed to be friends with your child. But number two, you're not allowed to be friends with your child's kids, no matter how close you are, no matter if they're like, oh, you're the coolest parent, let's hang out. Let me tell you.

[Commentator 1]

Like the parents, kid's friends or whatever.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Like your child's friends. You can't go on Facebook and search them out and friend them.

[Reshma]

Ok, That's.

[Commentator 1]

Yeah, that is a little crazy. That's like Millie Pete being Jen's friend on Facebook.

[Commentator 2]

Yes. Some friends, moms who've done that.

[Reshma]

Really?

[Commentator 2]

Yeah, they do that now.

[Reshma]

What if. What if this goes the other way? Like, if the friend of the daughter wants to friend mom.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

That's my rule. Number three, you're allowed to do that and accept it. But you're not allowed to go and comment on all their statuses. Like all their photos post on their wall and comment on everything they do. Like, you're not allowed to stalk them 24 7.

[Host]

So when they road trip down to Savannah for St. Patrick's Day, you're not allowed to comment on every picture. Ooh, someone's weari and they're green.

[Caller Kathy]

Ooh, look at kitty.

[Commentator 1]

It's like being buddies with your kids.

[Commentator 2]

Yeah.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

I had one of my best friend's mom, like every one of my hundred pictures on an album. Every one. I don't understand why she'd do that. Because I get on Facebook and I have a hundred notifications that she likes all of them. She could have just told me she liked the pictures. There was no need to like all of them.

[Commentator 1]

It's a little creepy.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Yeah, it is. Number four.

[Commentator 2]

Well, and it shows lack of use with Facebook.

[Commentator 1]

Yeah.

[Commentator 2]

Because she doesn't realize you're getting 100 notifications. Like, she could have just posted one message, one notification.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Done exactly. The other thing that I kind of get a little iffy on is you're not allowed a friend. You're like nieces, your nephew. You're like God, kids. Like close family members, children. And my thing with that is, is it's a relate. Like with your child. It's A relationship where you're allowed to watch over them, like you're their parent, you have responsibility with them for cousins and God kids, you start getting a little protective of them and crossing boundaries.

[Reshma]

It's almost like Narciss. You mean like you're sort of watching over the entire family?

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Exactly. And you're kind of watching like, who they talk to, what they do. And then it becomes like family gossip, family drama.

[Reshma]

Okay.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Just too much and it's not worth the issues that could arise from it. Well, I'm friends with my uncle, aunt, cousins, my mom is on Facebook, my distant relatives.

[Reshma]

Did they all request to friend you and you said yes to everybody?

[Caller Kathy]

Yeah.

[Reshma]

Okay.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

I mean, a lot of it's awkward

[Reshma]

to say, like to not friend them.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

That's the thing. They friend you say you have to. But I'm trying to put out there that don't do it.

[Reshma]

Don't put them in that awkward position.

[Commentator 2]

Oh, yeah.

[Host]

Here's what we gotta do. The bird show. Here's what we need to develop family book. So there's Facebook and that's for the people that you want to drink around. What's up?

[Caller Kathy]

Rock and roll. Woo.

[Host]

And then you get family book. And that's where going over to Jen's house for a baking party. She's gonna teach us how to make chocolate chip and praline cookies.

[Reshma]

It's just a page of lies.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Reshma]

You've got Facebook and then you have the page of lies.

[Host]

Yes, exactly.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Okay, number five. I don't know why parents don't get this. Don't type in all cat blocks. In the world of the Internet, it means you're screaming and don't scream everything. It doesn't make your point more important. It's not emphasizing what you say. You look mentally retarded. Like, it drives me insane. And my mother's at town, so I can say this. She does it all the time when she emails people. And I'm like, mom, you are yelling at this person. They're like, no, no, it's easier to read. No, mother, it's easier for you to read. But you are yelling at them.

[Reshma]

You seem petty for correcting them about something.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

And she gets so mad at me. But I mean, it's true. When you type in caplocks, it's normally because you're excited or angry.

[Commentator 1]

Yeah, they're doing their own self. Large print.

[Commentator 2]

Yeah, my grandmother does that. I've told you guys that before. She's on email and now she's on Facebook.

[Reshma]

All caps, all caps, all the time.

[Commentator 2]

She says it's just because she's lazy.

[Reshma]

I mean, what do you mean, just because she's.

[Commentator 2]

She doesn't want to do the shift key.

[Reshma]

Oh, really?

[Commentator 2]

Literally, that's what she told me.

[Host]

And you can't argue with that.

[Reshma]

Then don't use it at all. I mean, that's.

[Commentator 1]

She's a lie.

[Reshma]

Most people are doing now anyways. You don't use caps at all.

[Commentator 2]

She's in her 80s.

[Commentator 1]

I'm not arguing. After 80, they can do whatever the hell they want.

[Commentator 2]

Yeah.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

Yeah. And then number six is the one that drives me the most insane. Mothers in particular love doing this. They love downloading every single app on Facebook. The like, buy yourself drinks or send them a teddy bear, the garden, flowers and everything. You are 50 plus years old. If you want to send your friend a drink, go out and buy them a drink in person. Do not send them a drink on Facebook. Don't buy them a plant, don't send them a teddy bear. Go out in person. Like, there is no need.

[Reshma]

You can afford it.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

There's no need. I mean, I have like aunts and friends and like my mom's friends who have over 100 applications. And all I get on my Facebook are like, blah, blah, blah. Has sent someone a drink, join them. And I'm like, leave me alone. I actually go out with my friends.

[Host]

Have you ever logged on to see, like, your mom has sent you a ninja kick and your dad has sent you a French kiss?

[Commentator 1]

Aw.

[Reshma]

What?

[Commentator 2]

I think these are good rules, Reshma.

[Caller Kathy]

Yeah, it needs to be, right?

[Host]

Dude, I just whacked grandma in Mafia wars.

[Reshma]

What's up here are the parents calling up to, you know that there'd be some push on this. Hey, Kathy, Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller Christian]

Hey.

[Caller Kathy]

Well, I'm just listening to this and I'm laughing because first of all, the MySpace was supposed to be for the kids and the Facebook was for parents.

[Commentator 1]

No, it wasn't, honey, it wasn't.

[Caller Kathy]

It was for college kids. Yes, it was. You can find your college friends and stuff and the MySpace for the kids to put their videos, whatever. Crap. I have two teenagers and it's just silly. It's just a silly conversation. But there you are, right about certain things on the Facebook. I had an experiment for about a

[Reshma]

day you're already showing you shouldn't be on Facebook if you're referring to it as the Facebook.

[Host]

But that's okay. Keep telling us about this newfangled thing on the interwebs.

[Caller Kathy]

If I'm referring you to Is it

[Reshma]

what as the Facebook.

[Caller Kathy]

No, I just said it like that. Anyway, ninja.

[Host]

Kick.

[Reshma]

Go ahead, kick.

[Caller Kathy]

Nice. I. When I've been on Facebook for two years or whatever, but for six months, I've been experimenting just to see who would answer the Facebook. And I have, like, 590 friends of people I don't know. Right, okay, well, don't. They don't check to see who they're saying yes to. They just say it. So they're being silly. And. Yes. No. You should not be checking up on your children's friends.

[Host]

Well, just so you know, I've got 5,000 friends on Facebook.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

It's the Facebook.

[Host]

Sorry.

[Facebook Rules Expert]

The parents always know exactly how many friends they have. I mean, pictures and everything. Like, they're really, like, alert on how, like, their Facebook status is.

[Commentator 1]

And I felt that you could tell that she's a mother of a teenager because she would not listen to anything we said. She used to arguing with her children all the time.

[Reshma]

Kathy, you are, aren't you? You're a parent of a teenager.

[Caller Kathy]

I'm a parent of two teenagers.

[Reshma]

You're not listening to anybody younger anymore.

[Commentator 2]

Yeah. You're in battle mode.

[Commentator 1]

Yeah.

[Caller Kathy]

Well, first of all, I'm not old. Thank you. And I didn't say you were old.

[Commentator 2]

I said you were old. B mode.

[Commentator 1]

Yes.

[Commentator 2]

Battle mode.

[Commentator 1]

You're being defensive.

[Caller Kathy]

I just find it funny because I think it's okay to be on the Facebook.

[Reshma]

It's not the Facebook. It's Facebook. And Resh was not saying that you shouldn't be on. She's just saying I think it's great that there are some rules to the Facebook that you should know.

[Caller Kathy]

Okay, I know all the rules.

[Commentator 1]

Yeah, see, no, she'll like me.

[Host]

I liked her. I'm gonna get her. I have a modem that you don't have to set the cradle of the phone into. I'm gonna get her one of those. She's like, you know what? I am going to write? I'm gonna write that radio station right now.

[Commentator 1]

She needs it.

[Reshma]

Send her a what?

[Commentator 2]

She needs somebody to reach out and touch her.

[Caller Kathy]

Yeah.

[Caller Christian]

Hey, Christian.

[Host]

Good Morning.

[Reshma]

You're on Q100.

[Caller Kathy]

Hey, good morning.

[Reshma]

How are you?

[Caller Kathy]

I'm doing good. How are y'? All?

[Reshma]

Okay, well, you heard the rules for the Facebook, right?

[Caller Kathy]

Yes, I heard the rules, and I have one of my own that I would like to add.

[Commentator 2]

Okay.

[Caller Kathy]

If you are a parent on Facebook, do not friend request your child's teachers. Oh, no.

[Commentator 2]

Yeah.

[Caller Kathy]

It's a little crazy. I mean, you know, some of the Parents were really nice and we keep in touch through email when you let your, you know, your student's parents know how their kids doing and that kind of thing. But you know, friend requesting them on Facebook is just a little too personal,

[Reshma]

a little too close to home.

[Commentator 1]

Well, that's almost like them taking your cell phone number, you know.

[Reshma]

Yeah, I agree with you.

[Caller Kathy]

Yeah, exactly. It's kind of, you know, then you're put in that situation where you're like, I don't want to be rude by ignoring them. But at the same, you know, you don't want to be put in that position where you're having really any contact with any of your students or, you know, their families outside of school.

[Reshma]

Too close to home. Right there. Great rules. Hey, can you put the parental rules to the Facebook on our world, our worldwide website?

[Caller Kathy]

I will do that.

[Commentator 2]

You want to go to where can

[Host]

people go find that HTTP://backslash backslash www.q100atlanta.com

[Reshma]

we'll put it up online here in a couple of minutes.

[Host]

We'll hyperlink to that.

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