Vault: Fertility Treatment

Summary

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The Bert Show – "Vault: Fertility Treatment" (November 5, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show delves into a provocative real-life story submitted by a listener named Jessica, covering the intersection of fertility struggles, open marriage, and unconventional paths to parenthood. Jessica candidly shares her journey through infertility with her husband, their decision to have her ex-fiancé act as a sperm donor, and the dynamics of their open marriage. The episode is an open forum for on-air hosts, Jessica, and various callers to explore, challenge, and defend different concepts of love, parenthood, commitment, and what constitutes a family.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jessica’s Fertility Dilemma

• Jessica’s Backstory: Jessica calls in to discuss her and her husband's struggle to get pregnant due to mutual fertility problems – her own infertility and her husband’s history as a professional bull rider without protective gear.
  • Jessica (02:45): “My husband, brilliant man that he is, did professional bull riding for years and didn’t wear a cup.”
• Seeking a Solution: They ruled out artificial insemination due to cost, compounded by the fact they already have an open marriage.
  • Jessica (03:31): "One, that [artificial insemination] costs a lot of money, which we don’t really have. And two, we have an open marriage anyway."

2. Open Marriage Dynamics

• Mutually Agreed Terms: Jessica describes the ground rules of their open marriage, explaining the need to ask permission before engaging with others and making distinctions between “having sex” and “making love.”
  • Jessica (04:23): “You have to ask permission... my only rule is that there’s a difference between having sex and making love.”
• Impact on Marriage: She claims their open lifestyle actually saves their relationship due to differing sex drives.
  • Jessica (04:15): “We both have different sex drives that the other cannot always meet. Which is why we have the open relations. And I swear it saves our marriage.”

3. The Sperm Donor – Her Ex-Fiancé

• Role Boundaries: Jessica emphasizes her ex will only be the donor or “uncle,” not the father, clarifying his involvement post-birth will be minimal.
  • Jessica (03:45): “Yes, and my ex fiancé is, you know, just the donor, not the daddy.”
• Husband’s Reaction: Her husband is supportive, even to the extent of accompanying Jessica but spending time at a nearby strip club during the insemination.
  • Jessica (05:23): "And I took him with me and he went to the nudie bar next door."

4. Listener Reactions: Support and Criticism

A. Concerned Calls

• Potential Harm to Children: Ashley shares her negative experience as a child of an open marriage.
  • Ashley (06:31): “It affected me bad. I become bulimic... my parents separated when I was 17.”
• Doubts About Parenting: Another caller, Kate, bluntly challenges Jessica's qualification to parent under such circumstances.
  • Kate (07:03): “People like you should never have children.”
• Communication and Role Confusion: Hosts and callers question whether a child can truly understand and thrive in such an environment.
  • Host (10:05): “Think about all the role differences and the role confusion that’s gonna be going on with this child.”

B. Defenders

• Consenting Adults: A caller defends the arrangement if both parties are clear and consenting.
  • Caller (08:52): “If her and her husband have an understanding that... you can do whatever you want to... then it should be okay.”
• Avoiding Secrecy: Defender points out the honesty in Jessica’s marriage compared to those who cheat in secret.
  • Caller (10:45): “There’s so many guys... They’re married, they’re secretively having a [affair] ... if my wife doesn’t find out, yada, yada, yada."

5. Jessica’s View on Parenthood and Love

• Openness with Child: Jessica pledges transparency with her child about their origins and stresses her husband will always be the true parent.
  • Jessica (07:28): “As far as my, you know, child knowing about his father from day one, we will explain to him that... mommy and daddy couldn’t have a baby together, so somebody else helped Mommy make the baby. But your daddy is your daddy.”
• Adoption Parallel: Jessica compares her arrangement to adoption—stating love and commitment matter more than genetics.
  • Jessica (04:58): “I mean, we've talked about adoption anyway, and as far as I'm concerned, that'd be no different.”
• Limits of the Open Arrangement: She corrects misconceptions, stating she only sees her ex for insemination purposes.
  • Jessica (11:25): “I'm only going down there when it's time to get pregnant... I explained it improperly. I apologize for that.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Defining Sex and Love (04:44)
  • Jessica: “There’s a difference between having sex and making love. He can’t make love to this girl... it’s got to be strict, you know, passionate, wild, hot monkey sex.”
• A Surreal Insemination Night (05:19)
  • Host: “So he’s in a strip joint next door while you’re having sex with your ex fiancé and he’s telling the strippers about it.”
• Candid Parenting Philosophy (07:28)
  • Jessica: “We will explain to him... mommy and daddy couldn’t have a baby together, so somebody else helped Mommy make the baby. But your daddy is your daddy.”
• Caller’s Cautionary Tale (06:31)
  • Ashley: “It affected me bad. I become bulimic.”
• Support with Caveats (08:52)
  • Caller/Defender: “If her and her husband have an understanding... then it should be okay.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:14 – Jessica’s call and initial explanation
• 03:31 – Details about the donor arrangement and open marriage
• 04:23 – Marriage ground rules and motivations
• 05:19 – Jessica describes the ‘insemination night’
• 06:11 – First concerned caller: Ashley’s experience as a child in an open marriage
• 07:03 – Kate’s confrontation: "People like you should never have children."
• 08:52 – Listener defense of Jessica’s choices
• 10:05 – Debate on potential confusion for the child
• 11:25 – Jessica’s clarification about the frequency with her ex

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Tone and Style

The conversation is frank, humorous at times, and deeply personal, as is typical of The Bert Show’s style. The hosts balance curiosity and skepticism, pushing for clarity and challenging assumptions, while Jessica remains mostly composed and unflappable, defending her choices. The listener input is passionate—some empathetic, others critical, making for a lively and thought-provoking exchange.

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This episode offers listeners a front-row seat to complex, real-life relationship negotiations and highlights the diversity of perspectives on family, ethics, and love, all shared with The Bert Show's characteristic blend of honesty, humor, and empathy.

Transcript

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[Host]

The Bird show. I'm a fairly open minded guy. You can come at me with a bunch of opinions and I'll listen to you. But this woman here had us so mad. She's married, but. But she's going to her ex boyfriend to impregnate her. Good morning, Jessica.

[Jessica]

Hello. How are you this morning?

[Host]

Doing just great. How are you?

[Jessica]

Well, I called yesterday to try to get Dylan to play the new Eminem song for me, but we started talking. I was telling him about how I'm going through fertility treatments with my husband right now.

[Host]

Okay.

[Jessica]

And I made the comment to him that my husband's not the one getting me pregnant.

[Caller/Commentator]

Who's getting you pregnant?

[Jessica]

My ex fiance.

[Host]

Wow, this is taking an interesting turn. Okay, so let me get this straight. You and your husband have been with each other for how long?

[Jessica]

Well, we've been together since last November. We got married in January.

[Host]

You've been trying to have a child since January? Okay, so you and you went to the doctors and they said that that's not possible because of your husband?

[Jessica]

Well, both of us. I had infertility problems beforehand and my husband, brilliant man that he is, did professional bull riding for years and didn't wear a cup.

[Caller/Commentator]

Oh, wow.

[Host]

And that really had an effect on it.

[Jessica]

Oh yeah.

[Caller/Commentator]

You're sleeping with this ex fiance, huh? I mean, because there's such a thing as, you know, a donor without having to have sex with them.

[Jessica]

Well, a couple reasons we're not going that route. One, that costs a lot of money, which we don't really have. And two, we have an open marriage anyway.

[Host]

Oh, do you?

[Jessica]

Oh yeah.

[Host]

Wow. This thing just woo. It just keeps twisting.

[Caller/Commentator]

So he's gonna raise children that were fathered by your ex fiance?

[Jessica]

Yes, and my ex fiance is, you know, just the donor, not the daddy.

[Host]

And he. And he. And once that child's born, the ex.

[Jessica]

Fiance out of the picture, he'll probably be like uncle.

[Host]

See, so much of this doesn't make sense.

[Caller/Commentator]

And your husband's not gonna have a problem with that?

[Jessica]

No, I mean, I. My ex fiance, just out of the blue, I mean, we were already, you know, sleeping with each other because in truth, my husband understands it. And it's the same with him too, is we both have different sex drives that the other cannot always meet.

[Host]

Right.

[Jessica]

Which is why we have the open relations. And I swear it saves our marriage.

[Host]

Okay, what exactly are the terms of the open marriage? So you're allowed to mess around with anybody you want.

[Jessica]

He's you have to ask permission. Who do you ask the permission of? Well, like if he wanted to go and sleep with another girl, he has to ask me. And would you ever say no? I haven't. Well, he has never asked. With my ex husband. I only said no one time and that was just because I wasn't getting any either. And it really ticked me off that he was gonna go give it to some girl up in Virginia and not give any to me. Wow.

[Caller/Commentator]

So if the tables were turning, let's say that your husband now could impregnate another woman, but you would have to raise that child. You wouldn't have a problem with that?

[Jessica]

No.

[Caller/Commentator]

Really?

[Jessica]

None whatsoever. I mean, we've talked about adoption anyway, and as far as I'm concerned, that'd be no different.

[Host]

Yeah, but this is an ex. This is a guy that you used to love and had a relationship with.

[Caller/Commentator]

Well, she was sleeping with him anyway.

[Host]

And your husband's all right with you sleeping with him and he doesn't think that you're gonna end up falling in love with this guy again?

[Jessica]

Oh, see, last it was Friday night was when we went down for the quote unquote insemination.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

And I took him with me and he went to the nudie bar next door.

[Host]

So he's in a strip joint next door while you're having sex with your.

[Jessica]

Ex fiance and he's telling the strippers about it.

[Caller/Commentator]

So you can bring a child into this world.

[Jessica]

Exactly.

[Host]

And you're all right with him going out and messing around also, as long.

[Jessica]

As he tells me first. Or if he doesn't have a chance to tell me first, as long as he's completely up front when he's done.

[Host]

Now, is there a criteria? Do you need to go out and meet this girl or he just says there's some girl at work that I really want to sleep with. Is that cool?

[Jessica]

Pretty much. I mean, my only rule is that there's a difference between having sex and making love. And he can't make love to this girl, whoever she is, it's got to be strict, you know, passionate, wild, hot monkey sex.

[Host]

So so long as he's having great sex, great, mind blowing sex, but so long as he's not falling in love with her, then you're gonna be happy with it.

[Jessica]

I believe she called it Monkey Sex.

[Host]

Hi, Q100.

[Jessica]

Hi. This is Ashley. You know, she's talking about having an open marriage. My parents had an open marriage when I was 14. I found out.

[Host]

Oh, is that right?

[Jessica]

Yeah, I caught my dad.

[Caller/Commentator]

Oh, so how does that. How. As the child of a family with an open marriage, how does that. How did that affect you?

[Jessica]

It affected me bad. I become bulimic.

[Host]

Oh, really?

[Jessica]

You know, it was awful. My parents separated when I was 17. I watched other people who had open marriages, same thing happen.

[Caller/Defender]

It was awful.

[Jessica]

It's awful for the children, it's awful for the family.

[Caller/Commentator]

How does it affect your relationship with people now as an adult?

[Jessica]

I don't have. Too trusting of relationships, I bet.

[Host]

Hey, Jessica, are you listening to Ashley?

[Jessica]

Sex is just sex, you know.

[Host]

Hey, Ashley. Thanks for calling, Ashley.

[Jessica]

You're welcome.

[Host]

Morning, Kate.

[Jessica]

Hi, how are you? I don't want to offend you or anything, okay, but people like you should never have children.

[Host]

Why do you say that?

[Jessica]

I mean, just. Oh, my God. Your idea of what a relation, a committed relationship is and love is, is obviously.

[Caller/Defender]

This is what you're going to teach your child.

[Omaha Steaks Advertiser]

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[Host]

How do you teach your child about a committed relationship when you guys are living the lifestyle that you're living?

[Jessica]

Well, you know, I love my husband. I will never make love to anyone but my husband. As far as my, you know, child knowing about his father from day one, we will explain to him that, you know, mommy and daddy couldn't have a baby together, so somebody else helped Mommy make the baby. But your daddy is your daddy.

[Omaha Steaks Advertiser]

Now.

[Jessica]

What's gonna happen, just out of curiosity, what's gonna happen if 10 years, the biological father decides that he wants to be a part of. As far as I'm concerned, that's between him and the child. Needs to be a part of the child's life. I think that's fine. But the child will always know that my husband is his or her daddy. You know, he raised her. He's the one who changed her diapers at 2:00 in the morning. And, you know, if my husband could produce children, we would do it that way.

[Host]

Nicole, you're on with Jessica.

[Jessica]

This is absolutely absurd. What is the point in getting married to a person and having those vows and having an open marriage? Well, as Jessica, let me ask you this. Is marriage only about sex? No, it's not only about sex or too.

[Caller/Defender]

It isn't there.

[Jessica]

There's. There's love, there's caring for each other, there's being there for each other.

[Host]

See, to me, it's one and the same once you get married that sex and love is the same thing. I can't. Yeah. Hey, Nicole.

[Caller/Defender]

Yeah.

[Host]

You wanna defend Jessica?

[Caller/Defender]

I am totally defending her.

[Jessica]

Okay, here we go.

[Caller/Defender]

I'm telling you all right? If her and her husband have an understanding that they came into a marriage saying, hey, you can do whatever you want to. You come to me and let me know, then it should be okay. There is a lot of people out there that want to have kids, that can't have kids, but can take care of them, want them, want to love them. Okay. There's a lot of people out there. I went to college with a girl who never knew who she was adopted, never knew who her mom. Over and over and over, over and over, she cried, and she had all these problems because she never knew who her real mom was. She only knew who her adoptive parents were. So it really screwed her up in the long run, too, because she went around searching and searching. She finally found this woman, and she had, like, six other kids. She was living on welfare. She had all these other problems. But at least they are going about it the right way. To me to say, hey, I know who the father is. I know, you know, at least he's somebody who's reputable. I know his. You know, what his background is. You know, to have a sperm donor and then to actually bring him in as an uncle or somebody who could be into the child's life. You guys, Jeff and Bert, you guys are looking at it in a negative point of view.

[Caller/Commentator]

He's like, he's gonna be screwed up.

[Host]

Yeah. I mean, think about all the role. The role differences and the role confusion that's gonna be going on with this child. Right.

[Jessica]

Gump is confusing enough. And learning about sex, oh, my gosh, that just plays a whole nother part. It's gonna confuse the child.

[Caller/Commentator]

If it was just the fact she can't get pregnant, the husband can't get her pregnant, and she needed a sperm donor just one or two times, and so that she can get pregnant, but she wants to involve that person. Okay, that's fine. But what we're attacking is they have an open marriage and they're sleeping with multiple partners along with each other.

[Caller/Defender]

He had been sleeping with a lot of people. She said that he asked her once or twice. I mean, I'm not saying that that's, like, the best way to. But look, there's so many guys out here that I meet all the time. They're married. They're secretively having a.

[Caller/Commentator]

That doesn't make it right.

[Caller/Defender]

They're going out. They're like, hey, I'm married. But, hey, you know what? It's okay because, you know, if my wife doesn't find out, yada, yada, yada, it has gonna happen. It's gonna happen.

[Caller/Commentator]

See, that is I don't think to justify it. I don't think. I don't think it's right.

[Jessica]

That I have slept with. Was last Florida when I was raped. I am only with the one person. And at this time, my husband hasn't been with anyone because he hasn't found anybody that he feels is the way.

[Host]

You came on here was that if he asked. And he can sleep around if you ask, you can sleep around.

[Caller/Commentator]

And this guy, you know, I have. I was sleeping with him anyway. So he's my ex fiance and I know he is so he can be the father of my child. But he's not only just going to be the sperm donor, but he's also fulfilling my sexual needs. I mean, you were coming on strong.

[Jessica]

I'm only going down there when it's time to get pregnant.

[Host]

Okay, that's not the way you made it sound.

[Jessica]

I explained it improperly. I apologize for that. No, I'm only going down there, so.

[Caller/Commentator]

But you'll be able to explain things clearly to your child, I'm sure. But you can't explain it clearly to a radio show.

[Host]

All right, Jessica, we're going to let you go.

[Caller/Defender]

Okay.

[Jessica]

Well, thank you.

[Jeffrey]

The bird show.

[Omaha Steaks Advertiser]

There's just something about fall cooking. That first cool night when you throw on a hoodie, fire up the grill and the smell of sizzling steak fills the air. Lately I've been all about convenience on busy weeknights and Omaha Steaks has totally changed the game for me. I ordered their butcher's favorite box. Juicy filet mignons, burgers and even some comfort meal sides like potatoes au gratin. Every cut was tender, flavorful and easy to prepare. I just seasoned, seared and in minutes we were eating like it was a steakhouse dinner. It's honestly the best of both worlds. Convenience and that handcrafted heartland flavor Omaha Steaks is known for. Bring home the legendary flavor and everyday convenience of omaha steaks. Visit OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off site wide during their semi annual sale and for an extra $35 off use promo code HOLIDAY at checkout. That's 50% [e-mail] and an extra $35 off with promo code holiday at checkout. Terms apply. See site for details.

[Jeffrey]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[Caller/Commentator]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Jeffrey]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me. So, Dana.

[Jessica]

Oh, no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly AT T Mobile get.

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[Caller/Commentator]

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[Jeffrey]

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[Jessica]

Nice.

[Hers Weight Loss Advertiser]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[Jeffrey]

T Mobile is the best place to.

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[Host]

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[Jeffrey]

So what are we having for launch?

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[Jessica]

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