Vault: First Legal Male Prostitute

Summary

The Bert Show
Vault: First Legal Male Prostitute
Date: June 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, The Bert Show team tackles a unique news story: the emergence of the first and only legal male prostitute in the United States, Marcus Bastin, working at Nevada's famous Shady Lady Ranch. Through candid discussion, honest skepticism, and plenty of humor, the hosts and listeners explore the gender dynamics of sex work, confidence versus competence, and how men and women perceive sexual expertise. The tone is playful and irreverent throughout, with authentic reactions and firsthand audience calls enriching the conversation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Marcus Bastin: America’s First Legal Male Prostitute

• The segment opens with a recap of the news story: Marcus Bastin, a former Marine, now works legally as a male prostitute at the Shady Lady Ranch in Nevada (01:41).
• He’s described as “5'9", 180 pounds,” and “available for $300 an hour” targeting women’s desires for “no strings romance.” (01:52, 02:02)
• Marcus likens his pioneering role to civil rights icons:

  “I'm basically doing what Rosa Parks did when she decided to sit up front on the bus...” (02:45 — Marcus Bastin)
  “For what Gandhi did when he had the sit-down protest... I'm basically trying to reset social norms.” (02:51 — Marcus Bastin)

• Hosts respond with incredulous laughter and banter, not entirely taking the grand comparison seriously.

  “You are kidding me.” (02:58 — Show Host)

2. Qualifications and Honesty: Sincerity or Red Flag?

• Marcus is candid about his lack of sexual experience:

  “No, I’ve only slept with three women my whole life.” (03:52 — Marcus Bastin)

• The hosts are openly critical of Marcus sharing this, suggesting it might be a turnoff for prospective clients:

  “If I was trying to give my resume as the male prostitute one, I wouldn't say that I had a failed attempt at porn... and that I've only slept with three women.” (04:17 — Jen)

• The conversation turns to whether honesty is the best policy in this line of work:

  “Like you’re at a strip club, women are going to lie to you about their past. This guy's being too honest.” (04:30 — Show Host)

3. Sexual Reputation: Self-Promotion vs. Word of Mouth

• The group explores whether men can effectively promote their own sexual skills, or if reputation is strictly built through clients’ testimonials.

• Jeff draws a comparison with other talents:

  “There are some guys that are more talented at playing baseball than other guys. That is true. So why can't this also go into the sex world?” (06:25 — Show Host)

• Wendy remains skeptical that men’s own self-assessments are meaningful:

  “If all those women were calling up and saying, yeah, this guy, this guy, this guy, then I would believe it. But a guy bragging about his own ability… you don't really know.” (06:45 — Wendy)

• Jen and Wendy agree reputation is best earned quietly:

  “People who talk a lot have to prove something… if somebody’s confident in that, then they don't have to say anything, they just prove it.” (10:08 — Jen)

4. Listener Reactions: Can Men Know If They’re Good?

• Jake, a caller, argues that you can know if you have a “special ability” because partners will tell you and keep coming back (05:44-06:21).
• The hosts debate whether men can ever be truly sure without feedback:

  “How can a guy be sure he's good in bed outside of the obvious of her, you know? Do they all always come back for more?” (07:35 — Show Host)

• Ashley, another caller, shares a story about a man lowering expectations before sex, calling it a major turnoff:

  “[He] just beg[ged] me for like 10 minutes not to judge him on that first performance before it even happened...” (11:22 — Ashley) “Not only did you have the worst exercise expectations going into it... then you didn't even know that it happened and it’s over.” (11:35 — Ashley) “I can’t think of a worse turn off than that of a guy saying, this isn’t gonna be good for you.” (11:49 — Show Host)

5. Signs of Skill: What Do Women Look For?

• Wanda, a listener, explains:

  “How you can tell a man is good is the woman would go nuts and want more right after, or they will always call up the guy... If it’s not good, then just, okay, see you later.” (10:20 — Wanda)

• Jen summarizes:

  “Yeah, she’ll follow with a lot of extra attention if you’re good.” (10:59 — Jen)

• The hosts agree the “return rate” is the real evidence:

  “If she comes back, she's not coming back to you if you're not good.” (11:04 — Show Host)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Marcus’s “Stud Farm:”

  “Here’s a stud farm. We call it a stud farm. Peacock ran.” (02:29 — Marcus Bastin)

• On honesty in sex work resumes:

  “He’s admitted, ‘I’m not that big. I’ve only been with three women. I look like this. I am the most average lover you’ll ever have.’” (05:21 — Jeff)

• On the importance of reputation:

  “You only, like, believe it based on reputation. There’s a guy that we know who has a reputation for being really good at that...” (09:31 — Wendy)

• On apologetic lovers:

  “All right, ladies, I'm so glad we're together for a night of great, beautiful medioc[rity].” (12:04 — Jeff, joking)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:41] — Show hosts introduce the story of the first legal male prostitute in Nevada.
• [02:15] — Marcus Bastin describes his mission and compares himself to civil rights leaders.
• [03:52] — Marcus admits he’s only slept with three women.
• [04:17] — Hosts and panelists discuss how honesty can hurt business for sex workers.
• [05:44] — Jake calls in, claiming special ability can be recognized despite limited experience.
• [06:25] — Metaphor: sex skills compared to baseball talent.
• [07:35] — Hosts question how men can truly know if they’re good in bed.
• [10:20] — Wanda, a listener, explains the cues women give when the sex is good.
• [11:22] — Ashley’s story about a man apologizing for poor performance before sex.
• [11:04–11:08] — Hosts summarize: “If she comes back, you’re good.”

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Summary

The episode delivers a funny, honest, and sometimes brutally candid look at legal male sex work, focusing on the double standards, gender expectations, and self-assessment versus real reputation in sexual performance. The Bert Show’s trademark authenticity and humor make the conversation accessible, while caller stories provide real-world perspective. The consensus? In sex as in business, skill is what brings customers back—so maybe actions (and return visits) speak louder than words.

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Transcript

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[Lady Luck]

guys, lady luck here. Are you going on any road trips this summer? I know I'm going to be going on a bunch of road trips and being that I'm going to be passenger princess, I Love playing on Spinquest.com Spinquest has all of my favorite slot games. Live blackjack, live craps. Head on over to Spinquest right now and get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Show Host]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. This is the Bird show. All right, so this is a news story. This is the first and only legal male prostitute in the US and this is Nevada.

[Jen]

Yeah, this is in Nevada. And it's the Shady lady ranch.

[Lady Luck]

The Shady Lady.

[Show Host]

Lucky Shady lady.

[Weight Loss Advertiser]

Shady lady.

[Narrator]

He's 5 9, 180 pounds, a former.

[Show Host]

Oh, you're bummed because he's only 5 9, aren't you? Aw, I saw the disappointment wash over you.

[Narrator]

He's 5 9, 180 pounds, a former Marine. And if you're a woman in search of no strings romance, Marcus Bastin can be all yours for $300 an hour.

[Marcus Bastin]

If she's willing to step through these doors, she'll have the best moment, hopefully that can provide for her in her

[Narrator]

entire life as a 25 year old. It's about more than just pleasing women. Here at the Shady lady brothel, two hours northwest of Las Vegas.

[Marcus Bastin]

Here's a stud farm. We call it a stud farm. Peacock ran.

[Narrator]

So this is where you bring the ladies.

[Marcus Bastin]

Yeah, of course.

[Narrator]

He's making history as the nation's first and only legal male prostitute here in Nevada, the one state in the country where paying for sex is allowed.

[Marcus Bastin]

I'm basically doing what Rosa Parks did when she decided to sit up front on the bus instead of the back.

[Jeff]

Oh, my God.

[Marcus Bastin]

For what Gandhi did when he's had the sit down protest, you know, against the British Embassy. You know, I'm basically trying to reset social norms.

[Show Host]

You are kidding me.

[Jeff]

That's awesome.

[Jen]

That's your man.

[Wendy]

Here's the problem. He's going to be broke because women don't have to pay for it.

[Narrator]

He's confident now and yes, size matters. What about your physical requirements?

[Marcus Bastin]

I'm well endowed, I'm above average. But women said, you know, if you're too big, it's very uncomfortable. So I'm riding the middle range.

[Narrator]

Beston is used to the scrutiny. He came to the Shady lady after a failed attempt at the porn industry left him homeless in Los Angeles.

[Marcus Bastin]

Now I have a place to stay. You know, I have people around me that care about me. I have an amiable mean of employment, so I would be taken care of. You know, I wouldn't have to sleep on the streets anymore.

[Narrator]

But for Beston, it's not all about the money.

[Marcus Bastin]

I thoroughly enjoy the presence of women. Women are like fine china.

[Narrator]

What makes you so qualified? Have you slept with a lot of women?

[Marcus Bastin]

No, I've only slept with three women my whole life.

[Narrator]

That doesn't make you question your ability or. Whoa, all these women are going to be.

[Jeff]

No.

[Marcus Bastin]

Lord, no.

[Narrator]

What do you hope a woman is feeling when she walks out of your bedroom at the end of the session?

[Marcus Bastin]

That she can go out into the world and put her shoulders back and say, wow, I cannot believe I can actually do this in America now.

[Narrator]

A hard sell from the lone gentleman in the world's oldest profession.

[Jeff]

You know, stuff with three women.

[Jen]

Well, first of all, I take back what I said about guaranteed to be good. Because if I was trying to give my resume as the male prostitute one, I wouldn't say that I had a failed attempt at porn.

[Show Host]

Right.

[Jen]

That's not good. And that I've only slept with three women.

[Jake]

Not good.

[Wanda]

Yeah.

[Show Host]

Here's the difference between guys and women. Like, you're at a strip club, women are going to lie to you about their past. This guy's being too honest.

[Jen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Show Host]

It was a failed porn star. I've only slept with three women.

[Wendy]

Don't.

[Show Host]

Honestly.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Narrator]

No, no.

[Jen]

Lie to me.

[Show Host]

Have you seen what this guy looks like?

[Jake]

I have not.

[Jen]

Neither has.

[Wendy]

I'm always skeptical, too. When a guy says I'm well endowed, you're like, really? What if you were? You might not. Is this the full deal?

[Jen]

This is the deal, Monty. Not the full Monty.

[Wendy]

Oh, ew. Gross. Really gross. Nobody is paying for that.

[Show Host]

I mean, he's got a rough helmet, but the rest of it's. I mean, he's 25.

[Ashley]

Really?

[Wendy]

He's got an okay body and he's got a cool tattoo, but I mean, put a paper bag over it.

[Jen]

Maybe that's just the bad picture.

[Wendy]

Throw it in.

[Jen]

No, that's the best I could find.

[Wendy]

And pulled that picture up.

[Jeff]

And he's. Admittedly, he's like, I'm not that big. I've only been with three women. I look like this. I am the most average lover you'll ever have.

[Show Host]

Well, he's only had like three or four clients so far, so somebody's paying

[Jake]

for it at this point.

[Jen]

He's making change, people. Didn't you hear what he said? He's making change.

[Wendy]

Really?

[Show Host]

Here's Jake. Good morning, Jake. You're on Q100.

[Weight Loss Advertiser]

Hi.

[Jake]

Hey.

[Show Host]

Hey.

[Jake]

About what he just said about how he's only been with three women. That might not be just all BS and stuff. I've only been with about five or six women in my life. From the very first time I did it, I realized that I had a special ability. Not because. Not just because of it. How they reacted, because of what they told me. They'd been with more guys than I'd been with women. And they made it pretty vocal to me that, hey, you're good. He might have that same ability. I don't know if he does or doesn't whatever, but some guys do just have it. I know I'm one of those guys

[Jeff]

who's gonna follow up with this Wendy or Jen.

[Thumbtack Advertiser]

So it's just gifted talent.

[Wanda]

Yeah.

[Jake]

Honestly, that's my only God given talent as far as I'm concerned.

[Show Host]

Look, I can. Here's where I can agree with you on this is like if we weren't talking about sex. Okay, let's say we were talking about baseball. There are some guys that are more talented at playing baseball. Than other guys. That is true. So why can't this also go into the sex world?

[Marcus Bastin]

Why?

[Show Host]

There are some guys that are just more talented in that area than other guys. And this guy may be a natural.

[Wendy]

He may be a natural, but the fact that he's saying it about himself makes you skeptical. If there were all. If all those women were calling up and saying, yeah, this guy, this guy, this guy, then I would believe it. But a guy bragging about his own ability, like, you don't really know. It's like, she knows, and he's on

[Jake]

the news trying to make money too.

[Show Host]

So, like, we've had women call the show here, Jake, that have faked it with their husbands for 20 years. Like, their husbands think they're fantastic. And these women have been disappointed for 20 years. So there may be a case. You just don't know or maybe are great at it.

[Jake]

It's possible. I don't know. And I mean, they could have all been this lying to me, But I think out of six girls, at least one of them would have been, like, looking disappointed, you know, they didn't have really. I mean, I wasn't in a relationship with them, so they didn't have to fake it too much, you know? I don't know. I'll see.

[Show Host]

How can a guy be sure he's good in bed outside of the obvious of her, you know? But, like, how can a guy be sure? Like, do they all always come back for more?

[Jake]

My ex girl, my last girlfriend did.

[Show Host]

So one of the five kept you around after the breakup just to have sex with you?

[Jeff]

I have a question for then.

[Show Host]

Maybe first one.

[Jeff]

Well, I have a question for Jen and Wendy, but you guys can answer this anonymously so nobody will know it's you guys.

[Jen]

Put it on the horse disguise.

[Show Host]

There he goes.

[Jeff]

Do. Does every guy think he's great?

[Show Host]

Oh, yes.

[Wendy]

Well, every guy wouldn't tell you.

[Lady Luck]

They're not.

[Jeff]

No, not beforehand. Like, when it's all done. Like, is there ever a situation where a guy says, my bad? I know I'm not awesome at that, but I hope that was good.

[Wendy]

Well, you a guy wouldn't say that, though.

[Jeff]

I know. That's what I'm saying. Like, does every guy finish that?

[Jen]

Do you think you're good, Jeff?

[Jeff]

Hell, come on.

[Jen]

Do you think you're good?

[Show Host]

I'll look at this from the other way. Like, I know that there are times when I'm not good, but she doesn't have to tell me. I know.

[Wendy]

Okay. Do you ever say anything about it?

[Jeff]

I know when you're not.

[Wendy]

Yeah, well. Cause you guys have been together so long, you're that comfortable with each other.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Show Host]

I'll say something like, I owe you one. I know I'll owe you one on that one.

[Jeff]

What's interesting about what you just said is I know when Burt's not good. Because Stacy tells me.

[Show Host]

You know what I mean?

[Jen]

But I think going back to what Bert said about the baseball analogy, if you had a guy come up to you, Bert, and say, you know what? I really. I'm good at baseball. I mean, I got a natural talent. I gotta tell you. I mean, you'd be skeptical. I agree with Jen. Like, if you say it about yourself.

[Wendy]

Say it about yourself. I'm just not so sure.

[Show Host]

Like, wouldn't it. His attitude would tell you more than his. His words, wouldn't it? Like, Southside is gonna come in here and he's gonna tell you he's the greatest lover in the world. Would you believe him based on his words or his attitude?

[Wendy]

No, neither. Neither. You would only. You only, like, believe it based on reputation. There's a guy that we know who has a reputation for being really good

[Jen]

at that and being is because women

[Wendy]

have said well endowed. And I would totally believe it because there are several women I know that's been with that dude that's told me that. And I'm like, wow, really? But the dude himself is very unassuming about that. Would never say that.

[Show Host]

Does he know that his references are as high as they are?

[Wendy]

I don't think he does.

[Jeff]

Really.

[Lady Luck]

I think.

[Jeff]

Are you talking about me?

[Jen]

I think that people who talk a lot have to prove something. And I'm sure that if somebody's confident in that, then they don't have to say anything, you know, they just prove it.

[Wendy]

Yeah, it's the more quiet types about it.

[Show Host]

Hey, Wanda. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Wanda]

Hey, how you guys doing?

[Show Host]

Okay. How are you?

[Wanda]

I love your show. Listen to you every day. Try to get other people to listen to you as well. Anyway, how you could tell a woman. I mean, a man is good. Is the woman would go nuts and, like, want more, you know, right after. Or they will, like, always call up the guy or. And if it's not good, then just, okay, see you later. You know, I must admit, I've had a few in my. And I can count on my hand that how many guys. And I've always, like, I'm always eager. If they call me, I'm like, I'm hoping that they're wanting to, you know,

[Jen]

hook up so she'll give you. So, yeah, she'll follow with a lot of extra attention if you're good.

[Show Host]

I think the sign is always if she comes back, she's not coming back to you if you're not good.

[Wendy]

Right, right, exactly.

[Jen]

I mean, it's no different. I mean, it's of the kiss we talked about earlier. I mean, as a kid and even as an adult, horrible kisser, then you don't want to come back for that. And so same with, you know, everything else. Right.

[Show Host]

Here's Ashley. Good morning. You are on Q100.

[Ashley]

Hey, guys. I had a guy apologize afterwards just, I mean, just beg me for like 10 minutes not to judge him on that first performance before it even happened. He said, you know, I haven't done this in a while. Which. So not only did you have the worst exercise expectations going into it, but then it was like when you get a shot and you're afraid that it's gonna hurt and then it just before you know it, you didn't even know that it happened and it's over. You don't even know what happened.

[Show Host]

I can't think of a worse turn off than that of a guy saying, this isn't gonna be good for you.

[Jen]

Yeah, you don't say it.

[Wendy]

You say it beforehand.

[Jen]

You don't say it beforehand.

[Ashley]

I'll be pleasantly surprised. I have never talked to him again.

[Jeff]

All right, ladies, I'm so glad we're together for a night of great, beautiful medioc.

[Jake]

Save that

[Show Host]

it's the first show.

[Lady Luck]

Hey, guys, lady luck here. Are you going on any road trips this summer? I know I'm going to be going on a bunch of road trips. And being that I'm going to be passenger princess, I love playing on spinquest.com Spin Quest has all of my favorite slot games. Live blackjack, live craps. Head on over to Spin Quest right now and get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Show Host]

So Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Thumbtack Advertiser]

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