Vault: Fool Proof Way To Meet New People

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Fool Proof Way To Meet New People

Date: October 27, 2025

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Overview

In this lively blast-from-the-past episode of The Bert Show, the cast resurrects their legendary “Fool Proof Embarrassment-Free Way to Meet New People” — the secret “Chiclets and Banaka” code. The segment blends personal anecdotes, playful banter, and an inspiring real-life love story from a listener whose romance (and recent engagement) all began with the show’s quirky, tongue-in-cheek method for breaking the ice with strangers.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Origin of the "Chiclets and Banaka" Method

[01:44-04:12]

• Hosts Bert and Jeff reminisce about their days as single guys, seeking ways to meet new people without facing outright rejection.
• The method originated during a lunch in Buckhead, when, as Jeff dramatically recounts:

  “We were touched by an angel...and that's when Bert and I came up with the humiliation-free way to meet that significant other.” (E, 02:39)

• The heart of the system: Instead of a direct come-on, approach someone and ask, “Do you have any Chiclets?”
  If the person says, “No, but I do have Banaka”—that’s the signal both are in on the joke and possibly share mutual interest.

  “Because nobody ever has Chiclets...and on top of that, nobody ever has Banaka.” (E, 03:54)

• This playful exchange provides an easy “out” (no embarrassment if declined) and acts as a gentle ice-breaker for fellow listeners.

2. Listener Summer’s Love Story

[04:12-06:44]

• Caller Summer shares her experience using "Chiclets and Banaka":

  “I saw this guy who was really, really...it’s not just that he was really attractive, but he had a sense about him....I never would have gone up to him ...but I thought, you know, all right, I can do this.” (D, 05:17)

• She nervously approached the stranger and delivered the code line:

  “Excuse me, do you have any Chiclets?” (D, 05:23)

• After a suspenseful pause, the man responded:

  “‘No,’ really slowly. And I thought, ‘oh no, I’ve blown it.’ And then he said, ‘but I do have some Banaka.’ Bam. And we just laughed.” (D, 05:31)

• The shared joke broke the ice; Summer and the man have been together since, leading up to a romantic birthday engagement where he presented her a Chiclets box—containing an engagement ring.

  “Across the table he had a Chiclets box. And he handed it to me...Open the box. And I did. And there was an engagement ring. And I’m happy to marry him.” (D, 06:15)

3. Hosts' Reflections and Signature Humor

[06:25-07:46]

• The hosts and Summer celebrate the story’s happy ending with bursts of laughter and mock-seriousness, marveling at the success of their once-mocked method:

  “You guys have helped me find the love of my life right on! Thank you so much.” (D, 06:25) “Shouldn't we be invited to the wedding now?” (E, 06:40)

• Summer promises front-row seats for Bert and Jeff.
• Bert asserts:

  “Chiclets and Banaka equals love. It’s our first Chiclets and Banaka wedding!” (C, 06:53; E, 06:55)

• The hosts joke about Nobel Peace Prizes and imagine future kids named “Banaka, Jeff, and Chiclets.”

  “The first kid's name is gonna be Banaka....Jeff and Chiclets.” (C & E, 07:36-07:40)

4. Bringing Back the Chiclets and Banaka Challenge

[07:43-07:46]

• Bert teases the idea of a show event—“Banaka and Chiclets night”—to revive the icebreaker technique and encourage more listeners to make connections.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On inventing the method:
  “We were touched by an angel...and that's when Bert and I came up with the humiliation-free way to meet that significant other.” (E, 02:39)
• Explaining its brilliance:
  “Because nobody ever has Chiclets...and on top of that, nobody ever has Banaka.” (E, 03:54)
• The magic in action:
  “Excuse me, do you have any Chiclets? ... ‘No, but I do have some Banaka.’ Bam. And we just laughed. And that broke the ice...” (D, 05:23 & 05:31)
• Celebrating love:
  “You guys have helped me find the love of my life right on! Thank you so much.” (D, 06:25)
• Hosts’ tongue-in-cheek:
  “They all laughed at us when we...submitted the forms for the Nobel Peace Prize. What did they do? They thumbed their noses at us.” (E, 07:05-07:11)
• Affirming the code:
  “Chiclets plus Banaka equals love.” (E, 04:53)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:44] – Show pivots to “Chiclets and Banaka” method origins
• [02:20 – 04:12] – Detailed explanation and demonstration
• [04:12] – Listener Summer’s call and story begins
• [06:01] – Summer describes her engagement
• [06:25] – Hosts and Summer celebrate, gratitude exchanged
• [07:11] – Hosts joke about their “Nobel-worthy” achievement
• [07:43] – Hosts suggest reviving the “Chiclets and Banaka” challenge/event

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Summary Conclusion

This episode is a joyful ode to creative connection, confidence, and the little inside jokes that can change lives. With its signature blend of humor and heart, The Bert Show proves why it’s a morning staple—and even offers an ingenious, lighthearted way to meet someone new, as told by a true listener love story.

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Transcript

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[Jeff]

Purchased the Bird show look, it wasn't so long ago that Jeff and I were single guys, so we understand how hard it is. So over lunch one day, Jeff and I came up with the Foolproof Embarrassment Freeway to meet new people. Good morning. Who's this?

[Summer]

Hi, this is Summer.

[Jeff]

Hello, Summer.

[Summer]

Good morning. How are you guys?

[Jeff]

Good morning. Thank you for listening to Q100. What's up?

[Summer]

Oh, I have some great news. I couldn't wait to tell you guys because you're actually involved.

[Jeff]

What's up sister?

[Summer]

Uh, oh, well, I've been listening to you guys for about six months. And I just love your show. It makes me laugh. But, you know the thing you do with the Chiclets and Bianca.

[Jeff]

Chiclets and banaka.

[Summer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff]

God, we haven't talked about that in a long time. Jeffrey. Hold on one sec. So I'm gonna reset that for people that don't know what that is.

[Burt]

Basically, over a lunch in Buckhead several months ago, Burt and I had, if you will, an epiphany.

[Jeff]

Can you trust this down? Can you just tell it, you know, it's brilliant.

[Burt]

Okay. You know, an epiphany might be too strong of a word. We were touched by an angel.

[Summer]

You can say epiphany.

[Jeff]

It's beautiful.

[Summer]

You were touched by an angel.

[Burt]

And what happened is we were sitting in the restaurant and clouds rolled in and it got dark. Except for one big spot where a beam of light shone down on our table where we were sitting. And that's when it happened. That's when Bert and I came up with the humiliation way, or the humiliation free way to meet that significant other.

[Jeff]

So here's the way to dress it down. I'd say at very best. At very best, Jeff and I are average looking guys. No offense.

[Summer]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

All right. So we're constantly trying to figure out ways or work. Constantly trying to figure out ways on how to approach women without getting that humiliating, you know, walk of shame thing going on after they turn you down.

[Burt]

So what happens is, if you're out at a club, a grocery store, church, daycare center, anywhere there's someone that you're interested in, you approach that person, you go up to him, and you would say, for example, I will do it. And don't get any wrong ideas, anyone, because I don't go this way. But I'm gonna do it with Bert. Cause he's the only support that I have in this room. Hey, excuse me, sir, do you have any Chiclets?

[Jeff]

No, I don't. But I do have banaka.

[Burt]

That is the key. Because immediately I know that he's interested in me. Do you know why, Kim?

[Jeff]

Why?

[Burt]

Because nobody ever has Chiclets.

[Summer]

Nobody ever.

[Burt]

And on top of that, nobody ever has banaka.

[Jeff]

Unless, like, you're over 65 years old and you're at Hal's on a Friday night.

[Burt]

So what happened is, if he had simply said no, I would have turned around and walked away. I'm not humiliated. I'm not upset. I just think he doesn't have any Chiclets.

[Jeff]

If you heard where there's Chiclets, anybody can come up and ask for gum.

[Burt]

But you say Chiclets.

[Jeff]

You have to say Chiclets. You understand where we're going with this yet?

[Summer]

Him.

[Jeff]

She's looking like, no, I don't get it yet.

[Summer]

But now let's just nod.

[Jeff]

Yes, absolutely.

[Burt]

Now let's say Bert looks at me and he has two huge revelations. One, I'm good looking. And two, he's gay. He says, responds back to me, with.

[Jeff]

A guy as good looking as you can make me gay.

[Burt]

Yeah, thank you. He says back to me, no, but I do have some banaka. There's your other code word.

[Jeff]

See, that way, you know you've got two people that listen to this morning show. They both know what the code is. So they make an instant match. Chiclets and banaka. Okay, did we explain that chicks. I think that's kind of.

[Burt]

This is the way it works. Chiclets plus banaka equals love.

[Jeff]

Okay, Summer now answered.

[Summer]

That's exactly what happened. Well, not exactly, but okay, so I've been listening to you guys for about six months. And this is about, I guess four months ago that this happened. I was out at a club one night with my girlfriends just having a good time. And I saw this guy who was really, really. It's not just that he was really attractive, but he had a sense about him that just seemed confident. And I never would have gone up to him.

[Jeff]

He had some mojo going on.

[Summer]

Yeah, because, you know, it's intimidating. But I thought, you know, all right, I can do this. I had one drink and he said. So I walked across the floor and casually danced up to him and I said, excuse me, do you have any chicklets? Oh, my God. He looked at me with the biggest surprise, I thought. And then he said, no. Really slowly. And I thought, oh, no, I've blown it. And then he said, but I do have some banana Bam. And we just laughed. And that broke the ice. Like we were able to have a really great time that night.

[Jeff]

That's what it's designed for, sister.

[Summer]

Yeah. And we've been together for the four months. And last night was my birthday. And for my birthday, he took me out to dinner. And across the table he had a chiclets box. And he handed it to me and he was like, this is your present. And I thought, oh, that's funny. Ha ha. And he said, no, open the box. And I did. And there was an engagement ring. And I'm happy to marry him.

[Jeff]

Are you a lady? Love America.

[Summer]

Oh, my God. You guys have helped me find the love of my life right On. Thank you so much.

[Burt]

So what did you say?

[Summer]

I said yes.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Jeff]

He said no. But I do have some bubble y'.

[Summer]

All.

[Jeff]

Well, that's awesome. Congratulations.

[Summer]

Thank you so much.

[Burt]

Shouldn't we be invited to the wedding now?

[Summer]

Well, of course we sit in the front row.

[Burt]

Shouldn't at least Bert and I be invited to the wedding?

[Summer]

Yes. I'll absolutely send your invitations.

[Jeff]

We've had our skeptics, but I think.

[Summer]

We have proven today, this is proof.

[Jeff]

Chiclets and Banaka equals love.

[Burt]

It's our first Chiclets in Banaka wedding.

[Jeff]

Awesome.

[Summer]

You guys are the best.

[Jeff]

Hey, Summer, stay in touch with us, okay?

[Summer]

I will. Absolutely.

[Jeff]

Thank you.

[Summer]

Thank you so much.

[Jeff]

You know, Jeff, they laughed at us.

[Burt]

They mocked us.

[Jeff]

They all laughed at us when we.

[Burt]

Submitted the forms for the Nobel Peace Prize. What did they do? They thumbed their noses at us.

[Jeff]

Now we're bridging the gap. So if there's someone out there that. It can happen anywhere. It could be at the qt. It could be at a Laundromat or a restaurant. You go up to them, you ask them or her if they have any Chiclets. Now, they're not gonna have any Chiclets. All right? But they may say no. But I do have Banaka. That's the key word to know that. Yes, I know what you're talking about, and I'm digging on you.

[Burt]

You know what? I'm getting a little tear in my eyes. Because a life might be created. Chiclets. And the Banaka.

[Jeff]

The first kid's name is gonna be Banaka. The first kid.

[Burt]

It's gonna be Burt. Jeff.

[Jeff]

Banaka. Jeff and Chiclets.

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[Jeff]

We gotta bring that back because it's been a while since we talked about that.

[Summer]

Sure.

[Jeff]

Maybe a Banaka and Chiclets night coming up here pretty soon. The bird show.

[Burt]

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[Jeff]

Got it from Verizon.

[Burt]

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[Jeff]

I never look so good.

[Summer]

You look the same.

[Jeff]

But with this camera, everything looks better. Especially me. You haven't changed your hair in 15 years. Selfies.

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