The Bert Show – Vault: Full Show PT 2: Friday, December 26 [Vault]

Date: December 26, 2025
Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Notable Cast This Episode: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and Ellen DeGeneres (guest)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers its signature blend of humor, authentic conversation, and community interaction. The morning show covers lighthearted relationship talk, a candid and inspiring interview with Ellen DeGeneres, and fiery listener debates about the Scott Peterson verdict. The show’s tone is real, witty, at times irreverent, and always welcoming to listener voices.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Is a Bad Kiss a Dealbreaker? (01:03–10:41)

• Segment Summary:
  The cast dives into a lively discussion: Is it justified to end a relationship after a single awful kiss? Listeners and hosts share personal stories and opinions.

• Notable Insights:

  • Chemistry in kissing matters to attraction and compatibility; many feel a truly bad kiss can kill romantic momentum early.
  • The possibility for “kissing improvement” gets debated—some believe people can improve, others are less optimistic.
  • Gender perspectives are shared, and lots of humor arises from frank stories of kissing disasters.

• Listener Stories:

  • Jennifer (Call-in, 04:50–06:12): Stayed with a bad kisser who improved over time after she subtly "showed him."
    • “I just kind of started taking control over the kissing situation… and it just got better.” (05:18, Jennifer)
  • Jonathan (06:47): Broke up with a woman due to a “spit overload” kiss that he found physically repulsive.
    • “…she had hawked up a lot of spit and rolled it into my mouth.” (07:00, Jonathan)
  • Mercedes (08:27): The kissing actually foreshadowed awkward sexual compatibility.
    • “He almost gave me a hysterectomy.” (08:54, Mercedes)
  • Cheryl (10:02): Dated a guy who’d lick her whole face.
    • “He would just take his tongue and just run it all over my face.” (10:25, Cheryl)

• Cast Quotes and Fun Moments:

  • “Have you ever had somebody… their tongue is so hard and forced down your mouth you just feel like you’re being abducted?” (05:51, Bert)
  • “It feels like Gene Simmons has got his tongue down your throat.” (06:12, Bert)
  • “I’m not a lollipop. Don’t lick my face.” (10:33, Co-host)

Memorable Moments:

• Comparing bad kissers to overeager poodles and horror stories about “the choker” or “lizard man” kissers.
• Discussion on whether celebrity on-screen kisses (Jude Law, Zach Braff) affect their perceived kissing prowess.

2. Interview with Ellen DeGeneres (10:58–18:20)

• Segment Summary:
  Ellen DeGeneres joins for a heartfelt conversation about coming out on her sitcom, processing tough life changes with humor, and why her talk show draws big-name guests.

• Key Insights & Quotes:

  • On Coming Out on Her Sitcom:
    • “If I’m coming out, the character should come out… it made sense because she never dated on the show.” (11:28, Ellen)
    • Ellen emphasizes it was a personal and professional risk:
      “You can cancel me and have your company worth a billion dollars… but I may lose my career, although I didn’t think I would.” (11:40, Ellen)
  • Using Humor to Tackle Difficulty:
    • “Life is really good for me… and if I have anything to complain about, I try to slap myself… I like making people feel good.” (12:56, Ellen)
    • On her comedy serving both her and her audience:
      “If I can do that for an hour… you’re forgetting whatever’s going on in your life or in the world, which is a pretty scary place right now.” (13:10, Ellen)
  • On Acceptance and Growth:
    • “I’m exactly the same person. I think I’m smarter and stronger… I’ve grown a lot and learned a lot. The focus isn’t on [sexuality] anymore.” (14:11, Ellen)
  • On Her Talk Show’s Appeal:
    • “Everybody that comes on… says, of all the shows they do, they look forward to this one and they have fun… I want them to feel comfortable.” (17:16, Ellen)

• Fun Pop Culture Crossovers:

  • Discussion about her voice acting as Dory in Finding Nemo.
    • “A lot of kids are huge fans because of Dory.” (15:18, Ellen)
  • Ellen explains her talk show’s unique vibe and why music, spontaneity, and authenticity matter.

Memorable Listener Call:

• A listener thanks Ellen for helping her family accept her coming out, underlining Ellen’s cultural impact.
  (10:58, Listener)

3. Scott Peterson Verdict & Listener Reactions (21:18–34:38)

• Segment Summary:
  The cast discusses Scott Peterson’s conviction and replays exchanges with a devoted Peterson supporter, Emily, who still maintains his innocence—even after the verdict. This segment is punctuated by heated, entertaining listener debates.

• Key Points:

  • Recap of the verdict: Scott Peterson found guilty of first-degree murder for Laci, and second-degree murder for their unborn child.
    • (21:24–22:05, Bert & Co-host)
  • The cast plays prior calls with Emily, a listener who’s written Peterson supportive letters and insists on his innocence based primarily on his looks and her intuition.
  • After Peterson is convicted, Emily refuses to accept the jury decision, blaming juror bias and conspiracy (26:08–27:01).
    • “The real killer’s still walking around free.” (26:08, Emily)
    • “A jury of his peers has said he is guilty, a jury had never been wrong in this country, huh?” (26:17, Bert & Emily)
  • Sceptical, frustrated listeners and the cast challenge Emily’s logic and point out contradictions in her reasoning.
    • “She was just going to spin everything that happened… to support her theory.” (24:11, Co-host)
    • “If I am totally, physically turned off, I cannot continue.” (07:54, Co-host, earlier in episode, but fits the combative tone)
  • Nicole, another passionate listener, calls in to challenge Emily, resulting in a boisterous exchange.
    • “You ain’t worried about no damn body but your horny ass hormone that can’t find a regular man!” (31:23, Nicole)
  • The cast reflects on the circular, conspiracy-leaning nature of Emily’s arguments and the emotional toll of high-profile cases on the public.

Memorable Moments:

• The producers promise Emily one final call after the verdict—a pledge fulfilled for pure drama.
• Emily’s unwavering support for Peterson, regardless of the verdict, draws both criticism and incredulous laughter from the cast and listeners.
• A lighthearted suggestion for a “boxing match” between Nicole and Emily closes the segment with typical show humor.
  • “Me and Emily in the ring, no holds barred. My money’s on you, Nicole.” (34:29, Cast)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |--------|------------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:07 | Host | “Is it justified to break up with a guy or a woman based on a kiss that is so bad that you can't go on with the relationship?” | | 05:18 | Jennifer | “I just kind of started taking control over the kissing situation… and it just got better.” | | 06:12 | Host | “It feels like Gene Simmons has got his tongue down your throat.” | | 07:00 | Jonathan | “She had hawked up a lot of spit and rolled into my mouth.” | | 08:54 | Mercedes | “He almost gave me a hysterectomy.” | | 11:28 | Ellen DeGeneres | “If I’m coming out, the character should come out… it made sense…” | | 13:10 | Ellen DeGeneres | “If I can do that for an hour… you’re forgetting whatever’s going on in your life or in the world, which is a pretty scary place right now.” | | 14:11 | Ellen DeGeneres | “I’m exactly the same person. I think I’m smarter and stronger and I can look back on some things…” | | 17:16 | Ellen DeGeneres | “Everybody that comes on… says, of all the shows they do, they really look forward to this show and they have fun.” | | 21:24 | Host | “Scott Lee Peterson guilty of the crime of murder of Lacey Denise Peterson… and baby Connor Peterson.” | | 24:11 | Co-host | “She was just going to spin everything that happened… to support her theory.” | | 26:08 | Emily | “The real killer’s still walking around free.” | | 31:23 | Nicole | “You ain’t worried about no damn body but your horny ass hormone that can’t find a regular man!” | | 34:29 | Cast/Nicole | “Me and Emily in the ring, no holds barred. My money’s on you, Nicole.” |

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bad Kiss Breakup Debate: 01:03–10:41
• Ellen DeGeneres Interview: 10:58–18:20
• Scott Peterson Verdict & Emily’s Calls: 21:18–34:38

Takeaways

• The Bert Show’s signature real talk and listener participation provides both relatable relationship stories and a platform for strong opinions—hilariously and honestly.
• Ellen DeGeneres offers both wisdom and warmth on being authentic in the public eye, fighting for representation, and finding joy in making others feel good.
• The Scott Peterson segment encapsulates how divisive true crime cases can polarize communities and generate passionate debate, with the show serving as a safe space for all voices—even the most stubborn ones.
• Listeners are encouraged to laugh, relate, and occasionally cringe, as the cast (and its community) leans into the messiness of real life.

For more, engage with The Bert Show daily and join the conversation!