The Bert Show – “Vault: Get Married Amy”

Date: November 3, 2025
Host: Bert & The Bert Show Cast (Pionaire Podcasting)
Theme: Exploring the quirky and honest pursuit of love through the story of Amy — a single woman who’s fully planned her wedding, every detail ready… except for the groom.

Episode Overview

In this lively and humorous episode, The Bert Show revisits listener Amy, whose candid admission sparks both laughter and genuine conversations about dating expectations, timelines, and fantasies around marriage. Amy isn’t in a relationship (hasn’t been for over four years), yet she has everything set for her dream wedding: location, photographer, florist, and even future children's names. The show dives deep into what drives someone to prepare so fully, how honestly sharing these hopes affects dating prospects, and whether men are really as scared of commitment as stereotypes suggest.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meet Amy: The Woman with Everything Planned but the Groom

• Amy called in to admit she’s thoroughly planned her wedding without even being in a current relationship.
• She's got:
  • Location, photographer, and florist (with informal agreements).
  • A list of children’s names picked out.
  • Flexibility with date and some venue/location specifics.
• Quote:

  “You guys are really gonna love this one. I have the location, the photographer, the florist. I even have the children's names picked out. And I'm not even in a relationship. Haven't been in one in over four years.”
  – Amy (01:13)

2. Is This Unusual? Fantasy vs. Planning

• The hosts debate whether Amy’s planning is really so “out there.”
• Many women (and some men) keep Pinterest boards and lists of wedding ideas, but Amy’s specificity stands out.
• Quote:

  “To me you don't sound any different than most women... I think most women, even if they're not married or even have a boyfriend, have the same ideas.”
  – Host (03:38)

• On the flip side:

  “I think there's a difference between having like, an idea and, like, the person in your address book... me saying, honey, I love you. But it is this florist, period. It is this photographer.”
  – Amy (03:58)

3. The “Timeline” Debate — Is Amy Rushing?

• Hosts press Amy on whether her preparedness indicates a pressure to marry soon.
• Amy insists she’s not on a strict timeline but would prefer to be married in the next three years.
• Honest female conversation about the rarity of women truly living “without a timeline.”
• Quote:

  “Do you think Amy's different because she's just so honest and open about it? And most women hide it.”
  – Host (05:59)

• Quote:

  “I would definitely love to be married in three years. If it doesn't happen, it's not going to kill me or crush me, but I'm also not looking to just meet the husband right away.”
  – Amy (07:31)

4. The Male Perspective: Are Men Really Scared Off?

• Hosts open phone lines to gauge male reactions.
• The consensus: honesty is refreshing and not necessarily a deal-breaker.
• Stereotypes discussed about men's commitment issues and fear of entering a “pre-made” plan.
• Quote:

  “In a guy's mind... it's no different. Like, in listening to you say that you were making notes along the way before you even had a boyfriend. To me, it's no different than her story.”
  – Host (05:20)

• Quote:

  “We all live... with the notion that women are ready to marry at all times. That's how we think you think. We just don't want to hear about it.”
  – Host (08:21)

5. Amy’s Dating Preferences & Dealbreakers

• Age: About to turn 34.
• Career: Consultant in recruiting/human resources.
• Looks: Sometimes compared to Drew Barrymore (“but it's a stretch”).
• Dating priorities: Flexible, but dog lover and water enthusiast preferred.
• Dealbreakers: Open to dating men with kids, but prefers kids younger than 8-10.
• Quote:

  “The main thing is they must love dogs and definitely enjoy water. Being on water, water sports, that type thing. So as long as he can swim and he likes a dog, I'm open.”
  – Amy (11:15)

6. Listener Reactions: Eligible Bachelors Call In

Douglas (09:25–13:01)

• Not scared off by Amy’s readiness.
• Experienced in Atlanta dating; her planning seems mild compared to other “dating baggage.”
• Recently divorced, 35, no kids.
• Quote:

  “If that's the craziest thing that she has ever done or has about her, then I have no problem with that.”
  – Douglas (09:46)

• Amy’s "Bell South moms” (her work moms) are cheering her on.

Carlos (14:00–16:45)

• Calls from Mexico, energetic and humorous.
• Open about wanting an “American wife.”
• The hosts debate the authenticity of his intentions but are charmed by his personality.
• Quote:

  “Because I've been looking for American wife for a long time now.”
  – Carlos (14:22)

John (16:49–18:18)

• Lighthearted finale call; jokes around with Amy about her future kids’ names.
• Amy confirms she has specific names in mind: Whit Carlton, Delt, Macon, Mason, McCullough, Sadie Bell.
• Hosts poke fun at “Sadie Bell” (saying it sounds like a cow or a sheep name), but Amy stands by it — it’s a family tradition.
• Quote:

  “Well, I know I have, like, five friends with dogs named Sadie.”
  – Amy (17:49)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Description | |-----------|---------|-------------------| | 01:13 | Amy | “I have the location, the photographer, the florist... I even have the children's names picked out. And I'm not even in a relationship.” | | 03:58 | Amy | “I think there's a difference between having an idea and, like, the person in your address book...” | | 05:59 | Host | “Do you think Amy's different because she's so honest and open about it? And most women hide it.” | | 07:31 | Amy | “I would definitely love to be married in three years. If it doesn't happen, it's not going to kill me or crush me...” | | 09:46 | Douglas | “I've dated girls with lots of baggage, lots of crazy things. If that's the craziest thing she has ever done, I have no problem with that.” | | 11:15 | Amy | “The main thing is they must love dogs and definitely enjoy water...” | | 17:35 | Amy | “Girls would be like McCullough. Sadie Bell. Those are the names.” | | 18:09 | Host | (Joking) “Sadie Bell Gonzalez Rodriguez.” |

Structure & Flow of the Episode

• A listener’s honesty sparks active debate and laughter: Amy’s unique level of preparedness is alternately normalized and poked fun at.
• The conversation weaves through earnest discussion (timelines, women’s honesty, dating fears) and comic bits (poke at kids names, “Bell South moms,” Carlos’s quest for an “American wife”).
• The setting becomes playful but always circles back to Amy’s openness and sincerity, with the hosts ultimately admiring her approach.

Final Takeaways

• Amy’s story resonates with both men and women: much of what she shares is not so unusual, just more open and detailed than most people are comfortable admitting.
• The honesty in dating: While Amy’s situation is extreme, the show highlights how refreshing and attractive honesty can be, and how stereotypes about men and women can be more nuanced than we assume.
• Hosts give Amy genuine support: “You really don’t sound that crazy. You just sound honest.” (12:10)

Episode ends with Amy being put on hold to connect with her suitors — and the promise that The Bert Show will check in again soon.