Vault: Have His Kids Become Too Jaded by Privilege?

Summary

Podcast Summary – The Bert Show

Episode Title: Vault: Have His Kids Become Too Jaded by Privilege?
Air Date: June 1, 2026

---

Main Theme

This episode centers around Bert's concern that his young children, particularly his seven-year-old son, may be losing appreciation for the meaning of occasions like Christmas due to privilege and abundance. The discussion explores parenting challenges, gratitude, gift-giving, and whether age, upbringing, or daily habits shape a child’s sense of appreciation.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Bert’s Parenting Concerns and Christmas Morning Reflections

• [01:30] Bert opens up about feeling uncertain in his parenting due to the unhealthy environment he was raised in. He expresses joy in creating a magical Christmas morning but is disheartened by his son's lack of gratitude and quick dismissal of gifts.
• Bert:

  "There just doesn't seem to be like any real appreciation for the thing...like he doesn't. You don't realize that there were a whole bunch of families again this year that had like one present or zero presents." ([03:51])

• He worries that he and his wife are raising “spoiled kids,” and feels “empty” watching the focus shift from the meaning of Christmas to sheer acquisition.

2. Coaching Gratitude – When and How?

• [04:32] Jen suggests that in-the-moment corrections can be made during occasions like Christmas, transforming gift-giving into a teachable moment without "crushing their excitement."

  "There's an opportunity for learning in any sort of moment, in any sort of celebrating. And it's not about telling your kid...he's a bad kid. It's just directing, and redirecting where he's taken that." ([05:00])

• Bert admits hesitance, not wanting to play the “Grinch” or repeat the harshness he experienced as a child, leading him to avoid interjecting on the holiday.

3. Caller Perspectives on Gratefulness and Discipline

• [06:27] Rachel (caller) shares personal experience, advocating for firm, consistent teachings about gratitude—even suggesting removal of gifts when appreciation isn’t shown:

  "If they aren't [grateful], then you take it away from them and they don't get anything at all." ([06:54])

• Rachel attributes her son's ability to give away toys to another child to “strict morals” taught throughout the year, emphasizing consistency.

4. Age Versus Teaching – When Does Gratitude Sink In?

• [07:59] Jenna (caller) supports the idea of modeling gratitude year-round but believes some entitlement is “an age thing."

  "We were all kids at one time...it's an age thing. With age, they will become more appreciative." ([08:02])

• She cautions against punitive “shock treatment” and recommends teaching gratitude in anticipation of gift-giving events.

5. Service and Perspective as Tools for Empathy

• [10:13] Another caller proposes introducing service projects, like visiting a shelter or donating gifts, as a way for children to witness and better understand those less fortunate:

  "Take him to a shelter, do something on Christmas day, like feed the homeless. Give...one gift that he gets for Christmas, have him donate one of those." ([10:13])

6. Family Dynamics and Gift-Giving Approaches

• [11:30] A caller with a younger brother outlines her family’s adjustment—limiting the volume of gifts and having honest conversations about appreciation. She notes that it wasn’t until her brother was older (age 11) that these lessons really started to resonate.

  "[My mom] just kind of said, you know, it really is hurtful when you, you know, don't...savor the magic of each gift." ([11:42])

7. The Role of Family Rituals and Modeling Behavior

• [12:04] Jim points out that appreciation stems from “seeing a contrast," i.e., only after experiencing “less” can one appreciate “more.”
• Jim and Bert discuss how some gifting rituals, like opening gifts sequentially, don't necessarily teach patience or appreciation, as most recipients revert to focusing on their own gifts regardless.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert, reflecting on the struggle:

  “I just felt empty about it again. Like, I’m excited that he’s excited by what he’s getting, but there just doesn’t seem to be any appreciation of what the day is all about.” ([04:05])

• Jen, on redirecting without crushing joy:

  “Even though it’s a big, joyous, momentous occasion, there’s still learning moments, I think, throughout that.” ([05:02])

• Rachel (caller), on consistency:

  “Because we have done it through the years...on Christmas morning, he was grateful for the little things that he did get.” ([07:01])

• Jenna (caller), on teaching over time:

  “If you teach ahead of time and just consistently teaching them to be grateful for things, stopping them on Christmas and saying...[if] you’re not appreciative, I don’t think they’re at an age to really understand.” ([09:17])

• Service project suggestion:

  “Take him to a shelter, do something on Christmas Day, like feed the homeless.” ([10:13])

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bert’s Opening Dilemma & Parenting Doubts: [01:30] – [04:31]
• Discussion on Teachable Moments during the Holidays: [04:32] – [05:56]
• Callers Share Their Strategies (Rachel, Jenna, Younger Brother’s Sister): [06:27] – [12:04]
• Analysis of Gift-Opening Rituals & Lasting Impact: [12:04] – [12:56]

---

Overall Tone & Flow

The conversation remains reflective, earnest, and humorous, balancing Bert's vulnerability as a parent with practical suggestions and shared parental anxieties among the hosts and callers. The hosts maintain an authentic and relatable atmosphere, openly examining the discomfort of privilege and the universal parental wish to raise grateful, empathetic children.

---

Takeaway

Parents—regardless of background—struggle to instill gratitude in children when abundance is present. Suggestions include consistently modeling gratitude, having family discussions, adjusting rituals, setting limits, and exposing children to perspectives of need through service. While some entitlement may be inevitable at young ages, intentional, ongoing teaching and real-world context are seen as most effective in raising appreciative kids.

Transcript

[Rachel]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spin Quest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Jake Stauch]

Jake I'm Jake Stauch, co founder and CEO of Cervel. We built Servl to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding password resets, access to applications. My laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. It desperately wants to automate this work and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English and it's built. No drag and drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Cerval, it becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run it. We guarantee you'll automate 50% of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four week pilot. Go to cervel.com tickets that's S-E-R-V-A L.com tickets.

[Bert]

The Bird Show I had the same sediment this year.

[Jim]

Yes.

[Bert]

On Christmas morning that I had last year. And I think what I'm asking for here is some advice from parents that have children that are like, I don't know, five, six, seven years old. My foundation is really kind of, it's not, it really isn't very strong as far as parenting goes. Because I was raised in such a jacked up, unhealthy environment that I'm always a little bit timid on parenting and making judgments when it comes to family because I was just raised up in such a bad family environment that I don't know what's right sometimes and what's wrong. But here's what I do know over the last two years and I, and I don't know if I'm just being too hard or not, is that, you know, you wake up on Christmas morning and initially Christmas morning is awesome because Santa came the night before, there is snow still on the carpet from when Santa dropped off the presents. There are all these new presents. The carrots have been eaten by the Reindeer and they're all over our living room. The cookies have been half eaten by Santa. That's exciting for my son, Hollis and Hayden too. The milk has been chugged down. Santa did his job. So it's really exciting.

[Jen]

It's magic.

[Bert]

It's. There is nothing better than waking up on Christmas morning with a two year old and a seven year old when Santa has been there and seen their excitement and videoing it there is. That part of Christmas is fantastic. Here's the same problem this year I had last year, man, is like the ripping open of the Christmas presents. The I don't care about the cards that come along with the presents. It's spending six seconds with one present and not even appreciating it until you get to the next one. And then the words I want or what's next? Or I wanted this in a different color. I just sat there again and I'm trying to be like, I'm not trying to be the Grinch here, but I guess I'm looking for some appreciation of what the morning was supposed to be about and not just the superficial ripping through everything. And I didn't get it again this year. And I'm wondering if I'm being too hard, if my expectation is set just too high. He's seven years old is who I'm talking about is Hayden. There just doesn't seem to be like any real appreciation for the thing. Like he doesn't. You don't realize that there were a whole bunch of families again this year that had like one present or zero presents. And this is partly my fault and partly my wife's fault that I'm nervous that we're raising spoiled kids. And again, I don't know. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this whole thing except to say I just felt empty about it again. Like, I'm excited that he's excited by what he's getting, but there just doesn't seem to be any appreciation of what the day is all about. I don't know that we said the word Jesus three times on Christmas morning, two times on Christmas morning.

[Jen]

I was just wondering, is there a way to stop along the way and correct him on some of those things? Like, oh, I didn't want it in this color. And to be able to stop and say something like, well, Hayden, somebody got it for you in this color and like, you should appreciate that. Like, is there a way to sort of coach it along the way or you don't feel like because you didn't grow up where there were big Christmases and that kind of thing. Like, you don't feel like you can interject there.

[Bert]

See, this is where I'm totally on a foundation of. I don't know, because I feel like.

[Jen]

I mean, certainly was a long time ago when I was a kid doing all that stuff. But I. I would feel like my parents would have, like, interrupted and corrected me on that and stopped me sort of in my tracks there. And I think that's okay for you to do. Even though it's a big, joyous, momentous occasion, there's still learning moments, I think, throughout that. But, I mean, you may have to ask other parents because I'm sure other parents feel the same way as you do and you don't wanna sort of, like, crush their excitement and their spirit on the day by disciplining them. But I think there's an opportunity for learning in any sort of moment, in any sort of celebrating. And it's not about. It's not about telling your kid that. It's. That he's a bad kid. It's just directing, you know, and redirecting where he's taken that. It's like, hey, wait, let's stop and think about this for a second. This is a really great blue, whatever it is, ipod rather than a green ipod. And, like, you know, you can appreciate it for what it is. And, you know, maybe blue's better than what you originally. I don't know, like, feel like there's a coaching moment in there somewhere.

[Bert]

And I guess I felt like, look, this is a. This is. This is a no Grinch zone right here. Let them do what they're gonna do. And I didn't have any interaction with them as far as that stuff goes. I didn't use it as that moment. But again, I'm so unsure.

[Caller with younger brother]

Mm.

[Bert]

Because I wasn't raised in a family that parented properly. That I'm not sure. But what I do know is I was raised in a family with a father that was really hard on his children. So I'm always a little bit sensitive about being too hard. So I don't know. I don't know what the answer is to it. Hey, Rachel. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Rachel]

Good morning. Well, I feel that you need to be harder. I had the same situation. I have a stepdaughter who is very

[Caller with younger brother]

ungrateful for anything that she gets.

[Rachel]

And then I had my son who, on his birthday gave away his new birthday toys to a less fortunate child.

[Caller with younger brother]

Wow.

[Rachel]

And the reason is. Is because we are so hard on him, and we have these strict morals that we teach him that you have to teach in a daily life to where they can understand that what they're getting, they need to be grateful for. And if they aren't, then you take it away from them and they don't get anything at all.

[Bert]

Do you teach that lesson on Christmas morning?

[Rachel]

Well, because we have done it through the years. He's five now. He just turned five in November. And because we've taught him this through the years, on Christmas morning, he was grateful for the little things that he did get.

[Bert]

Yeah. And this is maybe where I'm going wrong throughout the year.

[Jen]

Maybe it's wording it, like, as a we thing. Maybe it's like, we don't say those things when we get gifts. What we say is, fill in the blank here. You know, like, giving them, like, another. This is not what we do when we get a gift, you know, and we take a moment and we appreciate it and we thank the person that gave it to us and we enjoy it for a minute. And you know what I'm saying? Like, I think there's a way you can set the tone for that.

[Jim]

Is it just me, or was it the fact that the stepdaughter was the ungrateful one in the.

[Jen]

Of course. Yeah.

[Jim]

I mean, I see what you're hearing. I see what you're saying, Jim, but I think she just was trying to. I didn't even pick up on that kid.

[Jen]

Anyway, I don't think she liked the step kid. Yeah, her son was an angel, of

[Jim]

course, gave away to the less fortunate.

[Bert]

Hey, Jenna. Good morning.

[Caller with younger brother]

Well, first, I just want to say

[Jenna]

I love you guys. I listen to you every morning.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Jenna]

And I agree with what Jen said a little bit. As far as, you know, you do need to teach it. And I like the whole idea of saying we, but I think it needs to be taught before Christmas. You know, when Santa comes or when you get gifts from other people, you need to appreciate it. You know, I think that's great, but we were all kids at one time, and I think that it's an age thing. With age, they will become more appreciative. My sister is a lot younger than I am. She's seven years younger than I am, and we grew up with the same thing, thinking, oh, gosh, she's so spoiled. She's always complaining, wrong color, wrong gift. I wanted that one and not this one, or why didn't I get them both? And, you know, I think it's an Age thing, it's that, you know, everybody at that age is gonna, oh, this is, you know, they get excited, but they want it and they want another color, they want something else. And then we all know that, you know, two days later, they love what you gave them anyway.

[Bert]

And at what age do you start teaching the thank you and appreciation? Because, I mean, they get sort of a pass the first three years for sure. Is it at four years you start teaching thank you and stopping and watching everybody else open up their presence. Is that five? Is it seven? To me, it's too, like, I failed. It's just too late at this point.

[Jenna]

Well, I don't really think there's an age on. I think I have an 8 month old now. And I think that we'll, you know, watching how my sister was and how you're saying your kids are and everything, I think that you always teach. Thank you. You're welcome. You know, yes, please. Those kind of things. But just like Jen was saying, if you teach ahead of time, even before a birthday, before Christmas, before any kind of gift thing, we need to be thankful and grateful for everything that we get. And if somebody gets you something, we need to appreciate it. And if you teach it ahead of time and just consistent, consistently teaching them to be grateful for things, then stopping them on Christmas and saying, like the last caller said, I'm going to take all this away from you because you're not appreciative. I don't think they're at an age to really understand that they're being like that.

[Bert]

Like, I feel like he almost needs like some shock treatment. Like he understands the concept that there are others that don't have what he has on Christmas morning, but he's never seen it.

[Caller suggesting service project]

What about a service project then? Take him to a shelter, do something on Christmas day, like feed the homeless. Give, I mean, one gift that he gets for Christmas, have him donate one of those. Then you can see how important it is.

[Bert]

Hey, Leslie, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Rachel]

Good morning, Bert. How are you?

[Bert]

Good, thank you.

[Jenna]

Great.

[Caller with younger brother]

I was calling to comment because it's funny, I'm actually experiencing the same thing with my younger brother. And my mom and I got into a really heated debate over it this, like this past Christmas because, you know, I told her in Christmases, like in the past, she, you know, doesn't seem to really, you know, like, stop him when he does that. So like I explained to her, I was like, you know, it really feels terrible when, you know, I. But, you know, it's Even my gift. It's not just the gift that Santa brings. It's my gift that I really feel terrible that my husband and I would go and, you know, spend all this money on these lavish gifts. And, you know, I'm sitting there trying to tell her, like, mom, you know, can you talk to him this year and just kind of tell him, you know. You know, you need to kind of stop at each gift and, you know, make sure that you make a comment about it or. Oh, cool. You know, this is really nice. Or, you know, I'm really excited to play with this one. So this year, what we decided to do is we decided to just give fewer gifts. Like, we gave, like, maybe three. And my mom did have a conversation with him and just kind of said, you know, it really is hurtful when you, you know, don't, I guess, savor the magic of each gift. Like, now he's. Now he's 11, so he kind of is able to understand. But I remember probably for the past three or four years in a row, my mom and I have been really at it. You know, I explained to her how I felt, and she kind of relayed that to my brother.

[Jim]

But, yeah, I mean, I think it is true, Bert, like you said, you know, they don't know appreciation, because appreciation comes from seeing a contrast or something. But one thing I picked up on that we kind of breezed over. So do they all open gifts at the same time?

[Bert]

No, it's. We're sitting around in a circle, and it's Hayden's turn, then it's Thomas turns. Yeah, but forget about it, man. I mean, they've got their hands in their own thing. When, like. Yeah, when Mom's opening up her presence, they already got their hands on their own. It's just like, this big.

[Jim]

That doesn't go away because my mother does control that. My mother does that. You gotta control it, because Millie Pete. And I'm calling her out. Millie Pete in Nashville, Tennessee, I mean, is already breaking the seal on the tape on the side of her box when she's. There's two other people before her that's gotta open a gift before her.

[Bert]

Nobody's even paying attention.

[Jim]

And now, see, now that she's 80, she can. Oh, senility, you know, like, oh, I'm senile. You know, I don't know what I'm doing. But, yeah, you've known what you've done all my life.

[Bretzky]

Get it?

[Spin Quest Announcer]

The bird show.

[Bretzky]

What's up, everybody? It's Bretzky. And America is turning 250, and I can't think of a better way to celebrate that than playing on an American owned social casino. Spinquest.com with all of your favorite games live crabs, bubble craps, live blackjack, there's no better place to play for free and win real cash prizes. Spinquest.com

[Spin Quest Announcer]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spendquest.com for more details.

[USAA Announcer]

If you your parent or spouse served in the military, you could join our family. Our members saved an average of $70 a month on auto insurance when they switched. Tap the banner or visit usaa.com join today to check your eligibility. Restrictions apply.