Vault: He doesn't think he's cut out for baseball.

Summary

Episode Overview

Main Theme:
In this episode, the cast discusses a personal parenting struggle: how to support a child who feels inadequate at baseball and is considering quitting. The conversation revolves around encouragement, realistic expectations, and how parents decide when to push their kids to stick with a challenge or let them move on. It touches on broader themes of self-esteem, childhood sports, social pressures on boys, and what it means to "not be a quitter."

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Struggles with Baseball & Self-Esteem

• Worsening Performance:
  The host (a father) shares that his son Hayden is struggling more with baseball as the season progresses. He skipped T-ball, so he's behind other kids who have played for years. Hayden, like his parents, gets frustrated when he's not immediately good at something.
  (00:35–00:53)

• Difficult Comparisons & Heartbreak:
  After a game where another kid, Nolan, excelled, Hayden stands next to him and says, "Maybe I'll be in the loser hall of fame."

  • Quote:

    "And Hayden was standing right next to him. And Hayden says to me this was the end of the game. And he says, and maybe I'll be in the loser hall of fame." (02:07, Parent)

  • The admission is treated as a self-deprecating joke, but it breaks his dad’s heart.
    (02:18–02:56)

• Parental Advice & Self-Reflection:
  The host acknowledges the challenge of giving advice—advice he also needs to hear himself:

  • Quote:

    "It's so funny, the hypocritical words that come out of your mouth when you're giving advice to your kids because you can almost hear yourself giving you advice to your inner child." (00:53, Parent)

  • In the car post-game, the father tries to emphasize fun and effort over immediate results, and admits that not practicing together enough is partially his own fault.
    (03:12–03:40)

The Value of Perseverance vs. Knowing When to Quit

• When to Stick With It:
  The group discusses the delicate balance—when to encourage a child to see something through versus respecting their desire to quit. The father worries about setting a precedent of quitting whenever something gets hard:

  • Quote:

    "I just don't like setting the precedent that you got to at least play it out. Try. And let's see, before you make the decision that you just don't want to play anymore because you're not good." (05:09, Parent)

  • He’s honest: if Hayden wants to quit baseball, he may have to return to soccer.
    (04:46–05:07)

• Talent vs. Enjoyment:
  Is the issue that Hayden lacks athletic ability or just doesn't enjoy it? One co-host notes,

  "Some people just don't like it. Like, I never. I played two years of baseball... but I. Besides that, I just didn't care for sports. Yeah, I think it was like an ADD thing." (07:44, Friend)

Social Pressure Around Childhood Sports

• Expectations for Boys:
  The father observes how adults automatically ask young boys about sports, highlighting entrenched social expectations:

  • Quote:

    "I didn't realize this until I saw adults talking to my seven year old... the icebreaker for an adult to a young boy is, so, are you playing any sports?... Adult men, when they're introduced to a kid ...they don't say, what are you into?" (08:02, Parent)

  • The group reflects on how sports are the “common language” among men, which then trickles down into expectations for boys.
    (08:30–08:43)

• Alternatives to Team Sports:
  Gymnastics is suggested as an alternative for kids who may be less traditional athletes or smaller for their age.
  (06:40–07:24)

Parental Uncertainty

• No Clear Blueprint:
  The host honestly doubts that any parent is ever certain about these choices, stating:

  "I wonder if there's any parent that really felt like they had it down with their first kid. Like, I got this, man, all these decisions are so easy because for me, I'm constantly hitting it from every angle." (08:45–09:12, Parent)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "And Hayden says to me... maybe I'll be in the loser hall of fame." (02:07, Parent)
• "You gotta stop putting this kind of pressure on yourself. This is the fourth game you've ever played, man." (02:28, Parent, advice to Hayden)
• "I just don't like setting the precedent that... you just quit because you're not good." (05:09, Parent)
• "You can see like this social gender pressure on kids early, though, because... the icebreaker for an adult to a young boy is, so, are you playing any sports?" (08:02, Parent)

---

Important Timestamps

• 00:30–01:15: Setting up Hayden’s struggles with baseball, frustration from not being good at something right away
• 02:07: Hayden’s heartbreaking “loser hall of fame” comment
• 03:12–03:40: The father’s car talk with Hayden about persistence, fun, and shared responsibility
• 04:46–05:09: Dilemma: when to encourage sticking it out vs. allowing to quit
• 06:43–07:24: Discussion of gymnastics as an alternative for kids who aren't thriving in traditional team sports
• 08:02–08:43: Social pressure on boys to play sports; how it becomes a default icebreaker
• 08:45–09:12: Honest reflection on the uncertainty of parenting decisions

---

Tone and Takeaways

The conversation is candid, empathetic, and laced with the Bert Show’s trademark humor. The hosts are open about their own insecurities and uncertainties as parents, the tension between wanting kids to persevere and not forcing them into things they're not passionate about, and the pervasive cultural link between masculinity and sports. The segment is equal parts personal reflection, comic relief, and relatable advice for any parent facing similar dilemmas.

---

A must-listen for anyone navigating youth sports, parental expectations, and raising resilient kids—served with honesty, warmth, and humor.

Transcript

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[Parent (likely Father)]

The Birch Show Hayden had another baseball game last night.

[Parent or Friend]

How was it?

[Parent (likely Father)]

I don't know what's happening, but he's getting worse throughout the season. Yeah, it started mediocre and it's just gotten worse. And I gotta talk about this before he gets up at 6, poor little man. And now starting to get him down.

[Parent or Friend]

Oh, it is, yes, well. Cause he skipped T ball, right? Like he didn't get to do the T ball season and now he has to do the season where the coach pitches it to him, right?

[Parent (likely Father)]

That is part of it. And a lot of the kids on his team have been playing two, three years already, so you can really tell that this is his first year. But Hayden, I think, is a lot like his mom and his dad. If he's not good at something, immediately he gets really frustrated. So it's so funny, the hypocritical words that come out of your mouth when you're giving advice to your kids because you can almost hear yourself giving you advice to your inner child.

[Parent or Friend]

What advice did you give him?

[Parent (likely Father)]

Well after the game? Well, I'll tell you where the, the pro, the red flag started. This kid on the team yesterday, his kid, his name is Nolan.

[Friend or Relative]

That guy's meant to be a baseball player.

[Parent (likely Father)]

I'm telling you, man. Hall of famer. Hall of Famer. He just had the game of his life yesterday. Of his six year old life. He like got three hits and he was just on fire in the field and he was throwing over from third base to first base. And what I do, how I help out is I just, I'm basically the backstop. So when the catcher can't catch the ball, there's an adult behind that just keeps the ball moving and gets it back to the pitcher and stuff like that to save time, right? So I'm that guy in between every inning. So as our team came off the field and Nolan got another one of his 19 hits yesterday, I came up to him and I just, you know, kind of messed his hair up a little bit. And I'm like, dude, this is an amazing. This is the best game you've had all season. You're destined for the hall of fame. And Hayden was standing right next to him. And Hayden says to me this was the end of the game. And he says, and maybe I'll be in the loser hall of fame.

[Parent or Friend]

Breaks your heart.

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[Friend or Relative]

Did you say, boy, you, you're right, you might be. And then walk off the field with no one.

[Parent (likely Father)]

I can't even joke about it. So I take him by both shoulders. I'm like, come here, man. And I set him down. I like Hayden. You got. Remember I only have 30 seconds here because the kids have to get on the field, right? I'm like, hayden, you gotta stop putting this kind of pressure on yourself. This is the fourth game you've ever played, man. You're gonna be just as good as these kids in a couple of years. You've got two things to do today, man. Have fun and try your best. And that's it, right? So he runs back out, he doesn't see and he doesn't say it in a depressing way.

[Parent or Friend]

He just jokes about it just sort

[Parent (likely Father)]

of like comes out from him, you know, like he wasn't sad or anything. It was just him sort of making fun of himself or something. Broke my heart, too. So we went to Tin Lizzie's last night afterwards and I sat him down

[Friend or Relative]

and get him a pitcher of beer.

[Parent (likely Father)]

Do the shot of patrol and you'll feel a lot better, son. And it was like a long 10 minute conversation, probably three minutes of it, which he heard, but it really was again, the same lesson is, dude, you're just starting at this and you can't give up on things that you're not good at immediately. We're just going to have to go out and practice more and more. And I put some of it on me. I said, you know what? Some of this is my fault. I haven't gone out with you enough. We haven't played catch enough. We haven't hit enough. So some of this is on me. And it's not even your fault, son.

[Friend or Relative]

So what if he said, daddy, you were so good at your first game of soccer ever.

[Parent (likely Father)]

Well, I told him last night that I wasn't. He thinks that I was like, he thinks I'm David Beckham. But I said, look, I know you think that right now because you think everything that daddy does is the greatest thing ever. But when you compare Me to the other soccer players out there. I didn't know what I was doing, and it's really similar. I said to him, this is his first time ever playing, and baseball has so many rules.

[Parent or Friend]

Oh, yeah.

[Parent (likely Father)]

If you think about it, so many rules. Soccer is really pretty easy. I mean, you go out there, you stop the ball, and then you kick it. That's easy. But even for me being out there on Saturday, it was really confusing. This kid's got to figure out if you're supposed to tag if there's a guy on first, do I run right past first or do I round the base and go to second? I was supposed to look at coaches. So I said, I understand. You're overwhelmed with all this stuff right now, so forget about being great at it and just have fun. So I saw him kind of checking in and out of the conversation, but I'm gonna take him to the batting cage today because I don't think he's having as much fun. It's not fun for his mom and dad right now, either. Watch him struggle like that.

[Friend or Relative]

You get him in front of a fast pitch machine.

[Parent (likely Father)]

Yeah. Without a helmet.

[Friend or Relative]

Perfect.

[Parent or Friend]

Do you think if after this season, he says, I don't want to play anymore, you'll encourage him to play?

[Parent (likely Father)]

Well, we're going to have to make some tough decisions here, because he's going to have to. I don't want the message. Message to be if you try something and you're not good at it, you could just quit. And we sort of have that already with soccer. So if he doesn't play baseball, then he may have to go back to soccer. You know what I'm saying?

[Parent or Friend]

I just decided not to play soccer.

[Parent (likely Father)]

Yeah. He wasn't all that into it. I just don't. Yeah, I'm a little bit torn by the whole thing. I just don't know if he's just not a good athlete at all, and he's never gonna be good at any of this, which wouldn't bother me at all, really. I just don't like setting the precedent that you got to at least play it out. Try. And let's see, before you make the. The decision that you just don't want to play anymore because you're not good. Because he may be. I don't know.

[Friend or Relative]

How do you know the difference between not, like, liking it and not being good at, like, giving up because he's not good at it?

[Parent (likely Father)]

Well, you can pretty much. You can see that some kids even immediately have more naturally gifted athletic ability than others.

[Friend or Relative]

If he Says he's not gonna say, I'm not good at it, so I don't wanna do it. He'll say, I don't wanna play this anymore.

[Parent (likely Father)]

I think if we go through two seasons and he's not making any progress, his hand eye coordination is just not great right now. And Stacy keeps saying that he's behind because he was born early. I don't know how long you can keep that. I don't know about that. Yeah, I told her I'm gonna start doing the same thing. Cause I'm still pretty small and behind on. So at some point you have to say, look, this is just not an area that he's strong in. And that's why I think actually going back to soccer would be better for him.

[Friend or Relative]

That's a funny excuse because I was a C section baby. So I was just sort of saying, yeah, I was C section.

I think you should just start telling people that you're 32. Based on Stacy's logic. Yeah, I was. Yeah, I was born early. I'm only 32.

[Parent (likely Father)]

I'm really 42, but my motor skills are like 32.

[Parent or Friend]

Have you guys ever talked about gymnastics for him?

[Parent (likely Father)]

Uh, we haven't. Really?

[Parent or Friend]

Cause I remember the kids that were, and don't take it as any sort of insult because I was always jealous of them. But the kids that were shorter and the girls that were in my gymnastics class that were shorter were way better than I. I could never get it in gymnastics. I wanted so badly to be a gymnast and like to be one of those cheerleaders that could tumble and like do all the backflips and all that kind of stuff. But I was tall and I started kind of late in it and so they were always just light years ahead of me with all that stuff.

[Parent (likely Father)]

Uh huh.

[Parent or Friend]

But the kids that were smaller and shorter did way better.

[Friend or Relative]

And the guys look so much guy gymnasts look so much better than girl gymnasts. You know what I'm saying?

[Parent or Friend]

Like physiques. Yes. But something that kids start at Hayden's age. I don't know, I just wanted to

[Friend or Relative]

throw that out there.

[Parent (likely Father)]

Yeah, no, it's cool. There are some children that just don't have athletic ability. I don't know if mine is one of them. I mean, his mother's side, all the men on their side of the family have always really been into sports and been very good. And on my side also there's athleticism on both sides. I don't know if it's ever gonna be his thing or it could be Just not sure.

[Friend or Relative]

Some people just don't like it. Like, I never. I played two years of baseball and all of my. I mean, organized, like outside of. Well, I played Little League, but I. Besides that, I just didn't care for sports. Yeah, I think it was like an ADD thing. Like, I would get out there and by the third inning, I was bored out of my skull.

[Parent (likely Father)]

You can see like this social gender pressure on kids early, though, because when I didn't realize this until I saw adults talking to my seven year old, Hayden, the icebreaker for an adult to a young boy is, so, are you playing any sports? I didn't realize how much that comes up, really. I thought about that almost every conversation, especially with older guys. Adult men, when they're introduced to a kid and they don't know anything about them, they don't say, what are you into?

[Friend or Relative]

They say, I do that now. The other day, are you playing baseball?

[Parent (likely Father)]

Are you playing football? Are you playing soccer?

[Friend or Relative]

Don't you do that with each other too? Like adult men when they don't know each other, that somehow it always comes back to sports or sports is a.

[Parent or Friend]

What's your team?

[Friend or Relative]

Yeah.

That is your common language amongst men is sports.

[Parent (likely Father)]

Right.

[Friend or Relative]

So you do it to little kids, too.

[Parent (likely Father)]

So I think we're just sort of in a weird stage right now where sports may inevitably not be his thing, but I may be forced to keep him in another year. Just so we don't set the precedent that you're allowed to quit just because you're not good at things immediately, you know? So I'm not sure. You never know. Like, I mean, I wonder if there's any parent that really felt like they had it down with their first kid. Like, I got this, man, all these decisions are so easy because for me, I'm constantly hitting it from every angle.

[Friend or Relative]

You know, I think that Richard Heaney guy's pretty solid.

Yeah.

[Parent or Friend]

But Falcon.

[Friend or Relative]

Falcon was not his first kid. See, so that's why by the time he got to the balloon boy, he was. Yeah.

[Parent (likely Father)]

He doesn't need to do a reality TV show. He needs a parental advice book.

[Friend or Relative]

You get on base this game or I put you in a helium balloon. The bird show.

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