The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Podcast: The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: He Had A Wet Dream In His Friend’s Bed?!
Air Date: January 14, 2026
Host: Bert & The Bert Show Cast
Episode Focus: A listener’s embarrassing dilemma: having a wet dream in a female friend’s bed and what to do next.

Episode Overview

This episode dives into an awkward real-life scenario submitted by a male listener (“Kay”). He recounts having a wet dream while sleeping (platonically) in a longtime female friend’s bed, feeling paralyzed by embarrassment and unsure if he should bring it up, ignore it, or if the incident has ruined any budding romantic potential. The Bert Show team discusses the matter with humor and compassion, soliciting advice and real-time opinions—especially from female listeners—to determine how best to handle the situation.

Key Topics and Discussion Points

1. Setting Up the Dilemma (01:18–03:23)

• Content Warning: Hosts remind listeners this segment isn’t kid-friendly, inviting those with children nearby to skip this one.
• Listener Introduction: Kay calls in, detailing that after a night hanging out (not sexual), he passed out in his female friend's bed and woke up after a wet dream. He’s mortified.
• Embarrassment and Uncertainty: Kay doesn’t know whether she noticed, but he thinks she did; they haven’t spoken since.
• “Should I admit it or just let it go?” Kay is concerned this might thwart his hopes for a romantic connection.

2. Discussing Wet Dreams & Adult Embarrassment (03:23–05:10)

• Normalcy of Wet Dreams: The cast—especially the men—reassure Kay this is a normal, if embarrassing, biological occurrence that can happen past adolescence.
• Awkwardness Amplified: The cast jokes about there being no way to “joke” about it, and how such an incident is mortifying even among close friends.
  • “Even if you're best friends, I don't think that's something you could ever joke about.” – Kristin (04:54)
• Perspective Divide: The hosts agree men might brush it off, but they want female perspectives: "For women, it's a bit of a tougher obstacle to get around or over—or clean up." – Bert (05:46).

3. Women Listeners Weigh In – Advice & Reactions (07:03–12:31)

• General Sentiment: Nearly all women callers and panelists say Kay is making too big a deal out of it.
  • “I think she’s just as uncomfortable as he is. If he’s interested, he should just go for it... I don’t think he should stress out over this.” – Lisa (07:03)
  • “It’s an act of nature. Get over it.” – Pam (08:15)
• To Confess or Not?: Most say not to bring it up unless she does, or just to apologize briefly and move on.
• Could Be a Compliment?!: One caller laughs, “If you tell her she was in your dream, is that a compliment?” (08:34)
• No Dealbreaker: Several women distinguish this from much “worse” sleep incidents (“If he was a bedwetter, forget about it.” – Abby, 09:19), and believe it won’t count against him if he’d like to pursue something more.

4. What Should Kay Do Now? (12:00–13:06)

• Directness Can Work: Hosts and callers encourage a short, sincere apology if he needs closure, then moving the conversation forward.
  • “Just say, ‘Sorry, I was embarrassed.’ And then just move on. K’s going to end up worrying about this longer than the actual conversation.” – Kristin (12:00)
  • “You could send a new set of sheets as an apology gift.” – Tracy (11:45)
• Female Listeners: Not a Big Deal: The consensus from the women—move on, don’t stress.

5. Psychological Angle – Women and Bodily Functions (13:08)

• Abby’s Perspective: “I think it’s because we’re a lot more comfortable with bodily functions than you guys are... We have things happening that are a lot worse on a much more regular basis.”
• Minor in the Big Picture: Hosts suggest this will one day be a funny, minor story if Kay and his friend become a couple.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On male embarrassment:
  “It’s probably a subject that resonates more with men than women, but embarrassing nonetheless...” – Bert (01:28)

• Kay, on the aftermath:
  “I got up in the morning, of course, totally embarrassed, didn’t say anything… just took off. I haven’t talked to her since.” – Kay (03:23)

• Female advice on perspective:
  “She’s just as uncomfortable about it as he is. If he’s interested—just go for it... I don’t think he should stress out over this.” – Lisa (07:03)

• The hosts on laughing it off:
  "Jokey wet dream guy... Jokey nocturnal emission guy." – Bert & Kristin joking (07:35–07:44)

• Comparing scenarios:
  “If he peed himself, just don’t ever talk to her again. But this is not as big a deal.” – Abby (08:46)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:18–03:23]: Kay shares his story and embarrassment.
• [03:23–05:10]: Cast discusses wet dreams, adult embarrassment.
• [07:03–12:00]: Female listeners give advice; consensus emerges.
• [12:00–13:08]: Final advice; hosts wrap up takeaways.
• [13:08–End]: Abby’s perspective on women and bodily functions.

Summary & Takeaways

The Bert Show delivers its trademark humor and honest talk to a potentially mortifying listener problem—ultimately normalizing bodily functions, dissolving shame, and offering practical relationship advice. The collective wisdom:

• Don’t make it a bigger deal than it is
• Apologize sincerely if needed, but move forward
• For most women—and potential relationships—it’s not a dealbreaker

As Bert says, “The longer you wait, the more difficult it’s gonna be to make that first phone call. Do it today, dude. Get that weird tension out of the way.” (13:38)