Vault: He lost the phone with her phone number Part 1

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault - He Lost the Phone with Her Phone Number (Part 1)

Date: August 12, 2026
Host & Cast: The Bert Show (Bert, Wendy, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others)
Episode Theme:
A listener’s real-life romantic misadventure takes center stage as Brian turns to The Bert Show’s “Love Lost and Found” segment for help after losing the phone containing a potential soulmate’s number.

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Episode Overview

“Vault: He Lost the Phone with Her Phone Number (Part 1)” follows Brian, a listener who had a promising romantic encounter only to lose his new connection due to a lost phone. The show's cast and community spring into action to help him find "Lauren," blending humor, empathy, and collective sleuthing.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How “Love Lost and Found” Works

• [01:07] Wendy explains this staple segment: listeners who met someone special but, due to missed connections or lost info, can't reach them. The show collects details and calls on their audience to help reunite potential couples.
  • Wendy: “You come on the show, you give us a couple of details...and we sort of ask the Burt show community...if we can find the person for you.” [01:07]

2. Brian’s Story: From Serendipity to Snafu

• [02:22] Brian recounts the night he met Lauren in East Atlanta:

  • Venue: The Graveyard
  • Circumstance: She comments on his unusual height (he’s 6'9", she’s 5'9"), then accidentally spills his drink.
  • They share in-the-moment chemistry, he “mans up” and gets her number.
  • Brian: “She commented on my height…I teased her a little…but we kept talking and eventually I just said, look, you know, we really ought to go out on a date. So got her number…” [02:22]

• [03:44] The loss:

  • The next day, after a bike ride from Decatur to downtown, Brian realizes his phone is missing—along with Lauren’s number.
  • He describes his (sometimes uncool) habit of carrying the phone on his belt, and the complications that follow: “I was trying to break that habit…” [03:39]
  • He retraces his route, endures bike mishaps, (“…pedaling my little heart out against traffic…finally I get a flat tire…” [04:00]), but no luck.

3. The Search for Lauren

• After losing the phone, Brian starts playing detective using the few details he remembers:

  • Lauren is a hairstylist who lives in Grant Park and works in Marietta.
  • He scours online reviews, salon bios, and even visits one salon in person, where the receptionist is charmed:
    • Brian: “The receptionist was just freaking out…‘Oh, my God, this is so romantic. It’s just like some movie—Serendipity.’” [06:05]
  • The show jokes that maybe the receptionist is the real “serendipity.”
  • Brian clarifies he’s focused (“It’s kind of disingenuous to go in there with one goal and you’re dating someone else” [06:47])

• [07:07] The Grind:

  • Brian estimates he checked around four salons where “Lauren” might work.
  • He jokes/doubts himself before entering, thinking, “Are you really getting ready to go in there and just…come out with a story to some stranger?” [07:20]
  • Realistically, there are “300–400 salons in Marietta.” [07:32]
  • Brian: “At this point, I need the A team.” [07:39]

4. Call for Listener Help

• Recap of known details to rally the listeners:
  • Name: Lauren (spelled out L-A-U-R-E-N) [08:15]
  • Height: 5'9”
  • Hairstylist, works in Marietta, lives in Grant Park
  • Short, dark hair (“clipper short on the side” [08:45])
  • Out with a German friend (vague detail, no name)
• The hosts and co-hosts riff with Brian, joking about phone holsters, fanny packs, “vertically convenient” height, and even asking about Lauren’s “German-ness.”
  • Brian: “She’s vertically very convenient to talk to in a club like that.” [02:31]

5. Lighthearted Banter & Memorable Moments

• Comic Relief:
  • Hosts and Brian riff on phone holster fashions [03:39–03:56], with suggestions for magnetic helmets and fanny packs.
  • Host: “I always find that guys…with the holster on their belt that makes the phone go sideways is much cooler than going up and down.” [03:48]
• Gentle teasing as Brian is asked about her looks, age, and even as someone cheekily asks him to describe Lauren’s breasts (which everyone quickly shuts down) [09:06–09:27].
• Host: “Did you pinch her sides at all?” (teasing, immediately shot down) [09:37]
• Co-host: “And he’s 6’9”…That’s going to be easy to remember if she hears it or if she told a friend about it.” [09:40]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host: “Here’s why this story is so tragic. Because dude manned up…But this has more honor to it…Brian went in, man. He got the phone number.” [01:29–01:57]
• Brian: “You can replace the phone…meeting a new person now, I mean, that’s not really replaceable.” [04:03]
• Brian: “I Googled what I did know about her…calling some of these salons and, you know, trying to…figure out exactly…a tactical way of saying, does…Is there a Lauren that works there?” [05:06]
• Host: “I think you’ve got enough details here that I’m pretty confident we’re gonna find her today, man. I really am.” [07:42–07:56]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:07–01:29: Wendy introduces the "Love Lost and Found" segment
• 02:22–03:44: Brian describes meeting Lauren and losing his phone
• 04:00–04:38: The saga of retracing steps, bike ride, and lost hope
• 05:06–06:39: Brian’s detective work and salon searching
• 07:07–07:42: The scope of the challenge (“300–400 salons”)
• 08:14–09:04: Lauren’s key identifying details are recapped for listeners

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Call to Action

The episode wraps up by urging listeners to come forward with any possible leads about Lauren—hoping the Bert Show community can make a rom-com moment happen in real life.

Host: “If you have any leads for us…give us a call and we’ll follow those leads. But we need you guys to call. Listen, it’s the Bert Show.” [09:45–10:29]

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Tone:
Conversational, upbeat, and supportive, with the hosts balancing humor and genuine interest in helping Brian.

For Listeners Who Missed It:
This episode captures the mix of romance, real-life frustration, and community spirit that defines “The Bert Show.” Brian’s story isn’t just a search for a lost number—it’s a feel-good call to collective action, with the show’s signature wit and warmth.

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(To be continued in Part 2…)

Transcript

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[Host (Birch Show)]

You're on the Birch Show. All right, Wendy, explain again exactly how Love Lost and Found works on the Bird show.

[Wendy (Birch Show Co-host)]

Well, Love Lost and Found is when you kind of meet somebody out, but through some sort of circumstances, you hit it off right away. But you end up either losing a phone number, not getting a phone number, but you're always thinking about this person. So you come on the show, you give us a couple of details, some highlights of the person that you met. And we sort of asked the Burt show community on if they know this person and if we can find the person for you.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Here's why this story is so tragic. Because dude manned up. I mean, he gets the phone number. In a lot of cases. We'll get a guy calling up saying, look, everything was going so well. End of the night rolls around. Or when we both left the supermarket. There was that. That second that I knew it and she knew it. And I could have gone in for the phone number and I just chickened out and I didn't do it.

[Co-host 1]

And.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Okay, so we'll help you out in a case like that. But this has more honor to it.

[Co-host 2]

Definitely.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Brian went in, man.

[Co-host 1]

He got the phone number.

[Brian (Guest)]

Yes, he went in.

[Host (Birch Show)]

What's going on, Brian?

[Brian (Guest)]

Hey, what's going on? Bert, Jen, Jeff, Melissa, Wendy.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Hello. It's a tragedy, I tell you. It's a tragedy.

[Brian (Guest)]

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

[Host (Birch Show)]

His mood changed quickly.

[Co-host 3]

Hey, everybody. Yep.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Yeah. All right, bring us back to that night, exactly where you were and give us all the details leading up to where we are right now.

[Brian (Guest)]

It was two Saturdays ago in East Atlanta. I was there with a buddy watching a jazz show. And we went into the. Can I Name the club. We went into the graveyard toward the end of the night, and almost immediately I ran into this girl that she commented on my height. I'm 69 and she's 5 9. So, you know, she's vertically, very convenient to talk to in a club like that.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Vertically convenient. I love it.

[Brian (Guest)]

But then she accidentally knocked my drink out of my hand and she was embarrassed. You know, I teased her a little bit and, you know, but we kept talking and eventually I just said, look, you know, we really ought to go out on a date. So got her number and you kind of told the rest of the story. Left the club, you know, feeling pretty happy, excited. Got up the next day, did my normal weekend stuff and decided to go to the. I don't know, there was some like, walk around downtown bike thing. And I rode from Decatur down to downtown and reached for my phone and it was gone. Yeah. And, you know, I've been trying to break this habit because apparently it's very unfashionable to wear your phone on your belt. Is that right, lady?

[Co-host 3]

No, if it's while you're riding a bike, I think it's totally cool.

[Brian (Guest)]

Is it okay that way?

[McDonald's Announcer 1]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Either use a magnet and put it right on your helmet, or you could

[Host (Birch Show)]

always put it in your fanny pack.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, well, I always find. I always find that guys that put, you know, have the holster on their belt that makes the phone go sideways is much cooler than going up and down.

[Co-host 3]

That's just so it doesn't push against your pantis.

[Brian (Guest)]

Well, I was trying to break that habit. But anyway, so, you know, at that point, I immediately think of the number and I'm like, I mean, the phone was not a cheap phone, but you can replace the phone. The possibility that you're going to get, you know, through meeting a new person now, I mean, that's not really replaceable. So. So I double back and I'm, you know, like, pedaling my little heart out against traffic. People are honking at me, and finally I get a flat tire.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, man. Yeah.

[Brian (Guest)]

And I'm like, is this a sign? Maybe I'm supposed to. Supposed to walk. So I'll find the phone? No, I didn't find the phone.

[Co-host 3]

So let me get this straight. At one point, there was a man walking his bike with one flat tire from Atlanta to Decatur with an empty fold holster on his belt and no other beautiful woman pulled over to say hi to you?

[Brian (Guest)]

Exactly.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Hard to believe.

[Brian (Guest)]

Wow. Everything came off.

[Wendy (Birch Show Co-host)]

Don't ruin Jeff.

[Co-host 1]

Don't ruin this effort. He is risking his life, going against traffic to find the phone to get his handbag.

[Brian (Guest)]

I mean. And later that night, I got a weird phone call. Somebody called, called, asked for Brian. I said, this is Brian, and he hung up. So I'm like, oh, man, this must be the guy. I had emailed my phone and said, look, there's a reward if you just, you know, just for the information on the phone. And the guy hung up. I called back. He kept hanging up on me. And finally he started saying something like, I wouldn't give you that number if I had your phone. So I was feeling pretty bummed at that point. But, you know, after regrouping and thinking about it a little bit, I Googled what I did know about her, which is that she's a hairstylist. She lives in Grant Park. She works in Marietta. And immediately I started seeing reviews for stylists by her name. And so, you know, over the last course of the last week, I'm calling some of these salons and, you know, trying to. Trying to figure out exactly, you know, a tactical way of saying, does. Is there a Lauren that works there? And, you know, trying to get descriptions, get a description of them, and rule out the ones that I could find via the Internet like that. And I was able to do that by looking at some of the bios on the websites. And actually, last Saturday, I went into one in Marietta, and the receptionist was just freaking out. She was like, oh, my God, this is so romantic. It's just like some movie serendipity. And I was like, well, that's good, because I was afraid I was coming off like a stalker.

[Host (Birch Show)]

But maybe the serendipity was to meet the receptionist that thought it was really romantic. Have you thought of that? Did you hook up with her?

[Brian (Guest)]

You know, it's kind of disingenuous to go in there with one goal in

[Co-host 1]

mind and you're dating.

[Host (Birch Show)]

What does that have to do with being genuine?

[Co-host 1]

He got the number. That was a backup. If this doesn't work anyway, move on.

[Host (Birch Show)]

I'm no dummy.

[Co-host 1]

Stupid. I'm six, nine.

[Co-host 2]

How many different salons did you go through on the list looking for her?

[Brian (Guest)]

About four. That I found that there was a definite, you know, person named Lauren working there. And most of those were either, like I said, off of online bios. And then I went in, you know, the other day, I was sitting in the parking lot going, man, are you really getting ready to go in there and just, you know, come out with a story to some stranger? But anyway, so, you know, and then I looked online, and there's only, like, I don't know, 300 or 400 salons in Marietta, so that, you know, at this point, I need the A team.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Yeah. Here we are, man. We're here to save the day, dude. I think you've got enough details here that I'm pretty confident we're gonna find her today, man. I really am. All right, so here's what we have. You guys met at the graveyard on. What was the date?

[Brian (Guest)]

22nd.

[Host (Birch Show)]

He remembers it like it was yesterday, man. I love that answer, dude.

[Co-host 2]

You are so cute, Brian.

[Host (Birch Show)]

All right, 22nd at the graveyard in East Atlanta. You know, she's a hairstylist. You know, she lives in Grant Park. She works in Marietta. And we got a name, y'.

[Co-host 1]

All.

[Host (Birch Show)]

It's Lauren.

[Wendy (Birch Show Co-host)]

And she's five nine.

[Brian (Guest)]

Lauren. A L, A U, R, E, N. Lauren. And she was with a friend that said she was German.

[Co-host 3]

Okay, did she look German?

[Host (Birch Show)]

What does that mean?

[Brian (Guest)]

You know, I didn't really get any definitive accents, but, I mean, it's kind of loud in there.

[Co-host 2]

Huge.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Did you get the name of the friend by any chance?

[Brian (Guest)]

I didn't.

[Co-host 2]

Okay, can you give us a physical?

[Brian (Guest)]

Easy. I mean, she's. She's 5 9, and she's got short dark hair.

[Co-host 2]

Short?

[Wendy (Birch Show Co-host)]

How short?

[Brian (Guest)]

Short, like. Like, pretty short around. It's like clipper short on the side.

[Co-host 2]

Oh, okay. Like, yeah, like, to her head, short short?

[Brian (Guest)]

Yes.

[Co-host 2]

Okay.

[Host (Birch Show)]

Asking about, like, clothing or anything like that doesn't do us any good because it was a week and a half ago. Short, dark hair. But she's from here.

[Co-host 2]

Anything else? Like, is she from here?

[Co-host 3]

Describe her breasts.

[Co-host 2]

This is a sweet story.

[Brian (Guest)]

Oh, you know, I'm hesitant to go into trying to guess a woman's age. I would say.

[Host (Birch Show)]

No, don't answer it, dude. Don't, don't, don't, don't. You're smarter than that.

[Co-host 2]

No, he was gonna guess her age, okay?

[Co-host 1]

That's why it's not her bra size. I know, but I'm still saying.

[Brian (Guest)]

Shh.

[Co-host 1]

And don't even try to guess her age.

[Co-host 3]

How much do you think she weighed?

[Host (Birch Show)]

Don't do it, Brian. Hold on one second. I'm gonna put you on hold. I'll give the phone. We'll see if we can get any strong leads for you.

[Brian (Guest)]

Okay, Good deal. Thank you.

[Host (Birch Show)]

All right, hold on.

[Bubba Wallace]

Did you pinch her sides at all?

[Co-host 2]

And he's 6 9, so that's going to be easy to remember if she hears it or if she told a friend about it.

[Host (Birch Show)]

I bet her phone is buzzing right now. So here's what we got. We got this guy Brian, who meets Lauren at the graveyard on the 22nd. They vibe it up big time. He loses his phone the next day. It has her phone number in it. He's a panic about it, right? Can't find her anywhere. He's gone online and searched for her also. Here's what we know and here's who we're looking for. Her name is Lauren. She's five, nine. She's a hairstylist. She works in Grant Park. No, she works in Marietta, but she lives in Grant park. And she's got short dark hair. That's what we're looking for. If you have any leads for us, like even if you don't know her, if you might know the name of the salon she works at, give us a call and we'll follow those leads. But we need you guys to call. Listen, it's the vert show.

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