The Bert Show – "Vault: He Needs Help Finding A Woman He Met In A Park"

Date: February 3, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Highlights: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the Bert Show Cast

Episode Overview

This episode features a classic "help me find the one who got away" segment, with a listener named Matt reaching out to the Bert Show for help locating a woman he met during an eventful St. Patrick’s Day celebration at Park Tavern. The episode is lighthearted, full of the Bert Show’s trademark playful ribbing, teamwork, and listener participation as they attempt to track down “Allie,” the mysterious woman who made quite an impression on Matt during a drunken duck-hunting contest.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Matt’s Park Tavern Encounter

• Event Recap: Matt attended Park Tavern's St. Patrick’s Day party, arriving early (10 AM) and participating in a “leprechaun duck” hunt for a chance at a $1,000 prize.
• The Duck Contest:
  • [00:12] Matt: "I ended up finding 31 of the 100 ducks, which almost assured me of one of the prizes. And then she came along. Her name is Allie."
  • Prizes: $200 awarded to five winners, via raffle tickets earned for each duck found.

2. Details About Allie

• Physical and Personal Traits:

  • Brown eyes, similar looks to Renee Zellweger, blonde hair, 21–25 years old, in school, has a brother in Vegas, and a big fan of “Survivor.”
  • [01:12] Matt: "She has really amazing eyes. Most innocent I've ever seen... looked a lot like Renee Zellweger."
  • [03:42] Matt: "She had to be 21 to be at the party... maybe 5 foot 4."

• How They Met:

  • Allie approached Matt to buy some of his ducks to increase her own chance of winning.
  • [01:12] Matt: "She came to me asking me to purchase some of my ducks for $10... felt an amazing chemistry between both of us."

• Immediate Regret:

  • Matt failed to get Allie's phone number despite feeling a strong connection.
  • [01:59] Matt: "But like a little girl, I didn't get one piece of information I had to have, and that was her phone number."

3. The Bert Show's Detective Work

• Piecing Together the Clues:

  • The hosts go over the timeline, the oddball “duck contest,” Allie’s details, and the potential reach of the Wednesday Night Drinking Club community.

  • [02:56] Host: "Wednesday night drinking club party... that could help."

• Community Call to Action:

  • The hosts encourage listeners, especially those in the Wednesday Night Drinking Club, to help identify or connect with Allie.
  • [04:56] Host: “If you think you might have a connection here with this Allie... give us a call right now.”

• Tracking Her Down:

  • [05:23] Suggestion to check ticket sales or lists with the party coordinator.
  • [05:51] A host comments: "As funny as it is, I mean, the fact that Allie went up to Matt to try to buy off some of his ducks, I mean, I think that's a key to the puzzle, too."

4. Listener Responses and Progress

• Listener Jamie Calls In ([06:44]):

  • "Hey, guys. Love the show."
  • Points out the odd comparison to Renee Zellweger, particularly about the eyes.
  • [06:58] Jamie: "I've never seen Renee Zellweger’s eyes in my life."
  • [07:03] Host jokes: "Cause they are so small." (general laughter)

• Listener Mitch Provides A Lead ([07:12]):

  • Mitch attended the event, has a picture of Allie with friends.
  • [07:18] Mitch: “I do have a picture of Allie. She was with another girl. They were all wearing green.”
  • Will send the picture to the show for verification and posting.

• Closing The Loop:

  • The hosts plan to post Allie’s photo online hoping she or a friend will come forward, aiming to reconnect Matt and Allie.
  • [07:54] Host: “If you could send us that picture, we’ll put it up online and somebody will email us and we’ll be able to get them together.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Matt’s Description of Chemistry:
  • [01:12] Matt: "I felt an amazing chemistry between both of us. I guess it could have been the Red Bull, but, yeah, it felt really cool."
• Bert Show Banter:
  • [01:05] Host: “Somebody was so drunk when they brainstormed that around a whole bunch of other drunk people.”
  • [02:26] Host: "Hey, why don't you just put them all in costume and let them sit on Santa's lap while they're there."
• On Matt’s Dedication to Duck Hunting:
  • [08:14] Mitch: "He got there early. It wasn't fair either. He got there with the... before he started. He had them all before we even started."
  • [08:15] Host: "Dude, that's working a little too hard."
• Matt’s Self-Assessment:
  • [04:12] Matt: "I'm in like with her, Jeff." (playful callback to infatuation vs. love)

Important Timestamps

• [00:12] Matt describes meeting Allie and the duck contest.
• [01:12] Matt recalls how Allie approached him, sparking his interest.
• [02:56] Hosts identify the event as a Wednesday Night Drinking Club party.
• [04:56] The call to listeners for leads.
• [05:53] Hosts discuss actionable ways to track down Allie.
• [06:44] Listener Jamie calls in; discussion about the Renee Zellweger comparison.
• [07:12] Listener Mitch calls, offers a photo of Allie.
• [08:14] Debrief on Matt’s duck-finding prowess and plans for sharing Allie's photo.

Tone & Takeaways

True to Bert Show form, the episode is both comedic and heartfelt—a fun mixture of affectionate teasing, relentless encouragement, and gentle advice for Matt. The camaraderie is infectious, and the group’s willingness to help a listener chase a missed romantic opportunity highlights the show's authentic appeal and interactive spirit.

Summary:
If you enjoy light-hearted “where are they now?” love stories, playful podcast banter, and community-driven problem-solving, this episode is a classic example of The Bert Show in action. Whether or not Matt finds his mystery St. Patrick’s Day girl, listeners are sure to enjoy the ride.