Vault: He pays for sex Part 2

Summary

The Bert Show — Vault: He Pays for Sex (Part 2)

Date: August 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show continues a candid and unfiltered exploration of men who pay for sex, particularly through the lens of “Joe,” a self-identified “hobbyist.” The conversation unpacks motivations behind paying for sexual services, public perceptions, and the realities from both the male client and female provider perspectives. Through listener calls, including one from an escort called Ashley, and the viewpoints of multiple hosts, the show delves into issues of stigma, safety, morality, and the dynamics between love, sex, and transaction.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Why Men Pay for Sex: The "Hobbyist" Perspective

• Joe, the hobbyist, shares he’s been paying for sex for five years, citing various motivations:

  • Time and money invested in traditional dating don’t guarantee intimacy
  • For many, it’s about differentiating sex from love
  • Some men are married and face communication breakdowns or unfulfilled preferences at home
  • In certain cases, it results from addiction, not laziness
  • Joe emphasizes it's not just men being lazy or opting out of romance, but seeking specific experiences

  “Over 50% of their clients are actually married. There could be a breakdown in communication at home. There could be a fetish... It's discerning between sex and love.” — Joe (01:46–02:42)

Listener Reactions: Division & Judgment

• Heather (Caller): Strongly criticizes the rationale of paying for sex, labeling it “lazy” and “pathetic,” and expresses frustration at the transactional mindset.

  “Are we supposed to settle for not being... wooed, taken out? ...We have to learn the newest position or the newest thing to help them out? Are you kidding?” — Heather (00:56–01:18)

• Co-host: Acknowledges humor in the situation but sees Joe as a “perfect client” for the service due to his straightforward approach.

Ethics & Objectification

• Interviewer questions Joe: Whether paying for sex objectifies women.
• Joe responds: No, as providers are making the choice to do this work, often possessing degrees or alternative options, and are professionals.

  “If I make the choice to go out hobbying, they make the choice to become providers... They enjoy what they do.” — Joe (02:54–03:24)

The Escort’s Point of View: Meet Ashley

• Ashley (Escort, on Voice Disguiser):

  • Holds a degree in computer science; turned to escorting after a layoff
  • Confirms Joe’s account: Majority of her clients (about 70%) are married
  • Most clients seek her out due to unfulfilling sex lives at home or wanting something different
  • She asserts all parties willingly participate and are “getting what they want”

  “Everybody’s getting what they want. There’s no hard feelings, and everybody’s leaving with a smile.” — Ashley (05:32–05:44)

Relationships, Emotional Impact & Professionalism

• Host asks: Can escorts have meaningful relationships?
• Ashley: It's challenging personally; she doesn’t, and sex can lose meaning due to its repetitive, transactional nature.

  “It’s not like... You’re having sex... but there’s some incentives involved.” — Ashley (06:03–06:12)

• Treats her job as a strictly business transaction:

  “I treat it as a business.” — Ashley (06:25)

Safety & Screening in Sex Work

• Ashley:
  • Avoids clients who seem unsafe; prefers referrals or people she knows
  • Attends gatherings (“poker nights”) where safety is ensured via familiarity and numbers
• Joe (expounds):
  • Describes a screening process for prospective clients: ID checks, “ghost calls” to workplaces for identity confirmation, quick background vetting

  “A lot of providers will send you through what is called a screening process... just a light screening and a light background check.” — Joe (08:03–08:28)

• Both highlight that most male clients are discreet, not violent, and want to avoid attention

Gender Reactions & Societal Divide

• Host 2: Observes that feedback is split: men call to defend the practice, women generally react with horror

  “You can pretty much guess how the phone calls are going. Dude’s calling up saying, give the guy a break. And women calling up, just horrified.” — Host 2 (09:01–09:11)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Heather:

  “He sounds really lazy... Are you serious?” — (00:56–01:18)

• Joe on client motivation:

  “It’s not laziness... For some guys, it’s an addiction.” — (01:46–02:42)

• Ashley:

  “I'm beautiful, I'm biracial. I have two kids. You would never think that I was doing something like this.” — (04:57–05:10)
  “Everybody’s getting what they want.” — (05:32–05:44)
  “I treat it as a business.” — (06:25)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:46: Joe clarifies he’s been a hobbyist for five years
• 00:56-01:18: Caller Heather reacts with strong criticism
• 01:46-02:42: Joe explains deeper motivations behind hobbyism
• 02:54-03:24: Joe discusses agency and professionalism in sex work
• 04:14-05:44: Escort Ashley describes her background, clients, and industry truths
• 06:12-06:25: Emotional detachment, treating escorting as a business
• 06:48-07:57: Ashley and hosts address safety and client vetting
• 08:03-08:28: Joe details the provider screening process
• 09:01-09:11: Hosts comment on gender split in caller reactions

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Tone & Language

The episode maintains the Bert Show’s signature witty, real, and irreverent style. Regardless of personal views, the hosts and callers engage authentically and with candor, offering both humor and frankness as they tackle a taboo subject.

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This summary should equip non-listeners with a thorough understanding of the episode’s spirited, insightful engagement with the realities and complexities of paid sex from both sides of the transaction.

Transcript

[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

And now get early access to our biggest sale of the year. Save 25% on the new Comfort Next luxe for a limited time only at a Sleep number store or sleepnumber.com the bird show. So Joe calls us and he tells us that he's a hobbyist, which means he goes out and he. He pays for sex. They don't even call him escorts anymore. Now they're providers. And he said that he's been doing this for how many years now?

[Co-host]

Was.

[Caller/Interviewer]

Three.

[Expert/Guest]

No, no, no, no. Five years.

[Host 2]

Five years now. All right, here's Heather. Good morning, Heather. You are on the Burt Show.

[Caller Heather]

Good morning, by the way. Love y'. All. First off, secondly, besides him sugarcoating how pathetic this all is, I swear, he sounds really lazy. If you notice, ladies, the first thing he said was, well, you dedicate all this time, you dedicate all this money, and then later on, you're not even sure if you're gonna get any. Are you serious?

[Co-host]

That's why we were laughing.

[Caller Heather]

I just don't understand it. I mean, are we supposed to settle for not being, you know, wooed, taken out? No, we don't have to learn how to be polite. We have to learn the newest position or the newest thing to help them out. Are you kidding?

[Co-host]

Yeah, I thought that. Yeah, that's one of the reasons I was laughing. And I thought that our caller may be a perfect client. He may be a perfect client to be a hobbyist, because obviously he wants to cut to the chase and get to bed and be done with it.

[Expert/Guest]

Can I respond to that?

[Co-host]

Sure.

[Expert/Guest]

Okay. And let me clear that up, too, for a whole lot of different reasons. There are a lot of different reasons why we do what we do. It's not laziness for some guys, you know, and you. And I'm sure that a lot of escorts will attest to this. Over 50% of their clients are actually married. And, you know, there could be a lot of things. There could be a breakdown in communication at home. There could be a fetish that he's into that the wife won't do and will never do. You know, and like I said before, and I've said this before, it's a discerning between sex and love. And that doesn't, you know, and again, for married guys, let's not get it wrong. I'm not saying, and I'm not condoning that for married guys, but what I am saying is it could be so many different things for some guys. It's an addiction. They're an addict. They're addicted.

[Caller/Interviewer]

Do you believe that you objectify women like you pay for a woman as an object and then you give it back? Because it sounds to me like you don't want a companion in your life. You just want to pay for it, get it done, and move on.

[Expert/Guest]

I do not. And I'll tell you why. You have to remember, just as if I make the choice to go out hobbying, they make the choice to become providers. They're making that choice. And as I said before, these. A lot of these providers are very professional. They have degrees, they have other things that they could choose to do. They enjoy what they do. This is it. So it's not objective at all.

[Host 2]

And I would say I want to make this suggestion also that if you are a guy listening, I've heard this before also, that it's all safe. You know, if I just do this, if I hire an escort or whatever, it's safe. I don't get caught. And it's real clean. Tell George Lopez that, who was in Tampa a couple of weeks ago. And those providers didn't say anything. I mean, said a lot. Here is Ashley, who wants to be on the Voice Disguiser. Also, we're spending some time here with Joe this morning, who told us he's a hobbyist, which means he pays for sex. Been doing it for a while now. And, you know, his. His feeling is, look, at the end of the day, if you're a dude and you're going out on all these dates, you know, I mean, you're spending all this cash anyway, and then in

[Co-host]

a couple of years, spending. Yeah, you're saving money if you pay for it because you're guaranteed to get laid.

[Host 2]

Here is Ashley, and she wants to be on the Voice Disguiser. And she is an escort. Hey, Ashley.

[Escort Ashley]

Hi. I have a degree in computer science. I had a job and I was laid off. And I do escort. And everything that Joe is saying is the truth. And I say about 70% of my clients are married and that it's very rare to see a single guy calling an escort. The majority of them are married or in a relationship.

[Caller/Interviewer]

Why do they call you?

[Escort Ashley]

For the most part, because they don't want to be with the ones they're with.

[Caller/Interviewer]

They don't want to be. Or they're not having intimate relationships at

[Escort Ashley]

home, like Joe was saying, like, they're not having the sex they want to have, or, you know, the wife is too busy, or, you know, they just want to have some fun with somebody else.

[Host 2]

Now, on the other hand, I know

[Escort Ashley]

a lot of married guys are like this, that have great jobs, and you would never think they do stuff like this. And I am. I'm beautiful, I'm biracial. I have two kids. You would never think that I was doing something like this.

[Host 2]

Now, on the other end of this, I want to get into your head a little bit, because with Joe, for me as a guy, it's just like, it's giving up. Like, it's so demoralizing that I could not get this by myself, so now I had to pay for it. It'd be very degrading to my ego. Like, on your end, it's gotta be pretty degrading also, right?

[Escort Ashley]

No, because everybody's getting what they want.

[Co-host]

She's getting paid.

[Escort Ashley]

Everybody's getting what they want. I mean, even if I had a boyfriend, I mean, he's still giving me money to do stuff. So really, like Jo says, this is just cutting to the taste. There's no hard feelings, and everybody's leaving with a smile.

[Host 1]

Can you even have a meaningful relationship being an escort?

[Escort Ashley]

Some people do. I don't.

[Caller/Interviewer]

Because I don't.

[Host 1]

I wouldn't even think sex would be enjoyable if you. If I had a relationship and I was an escort. Because you're just doing it all the time. Doesn't mean anything.

[Escort Ashley]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's. It's not.

[Expert/Guest]

It's.

[Escort Ashley]

It's not like. It's like the worst thing. It's, you know, you're having sex with somebody that wants to have sex with you. But, you know, there's some incentives involved.

[Host 2]

You know, we've been told our whole lives that guys can turn it on and turn it off, our emotions on and off, and women aren't capable of doing that. But some women might be. I think y' all are the ones that can. Can do this more easily, obviously. Right.

[Escort Ashley]

I treat it as a business.

[Host 2]

It's all business. Just going to work. Hanging out that open for business sign

[Escort Ashley]

like you guys do every day, like

[Host 2]

the very first time you did it must have been really. That must have been a tough day.

[Escort Ashley]

No, because, I mean, because I know guys that I've been friends with that, you know, that I might date, but not really. But then they'll start helping me out. And then there you go. They're a hobbyist now.

[Caller/Interviewer]

Do you ever feel scared like. Like you have to be in bed with someone that frightens you or grosses you out? No.

[Escort Ashley]

I don't even deal with people like that. I try to deal with people that I know or have been introduced to. And it's all just straight business, professional, no weird stuff.

[Caller/Interviewer]

But how are you gonna. How are you able to control that? I mean, how are you able to control who you let into your place? I mean, okay, I'm going to my

[Escort Ashley]

place now that I don't do now. There. There are place places irrelevant to my place to go. People will have parties at their house, get togethers. They might call it poker night. And there'll be some ladies in the house that are there to provide.

[Caller/Interviewer]

I just wonder, how do you not allow it to cross that line of somebody being violent with you or putting their hands on you in a way?

[Escort Ashley]

I mean, you can kind of tell at the beginning if you're going to have a problem and then, you know, you just walk away from it. But usually it's not like you're dealing with violent guys. You're dealing with a lot of married men that want to be discreet and they want to just handle their business and leave. And they don't want this being the talk of the neighborhood.

[Caller/Interviewer]

It seems like a gray line right there. You can kind of tell at the beginning. Come on.

[Expert/Guest]

I think it was. I can actually answer that question. A lot of providers will send you through what is called a screening process, where you have to bring certain forms of identification. And they actually go in and they'll do what's called a goal ghost call on your job. And what that does is that signifies who you are.

[Host 2]

That's scary. What does a ghost call mean?

[Expert/Guest]

Like, for instance, you would give them, you know, your work number where you could be contacted. And it's actually very. It's painless. It's very painless. You give them and they do a ghost call, and they simply ask for you if you're there, and they'll do a search for it. Where again, you could do a search on the Internet for a website of the company's website, so on and so forth. And they do just a light screening and a light background check. And if you check out, then they'll allow you in. And generally it only takes them anywhere from five to 15 minutes to do.

[Host 2]

Wow.

[Expert/Guest]

You can.

[Host 2]

You can pretty much guess how the phone calls are going. Dude's calling up saying, give the guy a break. And women calling up, just horrified. I mean, it's split right down the middle here. You know, you could have predicted that.

[Co-host]

Tell him to give. Give the guy a break.

[Host 2]

You don't know where he's coming from. Guys, I totally agree with him. We all have needs. At the end of the day, we're still paying money if you're going to get. Oh, my God.

[Host 1]

I'm happy being single after this phone call.

[Escort Ashley]

You know what?

[Host 1]

I don't know.

[Host 2]

All right, Joe, thanks for the insight, man. We appreciate it.

[Expert/Guest]

Absolutely.

[Host 2]

All right, Thanks a lot. Hey, the bird show.