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A
There's nothing like my American Express Platinum card. I love that I can earn hotel credits when I travel. I can also earn resi credits, so, you know, I'm hitting the restaurants everyone's talking about. Plus, with the digital entertainment credit, I'm even more excited to catch my favorite shows. All in all, I can access over $3,500 in annual value with benefits and eligible purchases across travel, entertainment, and more. Learn more@americanexpress.com Explore Platinum Enrollment Requirements monthly and other limits in terms apply.
B
The bird show. We're gonna call her Marie, and we're gonna put her on the voice disguiser. Hey, Marie.
C
Hi, guys.
B
Good morning.
C
Yeah.
B
How are you?
C
I'm all right. How's everybody there? You think? Some. Good.
D
You sound stressed out. What's going on?
E
Better than you.
B
You're all ready to break up with this dude, huh?
C
Yeah, well, here's the thing. I was dating this guy at work, and my work has a real, real strict no dating employee policy. Like, you just. You can't. There was a big scandal a couple years ago, and they have, like, a zero tolerance policy. You. You'll. You're in big trouble if you do.
F
Okay.
C
And so we were together for, like, We've been together for.
G
Still together.
C
Oh, boy. For, like, six months. And then what I didn't know is my boss somehow got wind of it. Uh.
B
Oh.
D
Oh, no.
C
Yeah. And so he calls. He calls on the guy that I've been dating into his office, and he tells him. Not me, him, that one of us has to leave the company because of the zero tolerance policies.
F
Oh, no. Oh, no.
C
Instead of telling me, oh, no or talking to me, he just go ahead and he quits.
G
Oh, no. Wow.
E
No.
B
Totally jumps on the sword for you. And you guys have been dating for six months.
C
Six months now quit the job?
B
Were you in the I love you phase or were you still, you know, it's six months. We're digging each other, but it's not love.
C
That's where I was. I guess he was somewhere else and wasn't bothering to let me know.
F
Of course he loved her.
D
He quit his job for her.
F
Oh, no.
G
Wow.
E
He is madly in love.
D
Yes.
F
Oh, God.
C
Yeah.
B
Look at the fear on Melissa's face.
E
So why did you want to break up with him?
C
Because it's just one of those things that's just not working. It's nothing specific. It's not like, you know, he, you know, killed a baby or anything. I mean, he just.
F
Yeah, I mean, at least it's one of Us.
B
So somewhere between just no chemistry and killing a baby is our answer.
G
Okay.
B
Wow. Yeah.
C
Okay, so narrows it down, I guess.
B
So chemistry's just not there for whatever. She's just not digging the guy. But he quits his shuck. And he had nothing else lined up.
C
He's got nothing. I mean, he's got savings to carry him through for a little while, but, I don't know. I mean, just anybody who quit their job at a time like this, really?
E
Well, if there's. Is there any way that you can go to your boss and get him rehired if you break up with him?
C
See, my boss doesn't care. Even if we had, like, broken up immediately, if that was one of the solutions, they would still force someone to leave the company.
F
Really? Because that would be a great sacrifice where you sacrifice for him, his livelihood, and say, we just can't date anymore, but I got your job back. I mean, I think, Jen, that's a brilliant solution.
E
Broker the deal with the boss and say, listen. I mean, just come straight up real with the boss. Say, listen, I was, like, minutes away from breaking up with him. You know, whatever. I'm sorry that we, you know, did whatever we did behind the company's back, but I really want you to hire him back and know that we. There is nothing ever gonna happen ever again.
F
But that's not what you tell the boyfriend. You tell him I'm sacrificing our relationship. Right.
B
It's a win, win, win, win all the way around.
F
Right. But you're saying that won't work because the boss wouldn't rehire him anyway.
C
Well. And his position's gone. Someone up into his role.
D
Well, you're gonna be with him for the next six months.
F
Yeah. Is. You gotta find him a job before you can break up with him.
D
Wow.
B
All right, let's take some calls on this. Can you hang out for a couple of seconds?
C
Sure thing, guys.
B
I mean, the dude quits his job so she could stay at work. So how long has he bought? Because she really wants to break up with this dude. Good morning, Shawna. You're on Q100.
G
Hey, guys. How are y' all doing?
B
Good, thank you.
G
I don't think she should do anything that she doesn't want to do. I would just explain to him that. That it just wasn't working out and. Because obviously it wouldn't have ever worked out if he wouldn't have ever had this kind of conversation with her or communicated with her about this. Then what else is there that wouldn't have been communicated about.
B
Hey, Joanne. Good Morning here on Q100.
G
Morning, guys. How are y'?
C
All?
B
Good. How are you?
H
Good.
G
I'm. Oh, God, where do I start? I am so tired of women not being happy. With what? With chivalry. There is such a thing. Okay? Women are always looking for integrity. I want a man with integrity. Blah, blah, blah. That's pretty. That shows a lot of integrity.
B
Hold on here, Joanne. I mean, if she doesn't have any chemistry with the guy, then she just.
G
How do you know? Six months. I mean, keep trying.
B
Well, how long are you going to stay in a relationship when you're not into it anymore?
G
I don't know. It sounded really good when I was
H
on hold, but now it doesn't.
F
Well, so. I mean, because the whole thing with Marie is that she already was not interested in him when he did this. So chivalry's only there if you're interested in the person. I mean, we've talked about this, where there's something that can be sweet and romantic or it can be borderline creepy, depending on how attractive you find them.
G
That's true. That's true. Okay, you've changed my mind. Yay.
B
Glad we see you on that.
G
Do not believe in love.
B
Good morning to Kim. You are on Q100.
G
Okay, I have to say this, okay? Her karma is already screwed because she's even thinking about leaving him. So she's gonna have to, like, do something very Hollywood, like have his love child or something. There's no. I mean, you can't leave him. Like, I get it. There's no chemistry. I wouldn't want to be with somebody that I don't have chemistry with. Okay, but I can't.
F
I mean, but you wouldn't leave.
G
It's a recession. The dude just quit his job. Yeah, like, okay, karma is coming to knock you off the track if you believe this guy.
B
I mean, she didn't do anything wrong, though. I mean, how long she's supposed to stay in a relationship that she's not into? So how long does.
E
A while.
B
Like, how long.
G
Okay, I'm taking a people poll. All the kids in my car. How long should she stay in the relationship?
D
Well, he at least deserves a Christmas present and a New Year's kiss. I'm just.
G
They all say. They all say until he gets another job.
F
Well, she needs to help him find another. If she wants out this relationship, she's got to get him a job.
E
Otherwise, I'm talking Valentine's Day.
B
No way she's supposed to stay In a relationship. Six months because of this?
F
Well, at least through the holidays. If she didn't help him find a job.
B
Hey, Sean. Good morning.
G
I agree with you. Actually, I don't think you should stay with him because you're wasting your time. You're wasting his time. He did it on his own volition. He didn't talk to her about it. So the longer you keep him trapped in a relationship, that's not fair to him in the long run.
B
So really, she's keeping him trapped in the relationship now?
G
If she stays with them, Yes.
E
I give you points because you used the word volition.
B
Good morning, Joy. You're on Q100. Hi.
G
Oh, you guys drive me crazy when you let these crazy ladies call in.
E
Who?
C
Why?
D
Is she crazy?
G
No, not the lady that's calling all the women that are giving her advice. She did not ask him to quit his job. She didn't want to be with him before he did it. Go ahead and leave him. It's not your job to help him find a job. He should have thought about that before he quit. It's not your job.
F
We are so selfish now. Except he's not being selfish. I feel bad for him.
D
She had no idea. He didn't know. He didn't know that she didn't like him anymore.
C
Unless. Did you give him a. I would
B
not want to be the guy in that relationship that is with somebody that has to fake it through the holidays. Nancy. Nancy.
G
Yes.
B
Hey, go ahead.
G
He cannot stay with this guy through the holidays. He might even propose. He quit himself for her.
B
That's right. You guys didn't think about that.
G
I mean, he might Christmas Eve with the damn ring.
E
No.
F
She can say no. Then he'll leave. She can say no to the ring.
B
No.
G
I mean, she can say no right now and get over it.
F
Oh, and that's right. He can't afford an engagement ring.
D
He has no job.
G
Where is she from, Bert?
B
She was from Haiti. One more call. Good morning, Brent. You're on Q100.
H
You got some testosterone on here, beautiful.
B
Bring it, man.
H
I was just gonna say, I mean, number one, it's not like they're barely out of the honeymoon stage. I mean, she just doesn't need. He did this on his own accord. She needs to get rid of them. But if she. If she wants to come up with some kind of excuse, just tell. She needs to go back to him and say, hey, you may have fallen on the sword for me, but he also told me I either got to quit my job or get rid of you. So, you know, there's. There's a. There's an out right there. But regardless, she needs to not prolong this. Just double.
B
All good advice. All right.
F
I just think it's funny how you said you need some testosterone on this show when it was the guy that made the sacrifice and did this and put us in the situation to begin with. And she's just trying to be nice to him.
B
It's not about nice at this point. What's your final. Your. Your final advice, Wendy?
D
Find him a job or you're staying with him through Valentine's Day. I agree with Jen. Yes. You have to at least get him a Christmas present, a New Year's kiss, and a Valentine's Day gift.
B
Chan.
E
Yep, I agree with Wendy.
B
Through Valentine's Day. Six months.
E
Unless he gets another job.
B
Melissa?
F
I don't think through Valentine's Day, but I think here are the holidays, and he didn't have a job. I think if you want to leave him, then you help him find another job, and you can make that effort. He made the effort for you.
B
And then break up five more acts of intimacy.
E
5.
D
The difference between guys and girls.
F
That's your answer for everything, though. We had the pet communicator on yesterday, and you gave the same advice up there. It's weird.
B
The number varies, but the end result is always the same. Okay, Marie, we would love to talk to you here in the next couple of days or next couple of weeks or on Valentine's Day and see if you're still in this relationship. Okay.
C
All right. Thanks, guys.
H
All right.
B
Thanks for calling.
G
Bye. Bye.
C
Bye.
B
The Birch Show.
Air Date: May 12, 2026
In this episode, the Bert Show team—Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others—dive into a dramatic listener dilemma. The main theme revolves around a complicated workplace romance: Marie (a pseudonym, voice disguised) confides that her boyfriend quit his job to comply with their workplace's strict no-dating policy, but Marie now wants to end the relationship. The hosts and callers debate what Marie owes her boyfriend, exploring boundaries, sacrifice, communication, and ethics when emotions and jobs are on the line.
The Bert Show crew and callers mix empathy, humor, and reality checks as they untangle Marie's workplace romance mess. The consensus? Marie isn't obligated to stay out of guilt or help her boyfriend find a new job but should be honest and mindful about ending things, especially since he acted unilaterally. While humorously suggesting holiday deadlines, most agree that delaying the breakup helps no one—proving sometimes the right thing is also the hardest.