Vault: He wants to defend black women

Summary

The Bert Show – Vault: He Wants to Defend Black Women

Air Date: August 3, 2026

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show centers on candid discussions about racial and gender dynamics in dating, particularly focusing on the stereotype of the “snappy finger Black woman.” Intern Brandon, a young Black man, opens up about his dating preferences and discomfort with “attitudes,” prompting strong reactions from fellow staff members and callers, including Carl, who is also Black and married to a Black woman. The segment navigates personal experiences, addresses stereotypes, explores the roots of relationship preferences, and includes a range of listener perspectives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Brandon’s Perspective on Dating Black Women (02:17–02:45)

• Brandon (Intern), a Black man, explains he has never dated a Black woman and feels uncomfortable with "attitudes," attributing this trait to his circle of Black female friends:
  • “I just don’t deal well with attitudes. And in my life, all the black friends I have, female friends, have been known to have the snappy finger attitude… I love about them when they're in my corner and not when they're against me.” (02:19)
• He clarifies it’s not exclusive to Black women—he struggles with attitude from women of any race.

2. Carl Counters Stereotypes & Champions Black Women (02:54–04:46)

• Carl (co-host, Black, married to a Black woman) points out that Brandon’s framing perpetuates harmful stereotypes:
  • “When you make the statement that black women are snappy and all that… that's not the truth. And I hate that you said that, to put that out there to kind of feed into that stereotype… The strength, the beauty, the passion, the vivaciousness, the tenacity of Black women, man. It's untouchable. You can't touch it.” (03:29–04:00)
• Carl frames these traits as positive—expressions of passion and strength, not negatives to be avoided.

3. Personal Background Informing Preferences (04:48–05:39)

• Brandon shares that his aversion to conflict stems from family experiences:
  • “We grew up with a lot of arguing in the house between my mom and my dad… I vowed never to be in a relationship where there’s arguing.” (05:07)
• Carl connects this to children of divorced parents often avoiding confrontation due to past trauma:
  • “Friends of mine who are divorced kids tend to avoid conflict because conflict to them… reminds them of it being a negative outcome.” (05:25)

4. Listener Call-Ins: Support & Critique

Elon (Black female caller): Defends Brandon

• “I'm a black female… there aren't a lot of unsnappy black women. I'm a black female, and I get snappy myself sometimes… and maybe he hasn't seen, you know, black females who are nice. I just want to tell him to keep his head up.” (06:08–07:05)

Maya (Black woman): Supports Carl, But Respects Choices

• “Brandon can choose to date whoever he wants to date… I just don't think he should put the statement out there that snappy finger black women he tries to stay away from… I don't feel like black women should call getting mad at Brandon.” (08:13)

Asia (Caller): Raises Concerns About Show’s Focus

• “I'm just wondering why you guys are so racist… all you guys talk about is black women and how black women are.” (09:06)

Ashley (White female caller): Points Out Attitude Not Exclusive to Black Women

• “I am a white female, and I am offended by what Brandon has to say because, boy, you think we don't have attitude? I'll show you attitude. I'm a redhead, so don't tell me.” (10:08)

5. Carl on Handling Strong Women & Accountability (07:06–08:04)

• Carl stresses that “attitude” is a universal trait and that avoiding strong women (of any background) is not the answer:
  • “If you have anybody approach you with attitude, you have to address it. You can't just veer away from black people, black women.…You may encounter some sort of adversity, but as a man, you have to learn how to address it.” (07:24–07:55)
  • “Don't run away from it, dude. That's just manning up on anything. Women, whatever you have to deal with.” (08:01–08:04)

6. Humor, Camaraderie & Light-Hearted Moments

• Throughout, the hosts keep the tone real and humorous, teasing Brandon and themselves.
• Example: “You'll watch us turn into snappy finger white women, right?” (05:58)
• Brandon, lightheartedly on public reaction: “After this, I just determined I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life. I'm dedicating my life to sports.” (10:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Carl on Black Women:

“The strength, the beauty, the passion, the vivaciousness, the tenacity of Black women, man. It's untouchable. You can't touch it.” – Carl (03:29–04:00)

Brandon on Avoiding Attitudes:

“I just don't deal well with attitudes. And in my life, all the black friends that I have, female friends, have been known to have the snappy finger attitude.” – Brandon (02:19)

Maya on Group Offense:

“I just don't feel like black women should be calling, getting mad at Brandon… I don't think tomorrow we'll wake up and see that all the black women in the state of Georgia have taken the bridge because Brandon doesn't want to date us. We're good.” – Maya (08:13–08:48)

Ashley on Universal Attitude:

“Boy, you think we don't have attitude? I'll show you attitude. I'm a redhead, so don't tell me.” – Ashley (10:08)

Carl on Dealing with Attitude:

“If you have anybody approach you with attitude, you have to address it. You can't just veer away from black people, black women.…you have to learn how to address it.” – Carl (07:24–07:55)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:17] Brandon explains his dating preferences and “snappy finger” comment
• [03:29] Carl responds, debunks stereotypes, and uplifts Black women
• [05:07] Brandon reveals personal background with conflict avoidance
• [06:08] Elon calls in to defend Brandon’s perspective
• [07:24] Carl advises how to handle strong women, regardless of race
• [08:13] Maya calls, emphasizing agency and moving past offense
• [09:06] Asia challenges the show’s focus and use of comparisons
• [10:08] Ashley highlights that all women can have “attitude,” not just Black women

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Tone & Style

True to The Bert Show’s hallmark, the discussion is direct, personal, and alternately earnest and funny. The team and callers handle a sensitive topic with a mixture of candor, teasing, and warmth, ensuring multiple perspectives get airtime, and listeners come away with food for thought about stereotypes, personal baggage, and the art of gracefully confronting differences.

Transcript

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[Burt]

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[Melissa]

get it?

[Burt]

The bird show.

[Host 1]

Who's at Mike Music? Do we play Brandon's or Carl's or both?

[Host 2]

I have to play both.

[Carl]

They're both good.

[Host 1]

Natalie. You got it. That's Brandon.

[Host 2]

And the reason we're we're inviting them both on on mic with us there's Carl's. And the reason we're having them both on mic with us is because we've had a debate. Not really a debate, a conversation based on a sentence that Brandon said about dating black women and specifically dating snappy finger black women is how he described them. Natalie just lowered the monitor so she could look right at Brandon right now.

[Carl]

Do you consider producer Natalie a snappy finger black woman?

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Melissa]

I love you, Natalie.

[Host 1]

Here comes the mic. Natalie's at Mike Music.

[Elon]

Hi Natalie.

[Ashley]

We're laughing because of the look on Natalie's face. Good morning Ms. Producer Natalie.

[Host 1]

Natalie's so sweet too. So.

[Host 3]

And that's the thing. It's like I've never been mean to anyone in here. Excuse me.

[Melissa]

Uh oh.

[Carl]

Kidding me.

[Melissa]

Uh oh.

[Brandon]

Excuse me.

[Host 3]

Have I ever been mean to you?

[Brandon]

Mean? No. Given a hard time? Yes.

[Host 3]

Because I like you.

[Melissa]

Uh huh.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Host 3]

Not right now, but.

[Host 2]

So Brandon, we'll give you a chance. We'll give you a chance because Carl's the one who really wanted to weigh in on this. And Natalie, you're more than welcome to participate as well. And everybody knows our phone number, 404741Q100. Brandon, just in 60 seconds or less, what is your point of view on dating black women versus white women? And Brandon is a black man who interns for us.

[Brandon]

I haven't dated a black woman. Never opposed to dating a black woman. I just don't deal well with attitudes. And in my life I've all the black friends that I have, female friends have been known to have the snappy finger attitude. And it's something that I love about them when they're in my corner and it's not when they're against me. So I just don't Deal well with attitudes in general of any woman, no matter what race.

[Host 3]

That's what I think you should say. You should say all women and not black women.

[Carl]

But I think what caused the controversy is that you have you specified black women in the first time we talked to you. So that's where this is all rippling from.

[Host 1]

And Carl, you've got a response to this, right? Because Carl's also black and married to a black woman. Oh, yeah.

[Carl]

Is she snappy finger?

[Carl (continued)]

Is she snappy fingers? Black daughters and everything.

[Host 1]

And Carl says that this is more of a reflection on Brandon than it is on black women. Or as Brandon would call snappy fingered black women.

[Carl (continued)]

Yeah. And what I want to say, Brandon, like listening to Brandon and his dating thing and all that. I have to cut him, cut him a little slack too, because he's. Don't get me wrong, man, you know, I got love for you. You my man, 30 grand. But if you were my little brother, I smack in the back of your head. That didn't stop.

[Brandon]

Most people around you smack you in

[Carl (continued)]

the back of your head. You sound like my nephew sometimes. And it's just like when it comes to, when you make the statement that you. That black women are snappy and all that good. Come on, man, that's not the truth. And I hate that you said that to put that out there to kind of feed into that stereotype because we all know your mother, she will go off on you if she needs to. It's really, man, you got. It's like the strength, the beauty, the passion, the vivaciousness, the tenacity of black women, man. It's untouchable. You can't touch it.

[Host 2]

Carl, if you weren't married, you would have been so married by five o' clock tonight with that last sentence.

[Host 1]

And you love it, right? That's what you honor and love about black women, right?

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Carl (continued)]

Oh, I love it. I mean, for real, man, seriously, like that. Not only that passion, that Lisa, I remember that caller. You cannot forget Lisa. But the passion. Not only do you get that passion when they're upset with you, you get that same passion when they're, when they're not upset with you. So that's what you got to understand. That passion, man, that's just a passion. Now, not everyone is snappy, fake. And I know you've already said that, but it just bothered me, man, that you would put that out there knowing. And then you even said that Lisa sounded like your mom. So would you not date a woman like your mom? You just gotta know How.

[Host 1]

How do you respond to that, Brandon?

[Brandon]

I mean, would I date a woman like my mom? Yeah, I would. But again, I don't do well with attitudes, so that's a problem with me and my mom, too. When my mom gets overly attitudeish towards me, I just don't talk to her. Me and my mom died.

[Host 1]

Are you afraid of confrontation? Is that it?

[Brandon]

I just don't. Well, to be honest, we grew up with a lot of arguing in the house between my mom and my dad. So I spent a lot of time as a kid in my room listening to them arguing and stuff like that. So I vowed never to be in a relationship or situation where there's arguing.

[Carl]

Are your parents divorced?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Carl]

And the reason I ask that is because I know that people, friends of mine who are divorced kids, tend to avoid conflict because conflict to them and not to put words in your mouth, but it seems to remind them of it being a negative outcome.

[Host 1]

Yeah, I can understand that. That makes. That makes more sense.

[Host 2]

Hey, is it Elon?

[Elon]

Yes.

[Host 2]

Hey, Elon. How are you?

[Elon]

I'm good. How are you guys?

[Brandon]

Good.

[Host 2]

Welcome to the show.

[Elon]

Hi. Okay, well, I love the show. Been listening since I was 14. Now I'm 23.

[Maya]

You guys aren't old, but I love you guys.

[Host 2]

All right, Elon, thanks a lot for calling.

[Carl]

Bye.

[Ashley]

Bye.

[Host 1]

See you later. You'll watch us turn into snappy finger white women, right?

[Host 2]

What's your comment for, Brandon?

[Elon]

I just wanted to call in and defend intern Brandon because I'm a black female, and I mean, I grew up in a majority white neighborhood, but I did identify myself with the other black people that grew up the way I did. And you can't fault him for that. And I feel like people calling up and giving him attitude for making him, you know, feel wrong for the way he grew up and the way he is. It's just wrong. And I just wanted to tell him that, you know, don't let them get you down, because really, there aren't a lot of, you know, there aren't a lot of unsnappy black women. I'm a black female, and I get snappy myself sometimes, and I can see where he's coming from. And maybe he hasn't seen, you know, the other side of, you know, black females who are nice. And I just, you know, I just want to tell him, keep his head up.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Carl (continued)]

And you know what? I want to say this to you as well, Brandon, because I'm not saying you have the right to not want to be bothered by a Snappy woman who wants to be bothered by a woman with an attitude. Every woman develops an attitude.

[Carl]

I just raised my hand. It's a turn on for me.

[Carl (continued)]

But what I'm saying is, my thing is when Burt mentioned that, I felt strong about that. What I feel about that is that you as a man, if you have anybody approach you with attitude, you have to address it. You can't just veer away from black people, black women. You know what I'm saying? So if you have dealing with a strong woman, period, you may encounter some sort of adversity, but as a man, you have to learn how to address it. There's been plenty of times that I've dealt with strong women and had to pull them to the side. Listen, calm your little ass down a little bit. You may have to address it.

[Host 2]

You don't say that. No, you don't.

[Carl (continued)]

I mean, but in a way,

[Host 1]

saying, don't run away from it.

[Carl (continued)]

Don't run away from it, dude.

[Host 1]

Or avoid it.

[Carl (continued)]

That's just manning up on anything. That's manning up on anything. Women, whatever you have to deal with.

[Host 2]

Hey, Maya, welcome to the show.

[Maya]

Hi.

[Host 2]

What's going on?

[Maya]

I was calling because I'm a black woman and I agree with Carl. Brandon can choose to date whoever he wants to date, and I think that's fine. I just don't think he should put the statement out there that snappy finger black women he stayed, you know, he tries to stay away from. And I also want to say that I just don't feel like black women should be calling, getting mad at Brandon, because I don't think tomorrow we'll wake up and see that all the black women in the state of Georgia have taken the bridge because Brandon doesn't want to date us.

[Melissa]

We're good.

[Ashley]

We're good, Brandon.

[Brandon]

I mean, if every woman. If every woman. If every woman who'd taken the bridge that didn't want to date me, there'd be about three. Three females left in Atlanta. So I understand. I don't take that personally.

[Host 2]

Hey, Asia, welcome to the bird show.

[Melissa]

Hi. I just have a question for you guys.

[Host 2]

What?

[Melissa]

Lately I've been hearing a lot of, like, I'm just wondering why you guys are so racist.

[Host 2]

Why we're racist?

[Melissa]

I mean, because lately it seems like all you guys talk about is black women and how black women are and how, like, I mean, at one point I heard Melissa compare being gay to being black. So when?

[Carl]

Today. I didn't do that today.

[Melissa]

Not today. Not today. It was a while ago. And I tried to call him, but I never got in. But I can't respond because.

[Burt]

I don't know.

[Melissa]

Kind of messed up. Like, I just don't understand.

[Host 2]

So you. Are you uncomfortable with. With discussions about race?

[Melissa]

I mean, I'm. I'm not uncomfortable with it. I mean, I get that or whatever, but it's just like the way you were comparing a. Like a black person to being gay. It's not the same at all. That's why I'm just like. I don't understand.

[Host 1]

If I.

[Carl]

If I could remember the context, I could respond. But, I mean, I don't know how long you're talking. You know, how long ago, what context and what she talking about?

[Host 1]

And she just. She just wanted to call in.

[Carl]

And this morning I said that. Yeah, snappy finger black women turned me on.

[Host 2]

Hey, Ashley, welcome to the show.

[Carl (continued)]

Me too.

[Ashley]

I am a white female, and I am offended by what Brandon has to say because, boy, you think we don't have attitude? I'll show you attitude. I'm a redhead, so don't tell me.

[Host 3]

How about you?

[Host 2]

You got a snappy finger, Ginger lady. Smile now.

[Brandon]

I heard the hole.

[Host 2]

Hey, Ashley, thank you.

[Ashley]

Need to be with Carl's side and say that every woman can have an attitude.

[Host 2]

Hey, Ashley, thank you for calling.

[Carl]

Brandon's just the punching bag, too.

[Brandon]

After this, I just determined I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life. I'm dedicating my life to sports.

[Carl (continued)]

But nah, though, I mean, Brandon's a real good dude, real good personality. Let his light shine whenever he needs to, man. But you just. You're just young, dude. Hang with me sometimes.

[Host 2]

Carl's gonna straighten you out. Carl takes care of every guy in his family. He's got nephews. There are people in this world who send their kids to Carl and say, hey, this is your nephew. And Carl just believes him and takes him in and straightens the kid out

[Carl (continued)]

and sends him home. Exactly.

[Host 2]

It's a car. It's a car camp.

[Burt]

Carl, you're on the Burt Show.