Vault: He Wants To Know Why She Ghosted Him After Their First Date

Summary

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The Bert Show – Episode Summary

Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Episode: Vault: He Wants To Know Why She Ghosted Him After Their First Date
Date: December 17, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on classic first-date drama: After what he thought was a fantastic evening, Alan can’t figure out why Tara never called him back. The Bert Show team mediates a candid, on-air conversation to get to the bottom of Tara’s sudden “ghosting.” The main theme: honesty and miscommunication in dating, plus the pitfalls of trying too hard to impress.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Alan’s Side: A Perfect Night?

Timestamps: [01:33]–[03:50]

• Alan recounts running into Tara (a former coworker) at the mall, leading to a spontaneous seafood dinner date.
• The dinner stretches from early evening to the next morning—“I didn’t leave there until 5am in the morning.” ([02:46], Alan)
• According to Alan, the night was full of easy conversation, laughter, and organic fun, including time with Tara's friends.
• He insists he was “totally a gentleman…we did kiss a little bit, but it was like, totally just chatting.” ([02:47], Alan)
• Alan is left baffled by Tara suddenly ghosting him after such a seemingly great experience.

2. The Show’s Take: Picking Apart Post-Date Anxiety

Timestamps: [03:17]–[03:50]

• The Bert Show panel affirms how post-date silence leads to endless overthinking and dissecting.
• They set ground rules for the on-air confrontation: Tara gets to “say whatever she wants” in pursuit of total honesty.
  • “Your feelings, you have to set those aside, because what’s most important here is just that you have cloth the whole thing.” ([03:24], Host)

3. Tara’s Truth: Restaurant Roleplay Gone Wrong

Timestamps: [03:52]–[06:39]

• When Tara joins the call, she explains that while Alan was “a very nice guy,” something “felt a little funny” about how the restaurant treated them.
• She later hears through a friend-of-a-friend that Alan had allegedly “paid the manager to act friendly…went over there ahead of time and brought him his credit card and just said, pretend like you know me …” ([04:40], Tara)
  • “Everybody at the restaurant was making fun of me…and of Alan.” ([06:16], Tara)
• Tara says she felt embarrassed and weirded out: “I’ve never heard of anybody doing anything like that before. And I was, you know, I was embarrassed. And also, you know, I thought, what a weird person. Why would you do that?” ([06:09], Tara)

4. Alan’s Response: Good Intentions, Bad Execution

Timestamps: [06:41]–[09:45]

• Alan admits partial truth: he did visit the restaurant to “make a reservation” and “really want this to be a special date,” but denied trying to appear as a VIP or bribing anyone excessively.
  • “It’s a half truth. It’s an exaggerated truth.” ([06:43], Alan)
  • “I did not give him any extra cash or any extra money or anything like that. But I did say…don’t shove me in the back, give me a nice table…” ([06:48], Alan)
  • Pressed by the hosts, Alan concedes: “I didn’t tip him 100, but I did tip them a little something.” ([07:24], Alan)
• The panel discusses the line between planning/thoughtfulness and faking status, with some hosts defending Alan’s intentions.

5. Panel Debate: Gesture or Deception?

Timestamps: [07:34]–[10:04]

• The team debates whether Alan’s advance planning was thoughtful or “phony.”
• One host argues: “We always razz guys for not planning ahead enough…Well, now here we have a guy who went ahead to the restaurant. The only way we know…is from a friend of a friend who was a waitress…” ([08:13], Host)
• Others stress that if Alan paid to seem like a VIP, it’s dishonest: “All women want is honesty. Give me honesty.” ([09:16], Host)

6. Tara’s Final Word and Closure

Timestamps: [10:07]–[11:19]

• Tara gives the honest truth: “First, I just felt like his behavior was bizarre…I just feel like if he doesn’t think that he’s enough…maybe he’s not enough.” ([10:09], Tara)
• She confesses it wasn’t just the restaurant scene—Alan was “a little bit too outgoing” with her friends and the whole evening left her uncomfortable.
  • “I don’t think that you need to be phony.” ([10:35], Tara)
• When asked if Alan’s explanation changes her mind, she says: “It started to, but after what he just said, I feel a little…not that interested.” ([11:12], Tara)
• Alan comes to peace: “The fact that she would do this and not call me back maybe means that she’s not the person for me.” ([10:25], Alan)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Alan, on the date:

  “We hung out there for a long time. And then I brought her back to her place and a bunch of her friends were there. And it just, like the night just kept on going on and on and on and on and on. I didn’t leave there until 5am in the morning.” ([02:46])

• Tara, explaining her feelings:

  “I found out…everybody at the restaurant was making fun of me… because he had paid the manager to act friendly to us.” ([06:16])

• Host, on setting the rules:

  “If we get her on, she can say whatever she wants. And your feelings, you have to set those aside, because what’s most important here is just that you have cloth the whole thing.” ([03:24])

• Panelist’s defense of Alan:

  “We always razz guys for not planning ahead enough…now here we have a guy who went ahead to the restaurant… The only way we know that he tried to be treated like an extra VIP is from a friend of a friend who was a waitress who was snickering at the restaurant.” ([08:13])

• Tara, summing up her decision:

  “I just feel like if he doesn’t think that he’s enough, then…maybe he’s not enough.” ([10:09])

• Alan, finding closure:

  “The fact that she would do this and not call me back maybe means that she’s not the person for me.” ([10:25])

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Important Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------|-------------| | Alan recounts the date | 01:33–03:50 | | Tara joins & explains ghosting | 03:52–06:39 | | Alan responds to accusations | 06:41–07:45 | | Panel debates gesture vs phony | 07:34–10:04 | | Tara gives final word/closure | 10:07–11:19 |

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Tone & Style

• The episode maintains the Bert Show’s signature blend of light-hearted banter and authentic, sometimes brutally honest, conversation.
• The hosts engage directly and supportively, but push for real answers and foster candid debate.
• Both guests, Alan and Tara, are granted space to express their sides, providing real emotional insights into honest miscommunication and modern dating dilemmas.

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Takeaways

• Good intentions can easily be misinterpreted in the complicated dance of dating.
• Gestures meant to impress can backfire if perceived as inauthentic.
• Direct communication, while sometimes uncomfortably frank, can provide the closure both parties need.
• The show’s open format turns awkward modern dating moments into communal, sometimes cathartic, entertainment.

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Transcript

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[B]

The Birch Show.

[A]

We understand you're a little miffed.

[B]

I'm like, I'm miffed and confused and dazed and everything.

[D]

Well, tell us about it now. What's her name?

[B]

Her name is Tara.

[D]

Tara. Okay.

[B]

You know what? I've known her. It wasn't like I just met her out of the blue. It's like I knew her years and years ago. We used to work together at this restaurant. And she was great. I mean, she was like a total like totally cool girl. Totally nice. We got along really well. And then I bumped into her at the mall just like a week and a half ago. And I invited her out Friday night. So, I don't know, we went out for. I knew that she liked seafood. We went out to a seafood place. It was cool. And then this like really quick dinner turned out to a really long Dinner. And then we continued to hang out. We talked so much. It was like, so easy. You know how that is? You know when it was easy? What time did the night begin? And what time did the night end? Well, I started early on purpose, just in case it sort of bombed, you know?

[A]

That's a good idea.

[B]

So it started like, at like 6:30 or so. 6:45. And then we finished dinner around 10:30 at night or something. We just kept on hanging out. And then she took me to this patio bar somewhere, I don't even know. And we just. We hung out there for a long time. And then I brought her back to her place and a bunch of her friends were there. And it just, like the night just kept on going on and on and on and on and on. I didn't leave there until 5am in the morning.

[D]

That's awesome.

[B]

I was totally a gentleman. I mean, we did kiss a little bit, but it was like, totally just chatting. One of those cool, cool nights. Just like, talking and hanging out and listening and stuff like that. I thought it was just great. Was it just the two of you or was it a group? You said they were friends. Yeah. Yeah. When we first got there, there was a bunch of her friends there, and we had a very cool tie with them. We were laughing a lot.

[A]

Is there anything that happened with you and the friends?

[B]

I mean, not that I could think. Really, really, really? Truthfully, not that I could think of. I thought it went really well. And then we hung out for a while after that and.

[D]

Cause I just think friends are so influential in a decision that I just wonder if they are playing a factor.

[A]

This is how these things go, you know? Like, after a great first date, if it doesn't happen the second date, you just start picking apart and dissecting every little thing that happened in that 24 hours, you know? All right, Alan, let's do this. Okay. We're gonna get Tara on with us, and we're gonna ask her to come clean with you. Now, you have to make this agreement that if we get her on, she can say whatever she wants. And your feelings, you have to set those aside, because what's most important here is just that you have cloth the whole thing.

[B]

I will.

[A]

All right. Hey, Tara.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Hi. How are you?

[C]

I'm good. How are you?

[A]

You're on the radio right now in all the hits. Q100.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

Do you know why you're on?

[C]

I'm not exactly sure. I have an idea.

[A]

All right, let me just introduce you back to Alan here real Quick. Hey, Alan.

[B]

Hey. Hey, Tara.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

How's it going? What we want you to do here, because Alan has kind of been scratching his head over the last week because he thought you guys had a killer time for those 12 or 13 hours y' all hung out. And he's saying even if you guys never go out ever again, it's cool with him. But really what he wants is, like, total honesty on why there hasn't been a follow up call just so we can have some closure on this whole thing. Isn't that right, Alan?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Gentle honesty, but she can say whatever she wants.

[B]

She can say whatever she wants.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Brutal honesty.

[B]

Died of curiosity here.

[A]

Brutal honesty.

[C]

Okay. We did have a very good time, and Alan really is a very nice guy. But what happened was, well, we were at the restaurant and it was sort of like we got the star treatment. The manager came over with a bottle of wine and he's like, you know, hello, Alan, how are you? And, you know, there's a lot of nodding going on. And I was just like, oh, you know, he must be a regular here. And they were treating him, you know, like he was like a movie star or something. And I thought that was, you know, it was nice. But something felt, I don't know, I felt a little funny, but I didn't care, you know, I was like, well, this is nice, this is nice and I'll buy anything because I would love to meet somebody. So anyway, afterwards, I ran into a friend of a friend, whatever, who works at the restaurant. I talked to her for a minute and whatever. It turned out that a friend of mine called me who knows her and me and said that everybody at the restaurant was making fun of me because. And of Alan because he had paid the manager to act friendly to us, to, you know, he, like, went over there ahead of time and brought him his credit card and just said, pretend like you know me and did all this stuff. And it was like, I've never heard of anybody doing anything like that before. And I was, you know, I was embarrassed. And also, you know, I thought, what a weird person. Why would you do that?

[A]

All right, before we even ask Alan if that's the truth. Who did you hear that from, Tara?

[C]

I heard it from my friend who is friends with a girl that works at the restaurant who told me that everybody, all the servers in the restaurant were making fun of us because they had known. The manager told them, of course, that this guy came in and said, hey.

[B]

You know, so he went in. He went in even before your Date gave his credit card down, said, send over a bottle of wine, come say hi. Take care of the bill. Just put it on my credit card. I'm trying to impress this girl.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Alan.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Is that true?

[B]

It's a half truth. It's an exaggerated truth.

[C]

What's the truth?

[B]

I went there earlier to, like, make a reservation, right? Cause I really like this restaurant. I couldn't remember the name of it. And I went there and, like, the manager was there, and I said, you know, this is. I really want this to be, like, a really cool date. I really want it to be a special date. And so, like, I sort of, like, pumped it up a little bit. I did not give him any extra cash or any extra money or anything like that. But I did say that, you know, that this means a lot to me. Don't shove me in the back, you know, give me a nice table, you know, and stuff like that. And he went a little overboard with it. And I don't know what the deal was, but I had to go along with it.

[A]

You slip him like, 100 or something? Or 50?

[B]

I didn't flip him 100, but I did flip them a little something.

[A]

You slip him.

[C]

I slipped him.

[D]

I didn't ask him that.

[C]

But first of all, he just.

[B]

Guys, this is the deal.

[A]

What's the deal?

[B]

Why is that an offensive question?

[D]

It just seems like you guys are just totally trying to embarrass this guy, and I'm taking the opposite. I think it's actually kind of cool that he went to the restaurant ahead of time and wanted it to be a special dinner.

[A]

Easy.

[B]

I seriously did not. I did not tell them that. I wanted to seem like I was, like, a VIP or anything. I just wanted this not to be a. You know, like when you go to a restaurant and then suddenly the whole date gets messed up because you can't get a table on time and you're waiting there forever and it stinks and you want to go to another restaurant. I just wanted to be cool and without having to worry about that. I don't think it's a big deal about that.

[D]

But why did he have to inform the whole staff? That's. That's what. Well, maybe he's an unprofessional manager of the restaurant. I'm almost taking the complete opposite of you guys.

[B]

I'm actually on Jen's side because I think.

[D]

Okay, well, listen. Okay, just listen to this. We always razz guys for not planning ahead enough, for showing up to a day without hitting the ATM first For forgetting to shave, for not wearing clean boxers or whatever. Rip on guys for not planning ahead, right? We're always saying plan ahead, make a woman feel special. Well, now here we have a guy who went ahead to the restaurant. The only way we know that he tried to be treated like an extra VIP is from a friend of a friend who was a waitress who was snickering at the restaurant. Okay, if he's telling us he went there to try to make an extra special date, say, give us a good.

[B]

Table, make sure you don't get a table near the kitchen.

[D]

Like, whatever it is. I think, I think that it's. I mean, I really think that it's nice. I mean, I think it's a nice gesture. I think that him planning ahead for the date is something that we should be like, proud of him for not going.

[A]

How much did you slip him? Cheap ass cheesy. Because yeah, it totally has something to do with it. Because if he goes in there and he says, look, here's $50, make me to be a bigger star than I am, then he's already. Then he's already lying about who he is. And all women want is honesty. Give me honesty.

[B]

So if he goes on a minute.

[A]

Alan, and he pretends to be like some kind of guy that he's not, it makes no sense.

[D]

How do you know he tried to pretend to be some guy he's not? The only way she knows that is a great. Who knows a friend who heard something about snickering at the restaurant. It's the manager wanted to make fun of this guy because he thought Allen was a dork or whatever and he's having a bad night and the manager's trying to, like, stroke his own ego and poke. Poke fun at a customer and is a poor manager of a restaurant, then why couldn't that be this situation? The more important thing is, and I understand Jen, your point, I think, but you use the make a woman feel special. And the reason Tara backed out is because she was made to feel like a fool because she didn't appreciate the fact that she's being made fun of. And that. And so she. I mean, something. Something is missing for the whole staff to be making fun of this couple.

[B]

She was made to be. Feel like a fool by the manager, not by Alan.

[A]

Tara, what was that? What did this say to you?

[C]

Well, what this is. First, I just felt like his behavior was bizarre. I thought that was a bizarre choice to make. I just feel like if you know how it's awkward and I felt like if he doesn't think that he's enough, then. You know what I mean? I just. Then maybe he's not enough.

[B]

I want to say this. I mean, it's like Tara's a totally nice woman, but the fact that she would do this and not call me back maybe means that she's not the person for me.

[C]

Oh, God. All right. Probably not. Probably not, because I felt like you were a little bit too outgoing with my friends, and I felt a little awkwardness. And maybe you are not comfortable with yourself and that's why you had to do that. And there was a mixture of things that happened. It wasn't just that. It was just the whole feeling after. After everything. And I'm not. I don't think that you're a bad person. I just don't think that you need to be phony.

[A]

In listening to his explanation. It hasn't. It hasn't brought you around even a little bit to want to go out with him again?

[C]

It started to, but after what he just said, I feel a little. Not that. No, not that interested.

[B]

I don't think Alan is going to have any shortage of women to choose from once Jen and I get to our emails later today. And we'll get your email from Tracy and forward them all along to you. And you'll get some this week.

[A]

Maybe even get you to the primal mating party.

[B]

You can call ahead and have him clean the kangaroo pan extra special for you.

[A]

I will let both of you guys go. At least Alan, you have some closure now, right?

[B]

Yeah. Thank you so much, guys. I appreciate it.

[A]

All right. And Alan, I'm gonna put you on hold and Tara will let you go, okay?

[C]

Okay. Bye. Bye.

[A]

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