Vault: Her 13-year-old niece crossed a shocking line

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault - Her 13-Year-Old Niece Crossed a Shocking Line

Date: June 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this memorable and sensitive episode, the Bert Show team tackles an unexpected and controversial listener dilemma: What should a caregiver do when they catch a teenage family member attempting to breastfeed their infant? Amy, the caller, describes discovering her 13-year-old niece trying to breastfeed her 5-month-old son while Amy was briefly out of the room. The conversation explores whether Amy’s reaction was appropriate, whether the niece’s parents should be told, and how to best handle a "shockingly odd" but apparently curiosity-driven situation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Amy’s Account of the Incident

• [00:31] Amy (using a voice disguiser) explains she caught her 13-year-old niece attempting to breastfeed her five-month-old son.

• Amy details her reaction—she was upset and told her niece never to do it again.

• The niece was embarrassed, claimed curiosity, and is now no longer left alone with the baby.

  “I went in the room and turned the water on and I went back out into the family room to grab something and she was attempting to breastfeed my son.” — Amy [01:13]

2. Immediate Reactions from the Hosts

• The Bert Show team is stunned, calling it “one of the most bizarre calls we’ve ever taken” [02:39].

• They express shock but also try to understand the underlying motivations: curiosity or something else?

• Discussion about the normalcy (or lack thereof) of such curiosity at age 13.

  “Who has that thought of putting a child on their boob at that age?” — Cassie [03:33]
  “She’s old enough to know better.” — Abby [03:23]

3. Debate: Tell the Parents or Handle Privately?

• Amy asks if she should tell the niece's parents or let it go, given the embarrassment and potential family friction [02:31].

• Hosts and callers largely agree that an additional, calm conversation with the niece is warranted, but are divided about involving the parents.

• Some express concern over making it a bigger issue than necessary, worrying about shaming the niece [04:44], [08:21].

  “You don’t want to be overly harsh on her, but she’s old enough to know better.” — Kristin [03:23]

4. Listener Callers Weigh In

• Emily: Downplays the incident as typical adolescent curiosity. Advocates not involving the parents unless it happens again [04:20].

• Larry: Suggests hormonal changes at that age can drive strange behavior; acknowledges curiosity but questions the unusualness of it [05:18].

• Sarah (voice disguised): Shares her own similar experience at age 14—also driven solely by curiosity and a one-time occurrence. She recommends Amy talk to her niece but not escalate it further [06:32–08:08].

• Tracy: As a parent of a 13-year-old, stresses the importance of a gentle, rational conversation and only informing parents if other issues arise [08:23].

• Rachel: Emphasizes using the moment as a positive teaching opportunity about breastfeeding and appropriate boundaries, instead of creating shame [09:06].

  “You know, I really… She’s 13. They’re so curious at that age.” — Emily [04:20]
  “I think I was just curious. I really don’t know why… just did that once and that was it.” — Sarah [06:51]
  “You may have scared her to death. Hopefully not forever, but… take the opportunity to say, when you’re able to have a baby, you’re going to be able to do this, but it’s only for mom to do with her child.” — Rachel [09:35]

5. Psychological and Developmental Perspectives

• Several hosts discuss the developmental stage of 13-year-olds—acknowledging curiosity, but pointing out a line should exist due to cognitive maturity [06:02].

• Conversations about mimicking behavior observed in adults (e.g., playing with baby dolls, “feeding” them, etc.) is common at younger ages, but unusual for a teenager.

  “Little girls have baby dolls… they put their baby dolls on their breast like they were imitating mom—but I’m talking about under five years old.” — Kristin [06:02]

6. The Consensus: Rational Dialogue Over Harsh Punishment

• Nearly all parties advise sitting down with the niece for an honest, educational conversation about boundaries and natural curiosity.

• The general recommendation is not to blow the situation out of proportion unless more troubling behavior surfaces.

  “Most are calling saying the same thing… it’s time to have, like, a rational discussion with her before you even consider going to her parents.” — Bert [10:28]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Who has that thought of putting a child on their boob at that age?” — Cassie [03:33]
• “You may have scared her to death. Hopefully not forever, but…” — Rachel [09:35]
• “It was just your initial, knee-jerk reaction.” — Bert [09:58]
• “Because that seems so bizarre to me. I wouldn’t think we would have gotten one call.” — Kristin [08:16]
• “We always say that about this show, too. Once you think that there’s nobody else in your situation, there’s always somebody listening that has gone through the same thing.” — Bert [08:08]

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Important Timestamps

• [00:31] — Amy introduces her shocking dilemma.
• [01:33] — Confirmation of the niece’s age.
• [03:33-03:48] — Hosts react to the weirdness and boundaries of adolescent curiosity.
• [04:20] — Emily calls to share perspective on age-based curiosity.
• [06:32–08:03] — Sarah confesses she did the same as a teen, reducing the stigma.
• [08:23] — Parents and listeners stress communication over punishment.
• [09:06–10:04] — Rachel reframes the event as a chance for positive education.
• [10:26–10:54] — Episode wraps up with advice and closing thoughts.

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Summary & Takeaway

This episode of The Bert Show showcased the power of community in navigating taboo or sensitive family issues. The team and their listeners advised against overreacting to the niece’s impulsive, curiosity-driven act, urging instead a calm and informative approach that turns an awkward moment into a valuable lesson on boundaries and natural biological processes. Throughout, the show maintained its typical blend of humor, honesty, and empathy, proving there’s rarely a dilemma someone else hasn’t faced—and survived.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

Bird show. So producer Tracy sends me this instant message saying, what do you do when you catch someone else breastfeeding your child?

[C]

Freak out.

[A]

And that to us, is a priority call. So Amy is on the voice disguiser. Amy.

[D]

Hi. How are you guys?

[A]

Okay, now you're on the voice disguiser. So nobody can recognize your voice. You. Your child was breastfeeding with another woman and you had zero idea about it.

[D]

Well, right, So I have a five month old son. I mean a five month old son. And I breastfeed him. And over the break, my 13 year old niece wasn't in school and so, you know, she was staying with me a lot of the time just so someone could keep an eye on her. So I told her I needed to jump in the shower and so I went in the room and turned the water on and I went back out into the family room to grab something and she was attempting to breastfeed my son.

[C]

Wait, the 13 year old?

[D]

She's 13?

[E]

Okay.

[D]

I mean, obviously at the time was like, what? Like, you know, was really upset and kind of yelled at her and, and she said she was like just humiliated and was just curious and wanted to know, you know, what it was like and all that. And I told her obviously never do that again and was just furious with her. But my question is, she was so obviously embarrassed and I really like my knee jerk reaction. I just, I didn't freak out, but I was really upset, obviously. So I don't know now if I overreacted and she was just being curious or if I underreacted and I need to tell someone else because at this point, all that's happened is I caught her. Never do that again. And she said she was totally embarrassed and also is no longer left alone with my baby boy.

[A]

Okay, now you said this was your niece, so did you go to her parents?

[D]

I haven't. No, I have not. And that's one of my questions. Do you think I need to. Was she.

[A]

This goes down into the category of one of the most bizarre calls we've ever taken.

[E]

Yeah, it might be did she? Well, I guess my first question is did she know it was wrong when she was doing it?

[D]

She obviously knew. I mean, she obviously, like didn't want me to know and knew that it was something.

[A]

Yeah, she was just curious.

[D]

Yeah. But I don't know if she knows. I don't know what she thinks.

[A]

404 7.

[D]

I don't know why she did it if she really just was curious. I mean, I have no idea. We haven't really spoken about it because it was obviously kind of traumatic for both of us.

[A]

404-741-Q100 well, you said when you approached her original, like she was embarrassed, like she knew she shouldn't be doing. But did she use the words I was just curious on what it feels like?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Wow, that is weird. And she's like young enough that you don't want to be overly harsh on her, but she's old enough to know better.

[C]

Right, right. And who has that thought of putting a child on their boob at that age?

[E]

I would have never done that even now.

[C]

No, I said who? Who has that thought?

[A]

Oh, okay. I thought you said who hasn't had that thought?

[E]

No, who has that. Yeah, just strange. It's so bizarre.

[A]

I am at a lot. I have no idea where to go with this.

[E]

Yeah, that is so strange. I'm just really surprised that she would go that far. And yeah, obviously I asked you if she knew it was wrong, but obviously she did because she waited until you were getting in the shower and she

[A]

said she was just curious. You know, it's like, yeah, I don't know, creepy.

[E]

I would be really freaked out.

[A]

Hey, Emily. Good morning.

[F]

Hi.

[G]

How are you guys?

[A]

There are a few times on the show where I have zero response to something that's been said and I've got nothing.

[F]

You know, I really. She's 13. They're so curious at that age.

[G]

I think it's just not that big of a deal.

[F]

Obviously it's, you know, it's upsetting.

[G]

But she is 13. She doesn't. I mean, maybe she doesn't know any better.

[F]

I don't know.

[G]

But she's, you know, she's 13.

[F]

They're very curious.

[A]

And you say don't tell the parents. Just let it go. Because this is like a one time thing.

[F]

I mean, I think not.

[G]

Because what if that causes a risk

[F]

in your family, you know? Yeah.

[E]

I do think it's worth another conversation with your niece though, to sit down now that it's over and you're not just in a reaction Mode. I think it's worth the conversation to sit down and be like, let's talk about this. Like, find out why she was really doing it. Maybe explain like some more things about breastfeeding. I don't know.

[A]

Here's Larry. Hey, Larry, good morning. I didn't think that we'd get any guys calling for this.

[H]

Yeah, good morning, everybody.

[C]

Good morning.

[H]

I listen to you every morning.

[A]

Thank you, sir.

[H]

I just think she's young, she's 13, you know, her hormones are getting going, so I think she might have thought it would feel good or maybe, you

[C]

know, I mean, I mean, at 13 you're curious about a lot of things, but I don't remember being curious about breastfeeding at all.

[H]

You don't know her background or anything, you know, I mean, you don't know, right? I don't, you know, I don't know.

[A]

Well, I mean, I know that there's like, you know, they say that there's that maternal instinct that most women have, you know, and I see even little girls on a playground when they're around my two year old. Little girls will pick up my two year old, they'll carry him around. They're more protective of them than boys certainly are. They're all roughing each other up and stuff. So I don't know, I'm just talking. I don't really know.

[E]

I mean, little girls have baby dolls that you have or whatever. And I've seen little girls whose mothers had second children and were breastfeeding the second children so they would put their baby dolls on their breast like they were imitating mom and that kind of stuff. But I'm talking about under five years old. I mean, a 13 year old has a cognitive ability to, to know better.

[A]

Good morning. Hold on. Sarah wants to be on the voice disguise. Okay, go ahead, Sarah. You're on the voice disguiser also.

[D]

Hi.

[I]

I was actually 14 and I did that to my sister's baby. And I think I was just curious. Although I was never caught doing it. But I really don't know why or what provoked it, but I mean, I had just done that once and that was it.

[A]

So what I'm just, I want to get in your head here for just one second. Like, was it a. You've seen, you've seen other women do it and you're just curious what it feels like type thing. Like you obviously knew you weren't nourishing the child.

[D]

Right, right.

[I]

I think that's really what it was. I mean, I don't think it has to do with hormones or anything. I think I was just curious about what, what it was like.

[C]

Did you watch somebody growing up do it?

[I]

No, not really. I mean, I watched my sister do it to her child, but she was a lot older than me. My sister was like 13 years older than me.

[E]

So you were just imitating her?

[I]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

And she was gone babysitting. I mean, and you were babysitting?

[I]

I think I was. I actually was 14 when she was born. So I mean, I keep the child a little bit, but I had done it that one time and so if

[A]

you had to give advice to Amy here, would you say go to her parents or. It's a one time thing and it's not a big deal, just let it go.

[I]

I would think it'd be a one time thing. I would probably talk to her one more time, you know, to make, make it clear. But I, I mean, I know it wasn't a big deal for me, although my sister never knew, but I, you know, at 14, I just only did it, tried it that one time.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Well, thanks for calling. I didn't think we'd get any calls like that.

[D]

Thank you.

[E]

I'm kidding.

[I]

Thank you.

[A]

We always say that about this show too. Like once you think that there's nobody else in your situation, there's always somebody listening that has gone through the same thing.

[E]

Because that seems so bizarre to me. I wouldn't think we would have gotten one call.

[A]

Hey Tracy, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[D]

Hi.

[G]

I think it was Jen that said that he should talk to Denise again. And I 100% agree with that because I have a 13 year old kid and they just do some of the most stupid things in the world. I mean, just sit back and I'm like, are you serious? So I think since the emotion's gone, just talk to your niece again and just give her a clear understanding. But I don't think I. And then, and then decide whether or not you're gonna go with, go to the parents with it.

[A]

Thanks for calling. One more call here. So we got Amy on the phone here and she called us up saying that she's got a 13 year old niece that was over at her house. And Amy goes into the shower and when she comes out she catches her 13 year old niece sort of breastfeeding or simulating. Breastfeeding her five month old. Hey, Rachel. Good morning.

[F]

Good morning.

[A]

Hey.

[F]

I think, I think you're hearing a common theme here. It's, you know, imitation and curiosity. And I think Amy, you know, I know your gut reaction was to sort of freak out, but I think you need to take this opportunity to turn it into a positive and tell your niece that, you know, breastfeeding is a natural thing with a mom and a baby, and that, you know, if it had been a bottle, you probably wouldn't have freaked out as much. But she was just seeing what she was, you know, she was just doing what she saw and take the opportunity to say, you know, when you're able to have a baby, you're. You're going to be able to do this, but it's only for mom to do with her child.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Because you haven't been turning it into a negative. You know, I mean, you may have scared her to death. Hopefully not forever, but, you know, and I understand your reaction, but, you know, just think about our society and how we don't do enough to promote breastfeeding

[A]

because you haven't really had a legitimate rational talk with her about it yet. Right. It was just your initial knee jerk reaction.

[D]

Yeah. And I think you're right. And I think whatever happened, I don't think she had any negative intentions, you know, and I think it is good to talk to her and just get everything on the table, because I don't want to. You know, she's really close to me. I watch her all the time, and I don't want to feel like that anything's that negative between us. Yeah, mostly something like this, which is such a beautiful part of life.

[A]

But not when you're 13.

[G]

No.

[A]

And it's not yours exactly. Yeah. Most are calling saying the same thing is you gotta sit her down and it's time to have, like, a rational discussion with her before you even consider going to her parents. Yeah.

[E]

And it might bring you guys closer together.

[I]

Right.

[A]

Not that close.

[E]

Well, not as close as.

[I]

But close.

[E]

I mean, don't, you know, don't snuggle with her.

[A]

Yeah. I wouldn't bring her up to your breast or anything like that. You could have a very close talk with her. All right, Amy, thanks.

[D]

Thank you so much.

[A]

You're on the Burt Show.