The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: Her Boyfriend Has No Idea She Has Kids?!
Date: January 30, 2026
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and callers)
Topic: A woman, Amy, confesses she’s been hiding her children from her boyfriend for 18 months.
Episode Overview
This episode of The Bert Show centers on a deeply personal and controversial listener story. Amy has been in a relationship for 18 months and has yet to reveal to her boyfriend that she has children. Her kids live out of state with their father, and Amy describes how a small omission snowballed into a sustained, life-altering lie. The Bert Show team and its callers react to her situation with a mix of shock, dismay, tough love, and some empathy. Conversation covers societal expectations, the stigmas around single motherhood, and the real human messiness of Amy’s choices.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Amy’s Situation: The Big Lie
- Background (00:00 – 00:41):
- Amy and her boyfriend have been together for 18 months.
- Her kids live with their dad in another state, making it easier to conceal them.
- Amy’s omission began innocently—she didn’t bring it up initially to avoid scaring him off, but then it became impossible to address the truth.
- “At this point, it's more about me getting caught in the lie. I feel awful about it.” – Amy (00:26)
- The relationship is serious: “we’re talking about marriage.” (00:44)
2. Amy’s Attempt to ‘Test the Waters’ (01:46 – 02:48)
- Amy describes her first step: bringing up “kids” as a general topic, talking lovingly about her “niece and nephew,” and showing their pictures (in reality, her children) to gauge her boyfriend’s reaction.
- The boyfriend responds positively: “Oh my God, I love kids, too.” (02:31)
- Amy defends her approach as a “baby step”—her goal was to see whether he liked kids before telling the full truth.
3. Hosts and Callers Respond: Outrage and Ethical Debate
- Host and Caller Reactions (02:46 – 05:00):
- Callers and hosts express anger and disbelief, arguing Amy’s actions are offensive to mothers and unfair to her children and her boyfriend.
- “You are a mother, and these are your children, and you are kind of hee hawing around it for this guy. And it really offends me... you are going to show pictures of your own children to this guy as your niece and nephew... I just think that's so offensive.” – Caller 1 (02:48)
- “This is so cowardly what you're doing. It really is.” – Host (03:54)
- Several callers emphasize, “I tell people on the first date. I’m not ashamed.” (05:26)
- Some push back with skepticism or devil’s advocate looks, suggesting if the boyfriend had hated kids, at least Amy would know before revealing her secret. Most agree, however, that this plan is “double stacking the lie” (08:35).
4. Single Mom Perspective (05:11 – 06:00)
- An impassioned call from Alicia, a single mother, draws a sharp line:
- “I am a single mother, and I have never in my life. She is such a disgrace to all mothers.” – Alicia (05:12)
- She advocates for full disclosure immediately: “You don't got time for the games anymore.”
5. Judgment About Parenting and Custody (06:01 – 06:26)
- Some caller criticisms turn harsh, suggesting Amy’s loss of custody reflects on her moral character.
- “It takes a pretty bad mother to lose her kids to the dad side of it, because the dads never get the kids…. Come on, you gotta be kidding me.” – Caller 5 (06:01)
6. Is There Any Nuance? (06:31 – 08:44)
- A few panelists and callers try to empathize, exploring whether Amy’s “incremental” approach provides a way to ease into the truth without risking everything at once.
- Ultimately, most agree her “blueprint” is flawed and “a little misguided.”
7. Amy’s Response and Her Plan (08:57 – 10:18)
- Facing the hostility, Amy repeatedly apologizes and admits she never intended for her lie to spiral:
- “I didn't mean for it to get out of control. I really didn't. But it did. And, you know, I'm sorry that it did, but I'm trying to fix it.” – Amy (09:56)
- She reiterates her intention to “come clean... in little increments,” but the show hosts are broadly skeptical:
- “You’re only making it worse. You’re only making it worse.” – Host (10:06)
- Amy agrees to call back with an update.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “It just snowballs and snowballs and snowballs, and you just don't know when to put the brakes on it.” – Host (01:31)
- “I just wanted to break it in slowly...I mean, he's such a good guy. My kids deserve to have him in their life.” – Amy (03:26)
- “This is so cowardly what you're doing. It really is.” – Host (03:54)
- “If I was your son or daughter, I'd be so hurt.” – Caller 1 (03:57)
- “I get it, Amy. Baby steps. Baby steps.” – Host and Callers (09:38)
- “I would be thinking the same thing if I was listening to someone say this kind of stuff...I didn't mean for it to get out of control.” – Amy (09:56)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:00 – 00:41: Amy sets up her story & how the secret started
- 01:46 – 02:48: Amy’s step to “test the waters,” using her children as her “niece and nephew”
- 02:48 – 03:54: Hosts and callers express outrage, challenge Amy
- 05:11 – 06:00: Alicia’s perspective as a single mother, calls Amy a disgrace
- 06:01 – 06:26: Another caller harshly judges Amy as a mother for losing custody
- 08:57 – 09:38: Amy discusses her next step; panel debates the “baby steps” approach
- 09:56 – 10:18: Amy’s apology, hosts’ skepticism, plan for a future update
Tone and Style
The episode is forthright, sometimes harsh, and unflinchingly judgmental. The Bert Show and its callers don’t sugarcoat their views—many come at Amy with strong moral outrage, tough love, and a bit of humor. Despite the pressure, Amy is open about her regret and ongoing struggle to resolve her predicament, contributing to the show’s trademark authenticity.
Summary prepared for listeners who want to follow the key moments and moral debates of this episode without missing the emotional nuances and dramatic confrontations.