The Bert Show – Vault: Her Boyfriend Refuses To Shave Until She Loses Weight!

Date: February 10, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode dives into a unique relationship challenge: Crystal, a listener, shares that her boyfriend Jason refuses to shave until she loses 50 pounds. The Bert Show crew—alongside fitness expert Dolvett—explores the emotional, practical, and motivational complexities of weight loss, personal responsibility, and the pressures (and humor) that come from creative “motivational” tactics.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Background and Relationship Dynamics

• Crystal’s Struggles:
  • Crystal has spent nearly two years dissatisfied with her weight, frequently expressing her frustration to Jason.
  • Despite joining diet programs and gyms, she admits she has not sustained motivation nor seen significant progress.
• Jason’s ‘No-Shave’ Challenge:
  • Jason suggests growing his beard (which Crystal hates) as a motivational tool until she loses 50 pounds.
  • He explains, “when somebody continuously tells you all the time they're not happy with themselves... [this] is the only way I can help her out by trying to motivate her like that.” (Jason, 02:29)

Motivation, Excuses, and Accountability

• Crystal’s Admitted Excuses:
  • She acknowledges making excuses (“It's just hard because... I don't really know how,” 05:53), feeling overwhelmed by gym equipment and high trainer costs.
  • Dolvett and Jen challenge Crystal to prioritize action over excuses:
    • “You just... exercise. You go outside and walk around the block.” (Dolvett, 05:08)
    • “It sounds like a long list of excuses for not working out.” (Guest/Co-host, 04:53)
• Responsibility:
  • The crew stresses that nobody else can motivate you but yourself:
    • “Nobody else can motivate you but you.” (Guest/Co-host, 14:27)
    • “All it's going to take is you... changing your mind about it.” (Guest/Co-host, 14:30)

Barriers and Advice

• Practical Barriers:
  • Crystal is intimidated by the gym and confused by conflicting diet advice.
  • She seeks faster results and questions the effectiveness of simpler routines (like walking).
• Coaching from Hosts:
  • The team highlights alternatives:
    • “If you hate the gym or you're intimidated by it, go somewhere else... do stuff at home or attend an aerobics class.” (Guest/Co-host, 05:34)
  • A straightforward approach is championed:
    • “If you cut down on the bread and cut out the desserts and walk and drink a lot of water... you’ll start losing weight.” (Dolvett, 09:31)
  • They emphasize the need for sustainable lifestyle changes over quick fixes.

Food, Cravings, and Willpower

• Crystal’s Weaknesses:
  • She admits to “a weakness” for bread and desserts, and often eats out of craving and fatigue:
    • “I crave them... I'll get home, and I'm starving... and I want to cook something, but I'm so tired.” (Crystal, 10:48)
• Host Experiences:
  • The hosts share relatable anecdotes about food temptation:
    • “Somebody brought McDonald's in... the hash brown won. The cravings never go away, and... you have to be disciplined, and you have zero discipline.” (Bert, 11:03)
    • Dolvett confesses, “I shopped at Pamela’s Chocolates... any weight I may gain from that is my fault.” (Dolvett, 12:02)

Tips, Tools, and Outside Support

• Expert and Listener Input:
  • A caller, Corey, promotes a fitness platform (MyBodyBeats.com) offering downloadable pro-athlete workouts, reinforcing that “if you want the information, it’s out there.” (Corey, 13:54)
• Internet as a Resource:
  • “There's a little place called the Internet that is pretty good at educating you... if you really wanted to find out, you could.” (Bert, 08:21)

Motivation by Humiliation: The ‘Photo’ Bet

• A Drastic Accountability Proposal:
  • The crew proposes “motivation by humiliation,” where Crystal would take a bikini photo that gets posted online if she doesn’t meet her weight goal by her 10-year reunion.
    • “You would come in here... they would take a picture... if you don't reach your goal weight... that picture goes up.” (Bert, 15:27)
  • Encouragement is mixed with humor:
    • “And your boyfriend gets to shave so people won't confuse him with Jesus anymore.” (Jen, 15:49)
• Crystal’s Reaction:
  • Crystal is hesitant but acknowledges the power of public accountability.
• Previous Success:
  • The hosts share their own “motivation by humiliation” experiences, affirming its effectiveness:
    • “That public accountability changed everything. I was watching what I was eating... working out every day.” (Bert, 17:58)

Final Words and Tone

• Tough Love:
  • The hosts balance empathy and candor:
    • “You haven't said one thing over the last 15 minutes to make any of us think that you really want to lose this weight.” (Bert, 18:35)
    • “Once you decide that, yeah, you know what, I do really want to do this, then you will.” (Dolvett, 18:39)
• Crystal's Closing Affirmation:
  • Crystal finally insists, “I really, really do [want to].” (Crystal, 18:35)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Motivation:
  • “If you cut down on the bread and cut out the desserts and walk and drink a lot of water... you’ll start losing weight.” – Dolvett (09:31)
  • “Nobody else can motivate you but you.” – Co-host (14:27)
• On Excuses vs. Action:
  • “It sounds like a long list of excuses for not working out.” – Co-host (04:53)
  • “If you hate the gym... go somewhere else... Just be active.” – Co-host (05:34)
• On Public Accountability:
  • “That public accountability changed everything. I was watching what I was eating... working out every day.” – Bert (17:58)
• Comic Relief:
  • “Hello, I am lord of the deep, and this is my fat.” – Jen (07:43)
  • “And your boyfriend gets to shave so people won't confuse him with Jesus anymore.” – Jen (15:49)
• Candid Reflection:
  • “Any calories I took in or any weight I may gain from that is my fault.” – Dolvett (12:02)
  • “You haven't said one thing over the last 15 minutes to make any of us think that you really want to lose this weight.” – Bert (18:35)

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:19] The ‘no shave until you lose weight’ challenge explained
• [03:17] Crystal’s motivation struggles and gym intimidation
• [04:53] Excuse-making and overcoming barriers
• [05:34] Alternative approaches to exercise
• [09:31] Dolvett’s simple weight loss formula
• [13:54] MyBodyBeats.com and finding resources
• [15:27] The ‘motivation by humiliation’ proposal
• [17:58] Host testimonies on public accountability
• [18:35] Final tough love and Crystal’s insistence

Tone and Style

The conversation is candid, humorous, and at times direct, blending tough love with empathy and plenty of laughter. The Bert Show crew refuses to sugarcoat the realities of weight loss while keeping the mood light and supportive, encouraging Crystal—and listeners—to take responsibility and find their own intrinsic motivation.

This episode provides a realistic (and amusing) look at the hurdles of weight loss, the limits of external motivation, and the sometimes harsh, always honest path to personal change.