Vault: Her Dad's Girlfriend Wants To Crash Her Wedding Photos?!

Summary

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Episode Overview

Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show centers on a listener’s wedding-day drama: Julie is caught in a tense situation with her father’s girlfriend, who wants to appear prominently in her wedding photos. The cast helps Julie navigate boundaries, family expectations, and her concerns that her father's girlfriend may not be a good influence or fit—particularly after learning more about the girlfriend’s past. The episode weaves advice, gentle ribbing, and real talk about family relationships and letting go.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recap and Resolution: The Wedding Photo Dilemma

• Julie’s Follow-Up: Julie calls back with updates after her initial drama about the photographs.
• Resolution: Julie spoke directly with her dad’s girlfriend, negotiating that the girlfriend would stay out of most photos in exchange for Julie not revealing her concerns about her to her father.
• Understanding: Julie’s dad’s girlfriend accepted this, understanding Julie’s perspective. The cast reflects on whether the “ultimatum” was necessary (04:04).

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2. Julie’s Concerns About Her Father’s Girlfriend

• Julie reveals that her father’s girlfriend has been married three times, all after the age of 50 (01:23).
• The cast and Julie suggest she’s concerned the girlfriend is a “gold digger” (02:11), especially after seeing her dad acting out of character at the wedding:
  • “He’d never been a drinker, and I saw my dad drink a lot and he was with her the whole time, holding hands and being kind of tipsy.” — Julie (04:40)

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3. Cast’s Reactions and Cautions Against Creating Extra Drama

• Host and Cast Voices Criticism: The hosts question if Julie is unnecessarily escalating the situation, noting that she may be attaching too much blame to the girlfriend and taking too much responsibility for her father’s choices:
  • “There was no need for the ultimatum… Why even throw in the ultimatum thing, which is obviously going to put her on the defensive…?” — Host (04:04)
  • “You got tunnel vision… Everything’s going to end up being this girlfriend’s fault, when it may not be the girlfriend’s fault that he decided he wanted to loosen up.” — Caller 2 (06:37)
• Letting Go: The hosts encourage Julie to consider letting some issues go and trust adults to manage their own relationships and actions.

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4. The Pressure to “Fix” Family Situations

• Theme of Control: Julie is gently challenged for feeling the need to “fix” her father’s relationship and shield him from consequences.
  • “Why it’s your responsibility?” — Caller 2 (07:12)
• Bride’s Perspective: Julie admits she’s struggling to balance her happiness over getting married with concerns about her dad’s situation.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Negotiating with the Girlfriend:
  • “I made an agreement with her that at the wedding, maybe she could try to make herself not available for most of the pictures. In exchange, I wouldn’t tell my dad, and I’d give her a chance to tell my dad about her past.” — Julie (03:11)
• On Letting Things Go:
  • “So you got what you wanted, things were fine at the wedding, but now your dad, you saw him drinking… so now it’s the issue. So when you get back from the honeymoon, now this is lingering and you’re gonna have to create more of a crisis by talking to him about his drinking. Right? Rather than just letting it go.” — Host (05:33)
• On Being a “Fixer”:
  • “I think you got tunnel vision when it comes to everything that’s going on… Why it’s your responsibility?” — Caller 2 (06:37)
• The Big Picture:
  • “The bottom line is she wasn’t in the pictures. That’s what you originally called us about. So you got what you wanted there. The truth is going to come out here eventually, over the next couple of weeks.” — Host (07:29)
• Wedding Vibes:
  • “I’m married.” — Julie (02:50, again at 07:45)
  • “Congratulations.” — Cast (02:53, 07:46)
  • “The stark reality of forever is beaming down on you. Light from a magnifying glass just burning. You realizing that for the rest of your life, every single day, you’re gonna look at that same man.” — Caller 1, playfully (07:52)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:10] – Julie describes how she negotiated the photo arrangement
• [02:11] – Underlying worries: “Is she a gold digger?” and learning about the girlfriend’s past
• [03:11] – The agreement and the “ultimatum” between Julie and her father’s girlfriend
• [04:40] – Julie’s observations about her dad’s out-of-character behavior at the wedding
• [06:09] – Cast pushes back on Julie’s “fixer” attitude and warns about creating drama
• [07:29] – Resolution, lessons, and closing congratulations

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode maintains The Bert Show’s hallmark blend of humor, real talk, and genuine empathy. The hosts gently rib Julie for her dramatic tendencies but ultimately give her space to share and process the experience. They emphasize setting boundaries without unnecessary ultimatums, trusting adults to manage their own relationships, and the importance of letting go of what you can’t control—especially when you’re the bride!

For listeners facing similar family dynamics: You’ll find a candid, sometimes comedic look at how to handle tricky wedding-day politics with perspective and heart.

Transcript

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[Host]

Hey, the bird show. Hi, Julie from last week. It seemed like it was gonna be pretty cut and dry on Thursday. Did you guys ever get to the conversation about her and the pictures?

[Julie]

Yeah, we did. We addressed it and she was very cool about it. She was understanding that I wanted her in some pictures and not some others. It turns out that she's been married three times before. All of them were over 50.

[Caller 1]

So wait a minute. So you called and told her you didn't want her in the pictures and then you found out that she's married three times?

[Julie]

Yes.

[Caller 2]

One thing at a time. Get through this weekend. Like you at least what you wanted to accomplish was accomplished and so you were going to have pictures with your family and then you'll incorporate her in some of the pictures. She was understanding she's going to be cool to you on Saturday because you know she's supporting your marriage and then let this kind of take care of itself.

[Caller 3]

And she did tell you she's gonna talk to him about it, and she wants to talk to him about it first, so you should give her the option to do that.

[Host]

All right, so the debate really turned from, or the focus of this turned from having the father take the wedding photos with the new girlfriend to do I talk to my dad about this woman that she's seeing who I really don't think is a very good match for him?

[Caller 3]

Well, I mean, she thinks that the girlfriend's a gold digger.

[Host]

Right.

[Caller 3]

And she ticked off Melissa. Remember you were getting really upset with her.

[Caller 2]

Well, I just.

[Caller 3]

Without wanting to say anything before the wedding.

[Caller 2]

Well, I was just. Impatience, because, I mean, it's like she's making. She's. She's not listening to what our suggestions were, and she just wanted to make drama out of it, and she could not get her mind off of it. And that's why, I'm afraid, that she did talk to her dad. Because it's one of those things that if you. If you constantly obsess about an issue you want to fix and you got to fix it immediately, then you're going to end up doing something, and you probably do more damage than if you just waited it out.

[Host]

Hey, Julie, you're back on the voice disguiser.

[Julie]

Hi. How are you?

[Host]

Okay. How are you?

[Julie]

I'm doing. I'm doing pretty well. I'm married.

[Caller 2]

Well, congratulations.

[Host]

That's the most important thing.

[Caller 1]

Cops have to come to your wedding or anything.

[Julie]

I'm sorry?

[Caller 1]

Cops have to come to your wedding, Break up a fight or anything, Throw someone out.

[Julie]

No.

[Host]

You don't sound like a woman that just got married a couple of days beforehand.

[Julie]

No, I did. It was great. Everything went really well. I ended up calling Sarah the night before the rehearsal dinner, and I had a little chat with her. I said, basically, you know, after what you told me the other day, I'm not very comfortable with that. But I made an agreement with her that at the wedding, maybe she could try to make herself not available for most of the pictures. In exchange, I wouldn't tell my dad, and I'd give her a chance to tell my dad about her past.

[Host]

See, now, let's wait. Stop, stop, stop, stop. There was no need for the ultimatum. She already told you beforehand that she understood the picture thing, so you were good to go. So why even throw in the ultimatum thing, which is obviously going to put her on the defensive, just reinforcing it.

[Caller 2]

And sure, it's an awful idea. The problem is. What? Well, we'll listen to the rest, but the problem with that is if her father ends up not having a problem with this woman's past and they do end up together, your relationship with her will never be good. But anyway, go ahead.

[Julie]

Well, it ended up being fine. She made herself not available for most of the pictures, and. And, you know, I've asked her to come clean with my father while I'm on my honeymoon. The only thing that was bothersome to me at the wedding was that my dad never really. He'd never been a drinker, and I saw my dad drink a lot and he was with her the whole time, holding hands and being kind of tipsy. And that was the only thing that really stood out in my mind as being awkward and different.

[Caller 2]

And that's her. You think it's her fault that he was drinking?

[Julie]

Yeah, I think she's.

[Host]

He's just trying to keep up with her.

[Caller 1]

She's bad news.

[Host]

She's much younger than he is. You told us. So he's just trying to keep up with her.

[Julie]

Yeah, that's what it seemed like to me. But she wasn't in any pictures, so that was fine.

[Host]

So did you let that go? Did you say anything to him or did you say anything to her about the alcohol?

[Julie]

No, I didn't.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caller 3]

Does your now husband know that all this was going on?

[Julie]

Yeah, well, I mean, he knew about my frustration with the pictures. I haven't mentioned anything to him about the alcohol.

[Caller 1]

Well, you can't say anything to him about the alcohol, can you? Well, and he is an adult.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Host]

And see, like this is just. Here, here is. This is starting to drive me crazy because I can just. You know how there are just some people that just love drama and they love a crisis. So now everything went just the way you wanted it to it. Even though you threw out the ultimatum and it really could have turned around on you. You got what you wanted, so things were fine at the wedding, but now you're dead. You saw him drinking a little bit more than he usually does, so now it's the issue. So when you get back from the honeymoon. Now this is lingering and you're gonna have to create more of a crisis by talking to him about his drinking. Right. Rather than just letting it go.

[Caller 1]

Well, did you give him the ultimatum, like over the honeymoon, that she has to come clean with your dad or you're going to?

[Julie]

Well, she was up to her half of the agreement, which was that she would not be in any of the pictures. And so I'm expecting her to come clean over the honeymoon with my father.

[Caller 1]

But you haven't told her that she has to or have you?

[Julie]

I haven't told her that I am expecting her to come through with her side of the bargain.

[Caller 2]

This is addressing the drinking really quickly, like you're blaming her for it, but then you don't think of in the big scheme. Has your father been in this position before where he has to face his ex wife at his daughter's wedding in an awkward position with a new girlfriend? And so, I mean, I think that you're just kind of. I think you got tunnel vision when it comes to everything that's going on, and everything's going to end up being this girlfriend's fault, when it may not be the girlfriend's fault that he decided he wanted to loosen up a little bit, maybe had a little more than he expected. The girlfriend could have been there to take care of him, you know? So I just think that. I don't. I don't know. I don't understand why it. You have to be the fixer of all these things. Why? It's. Why it's your responsibility.

[Julie]

Right?

[Caller 3]

Is your mom remarried already? Okay, I thought that. I thought that was the case.

[Host]

All right, so the bottom line here is I don't. I don't know. There's a lot more to cover here. The bottom line is she wasn't in the pictures. That's what you originally called us about. So you got what you wanted there. The truth is going to come out here eventually, over the next couple of weeks. Either she's going to tell him or you're going to say something, and that's where it's at. And you got married.

[Julie]

I got married.

[Caller 2]

All right. Well, congratulations.

[Host]

Why don't you sound happier than you are right now?

[Julie]

I'm very happy.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

The stark reality of forever is beaming down on you. Light from a magnifying glass just burning. You realizing that for the rest of your life, every single day, you're gonna look at that same man.

[Host]

Hey, the bird show.