Vault: Her Ex Wants The Ring Back To Give To His New Girlfriend

Summary

The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)
Episode: Vault: Her Ex Wants The Ring Back To Give To His New Girlfriend
Date: January 21, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into a real-life dilemma brought to the show by listener Michelle, whose ex-husband has requested the return of her wedding ring—intending to gift it to his new girlfriend as an engagement ring. The Bert Show team, including Burt, Jen, Donna, and others, unpack the emotional, ethical, and practical aspects of the situation, trading candid advice, personal stories, and plenty of humor along the way. Listeners call in to share their opinions and experiences, making for a lively and relatable discussion about boundaries, divorce, and the meaning we assign to sentimental objects.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Michelle’s Story: The Ex and the Ring (00:05 – 02:29)

• Background: Michelle calls in, explaining she was married for seven years before separating from her husband. After their divorce, her ex found a younger girlfriend shortly thereafter.
• Her ex recently requested Michelle’s wedding ring, wanting to give it to his new girlfriend as an engagement present because he can’t afford a new ring.
  • Michelle: “I said, you can’t give her a wedding ring as an engagement ring because both bands are welded together... He says, ‘Well, she doesn’t have to know.’”
• The hosts are incredulous, finding the ex’s request both tactless and awkward.
  • Host comment: “Unbelievable.” (02:14)

2. The Child Support Complication (04:01 – 05:00)

• Michelle owes her ex $1,300 due to an overpayment of child support after their divorce. He proposes forgiving this debt if she gives him the ring.
  • Burt: “Is he holding that thirteen hundred dollars saying, look, if you give me the ring or you give me the diamond, then we’ll clear the record?” (05:00)
  • Michelle: “Yes. He says... if you give me the wedding ring, I’ll say we’re even, we’re square, you don’t owe me a dime.” (05:07)

3. Emotional & Sentimental Value of the Ring (05:07 – 07:14)

• Michelle explains she wants to keep the ring for her children, to pass it down as a family heirloom.
  • Michelle: “I wanted to keep it for my children because I kept all my wedding pictures, my wedding album, for my kids... I wanted to keep this for my children.” (05:51)
• The hosts reflect on whether the ring should retain sentimental value after a failed marriage.
  • Donna (playfully): “There are bad germs in there.” (08:41)
  • Jen: “You do want to know that you came from something that at one time was special.” (08:47)

4. Listeners Weigh In: Keep or Give Up the Ring? (08:53 – 11:35)

• Callers share their perspectives—some think Michelle should keep the ring for her daughters, others advocate for taking the deal, given the ring’s modest value ($200).
  • Kim: “That ring needs to go to your daughters when they get married.” (08:18)
  • Donna: “Why do you want to pass down something to your daughter that symbolizes a marriage that didn’t work out?” (08:19)
• Value revelation:
  • Burt: “What’s the value of the ring?” (09:02)
  • Michelle: “Probably about $200.” (09:04)

5. Debating Alternatives and Legal Angle (09:38 – 14:37)

• Suggestions include giving him just the diamond, replacing it with a dummy stone, or at minimum, ensuring Michelle receives the agreement in writing.
  • Chad: “She could go spend a few hundred bucks on a center stone, give it to him, tell him she had to take him out of her set and keep the ring.” (12:11)
  • Michelle (joking): “I was actually thinking about going to Ball Machine and getting one out of there.” (12:25)
• Some are baffled that the ex is insistent about recovering overpaid child support, given it was for his kids.
  • Host: “It’s $1,300 that he’s given her for his children... that you owe that back to him strikes me as a little weird.” (12:32 – 12:48)
• Lorena, another caller, highlights that overpayments for child support could be seen as gifts—so Michelle might not legally owe the money.
  • Lorena: “If he made you a payment and he didn’t keep track of it... that’s a gift, and he can’t legally take it from you.” (14:44)

6. Final Advice and Michelle’s Decision (15:28 – 17:02)

• The consensus from hosts and many callers: do not give up the ring unless everything is in writing and all payments are settled beforehand.
  • Jen: “Don’t cave in and be, oh, this is—I’ve married seven years, he’s my friend, blah blah blah... whatever agreement you have in writing. But yeah, take the stone. You know, keep the ring. Give him the stone.” (16:13)
  • Burt: “Go out and buy yourself another stone. Give it to him. He’ll never know the difference.” (16:29)
• Michelle is pressured by the time constraints (the ex has the kids over the weekend) but agrees to keep the hosts posted on her decision.
  • Burt: “When are you going to make this decision?” (16:36)
  • Michelle: “Well, he’s got them this coming weekend, so I need to make a phone call here in the next couple of days.” (16:43)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Michelle on the awkwardness:
  “And here I am giving him advice that’s kind of crappy to give your girlfriend, your ex-wife ring.” (02:29)
• Michelle’s resolve:
  “I am willing to give it up if it means getting rid of a debt owed to him.” (06:54)
• Burt's incredulity:
  “From his end, it’s ridiculous to me. And from the girlfriend’s end, if she ever finds out that diamond came from your ring, she’s going to be livid.” (06:26)
• Jen’s practical counsel:
  “Whatever you do, Michelle, don’t cave... Whatever agreement you have in writing.” (16:13)
• Michelle’s self-aware humor:
  “I was actually thinking about going to Ball Machine and getting one out of there.” (12:25)
• On child support repayments:
  “It’s $1,300 that he’s given her for his children... The fact that you owe that back to him strikes me as a little weird.” (12:47)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:05 – Michelle begins recounting the situation.
• 02:14 – Michelle reveals her ex wants the ring for his new girlfriend.
• 04:01 – Child support and debt negotiation explained.
• 05:51 – Michelle expresses why she wants to keep the ring.
• 08:18 – Listeners call in with family heirloom perspectives.
• 09:04 – Actual value of the ring discussed.
• 12:11 – Chad suggests giving a replacement stone.
• 14:44 – Lorena presents a legal perspective.
• 16:13 – Final round of host advice to Michelle.
• 16:43 – Michelle outlines her timeline for a decision.

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Tone & Language

The episode is candid, supportive, and peppered with the Bert Show’s trademark humor and real-talk. Hosts and callers strike a balance between empathy for Michelle’s situation and incredulity at her ex’s behavior. The discussion is lively, honest, and at times playful, making a complicated personal issue accessible and engaging.

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Summary

This episode is a testament to The Bert Show’s approach—using humor and honesty to explore challenging life situations. Michelle’s story opens a window into the messy intersections of divorce, money, and sentiment, with the show offering both sympathy and sharp advice. Listeners left with memorable one-liners, legal tidbits, and a strong sense of communal support—along with anticipation for Michelle’s eventual decision.

Transcript

[Host 1]

Get it?

[Burt]

The Birch show. In the meantime, let's get Michelle on. Good morning, Michelle.

[Michelle]

Good morning, Burt show.

[Burt]

How are you today?

[Michelle]

I'm good. How are you?

[Burt]

Good. When producer Tracy told us that you emailed her last week, we're like, okay, this cannot be real. No guy can be this clueless. Right?

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Why don't you detail for everybody the history. What's going on now, his request, why he's got you in a corner.

[Michelle]

Okay. A little bit of history. We were, of course, obviously married. We were married for about seven years and things just didn't work out between us. We and I separated and I. And I left him and so I went to get the divorce, everything. Well, about two months later, you know, when, since we've been separated, he goes and finds himself a girlfriend, which is, you know, it. It threw me off. And I thought, okay, well, I don't want to get back with a guy. Well, to. Not to top it off, she was pregnant with somebody else's child. So that made me feel really good. And she was like 20, so made me feel really good and confident.

[Burt]

So how old is. How old is your ex husband?

[Michelle]

He is 31.

[Burt]

All right.

[Donna]

And classy girl.

[Michelle]

Yes, Very nice, sweet high school girl. So. Which is fine. So. And then they, you know, separate. Finally I get him to sign the divorce papers and we've been divor for about a year. And he just started dating a new girl a couple months ago. And I've met her once, she seems really nice, really young, and she looked at my kids because we both have two children together. And he give. He gave me a call last week and said, asked if I still had my wedding ring. I said, yes, I do. He says, well, I was wondering if I could have it. I said, okay, what for? He said, oh, well, you know, I'd like to have it. And having a conversation with him is like pulling teeth. I said, okay, what for? Well, for decoration. For who? Well, I want to give it to my girlfriend.

[Host 1]

Unbelievable.

[Michelle]

I said, why? Well, you know, we love each other and we want to get married, and I just don't have the money to go out and get a wedding ring right now. And I want to give it to her for Christmas.

[Donna]

Wow.

[Michelle]

I said, well, that's kind of crappy to give. And here I am giving him advice that's kind of crappy to give your girlfriend, your ex wife ring. I said, well, I said, you can't give her a wedding ring as an engagement ring because both of the bands are welded together. I said, you can't do that. He's oh well, I'll get that unwelded. I said, well, but you can't do that. He says, well, she doesn't have to know. And I said, well, your kids will bust you because your kids know what it looks like. Oh no they won't, Michelle.

[Jen]

I'm just surprised you even had that much of a discussion with him. Like, no.

[Michelle]

Yeah, a lot of times I find myself giving him advice on how to treat his girlfriend.

[Jen]

Yeah, well that's, I mean, that's your decision to do that. I just, I really. Are you seriously considering giving him that ring?

[Michelle]

I said, you know, I don't know, I've got to think about it. I said, I've got a meeting I got to go into, which I did. And I said, you know, I'll give you a call later. Give me, I'll give you a couple of days. Well, he calls me back and leaves me a message and says, oh, you must think I'm some kind of moron. I just want the diamond and I'll go and reset it myself. But yes, conversation that we had earlier, he was telling me he didn't have a diamond, he needed the whole entire ring. But now he's telling me he has got, he's got extra money to go get it reset.

[Burt]

Is there a reason why you just did not say, no, this is ridiculous, move on?

[Michelle]

Yes, there is a reason why like I said, when we first got divorced, it was about nine month period before I was able to get him to sign the divorce paperwork. And at that time he was a certain amount of money arrearage and child support because I had to beg him to pay child support. Well, they said, okay, we can get child support and the extra amount taken out of his check automatically and when that amount is paid off, it'll stop? Well, it didn't stop. It just kept going and going. And of course he was making phone calls to me every month saying, you owe me this, you owe me this, you owe me this, you need to get this money back to me. And honestly I wasn't in a hurry to get it back to him because I just didn't feel like I needed to do him any favors. So he finally got an attorney and got an attorney to get that stopped. Now I owe him money from the overpayment that he was paying me.

[Burt]

How much do you owe?

[Michelle]

About thirteen hundred dollars.

[Burt]

And is he holding that thirteen hundred dollars saying, look, if you give me the ring or you give me the diamond, then we'll clear the record?

[Michelle]

Yes. He says. I tell you what he says, this is my proposal. If you give me the wedding ring, I'll say we're even, we're square, you don't owe me a dime, and I'll even go as far as to give you back the money you've already paid me, which is about 150 bucks, I'm thinking. And I said, now, at first, I was trying to talk him out of it because I thought, you know, I. I wanted to keep the ring just for sentimental reasons, just for my children. I didn't want to keep it because, you know, I love him and all that kind of stuff. No, I wanted to keep it for my children because I kept all my wedding pictures, my wedding album, for my kids, so my kids can see this, because my parents didn't do that. My parents got a divorce. My mom went to the house and just started burning stuff and throwing stuff away. Yeah, I wanted to keep this for my children. I mean, granted, they're only four and five. I don't. They don't plan on getting married next month, but I wanted to keep that for them.

[Host 1]

I can understand that.

[Burt]

404. 741. 1,005.

[Jen]

So you're gonna get this agreement in writing.

[Michelle]

I've discussed this with quite a few girlfriends, and they all, of course, immediately started laughing. And then they said, well, yeah, I would get the. Get it in writing. And if you do decide to give him the ring, get all your money up front before you give him anything.

[Burt]

Now, for you personally in that ring, I mean, is it a symbol to you of, like, where you were in your life at one point? Is it something that if you give away, like, it really wouldn't matter to you? I mean, just. Just from your end. Because from his end, it's ridiculous to me. And from the girlfriend's end, if she ever finds out that diamond came from your ring, she's gonna be livid. But I'm just wondering, just to get this guy off of your back, get out of the debt. Does the ring mean that much to you?

[Michelle]

Honestly, it was my. That was my first wedding, first marriage. It was my second engagement ring that I've ever received in my entire life. I loved it. It was beautiful. But I am willing to give it up if it means getting rid of a debt owed to him.

[Host 1]

Can he make sure that that is put in writing for you? Because you don't want to. He can't.

[Michelle]

I. I would probably have to take care of that, because I know he would not think that far Ahead to get it in writing.

[Host 1]

Okay.

[Jen]

Because I like. I like the idea of getting in writing. Because you have proof that it happened.

[Burt]

Yeah. He doesn't sound like he's such a great soldier here that anything can happen.

[Michelle]

He would be. He would be that type of person. You know, next year I'll be getting a phone call saying, hey, what about all that money you owe me?

[Jen]

Well, no, and also the fact that of this ridiculous exchange that actually took place, that is documented, that he asked that of you and. And that you gave it to him so that his future wife will find out someday.

[Host 1]

Oh, that's true, too. Yeah.

[Michelle]

That'll probably be another phone call to you guys next year.

[Burt]

We'll be waiting. Good morning, Kim. You're on the Bird show. All the hits. Q100.

[Michelle]

Hey, guys, I just want to know, do you have a daughter? Does she have a daughter or sons or. I have daughters. Okay. That ring needs to go to your daughters when they get married. I have two sets of my mother's wedding rings. My mother passed away, but that's what I have to remember her by.

[Donna]

You know?

[Michelle]

Why?

[Donna]

Why do you want to pass down something to your daughter that symbolizes a marriage that didn't work out?

[Michelle]

Well, I mean, I have wedding rings from my mother from when she divorced my father when I was 18 months old. But that's a part of my mother. It's a part of her.

[Jen]

And regardless, those are your parents, whether they work out or not.

[Michelle]

Exactly. It was my mom, and she was married to my dad. And even though they divorced when I.

[Lorena]

Was 18 months old, that's the only.

[Michelle]

Thing I have of when they were together.

[Donna]

I believe too much in karma. There's bad germs in there.

[Burt]

You think there's bad relations, relationship contagious.

[Jen]

I understand. Because that will be very meaningful to the children. Because you do want to know that you came from something that at one time was special.

[Burt]

Hey, Donna. Good morning.

[Michelle]

Good morning. This may sound kind of crass, but I'm kind of curious. What's the value of the ring? Probably about $200.

[Burt]

$200.

[Michelle]

$200. Okay. I had a total different feedback for you, but if the ring is worth about $200, I would go ahead, get it in writing, give him the ring, and then about three months from now, make sure she knows that that came from you.

[Host 1]

Maybe she'll give it back, and then you get the debt paid off and the ring back.

[Jen]

Right.

[Michelle]

Well, you know, I think if your children want the ring, I do agree with Kim, that if the Children want the ring. You shouldn't give it to him. But if he's willing to sign off $1,300 and give you the money back, you've already paid him for a $200 ring. Give it back, the ring, and get it in writing.

[Host 1]

Or maybe, like what he said, how he just wanted the diamond. Maybe you keep the ring for the symbolic nature of it, and maybe you replace the diamond because there.

[Michelle]

There was the actual engagement ring, and then in the van was like, little tiny baguettes. Well, I don't know if he's wanting to take out because his. His story is changing. So I don't know if he wants to take out just that one diamond or take out the whole thing or, you know, I don't know.

[Jen]

I think that's a fantastic suggestion from Jen because that way you have the band to give to your daughter. By the time she gets old enough, you'll be able to replace the diamond.

[Burt]

Hey, Cindy. Good morning.

[Michelle]

Good morning. How are you?

[Jen]

Good.

[Michelle]

I'm confused. I'm wondering why it is that as a parent of two young children and their ages, 4 and 5, if she's the custodial parent, why she even owes him child support at all? I mean, if they're living with her, why wouldn't he be paying her child support? I don't. I don't understand that part.

[Donna]

Well, she explained earlier that he did pay, but he was paying her and he overpaid. So what she's doing is she's paying him back.

[Michelle]

I see. Okay, thank you.

[Lorena]

Bye.

[Burt]

And good morning. You're on all the hits Q100. Hi.

[Michelle]

Hi.

[Christina]

My name is Christina. I just got recently divorced, like, not even a month ago. Tell her not to give that ring. That has nothing to do what she owes him.

[Michelle]

That.

[Christina]

That makes no sense. That's just stupid.

[Burt]

Well, she wants to get out of that financial rock that she's under right now. She thinking this is the only way to do it.

[Christina]

No, that's not the only. I've been in financial rock with my ex husband, and he, in a way, still loves her. The only reason he went back to her to tell her give me the ring back is because he wants a reaction from her.

[Michelle]

That is all.

[Christina]

That makes no sense. That ring has nothing to do with what he. She owes him. That's money. And a ring, that's a symbol of what they had in the past.

[Donna]

But why keep that? Like, why? I don't understand. Why keep a symbol of something that ended badly? Especially when you have pictures and wedding books. And, you know, all that stuff. And like, I think for the kid.

[Jen]

I think for the kids, I, I.

[Donna]

Why would you want to pass down something to the kids that ended even.

[Jen]

Though it means differently for the kids, it means differently. If I came from divorced parents again, though, I can't. They're my parents. It doesn't matter how the marriage ended. Those are still my parents. And I think a symbol of their union together that brought me into this world would mean something regardless of how it ended, you know?

[Burt]

Chad with a suggestion. Hey, Chad.

[Michelle]

Hey. How you doing?

[Burt]

All right.

[Michelle]

Yeah. Most guys aren't real smart. She could go spend a few hundred bucks on a center stone, give it to him, tell him she had to take him out of her set and keep the ring. You never know.

[Burt]

That's probably way true, right? There could be. That's probably way true. Yep, I know.

[Michelle]

Well, I was actually thinking about going to Ball Machine and getting one out of there.

[Burt]

He wouldn't know.

[Host 1]

Bubble gum Machine.

[Burt]

He wouldn't know.

[Host 1]

Now, this sounds a little weird, but isn't it? Does it strike anybody else as strange that he wants this money back? Like, overpaying for his kids?

[Burt]

The whole thing is strange.

[Host 1]

Well, yeah, the whole thing is strange, but, like, it's, you know, it's $1,300 that he's given her for his children.

[Burt]

His own kids. Right.

[Host 1]

The fact that you owe that back to him strikes me as a little weird in the first place, I guess.

[Burt]

I didn't even think of that for your kids.

[Donna]

That's not. Yeah, but his thing is he probably does.

[Host 1]

He stopped paying child support at a certain age or something. Like, they're still young kids.

[Michelle]

He's supposed to stop paying child support at the age of 18. He's got another 14 years to pay.

[Host 1]

So can't this just apply towards future months? I'm confused. I'm confused about you owing back his money that he's using to pay for your kids.

[Michelle]

Well, he doesn't see it that way because he sees it as that little bit of extra money that I have is going to my wild parties and all the drinking that I go and have and these wild vacations I take, that it's not being spent on shoes for school, another pair of jeans, book bags, you know.

[Jen]

Well, what is the law? I mean, because this is the part of the divorce is all the emotion that's involved in it. Explain again the legal. Your legal obligation to pay him back. Is there one.

[Michelle]

Actually between him and I, Because I had called the child enforcement people. They said okay, well, it was written down in our divorce agreement that he would pay me back this certain amount at this certain amount per week. And then after that, it just says, after that debt is paid off, then it stops. And it didn't. But they said we should handle it between ourselves. That is between him and I. Now we can't. Now, he went to an attorney, and the attorney said, well, you know, we could sue her for that money back. But he said, it's going to cost you a lot of money. It's all cost her a lot of money to go to court. He said, I think you just need to call her and see if you guys can work something out.

[Burt]

Let me take one more call for you here. Michelle, Good morning, Lorena. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Lorena]

How you doing?

[Burt]

Good. Thank you for calling.

[Lorena]

Hey, guess what? If he made you a payment and he didn't keep track of it, and he's giving you money, that's a gift, and he can't legally take it from you, so let him take you to court. It'll cost $2700 for him to get a lawyer and get you into court.

[Host 1]

Which he's probably not going to do anyway. Follow through on it.

[Lorena]

It wouldn't be financially worth it unless he was just vindictive. Plus, if he gets into a court and he says, I overpaid her and I did this and that, and they're going to say, you're vindictive.

[Burt]

What a mess. I wish there were. There are times in your life where you could, like, TiVo back and just see it all over again. Because I would love to hear the conversation when he asked you to get the ring, to take the ring back and use it on his younger girlfriend.

[Jen]

Well, Michelle's not. I mean, listen to what Michelle said. Like, she gave him advice on his relationships with these younger women. Like, she's not letting it go. So, I mean, she. She can. She's considering it, and she probably. I don't know. I just feel like Michelle's not being strong enough in it. Like, I know this is the father of your kids, but I'm shocked that you're even. Even entertained. Absolutely.

[Michelle]

It's. It's the money issue. That's. That's what got me. It's the money issue. If he is willing to write off all of that money, I'm willing to say, here, have it.

[Burt]

All I can say is. All I can tell you is most people are calling up saying, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.

[Donna]

I'm on the other side.

[Burt]

You think the ring. Yeah. Shouldn't have any sentimental value anyway.

[Donna]

It's kind of tainted.

[Jen]

I like the idea that Jen suggested. First of all, in writing, whatever you do, Michelle, don't cave in and be, oh, this is. I've married seven years. He's my friend, blah, blah, blah, blah. Writing. But whatever agreement you have in writing. But yeah, take the stone. You know, keep the. Keep the ring. Give him the stone. Put that in writing.

[Burt]

Or I like Chad's idea. Go out and buy yourself another stone. Give it to him. He'll never know the difference. The dude will never know the difference.

[Michelle]

He won't.

[Burt]

Never. All right, Michelle, we got all your info. We got to follow up with you. When are you going to make this decision?

[Michelle]

Well, he's got them this coming weekend, so I need to make a phone call here in the next couple of days.

[Burt]

Well, let's talk to you over the next couple of days, find out what you did, because I know we'll get email on it.

[Michelle]

Okay.

[Host 1]

And do your best to keep your kids out of it.

[Burt]

Yeah, definitely.

[Michelle]

Yes, I have.

[Burt]

Good luck, Michelle.

[Michelle]

Thanks for your help. I appreciate it.

[Burt]

Bye now.

[Michelle]

Bye. Bye.

[Host 1]

Get it?

[Burt]

The bird show.