Vault: Her family wants to hijack the honeymoon

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Her family wants to hijack the honeymoon
Date: June 29, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around a listener, Katie, who seeks advice from The Bert Show cast and listeners regarding an unexpected and uncomfortable situation: her sister-in-law wants her and her husband to take their two-year-old niece with them on their international "honeymoon/anniversary" trip. The cast and callers debate whether this request is appropriate, how to address family dynamics, and suggest possible solutions and compromises. The tone is candid, humorous, and empathetic, reflecting the show’s authentic and relatable style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Katie’s Story: The Unexpected Ask

• Katie explains: She and her husband are planning a delayed, one-year anniversary honeymoon abroad to meet her husband's extended family for the first time. After sharing their travel plans, her sister-in-law surprisingly asks if they can take their two-year-old niece along so the niece can also meet her grandparents.
  • “[My sister-in-law] says, ‘Let me know [the dates] so that I can buy a ticket for my daughter—my niece.’ And I said, ‘Oh.’” – Katie (03:00)
• Katie, caught off-guard, tentatively agrees in the moment but immediately regrets it and wonders how to reverse her answer.
  • “As soon as I hung up the phone, I was like, what did I just do? Why did I say that?” – Katie (03:19)

2. The Husband’s Perspective

• Katie’s husband’s stance: He had apparently already unofficially agreed to the plan, which further complicates things for Katie.
  • “Did you tell them we would take our niece?” – Katie
  • “Yeah, is that a problem?” – Katie’s husband (03:26)
  • Cast reaction: “Oh no, such your husband’s fault.” (03:33)
• The husband feels it's not a big deal due to cultural/family norms, but Katie feels out of her depth, not being comfortable with kids and anxious about being responsible for someone else’s child abroad.

3. Is This Really a Honeymoon?

• Cast members challenge whether the trip still qualifies as a honeymoon with a toddler in tow, emphasizing the importance of couple time.
  • “A honeymoon is with no family. None.” – Caller (04:59)
  • “This is not going to be a honeymoon.” – Caller (09:19)
• Katie admits their original honeymoon was low-key and local, making this trip both a family visit and hopefully a romantic getaway.

4. Cultural Considerations and Family Expectations

• Callers and cast discuss whether her husband’s background normalizes this type of family pooling and shared childcare.
  • “Is it a cultural thing? ...Why they don’t think it’s this big imposition?” – Caller (07:42)
  • Katie responds: “That’s what my husband says, is that I have to understand that family is everything and kids are the most important.” (07:47)
• The cast notes such requests might be routine in some families, though Katie is still uncomfortable.

5. Listener Reactions and Advice

• Strong consensus among listeners and cast: Katie shouldn’t feel obligated to take her niece on a trip meant for her own enjoyment and relationship.
  • “Tell them no way because this is her time to meet the grandparents. They’re not babysitting… She’s just trying to use her as a free babysitter.” – Ashley, caller (05:43)
  • “It doesn’t matter how old [the child] is or where you’re traveling to. It’s just rude to ask.” – Caller (07:19)
• They debate practicalities, like the cost of tickets for toddlers on airplanes, and advise Katie to set boundaries to avoid setting a problematic precedent in her marriage.
  • “She’s about to set a precedent that is going to follow her the rest of her marriage… Pick up a spine and go in there and tell them, ‘No, we’re not taking this kid, this is our honeymoon.’” – Caller, Sergeant (11:13)

6. Differing Opinions Within the Marriage

• Central issue: Katie and her husband are not on the same page; he wants to take the niece, she does not.
  • “There’s the real problem right there.” – Host (08:27)
• Gender roles and responsibility: Katie insists her husband is better with kids; she anticipates he’ll be the main caregiver. However, she’s still worried the task may fall to her.

7. Compromise Solutions

• The cast proposes a practical middle ground:
  • Take the niece to visit family for two days, then leave her with grandparents and go off as a couple for the honeymoon portion.
    • “Okay, you’ll take the two-year-old to grandma and grandpa’s house, spend 48 hours, then you guys leave the kid with grandma and grandpa for three days…” – Caller (09:22)
  • Katie enthusiastically agrees to try this negotiation:
    • “Yeah, I think that’s brilliant. I’ll definitely try that.” – Katie (09:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Regret in Real Time:
  • “As soon as I hung up the phone, I was like, what did I just do? Why did I say that?” – Katie (03:19)
• On Married Life Precedents:
  • “She’s about to set a precedent that is going to follow her the rest of her marriage… Pick up a spine and go in there and tell them, ‘No, we’re not taking this kid, this is our honeymoon.’” – Sergeant, caller (11:13)
• On Family Norms:
  • “That’s his culture. That’s what they do. It’s not a weird thing to him. So for us on the outside looking in, we're like, oh, that's weird.” – Cast Member (11:41)
• Compromise Solution:
  • “I think what you… have from at this point is you have to convince your husband that, okay, you’ll take the two-year-old to grandma and grandpa’s house, spend 48 hours, then you guys get out of there for three days…” – Caller (09:22)

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Key Timestamps for Segments

• Katie tells her story: 01:06 – 04:07
• Listener/cast reaction and discussion of family v. honeymoon: 04:07 – 06:11
• Arguments about cultural norms and boundaries: 07:42 – 08:27
• Katie and husband’s differences highlighted: 08:18 – 09:03
• Compromise suggested and accepted by Katie: 09:22 – 09:53
• Caller warns about marital precedent: 11:13
• Show wraps up with Katie accepting compromise: 12:01 – 12:37

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Conclusion

Katie faces a relatable marital and family dilemma: the risk of her once-in-a-lifetime trip becoming a working vacation as an aunt and babysitter. The Bert Show cast, with characteristic wit and empathy, help her process the dynamics, validate her feelings, and emphasize the value of boundaries. The practical compromise—combining a brief family visit with an uninterrupted couple’s holiday—wins the day. The episode underscores the importance of honest communication, cultural understanding, and holding onto personal boundaries in relationships.

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Transcript

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[Host (The Bird Show)]

The Bird Show Here is Katie. Good morning, Katie.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

Hi.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

How are you today?

[Katie]

Okay, I'm, I'm pretty good.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Did I get your story a little twisted? Are you the one going on the honeymoon or is it your sister that's going on the honeymoon?

[Katie]

No, I'm going on my honeymoon and it's actually my sister in law.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

Oh, no.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Okay, that might change things. Okay, that might change things a little bit.

[Katie]

It's a little confusing, I know.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

All right, so explain. You're going on your honeymoon. Did you just get married or is this one of these honeymoons where you married like last year and you've put it off until now?

[Katie]

Yeah, we're going on our one year anniversary.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

Okay.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Okay.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

All right.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

All right.

[Katie]

And so it's my, it's my husband's brother and his wife. They have a girl and the girl is two, she's going to be three. And she has met one set of grandparents but has not met the other set of grandparents. The grandparents live out of the country and we're going out of the country for the honeymoon so that I can meet all of the extended family who I have also not met all the people who were not able to come over for the wedding. Okay, so I understand that. And it just sort of caught me a little bit off guard at first because I was really excited to take our honeymoon there to meet all of the family. I've never gone out of the country before. My husband and I, this is the first real big long vacation that we're taking together. And so I'm really excited about that. And I guess about a week after we told my in laws about it, I get a phone call from my sister in law saying, hey, have you decided the dates that you're going to travel yet? And I said, no, we haven't, we haven't nailed down exact dates just yet. And she says, well, when you do, let me know so that I can buy a ticket for my daughter who is my niece. And I said, oh.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

And I guess, you know, in the

[Katie]

moment sometimes you, you're not really thinking straight.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

And so I said, oh, okay, sure,

[Katie]

we'll let you know.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

I've done that.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

And then as soon as I hung up the phone, I was like, what

[Katie]

did I just do?

[Caller 4 / Listener]

Why did I say that?

[Katie]

Yeah, why did I say that?

[Caller 1 / Listener]

So I, of course I talked to

[Katie]

my husband and I said, did you tell them that we would take our knees?

[Caller 1 / Listener]

And he said, yeah, is that a problem?

[Caller 5 / Listener]

Oh, no, such your husband's fault.

[Katie]

I know.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

And I said, well, I guess it's

[Katie]

not a huge problem, but, you know,

[Caller 1 / Listener]

it's not our kid.

[Katie]

And my first reaction was, honestly, if anything happens to her, they'll never forgive us. That was my first big fear, you know. And secondly, I said, can you even take a kid out of the country who's not yours? But apparently it's not really that big of a deal to do that.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

So that was your first reaction? My first reaction be like, this is our honeymoon. Why are we taking our knees?

[Host (The Bird Show)]

But is it really a honeymoon?

[Katie]

That was my second reaction, which I know is that's kind of backwards. But I originally thought, oh my gosh, what if something happens? And I am not good with kids. Kids are not a strong suit of mine. I don't really get them. I'm not exactly sure that I want them, you know, so kids make me nervous.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Now I'm trying to define what honeymoon is. Did you have a honeymoon initially after you got married and this is a vacation that you're sort of cleverly disguising as a honeymoon, or is this really like a romantic getaway?

[Caller 1 / Listener]

This is, I guess it's kind of both.

[Katie]

We had a small honeymoon here when we got married, but we stayed here and we stayed in a hotel here for a few days and basically hung out with both of the fam. Both sides of the family, because we kind of thought they would pretty much never see each other again.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

Yeah, a honeymoon is with no family. None.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

This is a real honeymoon, right?

[Caller 2 / Listener]

Yeah. I mean, I can understand if you were going near the grandparents and were going somewhere else where you were dropping, you were traveling with her to the grandparents, and then you all were going off and then when you came back, you get her and come back. I could understand that part. To accompany her to the grandparents house when the grandparents dropped her off to drop her off. But the fact that this is your visit to the grandparents, I can't believe that your husband even agreed to it.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Here's some advice. Calls 404-741-Q100 hey, Ashley.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

Hey.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Hi. You have Katie here who Wants to go on her honeymoon, but now has agreed to take her two year old niece with her out of the country. And she kind of wants to reverse that.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

I say tell them no way because this is her time to meet the grandparents. They're not babysitting their niece for their sister in law. She's just trying to use her as a free babysitter.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

Well, I agreed to it.

[Caller 4 / Listener]

I don't understand why they wouldn't go or at least one of them try to get the money saved up to go.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

It could be a financial thing like they could just not afford it. Which is why they're saying so if

[Caller 4 / Listener]

you can't afford it, then your kid doesn't go either.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

But they can afford the kids ticket is what they're saying.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

They can afford one, but they can't afford two or three. So why not just piggyback on them?

[Caller 4 / Listener]

If the child is two, can't the child ride on the lap?

[Caller 3 / Listener]

No. It's up till two, isn't it?

[Host (The Bird Show)]

I don't, you know what, I should know that and I can't remember what it is.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

I think it's up till two because I remember reading it, you know, just on the airplane this past trip and in the sky magazine or whatever it says that if the child has a birthday during the trip then you have to buy a seat the whole way. And I believe it's if the child turns 2.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

We used to lie, we used to lie about Hayden all the time.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

Well, he still can.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

He's a little undersized. He's a little fella, he's like three and a half, four years old. And we'd say he was like you know, two and they don't question you.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

Yeah, free ticket shows they gonna ask for his license.

[Caller 4 / Listener]

The child's not a big child and she's two. Maybe you could get away with that.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Hey Carly, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

Hi guys. Love the show. I'm just telling her no, don't do it. Especially if it's a three year old. That's a big responsibility and it's not your kid big responsibility and going out of the country. I can't believe that her sister in law would do that to her.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

That's a lot of work. Two years old is a, that's, that's the work age right there.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

And my thing is though, it doesn't matter how old it is and it doesn't matter where you're traveling to. It's just rude to ask, it's rude

[Host (The Bird Show)]

to offer, but at this point, we're past the rude part of the whole thing because she's already accepted. So what are the words that she uses back to say? She has to say, I made a mistake.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

He accepted. I think it's his responsibility. It's his family.

[Bluff]

Yeah.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

He has to fix it.

[Caller 5 / Listener]

Well, has she bought the ticket yet? Has she bought the child's ticket yet?

[Caller 6 / Listener]

No.

[Caller 5 / Listener]

Is it a cultural thing?

[Caller 4 / Listener]

Why they don't think it's like this big imposition?

[Caller 1 / Listener]

Yeah.

[Katie]

That's what my husband says, is that I have to understand that family is everything and the kids are the most important. And I do agree with that. Do agree with that. But it's not my kid.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Right.

[Caller 4 / Listener]

Well, that's why I think that it's not going to be your husband who's going to fix it, because his family is going to look at him like he's crazy because this is their culture and that's just how they do things. So they're going to. They're going to blame you regardless if he tries to fix it or not. So I think in order to get it done, like, you guys both have to go in together and sit down and talk with them about it.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

Does your husband even want to take it back? I mean, you were split on the opinion of this.

[Katie]

No, he wants to take her.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

Same page.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

There's the real problem right there.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

I mean, her husband and her don't even agree on this.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Yeah.

[Caller 4 / Listener]

Will he take most of the responsibility for the child while you're there, or will it end up being your responsibility because you're the woman?

[Katie]

Oh, no, no.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

He's.

[Katie]

He's actually much better with kids than I am. I mean, much better with kids than I am. He would probably be the one who entertains her.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

And once you get past, you know, once you get to family and to the grandparents, they want to take care of that baby the entire time. So I don't think that's really the issue.

[Katie]

Well, that's what he's telling me is that it's not going to be a problem, but I don't know. I just don't trust that.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

Are you staying confused? I'm even confused on the trip. Are you staying with the grandparents?

[Caller 1 / Listener]

No.

[Katie]

No, no.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

So they are going to be in your. The baby will be in your possession most of the time.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

Possession.

[Katie]

I think a majority of the time,

[Host (The Bird Show)]

it's like a firearm.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

This is not going to be a honeymoon.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

You have to rename it for sure.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

I think what you. Your negotiating point where you have from at this Point is you have to convince your husband that, okay, you'll take the two year old to grandma and grandpa's house, then you'll spend like 48 hours with grandma and grandpa, you know, doing that whole thing. Then you guys leave the kid with grandma and grandpa and you guys get out of there for like three days so you can have a honeymoon. Like would he go for that?

[Caller 4 / Listener]

I think that's a good plan. He's a compromise anyway.

[Katie]

Yeah, I think that's brilliant. I'll definitely try that.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

I think the way to say it to him is, you know, it's after 8:30, so it's the level of intimacy you'll be able to achieve and what frequency. If you have a two year old around, it's not going to happen. If you don't have that two year old around, it's going to happen a lot. And I think that that would be the best negotiating tool.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

Yeah.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Good morning to Kim. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

Hi.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Hey.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

My question is if he's Hispanic because once you take the kid over there, you like to never see you.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Never what?

[Caller 1 / Listener]

You never see them anymore.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

What do you mean?

[Caller 2 / Listener]

The child or husband?

[Caller 1 / Listener]

The child. I mean, I take my sister in law's kids there a lot.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

I don't really understand what you're saying.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

Yeah, what are you talking about?

[Host (The Bird Show)]

You mean like the family is just going to take care of the child the entire time?

[Caller 1 / Listener]

Yeah, I mean I take my sister in law's kids there and once you're there, I mean all the sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, everybody wants that kid because they will probably hardly ever see that kid again.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Everybody wants the child except you, Katie.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

How do you feel?

[Katie]

No, I love my niece, I adore her, but

[Caller 3 / Listener]

we get it.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

But I would make that clear before you go. I mean, I understand about the family's gonna take care of it. I would make that clear as the plan. Before you go.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Good morning Sergeant. Step your hunky 100.

[Caller 6 / Listener]

She, she needs to really wake up. She's about to set a precedence that is going to follow her the rest of her marriage. And what they need to do is run out of the store and pick up a spine and go in there and tell them, no, we're not taking this kid, this is our honeymoon. What happens if their flight gets laid over somewhere and you get stuck in whatever and now you're stuck the entire time with a kid on your honeymoon? You gotta be kidding me.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

The problem really is that he wants the baby to go and she doesn't.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

That's the reality. He's made up of this. He agreed.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Right.

[Caller 4 / Listener]

Well. Cause he's used to it. That's his culture. That's what they do. It's not a weird thing to him. So for us on the outside looking in, we're like, oh, that's weird. Why would you even think about that?

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Katie, what are you gonna do?

[Katie]

I think I'm going to take Jeff's advice. Can you believe it?

[Caller 4 / Listener]

No.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Yeah, of course.

[Caller 3 / Listener]

It's brilliant.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

I think I'm going to. I think I'm going to make the

[Katie]

compromise because, you know, the plan always was to see the family as well. And so maybe what we can say is, yeah, I'm going to spend, you know, two solid days with the family and with the niece and we'll make it a big family time. And then the rest of the time we're going to be in our hotel and we're going to be tourists and going around and seeing everything else and see if he'll go for it.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

There you go.

[Caller 5 / Listener]

Just make sure you coordinate that with the grandparents too, because everybody has to be on the same page.

[Caller 2 / Listener]

I'd like to see, I'd like to talk to you afterwards.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Yeah, let's see if it all worked out the way you really thought. All right, Katie, good luck.

[Caller 1 / Listener]

Thank you.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

All right, bye. Bye.

[Katie]

Okay, bye now.

[Host (The Bird Show)]

Hey, the bird show.

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