The Bert Show: Vault – "Her Friend Is Cheating And She Wants To Address It"

Original Airdate: November 7, 2025
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others
Episode Context: Nicole (a pseudonym and using a voice disguiser) calls in to discuss a moral dilemma involving a friend who is cheating on her husband with multiple partners. Nicole feels trapped because of intersecting social circles and is unsure how to proceed.

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode centers around a listener's ethical and emotional struggle: Nicole has discovered a new friend is cheating on her husband, and their husbands are becoming friends. She feels uncomfortable keeping the secret, worried about personal consequences, and torn about whether — and how — to confront her friend or distance herself from the relationship.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Nicole’s Dilemma: Friendship versus Morality

• Situation Overview (01:04–02:26)

  • Nicole is new to the area, has few friends, and admits her friendship is partly out of “desperation” (01:32).
  • Her friend — married with a small child — is cheating, sneaking out at night to see other men while the family sleeps.
  • Nicole details, “She’s not being faithful. And it’s not just one man … it’s like three. She will leave in the middle of the night once her child’s gone to sleep and go off and hook up” (01:40).

• Consequences of Knowing (03:53–04:14)

  • Complication: both couples are starting to bond (“Her husband and my husband are starting to become friends … he’ll make comments to my husband, and she’s sitting there kicking me under the table. So it’s so …” (03:53)).
  • Nicole worries about guilt by association and the perception others may have about her (“I don’t want my husband to think badly of me … because she’s my friend” (04:14)).

Gender Dynamics in Friendships

• Ending Friendships: Gender Differences (04:32–05:45)
  • The hosts discuss how men and women differ in ending problematic friendships.
  • Bert: “If Dolvett starts doing something that bugs you … you just kind of end the friendship, and that’s it” (04:32).
  • Observes it’s harder for women, who view relationships as intertwined with their identity.

Keeping or Sharing Secrets Between Couples

• The Couple “Package Deal” (06:04–08:25)
  • Debate: Do you keep secrets from your spouse if the secret involves another couple?
  • “I think you have to go into that knowing that if you confide into something with [one] spouse that’s true, then the other one is going to know” (06:12).
  • Some hosts believe a direct request for secrecy may still not guarantee privacy within couples.

Conflicting Loyalties & Practical Advice

• Nicole’s Husband’s Awareness (05:54–06:04)

  • Nicole confirms her husband doesn’t know about the cheating.
  • Hosts collectively urge that Nicole should tell her husband, especially since their husbands are getting closer. “You got to tell him, especially now that your husband is getting tight with the guy” (06:04).

• Listener Call & Personal Experience (09:35–10:03)

  • Amber calls in, sharing a similar experience: “I had nothing to do with her after that because she just disgusted me so much.…to me, that’s just something you don’t do in a marriage.”
  • This underscores how such situations rip through friend groups.

• Consensus: End the Friendship (10:03–10:54)

  • Bert sums up: “This is really much simpler than you’re making it out to be, and that’s get out of the friendship. If you don’t agree with it, you’re only in it because of desperation anyway. You don’t respect her. There’s too much to lose here.” (10:03)

  • Others reiterate that unless this friend was a childhood confidante, there is little reason to stay and risk one’s marriage, reputation, and peace of mind.

Further Reflection: Why Is It Harder for Women to End Friendships?

• Exploring Emotional Bonds (11:01–13:21)
  • Kristin and others discuss how women invest more in friendships, talking more frequently and sharing intimate details, making breakups harder.
  • “For us, if a girlfriend goes away, our life has changed forever.” (13:21)
  • By contrast, male friendships are lower-maintenance and often resume seamlessly after long absences.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Unfaithful Friend:

  • “She will leave in the middle of the night once her child’s gone to sleep and go off and hook up with one of these guys.” — Nicole (01:40)
  • “Her husband and my husband are starting to become friends … and she’s sitting there kicking me under the table.” — Nicole (03:53)

• On Male vs. Female Friendships:

  • “Do women have a difficult time ending friendships?” — Bert (05:01)
  • “Women, relationships … are what their life is about. So it’s either their friendships or their relationship with their partner or their children or … parents.” — Kristin (05:24)
  • “For us, if a girlfriend goes away, our life has changed forever.” — Kristin (13:21)
  • “It’s good being a guy. Y’all are too complicated.” — Bert (13:55)

• On Keeping Secrets Within Couples:

  • “The only thing that I would [keep from a spouse] is if it was about Ryan or Stacy, and that would almost compel you more to tell them.” — Abby (07:06)
  • “If someone tells me straight up, this is between you and I, then it’s between you and I. I would not tell Stacy.” — Bert (08:16)

• On the Advice:

  • “Get out of the friendship. If you don’t agree with it, you’re only in it because of desperation anyway. You don’t respect her. There’s too much to lose here, so get out.” — Bert (10:03)

Key Timestamps

• 01:04 — Nicole introduces her situation and concern
• 01:40 — Revelations on the cheating friend’s behavior
• 03:53 — Couples becoming closer: Nicole’s anxiety rises
• 04:32–05:45 — Gender differences in ending friendships
• 06:04–08:25 — Debate over secrets within couples
• 09:38–10:03 — Listener Amber shares a similar experience
• 10:03–10:54 — Hosts unanimously advise Nicole to end the friendship
• 11:01–13:21 — Discussions on emotional closeness and maintenance in male and female friendships

Takeaways

• The hosts are unanimous: Nicole should end the friendship, tell her husband, and avoid further entanglement.
• Hiding this information can lead to larger personal and relational consequences.
• The show offers insights into gendered approaches to friendships, loyalty, and boundaries between personal and couple relationships.
• The episode blends humor, empathy, and real talk — typical of The Bert Show’s tone — while navigating genuinely sticky life dilemmas.