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Host (Burch)
Marketers, here's something to note. 75% of listeners don't consider podcasters to be influencers, yet 84% say a podcaster has changed their mind about something they once believed. That's the paradox of podcast influence. It's built on credibility, not clout. Trust, not trends. Acast's podcast Pulse 2025 report reveals how podcast creators are redefining influence through resonance multi platform fandoms and their ability to shape culture. Get the full free@podcastpulse2025.com the Birch show.
Melissa
This may be another great example. And Melissa said this time and time again that a woman's worst enemy are other women.
Dee Dee
Yeah, women are their own worst enemy. Absolutely.
Melissa
Producer Tracey may be able to back you up on this.
Tracey
I have a good friend of mine that has been coming to me lately for more and more advice. You know, like all of a sudden I'm her new best friend. And that's because recently, well, not even so much recently, she's been dating a guy for a while and she was going to her real best friend, you know, an even better friend to her than I am for, you know, just talking about your typical, you know, guy problems, you know, little problems that come up in relationships. Well, she can't go to this girl anymore because she's realized every time she approaches this girl, the girl blows the problems way out of proportion and tries to convince this girl that he's just not. He doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you. You're in the wrong relationship. And I know this guy and he's great. Like he could, you couldn't ask for a better boyfriend.
Advertiser
And.
Tracey
And she thinks it's because her best friend is a little bitter and upset that she's really hasn't ever had a boyfriend, therefore wants her to be alone too.
Phil
So her best friend's really sabotaging her relationship.
Tracey
Exactly.
Phil
Because she wants her to be alone and lonely.
Melissa
Right do women do this? I mean, do a little soul searching here. Do you guys know women or have you done this before? That it just makes you feel a lot better about being single if your friends are single. Also that you're not completely happy if your friends are really happy.
Dee Dee
Well, I'm wondering if it's a conscious thing. Have never tried to sabotage a friend's relationship if I'm not in one. But I do know friends, and one of the questions I have for Tracy, I do know friends that will avoid certain friends who are single with relationship questions because they know of the negative response they're gonna get because they have the same sense. Has she always, like you said, this best friend has never been really in a relationship.
Tracey
She's never really been. I mean, she's maybe dated a couple guys here and there. She's just not the type of girl that has any luck with relationships. And she's always kind of been a little bitter about it and. Yeah. So she's just giving this girl awful advice and trying to convince her that she's dating this horrible guy because she wants her friend to be alone, too. Like, doesn't. Yeah, Just wants her best friend, I guess, now.
Dee Dee
Yeah. I don't know if it's conscious. I just also wonder if you have to choose people who can relate to you more than others, you know, like, if.
Melissa
Why go to somebody?
Caller/Guest
Like, if her.
Dee Dee
If her experience with men is all negative, then she's gonna see this friend's boyfriend's, you know, signs as being worse than they really are because her experience is that way. Does that make sense?
Melissa
Yeah, it does. But I can also see the part of this, if you really did some soul searching on the whole thing, where there could be some people that don't want their friends to be completely 100% happy because they're not 100% happy.
Dee Dee
Absolutely. I think that.
Phil
Yeah, I think that it depends on, like, whether she's doing it maliciously or not. Because I have had a friend who has told me she's one of my single friends from college, and she's told me. She's like, you know what? It is really, really hard to be happy for every single one of our girlfriends from college getting engaged, getting married, doing all that stuff. So she's admitted to me before, like, you know, yeah, I'm happy for you guys, but at the same time, it kind of stinks to be sitting here, and all we talk about are weddings and marriages and all that kind of stuff. And I haven't found anybody yet.
Melissa
Yeah, 404-741-1005 hey, Rebecca.
Rebecca
Hey, Bert. I just wanted to say I had a girlfriend that was single, and I always had a boyfriend or whatnot, and she would always have something horrible to say about them and always try to get me to go out with her and party and so that I could find someone better. You know, when people are unhappy with themselves, they just try to make everybody else unhappy around them. And, you know, it just sucks because women are very, very conniving, and they do try to get what they want. And especially if it's a best friend, they do want to make you single with them, and they want somebody to party with them, and they don't care if it is a good man or not.
Phil
Well, I think it goes back to that old saying, misery loves company. I don't think it's necessarily just a woman thing. I think it's an anybody thing. You know, I think misery loves company.
Dee Dee
My question is, guys. I mean, you talk. You know, guys give other guys a hard time when they start getting in a committed relationship because you want your boy back.
Melissa
You want.
Dee Dee
You want to hang out with your boy. You can. You honestly can tell me that a guy's never sabotaged his friend's relationship just to have him single with him again?
Melissa
I would not. If it's a good relationship, like, if we told. I think it's different for guys. Like, I just don't think we think as complicated as you guys do. I really don't.
Jeff
I totally think it's women, because, I mean, women, again, at some point, it will have to be accepted that women operate differently than men.
Dee Dee
Agreed.
Jeff
And the way that you guys wrap your minds around everything, it becomes everything with women is a competition. And so here's the deal. Here's a girl who's happy and things are going great. It's another woman's job to try to make herself an equal with that girl. And if that means breaking up a relationship, she will do it.
Melissa
Strong words, Melissa Carter.
Dee Dee
Well, I agree with what Jeff's saying about women, but I don't think men are immune to that. I think you talk about women are competitive with each other, so are men. And I have really hardly known a man that is up front supportive of his buddy with a new girlfriend until he's just beat down to where he realizes this woman.
Melissa
Disagree. Disagree with you?
Dee Dee
Are you kidding me?
Melissa
Totally disagree.
Dee Dee
Are you kidding me?
Melissa
Not true at all.
Tracey
I think guys, though, are different. Like, I think they try and convince their buddy. Think how much fun you'd be having. If you weren't in a relationship, you need to be fun and crazy again. Whereas this girl specifically going out of her way to paint the picture of this guy as being a horrible person, but he's not.
Jeff
The guys are doing it in the nature of ribbing. Like, they're not trying to destroy a relationship or get their boy back. Like, they're doing it because that's what guys are supposed to do. Oh, you're gonna get married, huh? The old ball and chain. Whatever. It's what. That's what we're supposed to do, but it's not.
Dee Dee
You want us to soul search and. Yeah, come on, now. I've heard you tell guys who are younger, well, you don't need to be, you know, you need to be out having fun.
Phil
You should be reaping the benefits of.
Dee Dee
Radio right now, dude.
Phil
It's so great. You should be, like, getting all the chicks from radio.
Dee Dee
This is the time for you to tag it.
Phil
I have sat here and watched this, man.
Jeff
Hold on. That is not him trying to be competitive with Phil.
Melissa
Right.
Dee Dee
But it's still sabotaging something he's involved in.
Melissa
The difference here is that. The difference here is that what you guys do to each other is to make you feel better about your own situation.
Host (Burch)
Yeah.
Melissa
Whereas with. If I'm talking to Phil and I'm like, dude, look what you have here. I mean, you're on.
Dee Dee
Still sabotaging a relationship. But I give. I get your.
Melissa
But it's not because I'm not invested in it. I'm not doing it because I want to feel better that I'm married. You know what I'm saying?
Tracey
And Bert doesn't really have a goal in his mind to break Phil up with Mary Kay. Like, he's just giving him a hard time, whereas this girl specifically wants her best friend to break up with the guy.
Melissa
Yeah.
Phil
But you just can't say. You can't say, though. It's just.
Melissa
Well, I just don't think we think about it as much as you guys. I don't think we do.
Jeff
We don't.
Melissa
I don't think we do. Hey, Deedee.
Caller/Guest
Yeah.
Advertiser
Good morning.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Morning.
Dee Dee
Hi. Go ahead.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Hi. I don't think that all women are out to make sure that their friends end up alone. I had my best friend hooked up with a guy who I could clearly see was a loser. And she couldn't because she was so into him at the time. And the only way I could figure out to get her to see that he was a loser because I Watched him hit on other women when he was with her, was to go ahead and hit on him myself. And I knew that if I took him to bed and he went and would tell her that I had done it.
Phil
No way.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
It's exactly what happened. I screwed the guy.
Dee Dee
Oh, come on.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
And then he went to her and he started out, and I said, I've known you for seven years, and you're gonna believe this guy that you've known for six years?
Melissa
So wait a second, Deedee. You're saying you had sex with your friend's boyfriend just to prove to her how bad a guy he was?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Yeah. She had had a miserable first marriage at a very young age and was very vulnerable. And I didn't. I just didn't care. She's my best friend. She's my best friend.
Phil
Today you were saving her.
Tracey
You kidding?
Dee Dee
You slept with your boyfriend and she's your best. Okay, come on.
Jeff
I guess that's kind of jumping on the grenade.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Yeah, whatever.
Dee Dee
Well, and then.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
And then the guy knew the thing. The guy knew that I was gonna rat him out, but. And he thought he could still win her because he really thought that he was just the most amazing man in the. On the face of the planet. And when I ended up seeing him after she had split up with him about six weeks later, in another scenario, with a couple of women by his side, I just waved from across the room. So when you waved from across the.
Melissa
Room, when you told your friend that you slept with her boyfriend and you told her the whole.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
No, no, no. I did not tell her that I slept with him.
Dee Dee
So she doesn't know. That's why she's still your best friend, because she didn't realize you stabbed her in the back.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
She doesn't know.
Caller/Guest
So.
Melissa
So what is it you think you did to help her out?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Got rid of the loser.
Melissa
But she never knew that.
Dee Dee
I think that. No. See, the only time. One of the things I thought. The only time I've ever sabotaged someone else or getting into a relationship is if I wanted somebody within those two. Like I was sabotaging for selfish reasons. And you did the same thing.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Well, yeah, because I cared about her. That's right.
Dee Dee
As you were screwing your best friend's boyfriend, you were thinking about how much you care about. Right.
Jeff
And you know what?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Yeah. He was a loser. It was the best thing that I could have ever done. I have no regret over it. Of course.
Dee Dee
Because you had sex with him. Right.
Jeff
You know what? And you think the funny. Like you think that with this guy, like, you gave him that wave from across the room, and, ooh, yeah, you got him.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Oh, he was stiff.
Jeff
Yeah.
Dee Dee
We'd call your friend and tell her what you did to save her because you care so much about her.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
You. Well, you know, it's been 20 years, but, you know, I don't know. I mean, she's pretty happy right now.
Phil
Confused. How did she break up with him if you never told her? Like, I thought sleeping with him was gonna be your point to say. See, he would even be with me.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
He went up. Your best friend hit on me. Your best friend hit on me. And I slept with her. And she came to me and said, I cannot believe that you would do this to me. I cannot believe it. I said, I can't believe it either. I can't believe you believe this guy, who you've only known six weeks, and you've known me for years.
Melissa
But you.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
He was gone.
Dee Dee
So she lied about.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
I dumped him the next day.
Melissa
So wait a second. Did you ever come clean and say no with her? Yeah. So she. She, to this day, doesn't know that you slept with her, even though he said yes. And you said, you're gonna believe this guy over me?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Right.
Melissa
He was telling the truth.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
This was a really. This was a horrible person, this guy. I'm not kidding.
Melissa
You don't sound like such a great person either.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Yeah. Hey, let me tell you. You know, this was at a different time, too. This was a zillion years ago where, you know, people's attitudes about taking a hit for somebody else was no big deal. So I. You know, I'm sorry. I don't regret it at all.
Melissa
Well, it obviously was a big deal because she broke up with the guy.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Yes, she did. It was the greatest thing she did.
Melissa
But what you're saying is you were living in a time when it wasn't a big deal, and in another breath, you're saying they broke up.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
No, I'm just saying that at that time, you know, people were. You know, the attitudes about sleeping with people on the first date or wherever. She got seduced by the guy, and he was a really creepy, bad person.
Melissa
Katherine, go ahead. You're on with Dee Dee.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Hey, first of all, that last person was just messed up. Secondly, the former best friend, whatever that's trying to break up this girl, she needs to get a relationship coach. You know, like in the movie Hitch.
Tracey
Right.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
And change the way that she's looking at relationships. And there was just a story on CBS 46 on Sunday night, and there's this local relationship coach who has this class called Solo to Soulmate. And, I mean, basically just give it to her as a gift. It's like here. You know, I know that you're unhappy. I know that you're trying to. You know, it makes me, you know, upset that you're doing this about my relationship. So let's work on you and your relationships, and let's get you a guy.
Melissa
So, Dede, if you were giving the same advice to Tracy, you would say, go ahead, sleep with the guy and make her realize how bad a guy he is.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Now, I must admit that there was a lot more emotional stuff involved at the time. And it. It. I still do believe that it was the right thing to do. I haven't regretted it. This was an evil, bad person. Did I go about it the right way? Maybe not. But at the time, it seemed like the only thing I could do, and I was willing to do that.
Dee Dee
I wanted him to do it.
Advertiser
If he.
Dee Dee
If he an evil, bad person I don't want to go sleep with would.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Make her see that this guy was a bad person.
Dee Dee
You're so. Wow.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
I mean, I don't. You know, I've never. It's. It's just not something that I've ever done since. It's not something I had ever done before. Can I ask you a question? I had known this person. I had known what she had been through in her life. Maybe I. You know, I've stepped into it too far. But I don't regret it. I really don't. Her life is. Is very happy at this time, and so is mine.
Jeff
Can I ask you a question?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Sure.
Jeff
Like, why could. Why did you have to sleep with him? Why couldn't you have just hit on him? And then when she. He went to her and said, your best friend hit at me. Couldn't you have gotten the same results?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
I'm not sure. It was an emotional time. I reacted quickly.
Jeff
I think she's so good.
Melissa
There's no part of you at all. There's no part of you at all that wanted him?
Dee Dee
Yes.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Well, no, I can't say that there was any part of me that wanted me other than that me wanted him gone.
Dee Dee
No, you said that it was an emotional time. You mean you wanted him?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
You wanted your best friend? I cared a lot for her. I love her to this day, and I just did not want her to be stuck with somebody that was horrible like that.
Melissa
Chris wants to call BS on you. Hey, Chris.
Jeff
Yeah, I think.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Hey, what's up?
Advertiser
Hello.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
I'm calling bs.
Melissa
Yeah, you're still here. Dee Dee, Chris is on with you. Go ahead, Chris.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Yes, Dee Dee, I'm definitely calling BS on your story because if you couldn't stand the guy as much as you say you did, how could you stomach sleeping with him? Well, it was simply a, you know, it was quickie, honey. It wasn't anything long lasting and it.
Jeff
Was a different time.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
I'm sure you've never had that happen.
Melissa
Keisha, go ahead.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Hi. I just. I'm not even sure what to comment about first, in all honesty. But seriously, I think the fact that she would sleep with her best friend's man says way more about her than it ever says about the guy. Right. And I think that there are ways that you can get across to your girlfriend that she needs to rethink her relationship without compromising yourself. Because in the end, you and your girlfriends are probably all that you're going to have. Right? Until one or the both of you meet somebody that's decent and about something. That is the most despicable thing I have ever heard tell of. And she needs to go to her friend and confess what she has done and try to live this thing right. I can't believe she could hold that in that long.
Melissa
Dee, what do you say to that?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
I don't feel bad about it. That's why I don't have any remorse about holding it in. It was the right thing to do do at the time.
Jeff
You should have no problem. You should have no problem telling your friend then.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Why would I do that? She's happily married, she has children. This is 20 year old news.
Dee Dee
Right. But yeah, exactly right. That's why it wouldn't be a big deal to tell him.
Jeff
I think she. I'm with Chris. I think that Dee Dee's full of it.
Melissa
No, she sounds honest to me.
Dee Dee
I just think what I think is her intention was. I call BS on her intention. I think she wanted her best friend's boyfriend and she had him.
Phil
I'm just confused on how that was the logic in the situation. Like, I guess you had to be in the situation where you said it was an emotional time. But like, I don't think if I wanted my best friend to break up with her guy that I would concoct that kind of a soap opera ish playing.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Honestly, honestly, if you. The scenario was very complex.
Melissa
Well, you didn't make it any easier.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
It was in a difficult scenario. Had been in one. And you're right, a lot of thought didn't go into it. I was young. But I'm not sorry that I did it. I believe it and I stand by it.
Dee Dee
Yeah, I think that when you want to be right, you will justify anything and create the soap opera in your mind to make you.
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Yeah, especially when you're young.
Melissa
The second tier of the whole thing too, where he goes and he confesses to the girlfriend and then you say, well, who are you gonna believe, me or your boyfriend? He was telling the truth, right?
Dee Dee (storyteller)
Yeah, he was gone the next day. It worked out really great.
Phil
So I. Oh my God. Stories like that make me feel so normal.
Dee Dee
Well, I'm so glad that she ended up coming up and representing women in the conniving Women. Thank you so much, Dee Dee, for that.
Jeff
Well, so I think what we've heard, Tracy, is you need to get your friend a box of condoms and an overnight bag. Apparently, then she will take care of all the problems.
Host (Burch)
The Burch Show.
Caller/Guest
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Host (Burch)
Wait, we're going on tour?
Caller/Guest
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Dee Dee (storyteller)
Let's get in the tour bus and hit the road.
Caller/Guest
No, not a tour bus. It's a regular car we use to deliver and set up customers phones at home or work.
Host (Burch)
Are you a groupie on this tour?
Caller/Guest
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Host (Burch)
Oh, you're definitely a groupie.
Caller/Guest
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Host (Burch)
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Caller/Guest
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Host (Burch)
Wait, we're going on tour?
Caller/Guest
We're delivering and setting up customers phones. It's not a tour.
Melissa
Not with that attitude.
Caller/Guest
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Host (Burch)
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Dee Dee (storyteller)
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Yeah, I totally do.
Host (Burch)
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Episode: Vault: Her Friend Is Jealous Of Her Relationship
Date: December 31, 2025
This episode dives into the thorny issue of jealousy and sabotage among friends—particularly when a woman’s friend appears to undermine her romantic relationships due to her own unhappiness or lack of experience with successful partnerships. The Bert Show crew (Bert, Melissa, Dee Dee, Tracey, Phil, Jeff) and callers share personal anecdotes, challenge gender stereotypes, and offer sometimes controversial perspectives on friendship, competition, and loyalty.
[01:06]
"She thinks it's because her best friend is a little bitter and upset that she's really hasn't ever had a boyfriend, therefore wants her to be alone too." – Tracey [01:59]
[02:28 – 03:13]
"If her experience with men is all negative, then she's gonna see this friend's boyfriend's, you know, signs as being worse than they really are because her experience is that way." – Dee Dee [03:19]
[03:41 – 04:11]
[04:15]
[05:02 – 06:40]
"Everything with women is a competition...here's a girl who's happy and things are going great. It's another woman's job to try to make herself an equal with that girl. And if that means breaking up a relationship, she will do it." – Jeff [05:34]
[06:26 – 06:47]
[07:46 – 13:29]
"I screwed the guy…she doesn’t know...It was the best thing I could have ever done. I have no regret over it." – Dee Dee (caller) [08:22 & 09:59]
[14:06 – 15:22]
"The fact that she would sleep with her best friend's man says way more about her than it ever says about the guy…she needs to go to her friend and confess what she has done and try to live this thing right." – Keisha [14:37]
[15:41 – 16:43]
“If her experience with men is all negative, then she's gonna see this friend's boyfriend's, you know, signs as being worse than they really are because her experience is that way.”
— Dee Dee [03:19]
“Women are very, very conniving, and they do try to get what they want. And especially if it's a best friend, they do want to make you single with them, and they want somebody to party with them, and they don't care if it is a good man or not.”
— Rebecca (Caller) [04:44]
“Everything with women is a competition ... if that means breaking up a relationship, she will do it.”
— Jeff [05:34]
“I screwed the guy…she doesn’t know...It was the best thing that I could have ever done. I have no regret over it.”
— Dee Dee (Caller) [08:22 & 09:59]
“The fact that she would sleep with her best friend's man says way more about her than it ever says about the guy.”
— Keisha (Caller) [14:37]
“Stories like that make me feel so normal.”
— Phil [16:39]
The Bert Show’s signature mix of candid, witty, and sometimes sharply irreverent dialogue drives the episode. Hosts challenge each other, poke fun, and encourage real talk—even when things get awkward. Listeners’ unfiltered stories add shock, confusion, and laughter, making for a lively, relatable exploration of the complexities of female friendship and jealousy.