Vault: Her friends liked her better when she was fat

Summary

The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: Her Friends Liked Her Better When She Was Fat
Release Date: July 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, the Bert Show team—and their callers—delve into a deeply personal dilemma: Paige, a listener, has lost 65 pounds and reached her ideal body weight. While she feels great about her transformation, her friends seem to treat her differently, often highlighting her "before" state when introducing her to others. Paige wonders: Are her friends genuinely proud, or is there an undercurrent of jealousy or discomfort? The episode unravels the dynamics of friendships and change, body image, and navigating conversations about personal transformation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Paige's Story: The Dilemma of a Weight Transformation (01:02–03:29)

• Paige’s Accomplishment and Issue:
  • Paige calls in using a voice disguiser, sharing with Bert and the team that she’s lost 65 pounds from a starting weight of 200, reaching her ideal.
  • Her problem: friends regularly mention or even show photos of her former heavier self in social situations, especially when meeting new people or introducing her to potential dates.
  • Quotes:
    • Paige: “I used to be like 200 pounds and I've lost 65 pounds… But my friends, they're so weird about it… One of my girlfriends even got out her iPhone and was like, see, here’s pictures of her when she was fat.” (01:19–02:23)

Friends’ Possible Motives: Pride vs. Competition (02:37–05:04)

• Debate on Motives:
  • Paige is unsure—is it support, pride, or jealousy? Is this “alpha dogging,” where friends attempt to reassert dominance by referencing her old look?
  • Bert reframes the question, encouraging Paige to distinguish between her friends boasting out of pride or undermining her.
  • Bert: “You should bring it up… go, 'When you guys bring that up, it really bugs me because I don't want to be known as the fat girl who got skinny. I want to just be known as me.'” (03:50–04:24)
  • Jen suggests, “To me, it seems like they’re bragging for you… There is such a big difference between before and after… If they've always been thin, they don't understand the struggle.” (04:24–04:45)

Callers’ Perspectives: Personal Experience and Gender Dynamics (04:45–05:58)

• Daniel’s Call-In:
  • Daniel shares his similar experience: after losing 55 pounds during college, his fraternity brothers did the same thing to him, often in mixed company, to subtly assert their continued status.
  • Daniel: “I lost about 55 pounds… and I had fraternity brothers alpha dogging me the whole time. So I really do think that's what those girls are doing.” (04:50–05:10)

Tone and Intent: Humiliation vs. Conversation Piece (06:27–07:41)

• Is it Always Malicious?
  • Paige: “I mean, yeah, okay, so I used to be fat, but, like, we all used to be a lot of things… I’m not telling their… remember that time you got drunk next to a dumpster?... because it’s not pertinent.” (06:06–06:27)
  • Wendy relates with her own experience going through illness. She had to ask friends not to keep bringing it up, as she wanted to “live a normal life.” (06:42–07:07)
  • Jen frames it as a “fascinating topic” friends can’t let go—much like a quirky or remarkable story.
    • “It's the same thing with somebody losing 65 pounds and totally transforming who they are… it's a point of interest.” (07:07–07:32)
  • Both agree, friends may simply find Paige’s story compelling or inspiring, even if it’s uncomfortable for her.

Dynamics Within the Friend Group (07:43–08:24)

• Are They Jealous or Proud?
  • Caller Mel asks if Paige’s friends are thinner or larger than her. Paige says they’re now about equal in size, but previously she’d been the heavy one. (07:57–08:04)
  • Mel: “I think they're just proud and excited for you… because if they were heavier, I would think they were a little more jealous about the fact…” (08:08–08:24)
  • Jim offers: “I have a friend who lost a lot of weight. And I would never even think of that being the first thing… Hey, this is my friend and this is a picture of her and she just lost a lot of weight… not the first thing out of my mouth.” (08:24–08:44)

Communication Strategies & Advice (08:54–11:42)

• How Should Paige Address Her Friends?
  • Discussion about whether it’s the first thing the friends say, or if it emerges more organically. Paige clarifies that it’s not always immediate, but it reliably comes up. (09:02–09:39)
  • Advice solidifies: Paige should communicate that the subject bothers her—directly, but kindly.
  • Mel (caller): “If they're your good friends, tell them exactly how you feel… they're going to respect you… screw what everybody else thinks.” (09:54–10:54)
  • Wendy: “Speak honestly how you feel.” (11:25)
  • Bert (humorously): “Give your friends cheese dip. Olay.” (11:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Paige on Frustration:
  • “I don’t want to be known as the fat girl who got skinny. I want to just be known as me.” (03:50–04:24, via Bert paraphrasing the advice)
• On What We Share:
  • “I’m not telling their… ‘Hey, remember that time you got drunk next to a dumpster?’… It’s not pertinent.” – Paige (06:06)
• On Fascination vs. Friendship:
  • “It’s a fascinating thing to your friends, correct?… It’s a point of interest.” – Jen (07:07)
• Advice Summed Up:
  • Wendy: “Speak honestly how you feel.” (11:25)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Paige’s Introduction & Dilemma: 01:02–03:29
• Motives: Pride, Competition, or Both? 03:29–05:04
• Callers’ Experiences: 04:45–05:58
• The Role of the Story: 06:27–07:41
• Whose Issue Is It?: 07:43–08:24
• Advice for Paige: 08:54–11:42

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Tone & Takeaways

The Bert Show navigates the conversation with their signature mix of authenticity, humor, and real talk. Listeners hear a blend of empathy, firsthand accounts, and light teasing (“Give your friends cheese dip!”). The consensus: Paige’s feelings are valid, and honest communication—with a dash of self-advocacy—is the healthiest path forward.

In Five Words or Less (11:12–11:42)

• “Your friends are proud of you.”
• “Speak honestly how you feel.”
• “Be honest with your friends.”

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Conclusion

This episode offers both Paige—and listeners—a nuanced look at the messy, well-meaning, and sometimes misguided ways friends respond to our transformations. Whether rooted in pride, rivalry, or simple fascination, how we communicate our boundaries and joys matters as much as the changes themselves. The Bert Show’s advice is simple but sound: have the tough conversation, seek to be known for who you are now, and remember that good friends will listen.

Transcript

[Bert]

Hey everybody.

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[McDonald's Announcer]

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[Host]

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[Bluff]

This is the bird show.

[Host]

Alright, Paige here wants to be on the voice disguiser. Lost a lot of weight recently. Hey, Paige. Good morning.

[Paige]

Good morning.

[Host]

How are you today?

[Paige]

I'm okay. How are you doing?

[Host]

Okay too. So you're okay with the weight loss but your friends, you're having a little problem with that?

[Paige]

Well, of course I'm okay with the weight loss, but my friends are like, I don't. Honestly, I don't know. And that's like why I'm calling today. I can't. I used to be like £200 and I've lost £65. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm totally okay with the weight loss. You know, I'm at my ideal weight and that's really great.

[Jen]

And you've worked hard for that.

[Paige]

I worked really hard. I worked really hard for that. So. Yeah, so I'm really happy about it. But my friends, they're so weird about it and I can't tell what's going on with them. Every time if we meet a new person or they're introducing me to a new boyfriend or whenever there's someone who didn't know me before, they're kind of like, oh, this is paige. She lost 65 pounds. And then one of my girlfriends even got out her iPhone and was like, see, here's pictures of her when she was fat.

[McDonald's Announcer]

No,

[Paige]

I mean, she probably didn't say it just like that, but my God, that's totally what it felt like. I mean, I just don't know if they're doing it because they're like really proud of me and they're really excited for me or.

[Wendy]

That was my first thought

[Paige]

or if they're like, used to be the skinny girls and now they have competition, you know, which is. I mean, I just. I don't know what's going on with them.

[Host]

I see what you're saying. So they're sort of like. You feel like they're almost like alpha dogging you. Like, you look so good right now that when you approach new people, they're showing what you used to look like with all the weight on to sort of put you down.

[Paige]

Yeah, well, I don't know. I mean. And the thing is, I asked him to stop, and I'm like, oh, God, you know, come on. Whatever. And they still do it. So. So, I mean, I don't know if. Yeah, so I don't know if they're doing the alpha dog thing or if they're proud of me, you know, And I want to have a conversation with them, but I don't want to, like, offend them. I mean, I just don't know what their intention is, I guess.

[Bert]

Have you. When you have the conversation with them, are you having a conversation that is jokey or serious? Like. Like, have you said, hey, I have to tell you guys? Or is it like, oh, my God, guys, we don't always have to bring that up and, like, it's an aside. Or is it a.

[Paige]

It's probably more like that.

[Bert]

Yeah, see, I think you have to have, like a.

[Wendy]

They don't know how much it affects you, I guess.

[Bert]

Like, I think you should bring it up when they haven't brought it up, you know, Because I think it's a natural response if somebody just. Human nature, or maybe it's just American nature, whether it's a compliment or when people get attention on themselves, a lot of times, you know, like, the natural reaction is, oh, come on, guys. You know, like, oh, you look really nice today. Oh, no, I don't. You know what I mean? Like, that's a natural response. But if. If you bring it up totally separately when you guys aren't even talking about it and go, hey, can I just tell you guys something? When you guys bring that up, it really bugs me because I don't want to be known as the fat girl who got skinny. I want to just be known as me.

[Jen]

And I don't think that your friends can recognize how much it hurts your feelings, because it does seem to me that they're bragging for you. Like, to me, it seems like they're, like, telling your story. It's really interesting. They're proud of you. Gosh, there is such A big difference between before and after. And if they've always been thin, they don't understand the struggle of having lost that weight.

[Host]

I think Daniel here is going to disagree with you. Hey, Daniel. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Bert]

He's wrong.

[Daniel]

Good morning.

[Host]

Hey, man.

[Jim]

Morning.

[Daniel]

I lost about 55 pounds between my sophomore and junior year of college because I put on a good bit of beer weight the first two years, and I had fraternity brothers alpha dogging me the whole time. So I really do think that that's what those girls are doing.

[Host]

So you think women do the same thing to other women? Like, put them down so they seem more attractive in the group?

[Daniel]

Yeah, I think that's. I think that's exactly what's going on. Because it's kind of like, you know, I've always been skinny, she hasn't. You know, and they're just trying to do that. I think probably more so around the opposite sex, because that's exactly what happened to me. These guys that, you know, have a new date, they're bringing on a date night or a, you know, formal or something like that, and they'd be like, oh, this guy lost, you know, 55 pounds. You should see a picture of him, like, you know, a year ago. And it was. It was really kind of messed up.

[Bert]

I don't disagree that that's why they're doing it. Like, I think that's a backdoor way of saying, hey, I've always been skinny. She used to be fat, now she's skinny, which means she can get. She's got fat tendencies.

[Host]

That's what you're thinking.

[Jim]

They're showing it to guys that they're introducing, like, introducing her to everybody, even other girls. Who brings that as the first piece of information?

[Host]

Paige, is it bothering you more when they're showing it to guys or other women or just in general?

[Paige]

You know, in general. I mean, like, it bothers me when I meet a new guy because I am single, and it's like, I don't know. I mean, yeah, okay, so I used to be fat, but, like, we all used to be a lot of things, you know, I don't be like. I mean, I'm not telling their. Hey, remember that time you got drunk next to a dumpster? You know, I don't bring that up when they meet someone new because it's not pertinent.

[Host]

Same thing happens to me. My friends will always break out the pictures of when I was tall and now I'm short, and they're like, this was ham. When he was 6 2, and now he's 5 4. I'm always uncomfortable about it, Throw it

[Bert]

back at him and go, oh, my God. I know I was fat back when you were a slut. She looked right in the eyes.

[Wendy]

I tend to lean toward what Jen's saying because I remember I had to tell my friends when I was on dialysis, please stop telling people that I'm sick. Because people were trying to let people know. Either they were trying to be protective of me in a club when people were trying to get me a drink when I couldn't drink, or they were proud of the struggle that I was going through and still being out and being active. And my thought was, I don't want to be known for this. I don't want it to always be conversation. I don't want this always to have to come up. I want to kind of live a normal life. And so.

[Jen]

But it's a fascinating thing to your friends, correct? And so it's a topic of conversation. Like, I have a friend who trained her cat to pee on the toilet. It comes up a lot. And I make her pull out her phone and show her pictures of it. If she hated that, I'm sorry. But it's a fascinating topic. It's the same thing with somebody losing 65 pounds and totally transforming who they are or somebody who's on dialysis and, you know, getting a kidney transplant. It's like a point of interest.

[Host]

It makes you. Yeah, it's.

[Jen]

It's an interesting story to share, you know, so. So I think how I would view

[Wendy]

it, I think your friend. I don't think your friends are being manipulative and evil.

[Host]

Here's Mel. Good morning, mel. You're on Q100.

[Mel]

Hi. Good morning, you guys. I'm not sure if this question has been asked already, but are her friends thinner or larger than her?

[Host]

Are your friends thinner or larger than you are that are making you uncomfortable?

[Paige]

I mean, now we're about the same, but they've always been, you know.

[Mel]

Oh, so you've always been like the heavier girl?

[Paige]

Yeah.

[Mel]

Oh, the.

[Host]

Does that change things for you, Mel?

[Wendy]

Did you say Odan?

[Bert]

No, no, no.

[Mel]

I just think that in that I think that they're just proud and excited for you. Because if they were heavier, I would think that they were a little more jealous about the fact, but because of the fact that I think that you have lost so much weight and they are excited because 65 pounds is the last transformation.

[Jim]

I mean, I have a friend who lost a lot of weight And I would never even think of that being the first pie thing like on my phone. That'd be the first thing I introduce somebody. Hey, this is my friend and this is a picture of her and she just lost a lot of weight. This is great. This is my friend.

[Host]

I think I agree with Wendy on this. It's just kind of doing it sort of to make the, the playing field even.

[Jim]

You'd be like, this is my friend. We've known each other for this many years. We went to high school, we played these activities. You don't say, hey, this is my friend who used to be really fat. Now she's really skinny. It's not the first thing out of my mouth.

[Jen]

Is that the way that they're saying it?

[Paige]

I don't, I mean, they're just kind

[Host]

of like one of the first thing. Is that you.

[Paige]

I don't know what I mean. I know how they're saying it, but I don't know what they mean. I don't know.

[Host]

It's like, is it the first thing that they say when they're introducing you? Like if I'm with Jeff and I'm out, I'll say, hey, this is Jeff. We work together. So I'm just sort of defining what our relationship is. Is it the first thing that they are defining about you to a strange. To somebody new?

[Paige]

No, it's not like, hey, this is Paige. She used to be fat. But I mean, it is like in that kind of. I mean like, I get what you're saying. It's not like, hey, this is my co worker. It's like, it's like everyone kind of knows each other and then it comes up in conversation.

[Host]

Here's Ashley. Good morning, Ashley.

[Bert]

And Bert, by the way. You introduced me as we work together and he used to be skinny.

[Host]

I've never said that.

[Bert]

This is Jim. He used to be skinny. Look, here's a picture on my iPhone.

[Host]

I would not lie like that.

[Bert]

14.

[Host]

Hey, Ashley, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Mel]

Hi, good morning.

[Wendy]

Good morning.

[Mel]

I just wanted to say congratulations, girl, on losing so much weight. That's awesome. And I just, you know, ignore them. I think they're. They're jealous. I think that they're probably used to you being the kind of overweight friend and they were getting all the attention and now you are, and I think that's amazing. And you know, if they're your good friends, tell them exactly how you feel. And like I said, if they are your good friends, they're going to listen to you. And they're going to respect you because I come from a really close knit group of friends and we're all there to support each other. And I just think it's amazing that you were able to lose that weight and I commend you on that. And, you know, basically screw what everybody else thinks. I think you did an awesome job. And, you know, regardless, you did great and I'm sure you look amazing, especially if you've lost 65 pounds and you were 200. Wanted to say congratulations and don't let anybody get you down.

[Host]

Thank you.

[Daniel]

Hey.

[Wendy]

I have a feeling that she leaves long voicemails.

[Bert]

Just wants to review what she left.

[Jim]

Just saying.

[Wendy]

Not sure how to end the conversation.

[Jen]

And in short, I would like to say.

[Host]

All right, Paige. So our final advice for Paige here in five words or less.

[Jen]

Oh, do any last your friends are proud a view. That's six. I was trying to do it quickly.

[Host]

View.

[Jen]

View a view.

[Host]

Melissa, five words or less. Your advice for Paige.

[Wendy]

Speak honestly how you feel.

[Paige]

That was a good one.

[Wendy]

Thanks.

[Host]

Wendy's still counting on her fingers.

[Paige]

I know.

[Host]

Jeff.

[Bert]

Give your friends cheese dip. Olay.

[Host]

Be honest with your friends.

[Bert]

Wendy's happy Cinco de Maya.

[Host]

That's what I was about to say. Wendy is incapable of doing this.

[Bert]

Wendy Ting.

[Host]

This is the bird show.

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[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the strawberry watermelon refresher and the mango pineapple refresher with popping boba to crafted sodas like the sprite berry blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Host]

Refreshers contain caffeine.