Vault: Her grandmother doesn't know if she's a citizen.

Summary

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Podcast Summary – The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Her grandmother doesn't know if she's a citizen

Date: June 8, 2026

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Overview

In this engaging and heartfelt episode, The Bert Show dives into one cast member’s very real family dilemma: her 82-year-old grandmother, a British-born woman who’s lived in the United States since childhood, suddenly discovers she lacks documentation proving her US citizenship. The episode unpacks generational differences in staying connected, explores the complexities of US immigration and citizenship law, and features a candid, sometimes humorous, sometimes anxious roundtable. Listeners call in with relevant personal stories and practical advice, turning the show into both a supportive community and a resource on a very personal problem.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Staying Connected Across Generations (01:30–02:29)

• Cast member Jen shares how she and her grandmother maintain contact via weekly emails instead of phone calls due to busy schedules and their shared dislike of long phone conversations.
• Amusing note: Jen’s grandmother types all emails in caps, joking that she's "too lazy" to switch between cases.

The Shocking Email: Facing Documentation Issues (02:32–04:19)

• Jen reads an email from her grandmother:

  “I’m in a bind about getting my driver’s license renewed. They have changed the laws, and you have to have proof of US citizenship. I do not have a thing to prove mine. …What a mess. This may mean that I can’t drive next year, which would be a real bummer. If I’m still alive.” (03:02–04:19)

• Grandmother’s background: Born in England, sent to the US at age 10, lived here since. Only passport was in 1973.
• The new driver's license requirements spark a crisis about not only her ability to drive but her legal status in the only country she has called home for 72 years.

Independence and Identity (04:20–05:32)

• The hosts express concern about both the risk of her losing her license (and thus her independence) and the underlying citizenship issue.
• Jen describes her grandmother’s active lifestyle (recovering furniture, playing poker, swimming, biking) as a point of pride and a symbol of generational strength.
• Quote (Jen):

  “Take her car away and you take away her independence.” (05:12)

Immigration Law: Personal Stories and Realities (05:33–07:15)

• Cast members and callers share anecdotes about documentation issues and their family experiences with immigration, illustrating the maze of US residency and citizenship law.
• Notable exchange about how simply living in the US and paying taxes does not confer citizenship.

Audience Participation and Crowd-Sourced Advice (07:16–09:05)

• Caller Jonas: Suggests using a Social Security number to renew the license online, or presenting a green card at the DMV if available. (07:17–08:04)
• Multiple hosts and callers (including former legal workers and children of immigrants) add that having a Social Security number doesn't guarantee citizenship or rights—residency status is different and more limited.
• Quote (Caller, former legal worker):

  “Just because your grandmother has [a Social Security number] doesn’t necessarily mean she has any rights, per se… you have to speak to a lawyer.” (09:33–10:09)

Real Consequences and Urgency (10:10–12:21)

• Rebecca (Legal Assistant):

  “Because she’s been here for so long doesn’t necessarily mean that you have the right to stay if you don’t have the correct paperwork.” (10:23)

• Callers warn that increasing scrutiny post-1990s means even long-term, elderly residents risk deportation if paperwork is missing.
• The hosts collectively urge Jen to consult an immigration attorney.

Emotional Response & Reflection (12:01–12:23)

• Jen expresses how “scary” this situation is for her and her family, highlighting how documentation status—often taken for granted—can throw a family into crisis overnight.
• She vows to search through family photo albums and genealogy paperwork to help her grandmother.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Jen on her grandmother’s spirit:

  “She doesn’t need anybody to do anything for her… She’s very, very independent.” (04:45–05:12)

• Humorous interjection (regarding age and driving):

  “I’ve got conflicted feelings about this…One less 82-year-old on the road, I gotta say!” (04:33)

• On immigration:

  “You’re considered a permanent resident. Like, you pay taxes, you just can’t vote.” (08:25–08:44, Caller)

• Legal reality check:

  “Just because your grandmother has [a Social Security number], doesn’t necessarily mean she has any rights, per se…” (09:33–10:09)

• Jen’s reaction:

  “That would be insane…It would be awful at 80 years old, having lived here for 72 years.” (10:09–10:12)

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Timeline & Key Segments

• 01:30–02:29 — Jen explains her weekly email tradition with her grandmother
• 02:32–04:19 — Jen reads grandmother’s email revealing her lack of citizenship proof
• 04:20–05:32 — The crew discusses her grandmother’s independence and possible impact of losing her license
• 05:33–07:15 — Discussion about residency, paying taxes, and possible “falling through the cracks”
• 07:16–09:05 — Listener calls with Social Security/green card advice
• 09:06–10:31 — Legal assistant caller warns about the real risks of missing paperwork
• 10:32–12:21 — Additional stories and reflection on the urgent need for documentation and legal help
• 12:22–12:23 — Jen emotionally responds, expressing her determination to help

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Tone & Language

The episode is a classic Bert Show mix of humor, candor, and warmth—deeply personal stories, light-hearted teasing, and real concern mingling as the team and listeners crowd-source both comfort and action plans.

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Takeaway

Through one family’s bureaucratic nightmare, The Bert Show shines a light on the real, sometimes frightening, implications of America’s evolving documentation landscape. The episode reminds listeners that—for many, especially the elderly—the definition of “citizen” is as much about paperwork as it is about belonging, and that sometimes, family and community ingenuity is the only way through.

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Transcript

[A]

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[C]

the bird show my grandmother and I have a weekly email that we usually do back and forth because for a long time we try to get on the phone. But I'm kind of a bad phone person. Like I end up not calling back because I'm like, I don't have an hour to talk. You know, I'm running from here to there, like usually on the phone. To me it's for a very practical purpose to get from one place to the next. Yes, I'll meet you here at this time then. Or you know what I'm saying? Anyway, so for that reason, my grandmother and I were out of touch because I'm just not good at the phone. So we do this weekly email thing where usually right at the beginning of the week, we exchange emails of, like, the things that are going on in our lives or whatever. And that seems to work for us to stay in touch. And she's pretty computer savvy or whatever. Um, well, I got one this morning that has me really freaked out from her. I'm just gonna read it to you guys. And by the way, she types in all caps.

[D]

Oh, she screams at you. Have you told her you can't do that, Grant?

[C]

She says that she's too lazy to do anything else. She doesn't want to do the cap at the beginning of the sentences.

[E]

Well, she should type in all lowercase and be a little more emo.

[C]

That's true. I could tell her that she should do all lowercase, but yeah. She hits caps lock and starts typing away. So it says, hi, Jen. How are things with you? Going great, I hope. I have two major things on my mind. One is about her furniture. She recovers furniture. And so one story is about that, and then the other. The other thing is that next January, I'm in a bind about getting my driver's license renewed. They have changed the laws, and you have to have proof of US Citizenship. I do not have a thing to prove mine. My grandmother's from Britain.

[F]

She was.

[C]

Yeah. My grandmother's British. She's born in England and was shipped over here when she was very young because her mother died when she was 10. And back in those days, men didn't raise kids. So her father sent her here to. To the United States to be raised at a plantation in North Carolina with her great aunts. Really? I didn't know that. Yeah. So she actually was shipped over, like, on the Queen Mary. Like she came on a boat. That's cool. Yeah. So she says, I do not have a thing to prove mine. I got a passport in 1973 to go to England to visit, but I didn't keep it current. She said, I went through the tortures of the damned to get that one. They do not accept an outdated one. Anyway, I'm going to the courthouse next week to see what I can do about all this. What a mess. I'm sure I gave you some papers for. From my dad, which she did, because I'm really interested in the genealogy of my family and keeping those mementos and that kind of thing. So she's given me some of the genealogy books that she's worked on and some of the mementos from her past and from her dad or whatever. So she said, when you have the time, please check and send me a list of what you have, if you have any. So sorry to be such a pain, but I have no idea what they're going to ask me to supply. This may mean that I can't drive next year, which would be a real bummer.

[F]

And.

[C]

And then she puts. If I'm still alive, which she always jokes around about not being here, which is.

[E]

Yeah, that's not funny.

[C]

It's not funny to me. But she's just. That's just the way she is. She just like laughs about it, you know, she doesn't. It's not a serious thing, but she just jokes around about that all the time.

[D]

How old is she now?

[C]

She will be 82 this month, actually. Okay. Oh, boy.

[D]

I've got conflicted feelings about this. Well, I know she's your grandma and everything, but I'm not worried. One less 82 year old on the road, so I gotta say, yeah, I'm

[E]

worried about the citizenship. I'm not worried about the driving. What if they kick her out of the country?

[C]

Exactly my concern. Like, if she stops driving, that would be a bummer because I think that my grandmother is where I get most of my independence from. Like, she doesn't need anybody to do anything for her. She is very, very independent. I mean, she's still recovering furniture and she's 82 years old. Like, she plays poker with her friends like twice a week. She goes swimming. She goes, you know, rides her bike around her, like, senior citizen park. Like, she's got tons of friends.

[D]

She hasn't needed a man since she dated Charlie Chaplin.

[C]

Oh, she. She does not want a man. New, new, new, new, new, new, new, new. Like, that would be a pain in her butt. So she's just fiercely independent. And having her car allows her to go to her Bible study, her poker groups, you know, going to church and that kind of thing and the grocery store and whatever else. Like, take her car away and you take away her independence. So that's.

[E]

How did you get your driver's license, Joanna?

[G]

Well, actually, I was about to say, I do know that there's a new law with the whole. Cause my parents are not citizens, so they have to get their driver's license renewed every year now.

[C]

Which is.

[G]

Which is why my mom is going through the process of becoming a citizen.

[C]

Really?

[G]

So what is her. I thought. So she a resident?

[C]

I have no idea. I never knew that. She didn't have any sort of proof of US Citizenship. Or maybe she's just been here long enough.

[D]

She's just fallen through the system?

[C]

I have no idea. But that's my biggest concern.

[E]

Like, what if they say you're not? Like, has she been paying taxes for 50 years?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely.

[G]

Are you automatically considered a citizen if

[C]

you've been here for that long of a time?

[G]

No. You have to go through the whole process.

[C]

She's 82 and she moved here when

[D]

she was 10, but she never got her citizenship.

[C]

I don't know. She just says that she has no proof of US Citizenship.

[E]

Just another illegal alien living off the resources of the United States of America.

[G]

Not Spanish. So thank you.

[C]

She's British, Jim.

[E]

Her ass back home.

[C]

She's British, though, so they'll put her at the front of the line. Sorry, your parents are going to have to give you the back.

[G]

We're the ones rowing it.

[C]

Crazy. I just got it.

[D]

She's not sure if she's a citizen.

[C]

She sent it last night just before midnight. So it was the first one of the first things that I saw when I woke up this morning and haven't been able to call and talk to her about it yet.

[D]

I would do a ton. If I'm her, I would do a ton of research before I went to go get my driver's license.

[C]

But she is paying taxes, though, so she's still in the system as a citizen if she's paying us taxes.

[G]

So she's got to have it somewhere.

[C]

I got to call my mom. I got to call my dad and be like, what's going on? You know what I mean?

[G]

You can be a resident and pay taxes, so she's got to be a resident of some sort, and she'll just have to keep getting it renewed every year, which will be a pain.

[D]

Here's Jonas. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[H]

Hey, good morning, guys. Love the show.

[D]

Thank you, sir.

[H]

You can either have her renewing online if she has a Social Security number, but if she's a resident, she can have a green card and they will take a green card over the counter if she goes to the DMV as well.

[E]

What if she has neither of those?

[H]

She must have one of those since he'd be here too long. Otherwise she would not be able to be here. So let me think about. Obama's aunt got deported.

[C]

What was the first thing? A Social Security number.

[H]

If she has one of those, she can renew her license online. Go to the dmv.com georgia.com and renew online. Or I believe she has some kind of green card. Or i94, I think that's what they call it. And she can renew in person at the dmv.

[D]

Thank you for calling, Jonas. Appreciate it.

[G]

It's not her Social Security number.

[E]

What if it's a guy named Jose Rodriguez's social?

[C]

I don't know. I mean, I don't know how she's. How she's been able to prove it this far.

[D]

By the way, Jonas, that accent you heard was Spanish.

[C]

Oh, really?

[D]

He was from Spain. Hey, Natasha.

[H]

Good Morning.

[D]

You're on Q100.

[H]

Hi.

[F]

Good morning.

[D]

Good morning.

[F]

I heard you talking about how you didn't know if a person's considered a citizen. They've been here so long. My mom is actually from Germany and she's not a citizen, but she's been here like 27 years. You're considered a permanent resident. Like, you pay taxes, you just can't vote.

[E]

But if she doesn't.

[C]

Oh, she's real Republican.

[E]

Oh, she votes.

[C]

Oh, yeah. She tells me all about it.

[F]

Like, my mom's political, but she can't vote. She just complains.

[E]

So the documentation exists. Like she's not on the voter rolls. Right.

[D]

So there's no chance that they're gonna boot her out. Cause she does have her Social Security number and she is voting.

[C]

Well, she has to have it.

[E]

She had to present. Well, no, because she can present your driver's license to vote.

[C]

Exactly.

[E]

Now, back in the day, you could get a driver's license. Now with the terrorism and the homeland Security and everything, you gotta prove things up one side and down the other. But back in the day, I think you could just come in with a birth certificate and an electric bill.

[D]

Well, now we can. Maybe instead of speculating, we got a lawyer that can help us out here. Hey, Rebecca. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[H]

Oh, hi.

[F]

No, I think she misunderstood. I'm not a lawyer by any means. I worked for some lawyers in immigration law for a slight time, and I wanted to let Jen know that actually it wasn't that hard until about the 1990s to get a Social Security number. That's why the illegal aliens that have been here for over 20 years have one. Okay, so just because your grandmother has one doesn't necessarily mean she has any rights, per se. So you really have to go look through all your papers and speak to a lawyer to get her something that does show that she does, you know, she has her claim to be here. Because if she doesn't, I mean, they have gotten really strict about actually sending out of the country.

[C]

That would be insane.

[G]

It would be awful at 80 years

[C]

old, has lived here for 72 years. Wow.

[D]

So she would have to instantly. She should call an immigration lawyer immediately.

[F]

Yes.

[H]

That's what.

[C]

I can't find papers.

[F]

Depending on the paperwork you have. Because she's been here for so long doesn't necessarily mean that I guess, you know, you have the right to stay if you don't have the correct paperwork.

[E]

We actually have a listener who is a pretty noted immigration attorney, and I'm looking for their information because they would be cool to call to get this answer.

[D]

If you can't find that person, we get Sanjay on. Sanjay. Gupta could answer this.

[C]

He knows everything. But you know why he can't? Because he's on his way to Haiti to save the world.

[D]

Right? That's right. Of course.

[C]

It's just wild. But I think isn't that crazy to think about, like. Yeah, because she's been here so long and she grew up from 10 years old until, you know, until she got married. Well, she went to college and then she says she got her Mrs. Degree in college. Like, she only went for that. But anyway, until she got married, that was in North Carolina. So she has like a Southern slash British accent. It's really strange. It's very.

[D]

What's a cool story?

[C]

Her background.

[D]

I didn't know her history. It's interesting.

[E]

Yeah. She'll be able to tell it from in the suburbs of London.

[C]

No kidding.

[D]

Hey, Anna, good morning. You're on Q100.

[H]

Good morning. I'm listening to you guys on the way to work. And I used to live in Texas, and back until about the 80s, a lot of people from Mexico were coming to the United States to have their babies, and that would let them become a permanent resident. But they quit that because so many illegal people were coming to have their kids to get their residency. Their residency that way.

[E]

Are you still a resident of Texas or are you a resident of the United States States now?

[H]

Well, no, my dad was Cuban, so, you know, that's a little bit different. But no, I was born here in the United States.

[D]

So for you, it really wouldn't matter at this point, Jen, for her. So you. She's really got to do some research here.

[C]

Scary.

[D]

Very scary.

[C]

That was the first thing I read when my eyes opened this morning. I was like, wait a second. Wait. What? What? So obviously today I'm going to be digging through all of those old, like, photo albums and genealogy and paperwork and whatever it is that she's given me to see if anything is in there.

[D]

Definitely. Yeah. Scary, scary.

[C]

Thought the bird show.