The Bert Show – Vault: Her Husband Cheated On Her In Their Bed!

Date: November 19, 2025
Host(s): Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the Bert Show Cast
Guest/Caller: "Cookie" (listener, real name Tracy)

Episode Overview

This episode centers around a listener’s (Tracy, aka “Cookie”) complex and emotionally charged dilemma: her now-husband cheated on her with a woman from their social circle—while they were engaged and Cookie was pregnant, and in their own bed. The episode explores Cookie’s unexpected forgiveness, ongoing social entanglement with the mistress, and her struggle to assert personal boundaries. The cast reacts with candor, frustration, and tough love, bringing out questions of self-worth, friendship, and standing up for oneself.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Cheating Incident & Cookie’s Forgiveness

• Timeline:
  • Cookie was engaged (not yet married) and pregnant when she discovered her fiancé cheating—walking in on them in her own bedroom. (02:20–02:38)
  • The other woman was well-known to Cookie but not a close friend.
• Cookie’s Reaction:
  • She ultimately forgave her fiancé, married him, and rebuilt trust over several months. (04:03–04:43)
  • The affair partner was chased out and their relationship as a couple survived.
• Host Reactions:
  • Bert and the team express disbelief, pressing Cookie on why she continued her relationship and social ties to both her husband and the mistress.

2. The Current Social Situation & Cookie’s Dilemma

• Ongoing Drama:
  • Cookie and the mistress share the same friend group; they see each other regularly at social gatherings.
  • The immediate issue: a Halloween party where Cookie knows the mistress will wear a revealing costume, which makes Cookie uncomfortable—especially post-pregnancy. (05:42–06:11)
• Cookie’s Continued Contact:
  • In a surprising twist, Cookie not only tolerates the mistress in group settings, but regularly talks to her on the phone—sometimes twice a week. (07:47–08:05)
  • She claims to feel sorry for the woman and wants to “keep her enemies closer.” (08:49–09:03)
  • Cookie admits her husband wishes she’d cut contact and doesn’t understand why she won’t.

3. Confrontation and Boundaries

• Hosts’ Tough Love:
  • The cast grows increasingly exasperated by Cookie’s inability to set boundaries.
  • Quotes like “You have every right in the world to tell your husband this woman is not allowed in your general vicinity at all. But you haven’t done that ever” (06:16–06:25, Bert) underscore their frustration.
• Friend Group Loyalty:
  • The hosts argue Cookie’s friends, by accepting the mistress, are not loyal:
    • “If I had a friend who was cheated on, the mistress wouldn’t exist to me anymore ... your friends are choosing the mistress over you. You realize that, right?” (06:51–07:19, Cassie)
• Cookie’s Justifications:
  • She says it’s difficult to banish the mistress because their friend group has grown up together, and the woman is always invited by others. (11:26–11:48)
  • Cookie also feels like being in contact helps her monitor the mistress, claiming, “If I have her out of my life, how am I gonna know if she does it again?” (08:49–08:52)

4. Self-Esteem, “Being a Bitch,” and Female Socialization

• Kristin’s Perspective:
  • Kristin highlights how women often avoid confrontation to not be seen as mean or a “bitch,” arguing that setting boundaries is necessary and healthy:
    • “My thing is about women—they’re afraid to be a bitch...you gotta stand up for yourself.” (09:06–09:31, Kristin)
  • She insists it’s “okay to maintain those boundaries.”
• Emotional Complexity:
  • The hosts point out the emotional labor women put in, muddying the waters instead of making cleaner cuts to toxic relationships.
    • “Our minds are so connected to our hearts...our thought process involves so much emotion...women don’t want to be considered a bitch.” (20:31–21:13, Kristin)
  • The pattern of feeling sorry for the mistress is challenged as unhealthy and unnecessary.
• Final Encouragement:
  • The hosts rally Cookie to value her own well-being and model strength for her child, not remaining in relationships to maintain peace or social circles at her own expense. (18:07–18:19)

5. Practical Advice and Resolution

• Advice Given:
  • The cast universally advises Cookie to cut ties with the mistress entirely—not just for her own sake but for her marriage and emotional health.
    • “You know what the right thing is to do here, but you’re gonna have to muster up some strength.” (19:42, Bert)
    • “This is solved in one conversation with your husband and one conversation with her: ‘I tried to do the right thing...but I’ve never really gotten over this ... We can’t be friends anymore.’” (19:12–19:42, Bert)
• Caveats:
  • The hosts make clear that Cookie can’t pick and choose the boundaries if she continues to welcome the other woman as a friend.
  • Remaining in limbo gives more power to the mistress and diminishes Cookie’s self-esteem in the group.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On taking action:
  • “You have every right in the world to tell your husband this woman is not allowed ... but you haven’t done that ever.” — Bert (06:16)
• On “keeping enemies close”:
  • “I almost feel like if I have her out of my life, though, how am I gonna know if she does it again?” — Cookie (08:49)
  • “That is not going to happen in my life ... You gotta stand up for yourself.” — Kristin (09:06–09:31)
• On friendship and loyalty:
  • “Your friends are choosing the mistress over you. You realize that, right?” — Cassie (07:13)
• On emotional labor:
  • “Our minds are so connected to our hearts ... that’s when we gray the ... or muddy the waters.” — Kristin (20:31)
• On breaking the cycle:
  • “Sometimes it’s okay to be a bitch, ladies. It’s okay.” — Kristin (21:25)
• On confronting the root issue:
  • “You know what the right thing is to do here, but you’re gonna have to muster up some strength.” — Bert (19:42)
• On modeling behavior for children:
  • “What advice would you give your child? What is ... what model do you want your child to see?” — Kristin (18:07)
• Host’s frustration peak:
  • “Burt has just...He just took his headphones off and left. It started walking out of the room. ‘You’re driving me crazy, Cookie. You’re driving me crazy.’” — (06:11)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Cheating revealed, early relationship specifics: 02:20–03:08
• Hosts learn Cookie stayed with her fiancé: 04:03–04:43
• Cookie reveals ongoing friendship with mistress: 07:47–08:05
• Hosts challenge Cookie’s choices, demand boundaries: 06:11–09:31
• Kristin’s “women and boundaries” speech: 09:06–09:31 (also 20:31–21:25)
• Advice on ending friendship and closing the issue: 18:01–19:42

Summary & Takeaways

This episode exemplifies The Bert Show’s trademark blend of humor, candor, and heartfelt advice, while tackling the messy realities of relationships and self-worth. Through Cookie’s call, the episode confronts uncomfortable questions:

• Why do we maintain relationships that hurt us?
• Is forgiveness about the other person or ourselves?
• Where should boundaries be drawn—especially when social circles are tangled?

The hosts push Cookie (and listeners) to recognize their agency, set healthy boundaries, and choose self-respect, even if it means being labeled “a bitch.” They also spotlight the importance—and challenges—of modeling strong behavior for future generations, underscoring that loyalty should not come at the cost of personal integrity or happiness.