Vault: Her Husband Wants To Attend His Ex's Wedding?

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Her Husband Wants To Attend His Ex's Wedding?

Aired: February 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Monica calls in to share a dilemma: her husband wants to attend his ex-girlfriend's wedding, and Monica is uncomfortable with it due to the couple's history—including secret meetings and ongoing contact. The cast debates the situation, weighing in with personal experiences, listener calls, and pointed advice, creating a lively, candid, and sometimes humorous discussion about boundaries, trust, and priorities in marriage.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Monica’s Story & Relationship History

• Monica (voice disguised) explains her husband wants to attend the wedding of his ex-girlfriend, whom he dated for over three years.
• She reveals she was his next relationship, causing some to joke about her being the "rebound."
• Monica shares that while engaged (not just dating), her husband secretly met with his ex, scheduling lunches without Monica’s knowledge. She only found out by happenstance when answering his phone.
  • Quote: “I answered his phone one day and then like the past phone call, there was a phone call from her and I was like, oh God.” — Monica (03:00)
• Monica also suspects her mother-in-law wishes he had married the ex instead.

2. Ongoing Relationship with the Ex

• Her husband and his ex are still in contact, primarily through email, allegedly as "just friends."
• The ex’s "save the date" wedding magnet is on their refrigerator—another sensitive point for Monica.
• Monica has voiced repeatedly that she doesn’t want her husband to have contact with this ex.

3. Cast's Immediate Reactions

• The cast generally agrees Monica’s discomfort is justified, especially given the secret meetings during their engagement.
• Host Bert notes that sneaking around changes the situation entirely:
  • Quote: "If there wasn't this history... I would say just get over it... However, because he has all of this past history with her and all this going behind your back stuff, that does change things.” — Bert (04:18)
• Co-host Courtney expresses a conservative view:
  • Quote: “Why does an ex have to be that important to somebody? If your partner's threatened by this ex, then why is it so important for you to keep him in your life?” (05:00)
• The team highlights the lack of friendship between Monica and the ex, adding to the concern.

4. Listener Calls & Additional Perspectives

• Ashley (listener) suggests it should be okay if both partners are secure and emphasizes trust, but admits exes can create complex situations (07:22–08:15).
• Another caller, Ashley (later in the segment), notes:
  • Quote: “The person he should be most concerned about respecting and honoring is you.” (11:06)

5. The Priority Debate: Marriage vs. Friendship with Ex

• The cast discusses if it’s reasonable—or even fair—to expect exes to be cut off after marriage.
• Monica shares her philosophy: “When you get married, the exes go away.” (08:42).
• When Monica has asked her husband to end the friendship, he dismisses her concerns as “stupid or jealous.” (08:53)

6. Compromise and Respect in Relationships

• The cast debates whether Monica is being “petty,” as her husband claims, or if he is being disrespectful.
• Co-host Jenna offers a compromise strategy:
  • Quote: “Sometimes one person has to completely sacrifice over another… this is one of those things… and this is what I want you to do.” (09:11)
• The consensus among the cast leans toward: regardless of whether Monica's concerns are “rational,” her husband should prioritize her comfort.

7. Trust, Firm Boundaries, and “Picking Sides”

• Host Bert: “He is essentially picking the friend over you is exactly what he's doing. And that is dangerous.” (12:32)
• Co-host Dave challenges Monica to be firmer: “I don't think you've been firm enough on how you feel...he will if you keep pushing back that boundary.” (12:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert: “If there wasn't this history...I would say just get over it...However, because he has all of this past history…and going behind your back stuff, that does change things.” (04:18)
• Courtney: “Why does an ex have to be that important to somebody? If your partner's threatened by this ex, then why is it so important for you to keep him in your life?” (05:00)
• Jenna: “When you're an ex, you're an exact.” (07:18)
• Ashley (caller): “The person he should be most concerned about respecting and honoring is you.” (11:06)
• Bert: "He is essentially picking the friend over you and that is dangerous." (12:32)

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Major Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:31 | Monica introduced (caller, issue explained) | | 02:09 | Monica shares secret meetups while engaged | | 03:37 | Monica describes ongoing arguments about the ex | | 04:18 | Bert lays out two perspectives on exes and trust | | 05:00 | Courtney on priority and emotional investment in exes | | 06:03 | Cast jokes about uncomfortable wedding scenarios | | 07:02 | Bert relates his own past with an ex, and how he ultimately cut contact | | 07:22–08:15| Listener Ashley: Insight on trust and priorities | | 08:42 | Monica says: "When you get married, the exes go away." | | 09:11 | Jenna’s compromise strategy discussion | | 11:06 | Ashley (caller) emphasizes spousal priority | | 12:32 | Bert: "He is essentially picking the friend over you..." |

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Summary & Listener Takeaways

• This episode explores the messy reality of maintaining friendships with exes after marriage, the boundaries necessary for trust, and the importance of respecting a spouse's feelings—even if they seem irrational.
• The consensus among the show’s hosts and most callers is that Monica’s husband is prioritizing his friendship with his ex over Monica’s comfort and boundaries, which is a red flag for the relationship.
• Co-hosts stress that, while compromise has a place, core issues like trust and respect can’t be ignored—especially when history includes dishonesty.
• The final advice is split: some believe Monica should stand her ground and insist on new boundaries, others suggest she attend the wedding if he insists, but no one supports the idea of him going alone.
• Courtney: “Either he doesn't go to the wedding, or you go with him. Like, I don't think that you need to let him go out of town and be around her with alcohol alone.” (13:01)

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Overall Tone: Honest, lively, slightly irreverent, with a mix of humor and empathy typical of The Bert Show’s morning style.
For listeners: A thoughtful, spirited debate on a real relationship quandary with practical insights on boundaries, priorities, and partnership.

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Transcript

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[Host Bert]

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[Host Bert]

Monica is now on the voice disguiser. Good morning, Monica. Good morning. How are you?

[Caller Monica]

I'm good.

[Host Bert]

All right, so your husband wants to go to the wedding of an ex boyfriend. This is your husband or ex girlfriend. And this is your husband?

[Caller Monica]

Yes.

[Co-host Courtney]

Okay, okay. What's the history?

[Caller Monica]

He was like the ex girlfriend, the one he was in love with.

[Host Bert]

How long did they date for?

[Caller Monica]

3 plus years.

[Host Bert]

And then right after them, you came along.

[Co-host Jenna]

Yes. Okay, so you're the rebound that just happened to snag her.

[Caller Monica]

Oh, God, don't say that.

[Co-host Courtney]

But she came first. That always is threatening. So now have you guys already argued about this woman?

[Caller Monica]

Yes, many times.

[Host Bert]

Why? Why you're married to this guy?

[Caller Monica]

Well, there was a lot of, like, there was a lot of drama before we got married with her. Like he would go and See her while we were dating and wouldn't tell me about it. And I think his mother secretly wanted him to marry her, not me.

[Co-host Courtney]

Oh, so he went to see her and didn't tell you? Is that what you just said?

[Host Bert]

Yes, that does change things. That changes things a little bit. And this was before the two of you got married?

[Caller Monica]

But we were engaged.

[Host Bert]

You were engaged and he went. Now is this sort of like he goes back home just to visit the family and she still lived in the same hometown and he ran into her or this was scheduled. I'll meet you at lunch. TGI Fridays, one o'. Clock.

[Caller Monica]

Scheduled.

[Co-host Courtney]

This was scheduled and didn't tell you about it? How did you find out?

[Caller Monica]

I answered his phone one day and then like the past phone call, there was a phone call from her and I was like, oh, God.

[Host Bert]

Oh, damn. That does change things a little bit. I gotta tell you. At first I thought you were just.

[Co-host Jenna]

Sketching out, but what's most telling there? The mom intervention?

[Host Bert]

No, it's the going behind.

[Caller Monica]

I'm sorry.

[Co-host Jenna]

Oh, going behind the back.

[Host Bert]

Going behind the back and having.

[Caller Monica]

Yeah, going behind the back.

[Co-host Dave]

How long ago was that?

[Caller Monica]

Well, we've been married four years, so there's been like a seven year gap.

[Co-host Dave]

And what is the last time you all had an argument about this woman before the wedding came up?

[Caller Monica]

That was pretty much the only thing when he was like, okay, so let's schedule going to her wedding. And I'm like, no, not going.

[Host Bert]

Did you answer this? How often does he talk to her now?

[Caller Monica]

Well, they still email each other.

[Co-host Courtney]

They do.

[Caller Monica]

Why? Because they're friends.

[Co-host Courtney]

So did. Did the invitation for her wedding come in the mail or did he just inform you about it?

[Caller Monica]

Oh, no. The Save the date magnet is on our refrigerator.

[Co-host Jenna]

Oh, wow.

[Co-host Courtney]

So when you tell, I mean, obviously if you've had fights, you've told him that you don't really care to hear about her and have any contact with her. What does he say? What's his response?

[Caller Monica]

His response is that, like, I should just be cool with this and that they're just friends and like, this shouldn't be a big deal.

[Host Bert]

I got two thoughts on it. Let me run them both by you here real quick. I got two sides of it. If there wasn't this history that he had where he went behind your back to visit her twice without telling you, I would say just get over it. It's your own insecurity. And if he wants to go, this is your problem, not his problem. However, because he has all of this past History with her and all this going behind your back stuff that does change things. And the fact that he's really not a friend of the family. She. I mean, she's not a friend of the family. She's a friend of his. And he has sort of, I don't know, sequestered you from their relationship. I could understand why you'd be a little bit bummed out about this.

[Co-host Dave]

Absolutely.

[Co-host Courtney]

I mean, I have a lot more conservative view about exes than others. And, I mean, I just. I think that. I don't understand why you put the energy, especially now, if you both are fine with it. But if somebody has an issue with an ex, I do think that's wasted energy and wasted fights. Like, why. Why does an ex have to be that important to somebody? If you're. If your partner's threatened by this ex, then why is it so important for you to keep him in your life? So I do have that view, but especially that he has lied to you about her, then I have a huge problem with it. I don't understand. I don't understand why he has allowed her to remain this important even though.

[Host Bert]

It was seven years ago they had all this nonsense.

[Co-host Courtney]

Well, I mean, he knows he's, to me, responsible for all this, and he knows how she feels about it, and he knows how threatened she is about it. And to just callously say, well, let's schedule time to go to her wedding. I mean, he doesn't seem to be very sensitive to her about this, if it's that important to him.

[Co-host Dave]

Have you ever spoken to her?

[Caller Monica]

No, I haven't.

[Co-host Dave]

So she's not friends with you at all?

[Caller Monica]

No, we are not friends.

[Host Bert]

Some ain't right, some ain't right. But all the advice is coming in. He's saying the same.

[Co-host Dave]

Do you think he's gonna cry at her wedding? I mean, do you think he's gonna be upset that she's marrying someone else?

[Caller Monica]

God, I hope not.

[Co-host Jenna]

Cause you know what the. You know what you're gonna have to deal with at the wedding is you're gonna have to deal with him some point telling her how beautiful she looks. Yes, you're gonna have to.

[Caller Monica]

Oh, my God, you're so beautiful on your wedding day. And, oh, he's so nice.

[Co-host Dave]

You're gonna vomit.

[Co-host Jenna]

That right there is reason alone not to.

[Co-host Courtney]

But I wouldn't let him go by himself.

[Co-host Jenna]

Totally.

[Caller Monica]

No, because then it's like I'm the wife that didn't show up.

[Co-host Courtney]

Well, he's just alone there.

[Host Bert]

I sort of had the same thing Going on with this girl named Jay Marciano for a while. This was a girlfriend of mine back in California back in the day, man. I mean, crazy back in the day. And then every now and then when I would go to visit San Diego, I would hook up with her and say, hey, this is way before Stacy. Right. And then after Stacey and I got married, we still communicated with each other a little bit. Like, I might have seen her in California once or twice. But then cards started coming to the house just for me and not for Stacy. Oh, yeah.

[Co-host Dave]

And that's when you and Stacy were.

[Host Bert]

Living together, and that's when. Yeah, I think we were married after that.

[Co-host Courtney]

Party foul.

[Host Bert]

And at that point, I had to cut it off with Jay, which sucks. Cause she was a solid friend.

[Co-host Dave]

But when she's an ex, she's already.

[Host Bert]

She's an ex, she's labeled.

[Co-host Courtney]

When she's an ex, she's an ex. You can't. I can't. You can't go back.

[Co-host Jenna]

When you're an ex, you're an exact.

[Host Bert]

Hey, Jenna, you're on Q100.

[Caller Ashley]

I think it is okay for him to go because he is married to her. Okay. So that it means that he loves her. And if this ex girlfriend is getting married, she obviously loves someone else. So I don't think there should be any conflict between it.

[Host Bert]

Good morning, Courtney. You're on Q100.

[Co-host Jenna]

You're right.

[Caller Monica]

Yes.

[Caller Ashley]

I wanted to say that I'm married right now and had to deal with my husband's ex wife. And it totally put a burden on us. And the fact that he went and seen her, I think is behind her back is horrible. And I also think that if he wants to go, she needs to let him go by himself. She doesn't need to support him in going, because if she supports him, he's going to think it's okay that he does continue to sneer her or talk to her.

[Co-host Dave]

I mean, have you given him an ultimatum? Stop talking to her? Or have you said, here's my line in the sand. No more of this friendship? Have you asked him for that?

[Co-host Courtney]

Say that again.

[Co-host Jenna]

What's that?

[Caller Monica]

The ultimatum never works. Like when you tell someone to stop doing something, they just want to do it more, or they're just, like, confrontational?

[Co-host Dave]

You're avoiding the question. Have you told your husband you don't want him to be friends with her anymore?

[Caller Monica]

Yes, yes, I have said that many times. Like, I'm not friends with any of my guy exes. Like, my thing was, is when you get married, the exes go away.

[Co-host Courtney]

I just said so.

[Co-host Dave]

What does he say when you say, I don't want you to be friends with her anymore?

[Caller Monica]

He just says that I'm being stupid or jealous and that it's no big deal, that they're just friends.

[Co-host Jenna]

But Bert's theory, like what would. If you use Bert's argument that even if you are being stupid and petty, if it is an important, what do you call them? Like a pillar or.

[Co-host Courtney]

An important.

[Host Bert]

It's more important to one person than the other.

[Co-host Jenna]

Yeah. In terms of compromise, sometimes one person has to completely sacrifice over another. So in this case, you can go to him and say, this is one of those things, that maybe I am overreacting. But I'm telling you that this is the way I feel and this is what I want you to do.

[Co-host Courtney]

If you feel threatened, would he do that? Yeah.

[Co-host Jenna]

Like you can go to him. You acknowledge that what you're saying might be out of line. Even though I don't think any of us in the studio think it is. But I think you can go to him and say, look, you may find this out of line, but I'm telling you, you and I are married. You're my husband. I'm asking you to support me on this. Even though it's crazy. You think it's crazy, Even though it's nuts, don't see her anymore. What would he say?

[Caller Monica]

He would probably say that I'm being petty and jealous and that.

[Co-host Jenna]

And you acknowledge that and you go, yep, maybe I am.

[Caller Monica]

He's still gonna go, well, then it doesn't matter. I'm gonna still be friends with her anyways. Probably still go to the wedding.

[Host Bert]

So he picked energy. He would pick that friendship over your marriage?

[Caller Monica]

Yeah, I mean, he's obviously picked it before because he's still friends with her, still emails her and you know something?

[Host Bert]

Not right there. Ashley, you're on Q100.

[Caller Monica]

Hello.

[Caller Ashley]

I love you guys. Just so I can share that. But I totally understand how she feels and how he feels also. My very best friend is an ex boyfriend from about five years ago. He was my first. A huge deal. But I just started seeing somebody. I can see it getting serious and that's a huge concern for me. So they have yet to forge a friendship. They haven't even met. And out of respect for the relationship, I don't know how he'll feel about it. So I can totally understand him being torn between this best friend and, you know, things feeling like this is a seven year, three year friendship. Yet I am now married. So Unless he can manage to include you as his wife and make sure that you all forge a friendship where you have a comfort level with her.

[Caller Monica]

That's just.

[Caller Ashley]

It's. You are his wife, his first alliance, and his. The person he should be most concerned about respecting and honoring is you.

[Co-host Courtney]

Yeah, I totally agree. Your wife or husband or boyfriend or girlfriend is your priority. You know, and I think that an ex is in a different category, because maybe I'm wrong, but the way I feel is your partner is much more likely to fall in bed with an example than a stranger.

[Host Bert]

Well, not on their wedding day, but.

[Co-host Courtney]

I'm just saying, in general, I think so many people defend being best friends. She just said, I'm best friends with my ex, who was my first, and it was a big deal, but da, da, da. So she has. So she has placed him in such this big role that anybody that comes after him, that has to hear that is going to be threatened or be second best to him when the person you're with now and your future should be your priority and not your past. And so I just think that he's being so disrespectful to her about this woman. And I don't know. I just think that. I just think that. I don't know, it may be something more than just. I just want to be good friends with her. I think he still has feelings for her.

[Host Bert]

Did you say that she lives here in Atlanta?

[Caller Monica]

No, no, no. She lives out of state.

[Host Bert]

Out of state. Okay, so you have to fly.

[Co-host Jenna]

So not only is he going to the wedding, but he's spending money. Obviously it involves a hotel room. Unless he's staying in the honeymoon suite.

[Caller Monica]

Okay, don't say that.

[Co-host Jenna]

But, I mean, so now he's spending family money to do all this stuff that you don't want to.

[Host Bert]

Yeah, he. He is essentially picking the friend over you is exactly what he's doing. And that is dangerous. Yep.

[Caller Monica]

And I don't.

[Co-host Dave]

I don't think you've been firm enough on how you feel about this whole situation because you just assume he's just going to keep doing it anyway. But he will if you keep pushing back that boundary.

[Host Bert]

So there is really no final, like, consensus on exactly what to do, but it sure sounds like the theme is he's picking her over you.

[Co-host Courtney]

Yeah. Either he doesn't go to the wedding, or you go with him. Like, I don't think that you need to let him go out of town and be around her with alcohol alone. The Birch Show Weight Watchers now offers access to affordable GLP1s.

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