The Bert Show – Vault: Her Massage Took A Turn For The Worse!

Release Date: January 14, 2026
Podcast Host: Bert
Co-hosts: Melissa, Raj, Jessica
Episode Summary by Pionaire Podcasting

Episode Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show dives into the uncomfortable and eye-opening topic of questionable—and at times inappropriate—behavior by massage therapists, spurred by a disturbing experience shared by Melissa’s friend. The cast candidly discusses what’s normal and what crosses the line during massages, sharing personal stories and inviting listener calls, including a revealing (and unsettling) account from an anonymous massage therapist. The tone is trademark Bert Show: real, raw, funny, and disarmingly honest—yet not shying from serious reflection on consent and boundaries.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Catalyst: Melissa’s Friend’s Bad Massage Experience

• Melissa recounts how her friend, a first-time massage recipient, felt violated during a bridal spa day after her male therapist massaged her breasts for around ten minutes.
  • Melissa (02:58): “She brought up the fact…when he was rubbing my breasts for about 10 minutes…dude, you just got felt up.”
  • Bert (03:34): “That’s more than a feel up.”
• The group immediately recognizes the inappropriateness, with humor mixing with concern.
• Insight: People undergoing their first massage may not know what's normal, leading to confusion and vulnerability.

2. Is It Just Cultural Differences or Crossing a Line?

• Raj shares his experiences getting massages abroad (Costa Rica), finding differences in what’s considered normal.
  • Raj (06:15): “Sure enough, he full on was rubbing my butt. And that doesn't happen here in the States. But…maybe I'm so American.”
• The discussion highlights body region norms and cultural variations, but the group agrees some areas are universally off-limits.

3. Listener Experiences: Consent & Discomfort

• Several female callers share similar stories of questionable masseuse practices from butt massages to even more intimate touching.
  • Evie (09:53): “He gave her a deep massage in the vagina area.”
  • Callers reveal embarrassment and a reluctance to get massages again after such experiences.

4. A Massage Therapist Comes Clean (Voice Disguised)

• A male therapist (“John”) admits on air to intentionally pushing boundaries with “attractive” clients, including massaging areas typically considered inappropriate.
  • John (12:24): “If they're fairly good looking, I will massage their butt, massage their chest…sometimes I'll go a little farther up their leg…”
  • Raj (13:26): “Have you ever gone so far as to touch a woman's hoo hoo?”
    John: “No, no. I get close, but no, not…”
• Ethical Discussion: The show reacts with alarm, questioning therapy school boundaries and the lack of supervision. John insists clients don’t complain and many return, but the cast points out many may just misunderstand what’s ‘normal’ and feel too confused or embarrassed to raise concerns.

5. Comparisons: Male vs. Female Therapists

• Melissa and Jessica share that inappropriate actions are only experienced with male therapists.
  • Melissa (11:04): “Women…I've never had any experience like that with any woman.”
  • Jessica (11:16): “I'm convinced that…when I get massages, it's always with female massage therapists because I'm homophobic.”
• There’s humor about personal anxieties (“Will they notice my mole?”), but an undercurrent of serious concern regarding safe environments.

6. Gray Areas and the Need for Clear Protocols

• The cast debates what’s normal regarding butt massages:
  • Some callers and hosts say butt massages can be therapeutic and normal (with proper draping).
  • Raj (18:34): “So she went under the towel on the butt, full on, working it. Okay, good. So mine was normal.”
• Bert (18:10): “I think there's a really clear line…and I can actually point it out to you. I've seen it in magazines.”
• The gray area: Differences between therapeutic intent, communication, and overstepping boundaries.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Melissa (03:38): “She got violated.”
• Bert (05:05): “While it's going on, she must have some kind of feeling like, this can't be right. Or am I just being...Am I being really American here?”
• Caller/Evie (09:57): “She came out like, I'm never going to get a massage again.”
• John – Massage Therapist (12:24–14:48): A rare, disquieting on-air confession of unprofessional boundary-crossing, based on client attractiveness.
• Co-hosts’ banter, balancing humor and discomfort:
  • Jessica (11:16): “I'm convinced that…when I get massages, it's always with female massage therapists because I'm homophobic.”
  • Jessica (18:59): “…she’s, you know, kneading my ass like it’s a loaf of bread, you know, like she's making dough…”

Main Takeaways

• Clear Consent and Communication Are Essential: Many massage clients, especially first-timers, may feel confused about boundaries—making clear protocols and open communication crucial.
• Inappropriate Touch Is Not 'Normal': Massage therapists’ personal boundaries must align with ethical standards; exploitation of client naiveté is an abuse of trust.
• Therapy Culture Can Vary, But Some Lines Are Universal: Cultural customs may differ, but sexualized or unnecessarily intimate contact is widely considered inappropriate.
• Sexual Misconduct in Wellness Professions: The segment with “John” the therapist exposes an alarming reality; the panel stresses the power imbalance and risk of misconduct in such private, vulnerable settings.
• Women Tend to Trust Female Therapists: Several hosts and callers specifically seek female therapists to avoid such issues.

Noteworthy Timestamps

• 02:02–03:38: Melissa tells the story of her friend’s massage violation.
• 06:12–06:41: Raj shares his own cross-cultural massage experience.
• 09:53–10:01: Caller Evie details her mother’s disturbing Turkish spa encounter.
• 12:16–16:41: Interview with John, the voice-disguised massage therapist admitting to boundary-crossing.
• 17:24–18:44: Discussion of “what’s normal” from client and therapist perspectives; ongoing gray area with butt massages.

Tone & Style

• The episode maintains the playful, irreverent, and honest trademark of The Bert Show, with moments of discomfort acknowledged and softened by humor, but without shying away from larger, serious questions about consent, ethics, and trust in personal wellness services.

For anyone considering or new to massage therapy, or for those uncomfortable with prior experiences, this episode is both a reality check and a starting point for important conversations about boundaries, ethics, and the vital role of communication.