Vault: Her mission is to meet Chelsea Handler

Summary

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The Bert Show – “Vault: Her Mission is to Meet Chelsea Handler”

Release Date: July 6, 2026
Key Hosts and Guests: Bert, Jen (Jen Hobby), Stacy, Ronnie (caller)

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around Jen Hobby’s heartfelt (and humorous) mission: she’s a massive Chelsea Handler fan and is determined to meet the comedian when she visits Atlanta for two shows at the Fox Theatre. The Bert Show team rallies the listener community to help make this dream come true, reminisces about similar celebrity missions from the past, and lays the groundwork for a collective “Chasing Chelsea” adventure.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jen’s Chelsea Handler Obsession and Mission Unveiled

• Jen reveals she’s a “humongous Chelsea Handler fan—huge, love, love, love Chelsea Lately” and outlines her plan to meet Chelsea during her Atlanta tour stop.
• Bert makes it official, encouraging Jen to go forth “confidently, bravely, and using ‘The Secret’.”
  • (01:07) Bert: “You have to go forward confidently. You have to go forward bravely. And you have to use The Secret.”
• Jen’s pitch to listeners is clear: she’s seeking connections, tips, or any help securing her dream encounter.

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2. The Bert Show’s Track Record of Celebrity Missions

• Bert recounts previous listener-powered celebrity connections, such as his own attempt to bond with Jon Bon Jovi (“ended creepily,” moving on!) and Stacy’s U2/Bono hunt, which involved peeking from hotel windows.
  • (02:30) Bert: “That ended creepily. So we won’t discuss that any further. Then we can, though.”
  • Funny banter as Stacy doesn’t recall being scolded for trying to spot Bono.
• Key message: Past successes came from unpredictable listener ingenuity.

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3. Chasing Chelsea: Community Mobilization

• Jen reiterates the call for help: “If you know anyone—your brother’s cousin’s mother’s sister’s daughter—who might work for her or know her... whatever!”
• Bert reveals a possible inside track: Chelsea will do a book signing at Outright Bookstore. Their friend Philip might assist, and a Chelsea interview for the show is in tentative talks.
  • (03:55) Bert: “She is doing a book signing at Outright Bookstore... Tracy’s already been in touch... to see if Chelsea will come on with us...”
• Jen’s dream scenario: “Like, I want to be able to, like, hang out and have a vodka tonic!”
• They joke about Chelsea’s affinity for vodka, adding:
  • (04:41) Jen: “And I say vodka, because I know that that is her favorite. Just straight up, anytime.”

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4. Listener “Ronnie” Steps Up & New Leads

• (04:52) Ronnie calls in, mentioning she’s friends with Sarah Colonna—a Chelsea Lately writer and comedian. Ronnie offers to message Sarah for a potential hookup.
  • Ronnie: “I’m Facebook friends with her, so I could send her a message and tell her what you guys are trying to do…”
  • Jen and the hosts express gratitude and excitement for any help.

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5. Keeping it Fun, Not Creepy

• The Bert Show emphasizes this is about genuine enthusiasm, not stalking.
  • (05:44) Burt: “As much as it sounds like it, it’s not a creepy stalker thing... I was 100% convinced [Jon Bon Jovi] and I would be friends.”
• Stacy highlights The Bert Show’s mutual relationship with its listeners—help goes both ways.
• Jen playfully dreams out loud about instantly clicking with Chelsea:
  • (05:53) Jen: “Yeah. Oh, I'm sure that she and I will be BFFs.”

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6. Launching the Chasing Chelsea Week

• Bert recaps actionable ways listeners can help: email, tweet, offer event details, hotel tips, or any insider knowledge—always with respect.
• Jen stresses she’d like the meeting to be above-board, “not creepy”—ideally arranged, even for just five minutes.
  • (06:24) Jen: “I don’t want to be creepy... even if it’s just five or ten minutes on her calendar... so I can hang and make my pitch for our friendship that’s gonna last forever.”
• Bert’s advice: Keep it natural, have a drink; friendships happen organically.
  • (06:44) Bert: “You can’t look at it as a friendship pitch… you just have to look at it as having a drink together. Friendships happen naturally.”
• (06:54) Show officially kicks off the “Chasing Chelsea” campaign, inviting listeners all week to pitch in and make Jen’s dream come true.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert (01:07): “You have to go forward confidently. You have to go forward bravely. And you have to use the secret.”
• Jen (01:31): “I am a hu-humongous Chelsea Handler fan. Huge love, love, love Chelsea Lately... I just think a fantastic person anyway...”
• Stacy (03:06): “All the guys from the band were, like, hanging out in this lounge... Stacy actually got in one of the windows, like in the windowsill and was looking down...”
• Ronnie (04:52): “I’m Facebook friends with her, so I could send her a message and tell her what you guys are trying to do...”
• Jen (06:24): “I don’t want to be, like, creepy, though. Like, I’d really like to be able to, like, set it up and, like, have an appointment, even if it’s just five or ten minutes...”
• Bert (06:44): “Friendships happen naturally. They don't happen when somebody…”
• Bert (06:54): “Chasing Chelsea is on—it’s all week long. Help Jen Hobby dream of hanging out and becoming friends with Chelsea Handler come true.”

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Important Timestamps

• [01:01] Chasing Chelsea Mission Introduced
• [02:05] Previous Celebrity Missions Recounted
• [03:55] Book Signing/Outright Bookstore Connection Revealed
• [04:52] Listener Ronnie Offers Potential Inside Connection
• [06:24] Jen Emphasizes Respectful Approach
• [06:54] Official “Chasing Chelsea” Campaign Launch

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Summary

This episode delivers a lively, community-driven mission marked by Jen’s earnest fandom, the show’s tradition of audacious celebrity outreach, and the crucial involvement of listeners. Through playful recollections, actionable plans, and memorable one-liners, The Bert Show sets a celebratory, feel-good tone—inviting everyone to help manifest a dream (hopefully over vodka tonics) and cementing the show’s reputation for both connection and fun.

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Transcript

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[Burt]

Hey, Jen, I think we're gonna kick something very cool off in the next 24, 48 hours.

[Jen]

Okay?

[Burt]

This is gonna be something that this is. We've talked about this. You can't feel any pressure. You have to go forward confidently. You have to go forward bravely. And you have to use the secret. Okay, But I think today or tomorrow you start chasing Chelsea.

[Jen]

I know. That's right. I know. I think it should start today.

[Burt]

Okay?

[Jen]

And here is my plea to the listeners of the Birch Show.

[Burt]

Okay?

[Jen]

Okay. I am a hu. Humongous Chelsea Handler fan. Huge love, love, love Chelsea lately. And if you're not familiar with her, she's written books, she's a stand up comedian. She has her own late night talk show. One of the only women in late night. And her show is on E. I think she's hilarious and just, she's just, I just think a fantastic person Anyway, and so she's coming to Atlanta on this coming Sunday. She's got two different shows at the Fox.

[Burt]

She had one and then sold it out so quickly they added an earlier one the same day.

[Jen]

Exactly. And so my mission is to be able to meet her while she's here. I can't do that on my own. So I need your help.

[Burt]

Now, you remember this started, I think, years and years ago when Jon Bon Jovi came to town with Bon Jovi and I, during our interview with him, asked him if we could just have kind of a mandate. Have a beer. Right. Everything.

[Stacy]

Right.

[Jen]

That was before.

[Stacy]

That was before the.

[Burt]

That ended. That ended creepily. So we won't discuss that any further. Then we can, though.

[Jen]

We can go into that full story.

[Burt]

I'm good.

[Stacy]

Yeah. Because you have to still stay 50ft away from him.

[Burt]

And then Burt and Stacy are hardcore U2 fans. I think Stacy, especially was the first U2 fan. So they did a hunt for Bono when U2 was in town and actually had a good meeting with him. I think on more than one occasion. There was one point where they told Stacey to get out of the window of a hotel room. Cause she was looking down into the lobby. Do you remember that?

[Stacy]

No, I don't remember that. That's funny.

[Burt]

All the guys from the band were, like, hanging out in this lounge that had windows overlooking it. And Stacy actually got in one of the windows, like in the windowsill and was looking down. And the guys came up, some security guard came up and said, hey.

[Stacy]

Oh, my God. That's funny. I didn't know that.

[Jen]

I didn't hear that.

[Burt]

Yeah, I'm 90% sure he talked about it on the air, I hope.

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Huh.

[Stacy]

Huh.

[Burt]

So, moving right along.

[Jen]

Okay. But, yeah, so. And the listeners helped Bert and Stacy be that accomplished, and they helped you.

[Burt]

And this is what we're doing with chasing Chelsea, right? Yes.

[Jen]

I need your help. So if you know anyone, you know, a brother's cousins, mother, sister's daughter who might work for her or know her or have the inn or whatever. I would just love to be able to hang out with her and meet her. Like, I want to be able to, like, hang out and. And have a vodka tonic.

[Burt]

I've got. I'm giving you something so big right now.

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What?

[Burt]

That I think could be the clincher. Could be great for you. But this is not going to. I don't want this to dissuade anyone else from helping you out, but she is doing a book signing at Outright Bookstore on Sunday afternoon. And Philip from Outright is a good friend of the shows. He's helped us with other things in the past. And Tracy's already been in touch with him to see if Chelsea will come on with us to do an interview promoting that book signing.

[Jen]

Awesome.

[Burt]

And I think last conversation seemed somewhat confident that she would do it. But you never know what her schedule's like.

[Jen]

Because, yeah, if she called us from LA and did like, sort of a, you know, pre interview to promote appearances, whatever, then I could Just ask her. I'd be like, hey, I want to buy you a drink. Let's have a drink together.

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Whatever.

[Burt]

This is why we.

[Jen]

And I say vodka, because I know that that is her favorite. Just straight up, anytime.

[Stacy]

Me. Chelsea.

[Mint Mobile Ad Voice]

Huh?

[Stacy]

I said, are you there, vodka mechanics.

[Jen]

Exactly.

[Burt]

This is the Bird show, listeners stepping up already. Hey, Ronnie.

[Ronnie]

Hey. I was just gonna say that I went to college with Sarah Colonna, and I don't know if you guys are a Chelsea Lately fan. She is one of the writers of the show.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Jen]

Is she Sarah Longboobs?

[Ronnie]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Okay.

[Ronnie]

She's also a panelist every once in a while. She's the one with the really curly hair and she's really funny, and she does some of the Chelsea Lately stand up comedians tours and things. Anyway, I'm Facebook's friends with her, so I could send her a message and tell her what you guys are trying to do and see if she can give you the hookup.

[Jen]

That would be so Ronnie. Thank you.

[Burt]

Anything like that helps.

[Jen]

Anything. Yeah.

[Stacy]

Yes.

[Ronnie]

As soon as I get to work today, I will do that, and then I'll let you guys know as soon as she responds.

[Stacy]

Let's make Jen Hobby's dream come true.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Jen]

That's so cool.

[Burt]

And as much as it sounds like it, it's not a creepy stalker thing. It's a. I think when I went into it with Jon Bon Jovi, I was 100% convinced that he and I would be friends.

[Jen]

Yeah. Oh, I'm sure that she and I will be BFFs.

[Stacy]

Well, this is why this is the Burt show community, because you call us and you write us and ask for help in certain things, and now we're coming to you for help for certain things. It's, you know, it's reciprocal. So we're asking for help for Jen.

[Burt]

So if you think of anything else, if you have any more ideas, email Jen, send her a tweet, whatever you have to do to get in touch with her. Also, if you encounter anyone who's going to have Chelsea interaction while she's in town, just gently nudge her in the direction of. Yeah.

[Jen]

Like, if you happen to know where she's staying, that would be a good clue. You know, I don't want to be, like, creepy, though. Like, I'd really like to be able to, like, set it up and, like, have an appointment, even if it's just like five or ten minutes on her calendar, somewhere that I can go and try to hang and make my pitch for our friendship. That's gonna last forever.

[Burt]

You can't look at it as a friendship pitch though. You just have to look at it as having a drink together. Cause friendships happen naturally.

[Jen]

That's true.

[Burt]

They don't happy when somebody I think

[Jen]

she would really really like me.

[Burt]

So if you work at a hotel where Jen could get a job as a room service attendant for only one day. So we will start it officially right now. Chasing Chelsea is on it's all week long. Help Jen Hob dream of hanging out and becoming friends with Chelsea Handler come true. Thank you in advance for making dreams come true.

[Jen]

Thank you.

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