The Bert Show – Vault: He's Married But Thinks His Soulmate Is Another Woman!
Release Date: February 18, 2026
Episode Overview
This episode dives into a real-life listener dilemma involving complex relationship boundaries, secrets between friends and spouses, and the moral quandaries that follow. The crew discusses a situation where a married man believes his "soulmate" is another woman—who is also married—and the ethical fallout when this secret stirs up an interconnected group of friends. The show serves up insight, empathy, and humor as the cast weighs in and fields listener calls.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Setup: Meeting the Couples (01:36–03:37)
- Jessica recounts a recent trip to a busy bar where she and her companion, Jessica, end up sharing a six-person table with two couples.
- Jessica describes couple #1 (whom they only slightly know) and couple #2 (whom they just met).
- The group bonds quickly, but an unexpected confession changes the night’s tone.
"So we end up in this conversation. And she explains that some number of months ago, the husband number one...confesses that he is miserable in his marriage...and then continues on and says that he thinks that she, the girl he's talking to, is his soulmate."
— Jessica [03:37–04:18]
2. The Secret Confession (03:37–05:00)
- "Husband number one" confides in "wife number two" (from couple #2) about his marital misery and claims she's his soulmate.
- "Wife number two" rebuffs his advances, insists she's happily married, but husband #1 escalates: texts, notes, and eventually tries to kiss her.
"Happily married. This is not gonna happen. Stop. Screech breaks and it goes away. She never tells her husband about it."
— Jessica [05:00–05:17]
3. Escalation and Complications (05:17–07:15)
- The advances cease after she rejects his kiss. However, several months later, husband #1 resumes, even intensifying his pursuit.
- Meanwhile, her own husband and the persistent suitor have, ironically, become close friends—prompting deeper layers of betrayal.
"In the course of that whole time, her husband and him...have become great friends. So now they're friends because husband number one's trying to figure out as many ways as he can to hang out with wife number two. He's manipulating her husband."
— Co-host 1 [06:03–06:25]
4. The Dilemma: To Tell or Not to Tell? (07:15–08:42)
- "Wife number two" fears the fallout of telling her husband everything, especially since he’s now friends with the other man. She solicits advice from Jessica and the Bert Show cast.
- The consensus: There’s no painless way out.
"There is no good way out. So the only way out is to be totally honest and take the heat. Because it's either be honest and take the heat or lie and eventually take the heat. I'd rather be honest."
— Co-host 2 [07:53–08:07]
- They weigh the implications of delayed honesty, with the understanding that hiding or lying only deepens potential consequences.
5. Listener Reactions & Judgment (08:42–10:44)
- The crew opens the lines for listener calls.
- Callers and co-hosts debate whether "wife number two" liked the attention. Some suggest she enabled the situation by continuing to socialize with her suitor.
"She wanted the attention. She liked the attention. That's why she kept hanging out with him."
— Caller [10:23–10:33]
- Jessica and the cast push back, questioning the fairness of that assessment—would it seem suspicious if someone avoided group activities out of the blue?
“How do you say that, though? Like, how do you say you can't be friends?”
— Jessica [10:48–10:51]
6. No Win, Only Honesty (11:07–11:51)
- The hosts highlight the lose-lose nature of the dilemma, reinforcing honesty as the best of bad options.
- They speculate about whether the wife asserted boundaries forcefully enough and the husband’s questionable tactics.
"It's either one of two things. Either she likes the attention and that's why she kind of lingers it around, or she's one of those women that just doesn't want to be rude and just doesn't know how to handle the situation..."
— Co-host 1 [11:07–11:18]
- The team wraps up by acknowledging the dramatic messiness, joking about needing closure and using such stories as "radio material."
“This is a couple that you need to stay...Every time you take them out, dude, write it off.”
— Co-host 2 [11:51–12:09]
Memorable Quotes & Moments
-
On the intensity of the secret:
"The only thing I can think is that this had been in her head for hours or days or weeks or however long. And it was about her head was literally about to split open and explode...if she didn't release the pressure."
— Jessica [02:12–03:02] -
On the inevitability of consequences:
"Either be honest and take the heat or lie and eventually take the heat."
— Co-host 2 [07:56–08:00] -
On the impossibility of an easy solution:
"It's a zero win situation."
— Jessica [11:32–11:34]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 01:36–03:37 — Introduction to the bar encounter and how the group came together.
- 03:37–05:00 — Wife #2 recounts husband #1’s soulmate confession.
- 05:00–07:15 — Escalation: the pursuit continues, new friendships complicate matters.
- 07:15–08:42 — The moral dilemma: tell the truth or keep the secret?
- 08:42–10:44 — Host discussion and listener calls, debate on motives and blame.
- 11:07–11:51 — Final reflections; "no win" advice and closing thoughts.
Tone & Delivery
The episode maintains a warm, humorous, conversational vibe. The cast approaches sensitive, awkward subjects with earnest empathy, yet isn’t afraid to joke about the messiness of real-life relationships. Listeners are encouraged to engage, and the overall style is breezy and relatable.
Takeaways
- Secrets and delayed honesty can escalate complications—telling the truth earlier is often less damaging.
- Manipulation within friendship groups easily entangles multiple parties.
- There’s sometimes no “good” answer—only the least-worst path.
- The show provides both practical advice and comic relief, making even the messiest drama feel approachable.
