Vault: He's Nervous About His First Date In 15 Years

Summary

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The Bert Show: "Vault: He’s Nervous About His First Date In 15 Years"

Episode Date: December 22, 2025
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, & The Bert Show Cast

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and humorous episode, the team follows up with Charlie, a recently divorced father who is going on his first date in 15 years. The segment explores Charlie's nerves and anticipation, the advice he receives from both the hosts and listeners, and a detailed recap of his experience. The conversation provides warmth, comic relief, and genuine support as Charlie navigates the modern dating world after a long hiatus.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Charlie’s Story and Pre-Date Nerves

[01:26-03:41]

• Charlie, 42, recently finalized his divorce after a 12-year marriage and is a father of two.
• A coworker set him up with a woman in her mid-30s.
• He admits feeling "bunched up" and anxious at the prospect of dating again.
  • Charlie: "I feel a little, you know, bunched up about it." [01:29]
• The Bert Show team and listeners offer advice:
  • T.C.: "Just relax and be yourself... Don't dwell on your ex wife." [02:17]
  • Nora: "Let this person know how much a part of your life your kids really are... have that out there from the beginning." [02:45]
• Charlie is reassured about not talking excessively about his ex and instead focusing on who he is now and being upfront about his kids.

2. Lead-Up to the Date: Emotions and Preparation

[03:01-05:00]

• Charlie thanks everyone for their practical advice, particularly about being a gentleman and not forcing things.
• He created a checklist (don’t dwell on ex, bring flowers, be attentive).
  • Charlie: "It was kind of nice to have like a checklist in front of me because it helped me focus... and not be so nervous." [03:41]
• He felt nervous going to another woman’s apartment for the first time and noted the unfamiliarity of it all.

3. Date Recap – From Awkwardness to Connection

[05:23-09:17]

• Brought flowers; the woman invited him into her apartment briefly, which he found both "strange" and "exciting."
  • Charlie: "Just being in another woman's apartment... was really kind of unnerving. At first I thought it was exciting, but... I hope nothing happens right now, because I was really. I was not all, you know..." [05:56]
• They went to her favorite restaurant, where Charlie focused on being attentive and opening doors.
• He candidly admits that moments made him reflect on his marriage:
  • "Maybe if I'm fitting this way all the time with my wife, maybe we wouldn't have those problems." [07:23]
• Discussed his kids openly during dinner; the date was supportive and agreed not to meet his children immediately.
  • Charlie: "I think it's better that I don't meet them right away, that you don't have to introduce me to them..." [08:30]
• Charlie describes the evening as sweet:
  • "It felt like doing it all over again, which was really... just really, really nice." [09:02]

4. Physical Chemistry and Modern Dating Pressures

[09:17-09:53]

• The team probes about physical attraction. Charlie confirms there was mutual interest.
  • Charlie: "Yeah, there really was for me... I think she sensed it too." [09:28]
• A comic interlude: a host quips about “sealing the deal” on second dates and modern dating culture.
  • G: "Nowadays, on the second date's when you got to seal the deal. You know what I mean?" [09:47]
  • The team jests about dating norms and overshares, adding levity.

5. The End of the Night & What’s Next

[10:09-11:24]

• Post-dinner, she invites him up for a drink, but Charlie keeps the night short for his kids’ sake.
• The evening ends with a kiss on the cheek and plans for another date:
  • Charlie: "I gave her a nice kiss on the cheek, asked her if she wanted to go out again, and she said she would." [10:55]
• Hosts celebrate that everything went smoothly.
  • "Most Bert Show stories don't end up on such a great note like this." [11:38]

6. Reflections and Lighthearted Closer

[11:21-12:09]

• Charlie expresses gratitude for the advice and admits the experience was invaluable.
  • Charlie: “Thank you. Thanks for all the help.” [12:08]
• The hosts warn him to “not jack it up” and suggest they're "waiting for the other foot to drop" (jokingly).
• Playful speculation about disaster scenarios (falling for her sister, secret sexuality) provides a comedic end.

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Notable Quotes

• Charlie: "I just feel a little, you know, bunched up about it." [01:29]
• T.C. (listener): “Just relax and be yourself. Don’t dwell on your ex wife.” [02:17]
• Charlie: "It was kind of nice to have like a checklist in front of me because it helped me focus... and not be so nervous about stuff." [03:41]
• Charlie: "Just being in another woman's apartment... was really kind of unnerving... it was exciting, but... I was not all, you know..." [05:56]
• Charlie: “It felt like doing it all over again, which was really, really nice.” [09:02]
• G (host): "Nowadays, on the second date's when you got to seal the deal." [09:47]
• Charlie: “I gave her a nice kiss on the cheek, asked her if she wanted to go out again, and she said she would.” [10:55]
• C (host): “Most Bert Show stories don't end up on such a great note like this.” [11:38]

---

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:26] — Charlie introduces himself and his nerves about dating post-divorce
• [02:17] — Listener T.C.’s core advice
• [03:41] — Charlie talks about preparing for the date with a checklist
• [05:23] — The initial moments in his date’s apartment
• [07:23] — Charlie reflects on lessons from his marriage
• [08:30] — Conversation about introducing dates to kids
• [09:28] — Addressing mutual attraction on the date
• [10:55] — Kiss on the cheek and confirmation of a second date
• [11:38] — Hosts’ celebratory reactions and comic relief

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Episode Tone and Takeaways

• Genuine, supportive, lighthearted, and humorous—the cast creates a warm environment while offering actionable advice.
• The episode is a relatable and heartfelt look at vulnerability, growth, and new beginnings after life-changing events.
• Charlie’s journey serves as both encouragement and reassurance to listeners facing similar circumstances, with the Bert Show’s trademark mix of empathy and wit.

---

Transcript

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[C]

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[B]

But first.

[C]

There, the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

[D]

The Burt Show. So Charlie calls us on Friday a desperate man. This is the first time that he's gonna go out with a woman other than his wife in 12 years. He's a single dad and he had a date over the weekend and he wanted your guys help. Now, if you missed any of this, this is a little bit of the conversation we had with Charlie.

[B]

Well done.

[D]

Hey, Charlie.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Give us the whole history here.

[B]

Well, okay. Well, I'm 42 years old. I've been married for 12 years. My divorce just got finalized six months ago. I have two boys and my coworker set me up with a girl. She's really cute. She's younger. She's a little younger. And it's good and I have good feelings about it, but I just. I feel a little, you know, bunched up about it. I don't. You know, I just.

[D]

Well, you haven't dated anybody else, right? Yeah, sure.

[C]

Now, Charlie, how old? When you say a little younger, how.

[D]

Young is this woman?

[B]

She's not too much younger. She's like 36, 35.

[D]

You got married at 30, is that what you said?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And you were married for 12 years?

[B]

Yep.

[D]

The divorce was just finalized six months ago?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And this is going to be your first date after your divorce?

[B]

Yeah, pretty much. This is it.

[D]

Hey, T.C. you're on with Charlie.

[B]

My best advice to you is just relax and be yourself. You know, don't get. Don't get stressed out about, oh, man, what am I going to do? Just be yourself, man. That's all you can be. That's all you can bring to the table is yourself. And just make sure that you just don't dwell on your ex wife.

[F]

Hey, Nora, don't talk about your like your ex wife a lot, but, you know, let this person know, like how much a part of your life your kids really are. So you have that open and you have that out there from the beginning.

[B]

Right.

[F]

That'll help pick and choose a lot of people that are in your life.

[B]

That's good to hear. That's good to know.

[D]

Okay, man. Good luck, dude.

[C]

Yeah, good luck. Thanks, man.

[D]

All right, see you. Okay, that was Friday on the show. So let's back in with. Check back in with Charlie and find out how the weekend went. Charlie.

[B]

Hey, man.

[D]

First you got to tell us about, like, the hours leading up to the date, because this is. Again, we're kind of trying to put ourselves in your position. You know, I've only been with my wife for 10 years, but I was just thinking how I'm just so used to what she is. I'm so used to the. The way she talks, the way she, you know, she's got a smell about her, the way she feels. And just to be with anybody else for a night would just be so incredibly awkward. And here you are talking about being married to the same woman for 12 years, and now all of a sudden you gotta turn that off and you gotta turn a completely other woman, you know, on, so to speak.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So that must have been pretty nerve wracking leading up to it.

[B]

It really was. You know, I really just want to, you know, thank all the advice that I got. First of all, because it was all really, you know, they said just, you know, just be yourself. You don't have to be something you're not. Don't talk about your wife. You know, the whole. The gentleman thing. Like, I thought maybe there was something dated about that, and everybody was like, no, no, no, be a gentleman. And so it was kind of nice to have like a checklist in front of me because it helped me focus on that and not be so nervous about stuff. You know, the few hours, you know, I still went back and forth with the little things. I finally said, okay, you know, I am going to buy a flower. So I went ahead and I got her flowers because that seemed like the nice, gentlemanly thing to do. And, you know, I just looked over my list, make sure I talk about my wife. But, you know, and when I do, somebody had mentioned. Somebody had called in and mentioned something about, you know, don't refer to her as your wife. You just say the mother of your kids. You know, actually having somebody give me actually good, constructive, practical advice was really good. Helping me on the drive over. It helped me focus, you know, so I didn't have to. I didn't have to get, you know, second guessing every little thing that I You know that you do, because it is. It's really strange. It's very. You're right. You know, I was so used to one person, and the whole idea of going to meet another person and to be in that completely different place was hard. It was really uncomfortable.

[D]

And here you're going into this thing now. You got a checklist. So you've. That's great. So that helped a little bit, knowing that you weren't just going into this thing blind.

[B]

Exactly. It helped me get my mind off of things. I wasn't as nervous. It made me be a little more like myself and not, you know. You know, I have to impress. I have to do the right thing. It really loosened me up a little bit.

[D]

So where'd you end up taking her and what'd you do?

[B]

Well, I brought her the flowers. Really appreciated. She wanted to put the flowers in water before we went. She actually took me inside her apartment, which was so crazy strange to be in, like, another woman's apartment. And we didn't stay there, but, you know, just that ins. That first feeling of being in another woman's apartment was really strange.

[D]

But now let me ask you this here, Charlie. Cause when she invites you up to the apartment, okay, there had to be a small party thinking that, okay, this thing may be going too fast. Were you more nervous than excited? Had she proposed something more intimate when she walked in there?

[B]

You know, I have to be honest with you. I was happy she didn't because I was so nervous about it. Just being in another woman's apartment and, you know, the smell of another woman's apartment and just the whole unfamiliarity of it was really kind of unnerving. At first I thought. I thought. Well, in a way, I thought it was exciting, but in a way, I thought, you know what? I hope nothing happens right now, because I was really. I was not all, you know, if.

[D]

She would have proposed something more intimate, would you have said, nah, let's not do this right about now, or, let's just move on, or, I don't know.

[F]

I don't know.

[B]

You know, I was relieved that it didn't happen, but I can't say that the thought was not an exciting thought at the same time.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I don't know if that answers it, but I don't think I would have been ready for it. It would have been too fast, too much. It would have been too crazy.

[C]

But flattering and exciting at the same time.

[B]

Oh, yeah, no, I'm a man. It would have been something. But still. But then we Left there and I took to raise on the River. We went down there because I had actually asked a friend of mine. I'd asked around my co workers on what she liked. And I found out that that was her favorite place. And so I took her down there. You know, I opened the car door for her. I made sure that I opened the doors for her. I made a real point of not so much being sensitive to every little thing, but just listening, being attentive, which was really cool. But then halfway into it, I got a little off track because I kept thinking, well, maybe if I'm fitting this way all the time with my wife, maybe we wouldn't have those problems. And then I had this.

[C]

I just had that same thought too, that you're. Maybe your ex wife is listening right now, going, listen, you never listened to me for the last 10 years.

[D]

Had to open my car door. We wouldn't be at this place right now.

[G]

You know what? She. He would have listened to her if she wasn't just nagging all the time over and over and over. Do this, do that. There's been wrong with you. So maybe if she shut her mouth, they would still be together.

[D]

Never took me to raise up River. It was always Chilies.

[B]

We had other issues. So I guess that helped it get it back on track. But, you know, but it was good. You know, I talked about my kids and that was a cool thing and it wasn't a weird thing. And she was really appreciative of it. And she was also. I think she had really thought about it a lot because she was very much about not wanting to meet them right away, which really was relieving to me because I'm at that point where I still don't know where my children fit into my dating life yet. And so I felt that I would. I knew that I had to make some kind of ground rules about those things where I couldn't just expose my kids to a lot of different girls or a lot of different women, because that would just be confusing to them. But she just jumped right out there and was like, you know, don't worry. I think it's better that I don't meet them right away, that you don't have to introduce me to them and feel that kind of strange pressure or what that means for you. So she was very, very cool about that, which I really appreciated. And she seemed to really appreciate the fact that I was talking about him. Didn't talk about my ex wife, which was good and helped the evening go. No, we really Talked and we had a really good time, and it was really sweet. And it felt really good to talk to someone of the opposite sex in that kind of setting. It felt like doing it all over again, which was really. I don't know, it was just really, really nice. I felt. I felt really good about it. I guess that's the best way to describe it.

[C]

Was there an instant attraction there? Because I think when you are dating and you meet somebody, you either kind of know or you know it right off the bat, if there's a physical attraction, there was there with her.

[B]

Yeah, there really was for me. And I sensed, you know, look, I haven't been dating in, you know, 15 years, so unless I'm completely off, like, I haven't used. My perception is completely on my. I think she sensed it, too, so. She has. She was into me, too. I think we both were really enjoying each other's company.

[G]

Nowadays, on the second date's when you got to seal the deal. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Nobody goes three days without having sex anymore.

[C]

Don't listen to him. Don't listen to them.

[G]

You should show up naked. You know what? That's what the kids are doing nowadays. What you do is you invite her up to your place and you're like, okay, let me go grab my coat. And then you come out not wearing any pants.

[D]

Hey, so how did the end of the date go? Because this is really where we like to dissect if there's going to be another date or not.

[B]

Yeah, well, I took her. I took her back to her place. She invited me up. If I wanted to come up for a drink, that would have been it right there. Well, you know, I think that it was kind of a safe thing to say because before we left the dinner. Before we left the dinner, I said, you know, I should probably get back to my kids. Because then we had a babysitter that night, and I didn't want to. You know, I didn't want to go over too long, so she offered me up for a quick drink. So I think it was kind of a safe thing. Like, she knew I wasn't going to be there long anyways, but she did. She invited me up. I had a quick drink, we had a quick glass of wine, and we talked. And then at the end of the evening, you know, I gave her a nice kiss on the cheek, asked her if she wanted to go out again, and she said she would. And we're probably gonna go out this weekend.

[C]

Awesome.

[B]

Good.

[C]

That is great.

[D]

Okay. How weird was that? Kiss.

[B]

No, no, it was a nice.

[D]

It's a cheek that he hasn't. I mean, he's only been with a couple of cheeks his whole life.

[B]

French cheek. Right. Well, it was nice. It was nice. I had a warm cheek. My lips were warm. All right.

[D]

Sounds cheeky.

[B]

It was cheeky.

[D]

Well, good. So it sounds like it was great.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And you got the first one out of the way because that one's gonna have to be the toughest.

[C]

Congratulations, Charlie.

[B]

Thank you. Thanks, guys. I mean, it was really helpful for me.

[D]

Yeah, I'm glad we could help it, even if it's a little way. I've given you kind of a checklist just to think about on the way over there. Man, that's great.

[B]

It really worked out good for me.

[G]

Don't Jack it up this weekend.

[C]

Yeah, don't screw it up. Because most bird show stories don't end up on such a great note like this. And I am so happy right now that it ended on a good note.

[B]

I'm really. I'm going to be very attentive to this so it doesn't go off rail.

[D]

Well, great, because we're just all sitting here waiting for the other foot to drop here, you know, like. And I felt. I realized I fell in love with.

[G]

Her sister, you know, you should propose to her.

[C]

Is that while he's in the trench getting nothing else?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

All right, Charlie, congratulations, man.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[D]

Way to get the first one done.

[B]

Thank you. Thanks for all the help.

[D]

All right. See you later. Looky there. See, it does happen. We have some good outcomes on this show.

[C]

Something good happens every once in a while.

[G]

I don't believe you know what? He's gay and he doesn't know it yet. He'll find out live on this show, the Birch Show.

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