Vault: He's Prepared To Take a Risk And Hitchhike Across The US

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: He's Prepared To Take a Risk And Hitchhike Across The US
Date: February 26, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, the Bert Show brings a listener, Brian, onto the air to discuss his unique passion for hitchhiking across America. The conversation explores the social perceptions of hitchhiking, personal safety, and the reality versus myth of life on the road. With Brian currently hitchhiking during the call, the hosts dig into his motivation, experiences, and thoughts about the modern world’s view of hitchhiking.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Perception of Hitchhiking: Freedom vs. Fear

• [01:22 – 03:37]
  • The hosts reminisce about the romantic portrayal of hitchhiking in older movies versus its current reputation for danger.
  • Skepticism and fear prevail: “I don't see it that way. I think it's very, very scary.” (Host 2, 01:38)
  • The group discusses urban legends and the fear that picking up strangers could end in disaster.

Brian’s Motivation and Experience

• [04:10 – 05:24]
  • Brian, a 27-year-old grad student and Iraq veteran, joins from the road.
  • He admits his trips are often spontaneous, sometimes not knowing his destination until last minute.
  • On the culture of fear: "I think there's this whole kind of culture of fear … but I don't feel like anybody worries about like heart disease, which I suspect is more likely to kill you." (Brian, 05:24)

Hitchhiking Techniques and Encounters

• [06:32 – 08:12]
  • Brian uses a sign saying "Iraq Vet Going North" to improve his chances of getting picked up.
  • Most of his pick-ups have been by regular people, often because of his veteran status.
  • Contrary to stereotypes, no truck drivers have picked him up. “Not one truck driver has ever picked me up.” (Brian, 07:45)
  • Female drivers rarely stop unless accompanied by another person.

Personal Safety and Practical Concerns

• [08:59 – 09:38]
  • Brian feels his physical presence (6’2”, 220 lbs) deters would-be criminals.
  • "I think I'd be a lot of work to rob or kill." (Brian, 09:06)
  • Hosts joke about modern “killers” preferring the internet over picking up hitchhikers the old-fashioned way.

Logistics of Life on the Road

• [10:04 – 11:28]
  • Brian talks about traveling between cities like Detroit, D.C., or Boston, depending on which friend needs him or answers his call.
  • Currently near Resaca, GA, northbound on I-75, staying at the $16.95/night Duffy's Motel.
  • He makes the most of cheap motels: “Gonna enjoy his continental breakfast, which is apparently coffee and some small donuts … only simpler.” (Brian, 10:32)

Notable Listener Engagement

• [11:28 – 11:41]
  • A caller, Donna, corrects Brian’s pronunciation of Resaca and jokes about the infamous reputation of the motel.

Plans and Updates

• [11:41 – 12:02]
  • Brian predicts he’ll be in Kentucky by the next morning and agrees to check back in with the show for a progress update.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "You meet new people and then you just go where the road takes you... I don't see it that way. I think it's very, very scary."
  — Host 2, [01:38]
• "That's old foot two and I weigh 220 pounds. And … I think I'd be a lot of work to rob or kill."
  — Brian, [09:06]
• "I think there's this whole kind of culture of fear… but I don't feel like anybody worries about like heart disease, which I suspect is more likely to kill you."
  — Brian, [05:24]
• "I always try to wear, like a bright shirt and I try to wear hiking socks because... in my brain, if I wear hiking socks, I look, I don't know, more sensible than somebody who just killed a family."
  — Brian, [08:35]
• "Gonna enjoy his continental breakfast, which is apparently coffee and some small donuts. He says it's like a continental breakfast, only simpler."
  — Brian, [10:32]
• Caller Donna: "Lots of illegitimate children conceived at the Duffy’s." [11:30]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:22] — Kickoff of the main hitchhiking discussion.
• [04:12] — Brian, the hitchhiking grad student, joins live from the road.
• [05:24] — Brian on the culture of fear vs. real danger.
• [06:32] — Hitchhiking strategy: Veterans signs and types of people who pick him up.
• [07:45] — Debunking the truck driver myth.
• [09:06] — Brian on why he doesn’t worry about his safety.
• [10:32] — Motel life and roadside breakfast.
• [11:30] — Listener Donna calls in with local color and advice.
• [11:48] — Brian predicts he’ll hit Kentucky by the next morning and agrees to update the show.

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Tone and Style

The episode is conversational, humorous, and candid—true to the Bert Show’s style. Hosts blend light teasing with genuine curiosity and concern, while Brian matches the show’s easygoing vibe, peppering in wit and self-awareness about his unconventional hobby.

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Conclusion

This episode provides a fascinating, light-hearted, and in-depth look at the thrills, myths, and real-life logistics of hitchhiking in the U.S. today, all through Brian’s firsthand account. For listeners, it’s a mix of nostalgia for road adventures, laughs over quirky roadside life, and thought-provoking commentary on modern fears and trust.

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Transcript

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[Host 1]

t.com SpinQuest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Bird Show. You watch all these movies from like the 60s and stuff, and people are hitchhiking all over the country and it looks like fun, man. It's the ultimate freedom.

[Host 2]

Yeah, you're just on the side of the road and somebody. You meet new people and then you just go where the road takes you, where that person will take you. I get out of the car and then you go and do it all over again. I don't see it that way. I think it's very, very scary.

[Host 1]

Well, now. Yeah, for sure. Now. Those days are over.

[Host 2]

Okay, I saw. Well, there's been two versions. I saw the first version and I won't. I won't do that or eat fries again. Did you ever see that movie, the Hitchhiker with the fries?

[Host 3]

Have you ever picked up. Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?

[Host 1]

I would never.

[Host 3]

Now let me ask you this, because I almost, almost on Saturday night picked up some people on the side of the road. And the reason why is I was coming down 400 and there was a broken down taxi.

[Host 1]

Oh.

[Host 3]

And standing behind the taxi were, like, three people. Two girls and a guy or two guys and a girl. I couldn't. But they were all dressed up like they were going out. You know what I mean? Like, the guy had his, you know, his jeans on and his nice polo shirt, you know, and the girls had their going, like. And they were young. They were like. And I'm like, that sucks. Like, they probably just got in their cab to come down to Buckhead and it's busted down on the side of the road.

[Host 2]

That's what they want you to think.

[Host 1]

That's what I was thinking, man. It's an elaborate scheme, and that's what happened.

[Host 3]

Then I'm like, no, what if this is. What if the. What if somebody took the taxi and this is a big joke, and he took the taxi and recruited these people to help him.

[Host 1]

Then all of a sudden, you're an urban legend and people are on snopes trying to figure out if your story is true or not. Because you're dead.

[Host 2]

You're the crazy victim of the Buckhead Bandit.

[Host 1]

You're dead.

[Host 3]

It really bothered me for about three minutes till I got to my friend's house. But I was like, I could pick them up and drop them off at wherever.

[Host 1]

I didn't even know it was still legal to hitchhike.

[Host 3]

Well, they weren't hitchhiking. They weren't hitchhiking.

[Host 1]

This one was a broken down car.

[Host 3]

So it was a busted down car. A taxicab that was stolen by a killer who had brainwashed three young people to play the role of distressed students. The girls were hot in a short skirt. That attract a guy like me?

[Host 1]

I've seen that movie before.

[Host 3]

He wanted to eat my flesh. I know what you're up to.

[Host 1]

What you did last summer, depending on the rating of that movie, either everybody's gonna die or everybody's having sex, right? But I like the idea of it, man. I mean, you just. You pick up and you leave. You got a couple of bucks in your pocket and you depend on the goodness of strangers to take you to one new place after the next. And it's the complete idea of freedom. But you can't do it anymore because it's such a sketchy idea. Sketchy world. Well, our listener Brian here has not only done it this morning, but he does it quite a bit and is planning on doing it again. And he's joining us from the road this morning.

[Host 2]

Hey, Brian.

[Host 1]

Hey, Brian.

[Guest (Brian)]

Hey, good morning, guys. How you doing?

[Host 2]

I'm Going to call you crazy Brian. Nervous.

[Guest (Brian)]

I just. I love it.

[Host 1]

So how old a guy are you?

[Guest (Brian)]

I'm 27.

[Host 1]

27 years old. And at least when you wrote us in this email a couple of days ago, you didn't even know you were going. You didn't know if you were heading to Detroit, D.C. or Boston. You were just getting on the road.

[Guest (Brian)]

I know people in all those places and I kind of had a couple options and I didn't know where I was going to go. And then I called one friend in northern Ohio who lives near Detroit, and he's been seeing this married girl for like six months, and kind of shockingly, it's not going well. So he was down in the dumps and he needed somebody to kind of come up and cheer him up. So that sort of just made my decision for me.

[Host 2]

So how long have you been hitchhiking? Is this a regular pattern for you?

[Guest (Brian)]

I do it as often as I can. I'm a grad student at Emory, and so I do it on my vacations. Every time we have like a spring break or a fall break, I started. I used to be in the military. I got back from Iraq in 06, and that's when I started doing it.

[Host 2]

So you can kill somebody with your bare hands?

[Guest (Brian)]

No, no, no, no, no. I just aligned medic. It's good. I mean, I like that people believe that, but no, no, no, no, no.

[Host 2]

We've talked about our fear of something bad happening. You know, have you go for content to do it.

[Guest (Brian)]

I think there's this whole cult and this is part of why I do it. I think there's this whole kind of culture of fear. You know, people are all afraid that some sort of crazy serial killer hitchhiker is going to get you. But I don't know, I don't feel like anybody worries about like heart disease, which I suspect is more likely to kill you. But no, I've never. I've never been harassed or hassled. I did one time have two girls roll down their window about 2 inches and kind of peek out at me and ask me if I was going to kill them or anything. Did you say no? I was like. I was like, no, that's my secret. If you ask me, I have to tell you. But no, no, no. I've never had anything shady happen. It's always been everybody that picks you up has always been really cool.

[Host 3]

Did you. Did you hook up with those two girls?

[Guest (Brian)]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They look, no. One time I got picked up By a very attractive Croatian masseuse down in Florida. And I was like, oh, it's going to be like the. But then she dropped me off about three miles later and said she had

[Commercial Narrator 2]

to go to work.

[Host 2]

So not like the movie, women are picking you up.

[Host 1]

Really surprised that it's women that are picking you up.

[Guest (Brian)]

That's what those are. Both, actually the only two times any other time there's been a female in the car. They were with their husband or their boyfriend or something like that.

[Host 1]

How long does it generally take for you to get somebody to pick you up? Like, if you start walking right now and you're in North Georgia right now.

[Guest (Brian)]

Right, I am. I'm up just a little ways north, I think Calhoun in this town called Resica that I've never heard of.

[Host 1]

All right, so from walking down the road now, and is it the traditional stick your thumb in the air, the hitchhiking thing, or.

[Guest (Brian)]

I do, I do. And to kind of maximize my chances of getting a ride, I kind of cash in on the military thing. And I get signs that say, like, iraq vet going north. And I feel like that kind of improves my odds a little. A lot of people who pick me up say that's why they pick me up.

[Host 1]

And how long generally will it take for somebody to pick you up Once

[Guest (Brian)]

you start walking, it's completely random. I started walking and gotten a ride literally five minutes after I stepped onto the interstate. And then one day, like two years ago, I guess I got stuck. I must have walked 20, 25 miles that day. Counting by the exit numbers, it's kind

[Host 3]

of hard to tell you now, capitalizing on that military thing, Be careful, because I think the Iraq vet sign might be helpful, but full camos and your firearm probably not going to be used.

[Guest (Brian)]

I have to actually be seen, right?

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

For some reason, I imagine most people that pick you up, truck drivers who are just lonely on the road.

[Guest (Brian)]

Not one truck driver has ever picked me up. And actually, when I've been stuck before and I've seen a truck stop and I veer off and I'll just go from truck to truck and ask nicely. And they have always said, no, there's no way. You know, they say they wish they could help, but I guess it's an insurance thing nowadays. Yeah, but my little brother once got stuck at a truck stop and got offered, like two or three rides, but he weighs, like 60 pounds less than me, and I think he's a lot prettier, and I. I think that was a factor.

[Host 1]

So you've Passed it down to your younger brother and he's hitchhiking now?

[Guest (Brian)]

No, he wasn't hitchhiking. I think he was just stranded.

[Host 1]

Okay.

[Guest (Brian)]

Yeah. No, if I encourage any of my. I have two younger brothers and if they start doing this. My mom's already angry enough at me. If they start doing this, I'm not going to get invited to Thanksgiving.

[Host 1]

So if. What do you look like as you're walking down the road right now? Do you have like that big pack on your back or.

[Guest (Brian)]

I do. I carry a backpack. And the only reason I wouldn't even bother carrying a backpack, most of the stuff in my backpack is to go out when I get up to see my friend. Like going out, clothes and stuff. I end up carrying more weight than I need to. But yeah, I always try to wear, like a bright shirt and I try to wear hiking socks because I don't know if it's true. But in my brain, if I wear hiking socks, I look, I don't know, more sensible than somebody who just killed a family.

[Host 2]

That is so bizarre. And you're not afraid of like a Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer or something like that?

[Guest (Brian)]

Nah. I mean, it could. I mean, I know it could happen. I just don't think it's very likely. I just don't think it's very likely. And I'm. That's old foot two and I weigh 220 pounds. And, you know, and I think I look like I'd be a lot of work. I mean, I'm not a ninja or anything because of the army, but I think I'd be a lot of work to rob or kill. And I feel like those kind of people would pass me up probably.

[Host 3]

Yeah. New killers are finding their subjects on the Internet. They're not bothering. They're not going to waste.

[Host 1]

Especially with not going this old school.

[Host 3]

If you're a murderer, you're not going to be like, wasting gas. That's expensive to go find your next victim. They just Google them.

[Guest (Brian)]

Yeah, it's true. With gas prices, it'd be a lot easier just to get a dso.

[Host 2]

Just scares me.

[Host 1]

So when are you expecting to arrive? Like, your friends are like, well, I guess he could be here on Tuesday, or I guess he could be here on Friday, or I guess he could be here on Monday.

[Guest (Brian)]

I bet I'll make it to. I don't think I'll make it there today unless I luck out and catch somebody and, you know, on a holiday weekend or something or on a Friday, you're going to Catch longer rides usually, but it's a Tuesday. But I bet I'll make it there Wednesday. Wednesday afternoon. I feel pretty good about Wednesday afternoon.

[Host 1]

I really want to check back with you tomorrow and find out how far you've made it.

[Guest (Brian)]

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

[Host 1]

All right. So right now you're in what town again?

[Guest (Brian)]

Resaca. I don't even know if I'm saying it right. I'm probably mispronouncing the southern ness of it, but. R E S E C A. Resaca.

[Host 1]

And you're going north.

[Guest (Brian)]

Going north on 75.

[Host 1]

Yep, on 75.

[Host 2]

Some might call it resaca.

[Guest (Brian)]

Yeah, exactly.

[Host 3]

Exactly. I was just gonna say, it sounds so quiet. Are there cars passing you now or.

[Guest (Brian)]

No, no, no. It's too dark to get on the interstate right now. I don't feel like getting hit. And I stayed at this at Duffy's Motel last night for 16.95. So I'm gonna enjoy his continental breakfast, which is apparently coffee and some small donuts. He says it's like a continental breakfast, only simpler.

[Host 1]

How does it get simpler than that?

[Guest (Brian)]

Yeah, I want to load up on carbs because I don't know when the next. You know, when the next Waffle House is going to be. So I'm going to eat as many of his small donuts at a simple continental breakfast.

[Host 1]

Man, it's me. But it's 16.95 a night. Motel room has black light written all over it because there's not a sheet that I would lay on. There's not a phone I would pick up. And I hope you didn't put that remote in your hand.

[Guest (Brian)]

It's pretty gross. It is pretty gross, but it was.

[Host 3]

He didn't put it in his hand because it's bolted to the nightstand.

[Guest (Brian)]

My other option. I mean, I could sleep outdoors, but they used to pay me to do that in the army, and it's just not fun anymore unless I'm getting a paycheck for it. So I just go ahead and I spring the 20 bucks to go ahead and sleep on a bed.

[Host 1]

Hey, Donna, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[Guest (Brian)]

Hey. I just wanted to let him know he resac is the way it's pronounced. And also, there's been lots of illegitimate children conceived at the Duffy's.

[Host 1]

Well, bro, you just missed out on golden opportunity. I'm gonna check with you tomorrow and find out exactly where you're at, how far you made it.

[Guest (Brian)]

Yeah, absolutely. You guys will just give me a ring.

[Host 1]

And you're thinking tomorrow morning when we call you you'll be in what part of the country?

[Guest (Brian)]

I bet tomorrow morning. I feel positive I'll go ahead and make a prediction that I'll be somewhere in Kentucky tomorrow. Yeah.

[Host 2]

Excellent.

[Guest (Brian)]

Yeah.

[Host 3]

All right.

[Host 2]

Be careful.

[Host 1]

Yeah, be careful, man.

[Guest (Brian)]

Absolutely. You guys have a great day.

[Host 3]

All right.

[Host 1]

You too. Bye. Now the third show.

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