Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: He's Ready For Marriage, But He's Missing The Most Important Thing

Date: February 16, 2026

Episode Overview

This lively and humorous Bert Show episode centers around Trey, a 35-year-old single man who, with a push from his best friend Joel, is attempting to get married by a set date - January 17. The twist? Trey doesn’t have a bride-to-be and is letting The Bert Show and its listeners help find one. The episode explores themes of friendship, commitment, personal growth, and the comedic trials of modern romance, all while brainstorming how this “radio Bachelor”-style challenge might work.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting Up Trey's Marriage Challenge

• Joel’s Intervention: Joel, tired of Trey’s annual claims of “this is the year I get married,” takes matters into his own hands by sending out “save the date” cards for Trey’s wedding - even though Trey has no fiancée yet. (01:23–01:45)
• Reality Show Inspiration: The crew likens the process to “The Bachelor,” suggesting a screening and matchmaking process. Joel has already signed Trey up on various dating sites, eager to find suitable contestants. (02:01–02:45)
• Trey’s Personality: The hosts and Joel paint Trey as fun and a bit wild, speculating he’d be “the guy in costume at his kid’s football game, wasted at 9 in the morning.” The consensus: it’ll take a specific, equally fun woman to match Trey’s spirit. (03:31–04:11)

2. Getting Trey On Board

• Trey’s Reaction: Surprised but game, Trey joins the conversation:
  • “I want to get married. I’m gonna get married in January… I guess it’s kind of escalated to this.” (05:29–05:42, Trey)
• The ‘Goal-Oriented’ Theory: The team discusses the idea that a hard set wedding date will help Trey focus and get serious about commitment.
  • “It’s time to grow up, guys.” (06:25, Trey)
• Motivation: Trey cites his age, readiness for a family, and desire to stop procrastinating:
  • “I’ve dated, got that out of my system… I want a family eventually… I can’t keep dating Joel anymore.” (06:36–06:56, Trey)

3. Commitment & Stakes for The Show

• The Challenge’s Scope: Hosts debate if the segment is interesting and sustainable for six months (the time until the wedding). Consensus is: Yes.
• Commitment Confirmed:
  • “I will get married on January 17. I will do that.” (07:36, Trey)
  • “I think that gives me enough time to find somebody… Goal setting as well.” (07:36–08:08, Trey)
• Listener Involvement: The group considers organizing the search “Bachelor/Bachelorette style,” crowdsourcing both candidates and eventually letting the Bert Show community engage in the decision process. (12:29–12:37)

4. Who Is Trey Looking For?

• Requirements: Trey says he’s not particular, just wants someone with “good chemistry” and a shared sense of humor. Age is not a significant issue, but he jokes certain age ranges may be “a little difficult.” (08:26–10:07)
  • “Just someone that I can get along with… If I can find somebody with good chemistry that make me laugh a little bit that I find attractive, I think we’re good to go.” (08:26–08:46, Trey)
• Listener Amy Calls In: Amy, a divorced 33-year-old listener, calls to say Trey “piqued my interest.” She loves people who can make her laugh, underlining that Trey’s appeal is very real to the audience. (10:41–11:10)

5. Logistics and Next Steps

• Contest Format: The team toys with narrowing down “the top 25,” letting Trey have final say, and involving the audience but jokes about the perpetual technical issues with their website. (12:06–12:47)
• Commitment Check (Again):
  • “I need to hear the words come out of your mouth that you will get married on that date.” (14:29–14:36, Host)
  • “I will get married on that date.” (14:36, Trey)
• Vegas Wedding Plans: The wedding in Vegas will include costumes, a night of partying, and an early morning ceremony. (14:04–14:29)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “He’s the guy that in 10 years is at his 12 year old’s football game…completely wasted at 9 in the morning.”

  • Joel describing Trey’s personality.
    (03:43, Joel)

• "I want to get married. I'm gonna get married in January… I guess it's kind of escalated to this."

  • Trey reacting to the save-the-dates already being sent.
    (05:29–05:42, Trey)

• “It’s time to grow up, guys.”

  • Trey on why he’s ready for marriage.
    (06:25, Trey)

• “I will get married on January 17. I will do that. But what happens between now and then is a little scary.”

  • Trey confirming his commitment, with comic hesitation.
    (07:36, Trey)

• “If you’re a girl and you like to laugh, that’s cool. If you’re into looks, don’t go to my setup.”

  • Trey, self-deprecating as ever.
    (09:52, Trey)

• “You are nothing but a piece of meat to us.”

  • Host poking fun at how Trey’s journey is now a show segment.
    (11:26, Host)

• “The premise is on the 17th, we show up in the lobby… everybody absolutely has to dress up in costume. Then we go get completely plowed, and then…get married at 5am on Sunday.”

  • Joel outlining the outrageous wedding plan.
    (14:04–14:29, Joel)

Important Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamps | Summary | |--------------------------|-------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | Joel presents idea | 01:23–01:45 | Joel announces the save-the-date wedding for Trey | | Trey joins and reacts | 05:12–06:10 | Trey learns about and reacts to Joel’s plan | | Trey’s commitment | 07:36–08:08 | Trey says “I will get married on January 17” | | Trey’s ideal woman | 08:26–10:07 | Trey describes who he’s looking for | | Listener Amy calls in | 10:41–11:10 | Amy expresses interest in dating Trey | | Show’s big picture debate| 12:06–13:11 | Hosts decide if they’ll make this a six-month recurring segment | | Final commitment | 14:29–14:36 | Trey again confirms he’ll marry on the set date | | Vegas wedding plan | 14:04–14:29 | Joel details wedding festivities and logistics |

Tone & Language

The episode is full of friendly jabs, self-deprecating humor, open banter, and organic, fast-paced conversation. The camaraderie among hosts, Trey, Joel, and callers is genuine and playful, making the concept both entertaining and oddly heartfelt.

Summary

In this episode, The Bert Show kicks off a unique social experiment: setting up their friend Trey to marry a yet-to-be-discovered bride with a concrete deadline. With Joel driving the scheme, the show commits to following this journey for the next six months, inviting listeners to participate, and promising plenty of hijinks, personal growth, and, possibly, romance. Trey’s earnest but comedic willingness (“It’s time to grow up, guys”), his open-mindedness about potential partners, and the prospect of a costume-studded Vegas wedding set the stage for what promises to be an unforgettable radio ride.