Vault: He's Searching For The Best Make-Out Spots In The City!

Summary

The Bert Show: “Vault: He's Searching For The Best Make-Out Spots In The City!”

Date: February 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lighthearted and humorous episode of The Bert Show, the team fields a listener’s request for the best make-out spots in Atlanta. Raul, a recent transplant from Honduras by way of New Mexico, calls in for advice on romantic destinations, sparking a lively on-air brainstorm session, a wave of listener suggestions, and some raunchy storytelling from the hosts themselves. The cast—Bert, Sean, Mark, and others—combine playful banter, personal anecdotes, and local expertise to turn what could be a simple list into a deeply entertaining slice of southern radio culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Listener’s Dilemma (01:33–02:43)

• Raul’s Quest: Raul describes his recent move to Atlanta and asks the crew for recommendations for secluded, romantic places to make out, explaining:
  “Like, I just moved to this stage and, like, I was wondering if you guys could, like, let me know, like, which ones are the good places?” (01:33)
• The cast teases Raul about his accent and background, confirming he’s from Honduras but lived in New Mexico.

2. Atlanta Make-Out Spots: Suggestions & Stories (02:47–11:20)

• Drive-In Theaters (02:46–03:12)
  • The Starlight Drive-In is recommended as a classic, convenient option.
  • “There is a drive in movie theater. It's called the Starlight Drive-In.” (03:06)
• Nature Destinations
  • Raul reminisces about the scenic mountain make-out spots of New Mexico, prompting the hosts to reflect on how every hometown has its secret spot (03:46–04:06).
  • Callers recommend:
    • High Falls (04:54): “High Falls has some good spots. They got like trails and things and places out there.” – Caller Jonathan (04:54)
    • The River Overlook Near Roswell Road (05:53–06:36): A local shares a detailed, secret spot: “…there's a little gravel road that pulls off and goes over a big rock face. And it overlooks the river. Real pretty. Take a bottle of wine, some cheese, whatever. Have a great time.” – Jonathan (06:33)
    • Jones Bridge Park & Medlock Bridge Park (06:15): Other riverside destinations are noted for privacy and romance.
• The Urban/Naughty Picks
  • Buford Highway Apartments: Sean jokes about parking “in the shadows and watch[ing] the cops.” (05:41)
  • Old CompUSA Lot across from Lenox Mall (06:56): “There's a little abandoned parking lot, right? Oh, fabulous. Even, especially during the day.”
  • Baseball Dugout at Chastain (07:26):
    • “The little baseball dugout at Chastain late at night.” – Caller Raul (07:29)
    • Mark reminisces about fulfilling classic sports field fantasies, adding a racy personal touch:
      • “So one weekend it was the dugout in high school and the next weekend it was the 50 yard line.” (08:02)
  • Murphy Candler Park (08:27):
    • Christine describes a park with lots of foliage for privacy, memorable for both her personal escapades and seeing an unashamed couple “under a blanket, going at it just out in the open.” (08:54)
  • SCAD Parking Deck (09:46):
    • An unnamed caller shares: “If you go to SCAD and go up on the parking deck ... it's a great view of the city and nobody's ever up there.” (10:02)
• Construction Sites (10:38–11:31)
  • A joking suggestion: homes under construction, although this evolves into a gross-out tangent about construction workers leaving bodily waste behind walls, recounted in a memorable anecdote:
    • “I told you guys about Shay's house ... contractor ... pooped in a bucket and left it behind the walls.” (11:03)

3. Why Secret Spots Stay Secret (04:06; 06:34)

• The hosts muse on the reluctance of locals to reveal hidden romantic locales:
  • “I'm wondering if people don't want to give up their secrets. Maybe that's their secret cool place to go make out. They don't want to tell everybody.” (04:06)
• There’s a nostalgia for the ‘make-out hill’ tradition that may be fading, but the show’s callers prove secluded nooks are still alive and well.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Fabled Make-Out Spot:
  “Every hometown had one ... Dictionary Hill in San Diego, Spring Valley was the place that you wanted to go make out.” – Mark (03:52)
• Jonathan’s Roswell River Overlook:
  “There’s a place right there on the right hand side of the road overlooks the river. Real pretty. Take a bottle of wine, some cheese, whatever. Have a great time.” – Jonathan (06:33)
• Playful Host Banter:
  “Don't come a-knocking!” – Sean, after the river overlook is described (06:51)
  “I want to sneak into your foliage!” – Co-host (09:30)
• Romantic High School Memories:
  “In my high school. At your high school with Debbie Pierce. She brought a cooler of watermelon shots out with us also. That was a cool night.” – Mark (07:52)
• On Hiding Places Evolving:
  “Homes being built make great make out places.” (10:38)
  “Except all the construction cups.” – Co-host (10:43)
  “Contractor ... pooped in a bucket and left it behind the walls.” – Co-host (11:03)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Listener Raul Calls In: 01:33–02:43
• Starlight Drive-In Mention: 03:00–03:12
• Mountain/Nature Spots Discussion: 03:46–04:06
• Listeners Suggest Secret Make-Out Locations: 04:34–09:59
  • High Falls: 04:54
  • Roswell River Overlook: 05:53–06:48
  • CompUSA/Lennox Lot: 06:56–07:23
  • Chastain Dugout: 07:26–07:50
  • Murphy Candler Park: 08:27–09:22
  • SCAD Parking Deck: 09:46–10:23
• Construction Site Antics: 10:38–11:20

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Episode Tone

The Bert Show crew keeps things raucous, cheeky, and full of inside jokes, riffing off each other and playfully teasing their callers. The community-centric spirit is palpable—they genuinely enjoy crowd-sourcing answers and building rapport with their listeners.

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A perfect listen for Atlanta locals, new arrivals, or anyone nostalgic for their hometown’s own make-out spot legend!

Transcript

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[Mark (Warm-up)]

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[Radio Host Burt]

I can only imagine, too. Only in theater Friday. Ready? PG the bird show.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Good morning, Raul. You're on Q100.

[Caller Raul]

Hey, guys. Well, like, you know, like how earlier on you guys were talking about the makeup points right here in Georgia? Well, I was wondering. I see. Like, I just moved to the. To this stage and, like, I was wondering if you guys could, like, let me know, like, which ones are the good places? Right here.

[Phone Screener Sean]

The good makeout places?

[Caller Raul]

Yeah, anywhere.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Our phone screener Sean's been drinking seems to have good success for a lot of people.

[Rocket Money Advertiser]

We've chosen well.

[Caller Raul]

I mean, that's unusual, but, like, something special.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

You know, we have tried this before and we haven't had a lot of success. I can try it again. Raul, where are you originally from?

[Caller Raul]

Well, like, I come from New Mexico.

[Radio Co-host]

Okay.

[Phone Screener Sean]

New Mexico?

[Caller Raul]

Yeah.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Did you say that you were new to Atlanta or new to the country?

[Radio Co-host]

New to Atlanta.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

What you have is a New Mexico accent.

[Caller Raul]

No, like, I'm from Honduras though.

[Guest or Additional Host]

Okay.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

That's what I was getting at. Okay. Originally from Honduras. We're New Mexico here.

[Phone Screener Sean]

It's right outside of Taos.

[Caller Raul]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

You know what Raul wants to know is he's new to Georgia and no doubt because he's got the Honduran accent, women are all over him, and he wants to find great make out places around Atlanta. What part of town do you live in?

[Caller Raul]

Well, like, let's just say around downtown.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Around downtown.

[Radio Co-host]

What about that drive in movie place that you featured? Didn't you feature? Is that your summer fun list?

[Phone Screener Sean]

Yeah, but I think that was my fifth thing and I was just screen scrapping for once. I don't remember.

[Radio Co-host]

You don't remember if it's really good, but there is a drive in. Movie theater.

[Caller Raul]

Movie theater.

[Radio Co-host]

It's a drive in.

[Caller Raul]

Okay, where's that at?

[Radio Co-host]

It's called the Starlight Drive in.

[Caller Raul]

Okay.

[Radio Co-host]

So you can get directions from wherever you're coming from.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Okay, let me, let me ask. Maybe Birchow community will rally around you. 404-741-Q100. It doesn't have to necessarily be downtown Atlanta.

[Caller Raul]

Yeah, it can be like around downtown.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

You know, it could be. But if it's not, you might have to drive a little bit for a good makeout place. And we've tried this before and we never get a whole bunch of calls on it because I just don't know that people like find old dirt roads and stuff to go down and make out anymore. Or if there's like a really romantic spot like people used to go and watch the planes land and make out there. I just don't know that those places exist anymore.

[Caller Raul]

Because when I was like over there in New Mexico, like we had like the mountain views, like that was perfect, you know?

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Yeah, every hometown had one. Like I said earlier this morning when we were talking about that story, Dictionary Hill in San Diego, Spring Valley was the place that you wanted to go make out. You go up to Dictionary Hill and that was the place to go. I don't know that we have those here.

[Radio Co-host]

I'm wondering if people don't want to give up their secrets. Maybe that's their secret cool place to go make out. They don't want to tell everybody.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Maybe we've already said it. Maybe it's Ippolitos Scalini's.

[Caller Raul]

Well, if Wendy goes with me to Scalini.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

I didn't understand that. Did you guys get that? I didn't get it. Let me take some more calls, see.

[Phone Screener Sean]

If he's From New Mexico. I can't understand his accent. He's speaking New Mexican.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Kimberly, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller Christine]

Hole in the wall at 2am.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Nobody's heard of that place.

[Phone Screener Sean]

And you don't even need to know the person you're making out with.

[Radio Co-host]

Yay.

[Phone Screener Sean]

No you don't.

[Radio Co-host]

Most likely they use a fake ID to get in anyway.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Hey, Rob, you're on Q100.

[Caller Raul]

Hey, what's going on?

[Caller Jonathan]

High Falls has some good spots. They got like trails and things and places out there.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Where's that?

[Caller Raul]

High Falls.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

High Falls.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Where is that? Is that downtown?

[Caller Raul]

No, that's heading like toward Griffin, out 75.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

You gotta really want to make out with somebody if you're gonna go from downtown to Griffin. You better really don't.

[Caller Jonathan]

Starlight. That's ghetto area. Really not the best makeout place.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Because if you drive too far, chances are the girl you're with is tipsy and then she falls asleep in the car. Hold on. Seriously? It's right off of here somewhere. It's up near Helen.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Minutes seem like hours when you're in that part too.

[Radio Co-host]

You mean Mini Germany?

[Phone Screener Sean]

Yeah.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

How many calls coming in for this? We have tried this before with the same results. Mm, just wait a sec.

[Phone Screener Sean]

It's an apartment complex on Buford highway where you can park in the shadows and watch the cops.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Have you done that recently?

[Phone Screener Sean]

Maybe.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Hey, Jason.

[Phone Screener Sean]

I'm a romantic.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Yes. What's up, man?

[Caller Jonathan]

Not a whole lot. If you go. If you take Roswell Road down past the Chick Fil a where it turns into the two lanes that go one way into downtown Roswell, right on the right hand side of the road, there's a little gravel road that pulls off and goes over a big rock face. And it overlooks the river. And really private, really secluded. You could probably get away with a lot more than making out nice.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

You're just gonna hide behind that rock and jack up people when they're.

[Caller Jonathan]

There's all kind of places and different views. You can go. You can go to Jones Bridge park, you can go to Medlock Bridge Park. Any place along the river. Usually pretty quiet because the people are going down the river and passing you right by.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

You got pretty good experience in this whole thing.

[Caller Jonathan]

I mean, I'm born and raised here. 31 years. I gotta find someplace to go, right?

[Mark (Warm-up)]

All right, so the number one place on your list would be where?

[Caller Jonathan]

Over there off of Roswell Road. Just as it turns into the downtown traffic ways. There's a place right there on the right hand side of the road overlooks the river. Real pretty. Take a bottle of wine, some cheese, whatever. Have a great time.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Beautiful. Thank you.

[Phone Screener Sean]

This demands a rock.

[Caller Raul]

Hell yeah.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Don't come a knocking.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Good morning. Q100 great make out places in Atlanta.

[Caller Raul]

Yeah, I've actually got two really good ones. The Comp, the old Comp USA. Across from Neiman Marcus at Lenox Mall, there's a little abandoned parking lot, right? Oh, fabulous. Even, especially during the day.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Are the girls, are they conscious?

[Caller Raul]

Oh yeah, she was very. Well, she wasn't conscious after we were. Nevermind. Anyway.

[Guest or Additional Host]

The second one was way on, baby.

[Caller Raul]

Baseball dugout.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Say that one more time.

[Caller Raul]

The little baseball dugout at Chastain late at night.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Oh, oh, that's a good one.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

You know, I thought that's fabulous. I thought back in the day that that fantasy wouldn't really meet the expectation like having sex on the dugout or on the 50 yard line, but it. It does.

[Caller Raul]

It does.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Really, it does. Yeah.

[Radio Co-host]

You did it on the 50 yard line?

[Mark (Warm-up)]

I did.

[Radio Co-host]

Where?

[Mark (Warm-up)]

In my high school. At your high school with Debbie Pierce. She brought a cooler of watermelon shots out with us also. That was one of the. That was a cool night.

[Radio Co-host]

Did you bring a blanket? Were you on the grass?

[Mark (Warm-up)]

We were on the grass. She brought a blanket. She, she surprised me with the whole night. I think at one point we were probably talking about our fantasies and I probably said something like the dugout. So one weekend it was the dugout in high school and the next weekend it was the 50 yard line.

[Radio Co-host]

Combining your two favorite things, sports and sex and grass.

[Guest or Additional Host]

Your game is way on, baby.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

You had me at hello. Good morning. Q100.

[Caller Christine]

Hey, this is Christine. This is more giving away, I guess, sort of a secret from when I was in High School. 9th, 10th grade, my boyfriend and I used to go make out at a place called Murphy Candler Park. It's kind of over by the Perimeter Mall area and it's real pretty. There's a lake, there's lots of wooded areas. Real cool. But one distinct memory that I had when I was in 10th grade is we were walking along there actually without the intention to make out that time, but very distinctly not, you know, concealed by anything, was this couple under a blanket, going at it just out in the open, out in the open. I swear they were on top of a blanket and a blanket over them and that's it. They weren't behind trees, they weren't behind bushes. So I figure if someone can get away with having sex in public there you can Definitely get away with, you know, sneaking into the foliage and making out a little bit.

[Caller Raul]

Hell yeah.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Thank you.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Hey, you want to go sneak into the foliage?

[Radio Co-host]

I want to sneak into your foliage.

[Guest or Additional Host]

Your game is way on, baby.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Hey, Jonathan, you're on.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Shit. I know they call me the foliage sneaker for a reason.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

What's going on, Jonathan?

[Caller Raul]

Oh, not much. I've got a great make out place.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

All right. Solid makeout places around Atlanta.

[Caller Raul]

It's not so much, it's not illegal, but just don't get caught. There's a certain parking deck at a, let's say, prestigious art school in Atlanta.

[Phone Screener Sean]

You gotta give us a little more detail than that or else it doesn't work.

[Caller Raul]

If you go to SCAD and go up on the parking deck, they usually have it roped off. Or you can just walk up there and it's a great view of the city and nobody's ever up there.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Really.

[Radio Co-host]

That's right there, right over the interstate. So I bet you get to see midtown and downtown.

[Caller Raul]

It's beautiful up there.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Is there any foliage to sneak into?

[Caller Raul]

Maybe some grass growing through the concrete, but no good foliage.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

It's a great suggestion. Thank you.

[Radio Co-host]

Maybe you could bring your own, like your own foliage.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Like a potted plant.

[Radio Co-host]

I'll wear it on a hat like hunters do.

[Phone Screener Sean]

You know, like I'm hunting rabbits. I'm a fud.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Other calls. Homes being built make great make out places.

[Radio Co-host]

Ew. Except all the construction cups.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Well, it depends how. It depends how done the house is.

[Radio Co-host]

That's true. But you know how construction sites always have, like, big, like QT cups full.

[Phone Screener Sean]

Of, you know, construction workers poop in your walls.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Yes, I have heard that.

[Radio Co-host]

I told you guys about Shay's house.

[Phone Screener Sean]

The guy pooped in her wall.

[Radio Co-host]

He did that to them. A contractor. That was kind of bitter.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Did they? Oh, really? It was bitter at Shay.

[Radio Co-host]

They were bitter at them when they were redoing a part of their house and pooped in a bucket and left it behind the walls. The other contractor that had to come in and finish the work found it.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Really?

[Radio Co-host]

Yes. As well as QT cups filled with urine.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Serious?

[Radio Co-host]

Serious.

[Phone Screener Sean]

See, I just heard that they just get into the space between the walls and bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. That's it.

[Radio Co-host]

In the market. Drop a deuce.

[Mark (Warm-up)]

Yes.

[Radio Host Burt]

The Burt Show.

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