The Bert Show: “Vault: He's Searching For The Best Make-Out Spots In The City!”
Date: February 16, 2026
Episode Overview
In this lighthearted and humorous episode of The Bert Show, the team fields a listener’s request for the best make-out spots in Atlanta. Raul, a recent transplant from Honduras by way of New Mexico, calls in for advice on romantic destinations, sparking a lively on-air brainstorm session, a wave of listener suggestions, and some raunchy storytelling from the hosts themselves. The cast—Bert, Sean, Mark, and others—combine playful banter, personal anecdotes, and local expertise to turn what could be a simple list into a deeply entertaining slice of southern radio culture.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Listener’s Dilemma (01:33–02:43)
- Raul’s Quest: Raul describes his recent move to Atlanta and asks the crew for recommendations for secluded, romantic places to make out, explaining:
“Like, I just moved to this stage and, like, I was wondering if you guys could, like, let me know, like, which ones are the good places?” (01:33) - The cast teases Raul about his accent and background, confirming he’s from Honduras but lived in New Mexico.
2. Atlanta Make-Out Spots: Suggestions & Stories (02:47–11:20)
- Drive-In Theaters (02:46–03:12)
- The Starlight Drive-In is recommended as a classic, convenient option.
- “There is a drive in movie theater. It's called the Starlight Drive-In.” (03:06)
- Nature Destinations
- Raul reminisces about the scenic mountain make-out spots of New Mexico, prompting the hosts to reflect on how every hometown has its secret spot (03:46–04:06).
- Callers recommend:
- High Falls (04:54): “High Falls has some good spots. They got like trails and things and places out there.” – Caller Jonathan (04:54)
- The River Overlook Near Roswell Road (05:53–06:36): A local shares a detailed, secret spot: “…there's a little gravel road that pulls off and goes over a big rock face. And it overlooks the river. Real pretty. Take a bottle of wine, some cheese, whatever. Have a great time.” – Jonathan (06:33)
- Jones Bridge Park & Medlock Bridge Park (06:15): Other riverside destinations are noted for privacy and romance.
- The Urban/Naughty Picks
- Buford Highway Apartments: Sean jokes about parking “in the shadows and watch[ing] the cops.” (05:41)
- Old CompUSA Lot across from Lenox Mall (06:56): “There's a little abandoned parking lot, right? Oh, fabulous. Even, especially during the day.”
- Baseball Dugout at Chastain (07:26):
- “The little baseball dugout at Chastain late at night.” – Caller Raul (07:29)
- Mark reminisces about fulfilling classic sports field fantasies, adding a racy personal touch:
- “So one weekend it was the dugout in high school and the next weekend it was the 50 yard line.” (08:02)
- Murphy Candler Park (08:27):
- Christine describes a park with lots of foliage for privacy, memorable for both her personal escapades and seeing an unashamed couple “under a blanket, going at it just out in the open.” (08:54)
- SCAD Parking Deck (09:46):
- An unnamed caller shares: “If you go to SCAD and go up on the parking deck ... it's a great view of the city and nobody's ever up there.” (10:02)
- Construction Sites (10:38–11:31)
- A joking suggestion: homes under construction, although this evolves into a gross-out tangent about construction workers leaving bodily waste behind walls, recounted in a memorable anecdote:
- “I told you guys about Shay's house ... contractor ... pooped in a bucket and left it behind the walls.” (11:03)
- A joking suggestion: homes under construction, although this evolves into a gross-out tangent about construction workers leaving bodily waste behind walls, recounted in a memorable anecdote:
3. Why Secret Spots Stay Secret (04:06; 06:34)
- The hosts muse on the reluctance of locals to reveal hidden romantic locales:
- “I'm wondering if people don't want to give up their secrets. Maybe that's their secret cool place to go make out. They don't want to tell everybody.” (04:06)
- There’s a nostalgia for the ‘make-out hill’ tradition that may be fading, but the show’s callers prove secluded nooks are still alive and well.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On the Fabled Make-Out Spot:
“Every hometown had one ... Dictionary Hill in San Diego, Spring Valley was the place that you wanted to go make out.” – Mark (03:52) - Jonathan’s Roswell River Overlook:
“There’s a place right there on the right hand side of the road overlooks the river. Real pretty. Take a bottle of wine, some cheese, whatever. Have a great time.” – Jonathan (06:33) - Playful Host Banter:
“Don't come a-knocking!” – Sean, after the river overlook is described (06:51)
“I want to sneak into your foliage!” – Co-host (09:30) - Romantic High School Memories:
“In my high school. At your high school with Debbie Pierce. She brought a cooler of watermelon shots out with us also. That was a cool night.” – Mark (07:52) - On Hiding Places Evolving:
“Homes being built make great make out places.” (10:38)
“Except all the construction cups.” – Co-host (10:43)
“Contractor ... pooped in a bucket and left it behind the walls.” – Co-host (11:03)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Listener Raul Calls In: 01:33–02:43
- Starlight Drive-In Mention: 03:00–03:12
- Mountain/Nature Spots Discussion: 03:46–04:06
- Listeners Suggest Secret Make-Out Locations: 04:34–09:59
- High Falls: 04:54
- Roswell River Overlook: 05:53–06:48
- CompUSA/Lennox Lot: 06:56–07:23
- Chastain Dugout: 07:26–07:50
- Murphy Candler Park: 08:27–09:22
- SCAD Parking Deck: 09:46–10:23
- Construction Site Antics: 10:38–11:20
Episode Tone
The Bert Show crew keeps things raucous, cheeky, and full of inside jokes, riffing off each other and playfully teasing their callers. The community-centric spirit is palpable—they genuinely enjoy crowd-sourcing answers and building rapport with their listeners.
A perfect listen for Atlanta locals, new arrivals, or anyone nostalgic for their hometown’s own make-out spot legend!
