Vault: He's single because he has no game

Summary

The Bert Show: “Vault: He's single because he has no game” (July 15, 2026)

Summary & Key Moments

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode centers around intern Brandon’s love life—or lack thereof. The team dives into why Brandon, a self-professed “good guy” with a lively, social personality, hasn't dated or connected romantically with anyone in over two years. The crew offers advice, playful teasing, and even plans an upcoming mentorship with a more confident friend to help Brandon overcome his fear of rejection and break out of the “friend zone.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Brandon’s Dating History—and Drought

• Brandon admits he’s only had one major relationship:
  • It lasted about three years, mostly during high school (00:54–01:17).
• No significant romantic experiences since:
  • Single for two years with “no dates at all” (01:20–01:27).
  • Brandon jokes, “I’m probably sent to double A,” as the cast humorously talks in baseball metaphors about his lack of dating life (01:32–01:39).

2. Social Dynamics & Authenticity

• Brandon describes his own social awkwardness:
  • “I’m not socially awkward but in certain situations I’ve become socially awkward…only part of the time though.” (01:51–02:01)
• Co-hosts note his high energy, fun personality at events:
  • He wonders if being expected to act “cool” for women feels unnatural.
• Brandon’s philosophy:
  • “I don’t feel that I should have to change who I am just to talk to somebody.” (02:33)

3. The Friend Zone Loop

• Frequent friend-zoning:
  • Brandon notes every girl he likes ends up being just a friend.
  • “Maybe it’s an idealistic way of thinking, but if I’m in the friend zone, maybe it will mean more in the end.” (03:39–04:13)
• The crew pushes back:
  • “Dude, it’s all crap. Everything you’re saying right now is total crap. It’s a fear of rejection.” (Co-host, 04:13–04:20)

4. Fear of Rejection

• Brandon admits, “I try to avoid being rejected. I try to avoid things that I feel that I’m not going to be good at.” (04:37–04:43)
• Advice from the hosts:
  • “You just gotta do it.” (Co-host, 04:43)
  • “We have all said we think you’re a good looking dude. You’ve got a great personality.” (Host Jeff, 04:44–04:50)
• Example from reality TV, “The Pickup Artist”:
  • Jeff describes a show where men deliberately get rejected repeatedly to desensitize themselves, but the co-hosts caution this isn’t the healthiest approach (05:24–06:34).
  • “The more you get rejected, the better you get. You handle it and you sort of just become yourself.” (Host Jeff, 05:51–06:02)
  • “I’m not sure that the pickup artist is really the greatest example…That teaches men to be womanizers.” (Co-host, 06:15–06:31)

5. Universal Experience of Rejection

• Co-hosts stress that everyone fears rejection:
  • “It never goes away.” (Co-host, 06:57)
  • “Well, I don’t feel rejection anymore because after 35 years of just really getting rejected all the time, you kind of become callous to it.” (Jen, 07:05–07:13)

6. Homework and Next Steps

• Hosts ask Brandon to name women he’d like to ask out:
  • He can think of “two or three” (07:21–07:34).
• Setting up mentorship from Jeff’s confident friend Dolvette:
  • “Maybe you need to just follow him around for a couple of hours…He’ll hang with you, and then he will sort of just let you go on your own.” (Host Jeff, 07:36–08:07)

7. Good Guy versus Bad Boy

• Discussion about what women want at age 21:
  • “Other 21 year olds aren’t looking for Mr. Right right now. They’re looking for a bad boy.” (Host Jeff, 08:49–09:08)
  • Co-host argues Brandon doesn’t need to become a bad boy to succeed; he just needs more confidence.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Host Jeff on Brandon’s dating drought:

  “You haven’t touched a breast in two years, so you got to change something, dude.” (02:49)

• Brandon shares a missed opportunity:

  “I was offered to touch a breast at an event by an older lady who wanted to take me home and teach me things.” (03:13)

• Co-host’s blunt summary:

  “Dude, it’s all crap. Everything you’re saying right now is total crap. It’s a fear of rejection.” (04:13)

• Brandon, self-aware:

  “I try to avoid things that I feel that I’m not going to be good at.” (04:37)

• Host Jeff, encouragement:

  “You just gotta let your inner swag come out.” (04:54)

• Co-host Jen on resilience:

  “After 35 years of just really getting rejected all the time, you kind of become callous to it.” (07:05)

• Host Jeff, reality check:

  “21. This is not the time to be. It’s not the time to be a nice guy. This is the time you play, man. This is the time to play right here.” (08:49)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:28 – Introduction to Brandon’s relationship history
• 01:24 – Brandon admits two years of total singlehood, co-hosts begin teasing
• 02:33 – Brandon explains his “just be myself” philosophy
• 03:39 – Brandon describes his “friend zone” pattern
• 04:13 – Co-hosts challenge Brandon on fear of rejection
• 05:24 – Pick-up artist TV example and discussion on lessons learned
• 06:57 – Co-hosts stress everyone fears rejection; Jen’s experience
• 07:21 – Hosts encourage Brandon to name women he’d like to ask out
• 07:36 – Plan for mentoring session with Dolvette is set up
• 08:49 – “Nice guy” versus “bad boy” debate for young men

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Overall Tone

Upbeat, playful, and occasionally blunt, the cast jokes with and encourages Brandon. While ribbing is frequent, the underlying message is both supportive and motivational.

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Conclusion

This episode humorously yet honestly dissects the struggles of a young, good-natured guy stuck in a dating rut. The cast blends tough love and practical advice, ultimately arranging a confidence-boosting intervention to help Brandon overcome his shyness and fear of rejection. The show ends on an optimistic note, with the promise of mentorship and Brandon considering new steps toward finding romantic success.

Transcript

[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Host Jeff]

Refreshers contain caffeine. The Birch show at this morning we are gonna spend a goodly amount of time talking to intern Brandon. Brandon told us a while back. I mean he was very honest with us. You know, most guys like, you know, we want to be all manly. Yeah, I got it with the ladies. I got my swag. Not Brandon. He says straight up he didn't know what he's doing when it comes to women. Just has had like one long term girlfriend, right?

[Co-host Jen]

Yeah, just about an Internet girlfriend or a real girlfriend.

[Intern Brandon]

Chat roulette.

[Co-host Jen]

Okay.

[Intern Brandon]

Every time we were matched up we talked for hours.

[Host Jeff]

Give us a little history here. So you had a girlfriend for like three years and.

[Intern Brandon]

Yeah, about three years. Mostly through junior through junior year of high school on through before that. It wasn't really like cared about being in a relationship.

[Co-host]

And what about since then? How long have you been out of that relationship?

[Intern Brandon]

About two years.

[Co-host]

Okay, so you've been single for two years. Nobody really significant?

[Intern Brandon]

No.

[Host Jeff]

Any dates at all in two years?

[Intern Brandon]

No.

[Host Jeff]

Oh boy, that's big old crap right there. You know what if this was baseball? You're sent down to the minor leagues?

[Intern Brandon]

Well, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I'm probably sent to double A.

[Host Jeff]

You know, you're going back to rookie ball if you haven't got a hit

[Intern Brandon]

in two years, work on the fundamentals.

[Co-host Jen]

You might even be equipment manager for a big high school squad.

[Intern Brandon]

Maybe.

[Host Jeff]

What was your question, Jen?

[Co-host]

I'm sorry, I was going to say why is that? Are you afraid to ask a girl out?

[Intern Brandon]

I don't know, it's just I'm not socially awkward but in certain situations I've become socially awkward.

[Host Jeff]

Which makes you socially awkward?

[Intern Brandon]

Socially awkward. Only part part of the time though.

[Co-host]

Well do you think? I mean, and I don't mean to interrupt, but I mean I've seen Brandon out in, you know, at events and stuff. And Brandon's personality is very jovial, very high energy, very joking, very, you know, very personable. But I wondered, is it a case with guys where you have to kind of tone it down and be cool and that's unnatural for you? You know what I'm saying? Like. And yeah, because I mean most Guys who are trying to approach women with the confidence and with the swagger and all this stuff. I mean, Brandon to me is just, like, a fun guy.

[Intern Brandon]

Yeah, well, I like to be chill all the time, so I don't feel that I should have to change who I am just to talk to somebody, because it's how I interact with my friends. It's how I interact with my family and my co workers. So I think.

[Co-host]

So why can't you interact with women that way?

[Host Jeff]

And I think it's admirable that you're holding onto this. Look, I'm a be me. Yeah. You haven't touched a breast in two years, so you got to change something, dude.

[Co-host Jen]

I mean, well, technically, you don't know if he touched a breast before that.

[Host Jeff]

Like, breasts before that.

[Co-host]

No.

No.

One way to say now he's being vulnerable, and he's come to the table. Y' all need to back off.

[Host Jeff]

I'm being honest. Like, he's saying, I'm gonna be me, but me's not working right now, so something's gotta change.

[Intern Brandon]

I will say I was offered to touch a breast at an event by an older lady who wanted to take me home and teach and teach me things.

[Co-host]

Why didn't you take home the cough?

[Co-host Jen]

Because she works in sales. It would have been awkward.

[Intern Brandon]

Leave the account manager out of this.

[Host Jeff]

So he's. From what I understand, you've been, like, sort of seeing a girl right now, but you're stuck in the friend zone. Like it's somebody you'd want to hang out with more.

[Intern Brandon]

Not so much. It was. We've been talking a little bit. It was this girl I knew in high school. Didn't really talk to her in high school. And then she messaged me on Facebook. We'd just been talking a little bit. So it's nothing too serious at this point, just casual conversation. But, I mean, it's a history, ongoing history of every girl I've kind of been in the friend zone with. So to that point, like, now I'm used to it. Now I'm kind of. Maybe it's an idealistic way of thinking, but if I'm in the friend zone, maybe it will mean more in the end.

[Co-host]

Dude, it's all crap. Everything you're saying right now is total crap. It's a fear of rejection. You're afraid of somebody turning you down.

[Intern Brandon]

Yeah, basically that too. I think I'm done.

[Co-host Jen]

He took a breath like he was gonna defend himself, and then qu.

[Co-host]

How I am with my friends and my. It's all crap.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All right.

[Co-host]

Ke$blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah.

[Intern Brandon]

I try to avoid.

[Co-host]

Cut to the chase.

[Intern Brandon]

I try to avoid being rejected. Yeah. I try to avoid things that I feel that I'm not going to be good at. So we all do.

[Co-host]

You just got to do it.

[Host Jeff]

That's why I didn't go to school. It's like you can't see it in you. But we, we have all said we think you're a good looking dude. You've got a great personality.

[Co-host Jen]

I've never said that.

[Host Jeff]

When you're out at events.

[Intern Brandon]

I heard you one time, Jeff. It's okay.

[Host Jeff]

When you're out at events, you're like this guy with sort of a bigger than life personality sometimes and you're posting stuff. But this dude is kind of just a nervous fear of rejection guy. But you've got it in there. You just gotta let your inner swag come out.

[Co-host]

Well, I think you just gotta get through it a couple of times and then you realize it's not so bad. Even if the girl says, no, I'd rather not go out with you. I'd rather be friends. Then you've at least asked the question. You realize you lived, you can breathe afterwards. You didn't die. Okay, I can get through that. And then you move on to the next one.

[Host Jeff]

You know, there was this really stupid reality TV show on VH1 that I started watching, the Pickup Artist. And one of it was a bunch of dudes like you that would go to this one guy that claimed he was the best pickup artist in the world. Like there was actually like a ranking for this kind of thing. And he was number one, right? So he would teach all these guys when they go into clubs how to interact with women to get them comfortable with him. Right? And the first thing he did was he'd walk in there with them and he would just immediately allow them to get rejected by 10 women on the first night. Because the more you get rejected, the better you get your. You handle it and you sort of just become yourself. But then again, used to it at

[Intern Brandon]

that point, isn't it, doesn't it become mental that you doing something wrong? So then you try to change up little things and it's still wrong excuses right now. I'm just trying to analyze it. I'm trying to analyze the situation.

[Co-host]

I'm not even hearing the words coming out of your mouth because it's all more excuses. It's like, well, if I get rejected, then I'm going to change my mind about the way that I think about getting rejected, no, you just got to do it. And I'm not sure that the pickup artist is really the greatest example of how he should do it, because I think that teaches men to like to be womanizers.

[Host Jeff]

Well, like I said, it's a cheesy show.

[Co-host]

Never going to be a womanizer, which

[Host Jeff]

is a good thing.

[Co-host]

My mom would beat me. But the point guy, he wants to just go out on a date with a girl and maybe touch a boob.

[Host Jeff]

Yeah. The point of that show is not, like, 20. The point of the show is inconsequential because Jen's right. It teaches you the wrong things. But the. The base of it is you're so scared to get rejected that you won't go up to anybody. Where this show is saying, you got to break through that and start getting rejected to realize you won't die.

[Co-host]

Well, and I think the difference is that everybody fears rejection. You know, it's just somehow like they keep saying, pushing through it and as if it goes away. It never goes away.

[Co-host Jen]

Well, I don't feel rejection anymore because after 35 years of just really getting rejected all the time, you kind of become callous to it.

[Co-host]

Do you want to be Jeff? Because I'm just curious if you have in your mind, like, two or three women that you would like to ask out on a date right now.

[Intern Brandon]

I'd have to think about it, but I can come up with two or three.

[Co-host]

You could come with two or three that you'd like to take to dinner, hang out with them, maybe have some good conversation, and, you know, go grab a drink afterwards and then go home.

[Intern Brandon]

Yeah, I could probably.

[Co-host]

You can come up with three of them.

[Intern Brandon]

I probably.

[Co-host]

I think we got some homework.

[Host Jeff]

Well, we're going to get you some help today, because remember weeks ago when we talked to you about this on the air, I said that, you know, what you really need is, like, you need just one night out with my friend Dolvette, who just is so, like, he walks into a room and he's so confident with women that they're instantly sort of drawn to him. And we said, you know what? Maybe you need just to follow him around for a couple of hours, he'll hang with you, and then he will sort of just let you go on your own. That's going to happen today. We're going to bring him in the studio this morning.

[Intern Brandon]

Okay.

[Host Jeff]

And then sometime this weekend, you guys will go out for a couple of hours.

[Intern Brandon]

Okay.

[Host Jeff]

And then you will have a mentor. Okay.

[Intern Brandon]

Okay.

[Co-host]

I think that. I think he can teach you some really great confidence. I think that the guy. The women that Brandon's gonna eventually ask out are gonna be somebody he's already friends with.

[Host Jeff]

Could be. You just gotta have that confidence. And if you learn that tonight or over the next 24 hours, you got half the game licked.

[McDonald's Announcer]

Right?

[Co-host]

Yeah. You can approach women you already know with that confidence.

But I think the one thing is this is a case in which Brandon's a good guy. He's a good guy with a great personality that women are not flocking to because they want something else. And so this is the transition. Women, you want the good guy, but when he's standing right here, you want him to be cool and elusive. But he's got to teach him how to do that.

He's got to talk to you and actually ask him.

He's talking to him. It's just, you know.

[Host Jeff]

How old are they?

[Co-host]

Friends?

[Intern Brandon]

21.

[Host Jeff]

Yeah, 21. This is not the time to be. It's not the time to be a nice guy. This is the time you play, man. This is the time to play right here. We were just having the same talk the other day. Other 21 year olds aren't looking for Mr. Right right now. They're looking for a bad boy. And you grow up.

[Co-host]

Some guys are just good in general. You can't make him a bad boy. Brandon's a good guy if anybody can do it.

[Intern Brandon]

The Birch Show.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six. All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Host Jeff]

Refreshers contain caffeine.