Vault: His 3yr-old son stays in bed with his mom

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show – "Vault: His 3yr-old son stays in bed with his mom"

Episode Date: July 13, 2026
Cast: Bert (The Birch), Co-hosts

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Bert shares a relatable parenting dilemma: getting his 3-year-old son, Hollis, to stay in bed until a reasonable hour. The family discovers a simple, accidental solution while away for Easter weekend. The discussion centers on whether this trick will work when Hollis transitions back to sleeping in his own room, offering humor and solidarity for parents in similar stages.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Challenge: Early Wake-Ups

• [00:58] Bert recounts his family's struggle with Hollis waking up at 5:30am, seeking advice from listeners:

  "I asked the question... how do we get our three year old Hollis to stay in bed until like 7 or 7:30? Because he's getting up at 5:30..."
  — Bert, 00:58

2. Accidental Solution During Family Trip

• The family heads to Isle of Palm, South Carolina for Easter. With Bert arriving later, Hollis sleeps in bed with his mom (Stacy).
• Stacy institutes a simple rule: Hollis can only get out of bed when the alarm music goes off.

  "Mom tells him, look, for now on you're not allowed to get up until you hear the music."
  — Bert, 01:43

3. Early Results: Rule-Following

• For several nights, Hollis wakes up early but stays put:

  "He's been waking up at like six but doesn't get out of bed and stays still until like 7 or 7:30 when the alarm goes off."
  — Bert, 02:10

• The co-hosts and Bert react with optimism to Hollis' compliance:

  "So he followed the rules."
  — Co-host, 02:23

4. The Real Test: Transitioning Back to His Own Room

• The hosts discuss whether Hollis' compliance is due to his mom's presence:

  "He's been good about staying in bed. Cuz mom's there. That might be the key right there. When he's alone. We'll see how it works."
  — Bert, 03:00

• Bert shares plans to try the strategy in Hollis’ own room, promising an update:

  "If it works, we'll let you know tomorrow morning."
  — Bert, 03:04

5. Lighthearted Moments and Parental Humor

• Co-hosts joke about Bert not being able to sleep with Hollis due to his knee surgery:

  "You can't have a two year old rolling over on that knee."
  — Co-host, 02:41

---

Memorable Quotes

• "For now on you're not allowed to get up until you hear the music."
  — Bert quoting Stacy’s instruction, 01:43
• "He followed the rules."
  — Co-host, 02:23
• "He's been good about staying in bed. Cuz mom's there. That might be the key right there."
  — Bert, 03:00
• "If it works, we'll let you know tomorrow morning."
  — Bert, 03:04

---

Noteworthy Timestamps

• 00:58 – Bert introduces the parenting dilemma of early waking
• 01:43 – The new rule: Staying in bed until the alarm music plays
• 02:10 – Hollis' positive response over several nights
• 02:34 – Co-hosts highlight Bert’s absence from co-sleeping due to his knee
• 03:00 – Discussion about whether mom’s presence is the secret
• 03:04 – Promise of an update on whether the strategy works when Hollis is alone

---

Tone & Takeaways

The segment maintains a lighthearted, supportive tone typical of The Bert Show—combining genuine parenting insights with camaraderie and gentle ribbing among the hosts. The solution (tying wake-up permission to the sound of an alarm) is presented not as an expert tip but as a relatable, real-life experiment, inviting listeners to share in both the struggle and laughter of parenting toddlers.

Practical Tip: If you’re struggling with a toddler who wakes too early, try tying their permission to leave bed to a fun musical alarm—especially if you’re able to be present and consistent with the rule.

---

End of Content-Section Summary
(Note: Advertisements and sponsor messages have been excluded as requested.)

Transcript

[McDonald's Announcer]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[The Birch]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[The Birch]

Refreshers contain caffeine. The Birch show and I told you guys, going into the weekend, I asked the question like if anybody has a three year old, how do we get our three year old Hollis to stay in bed until like 7 or 7:30? Because he's getting up at 5:30 and you guys emailed me a whole bunch of different ideas that I was ready to run by Stacy. Right? Well, we actually stumbled on an answer accidentally this weekend. And if you have a three year old or a two and a half year old that you're trying to train, maybe this is going to work for you guys. So my family left for Isle of Palm, South Carolina on Wednesday and then I came and I flew in on Friday for Easter weekend to be with them. But Stacy put Hollis in bed with her just for the weekend, right? And she set the alarm for 7 o'.

[Mood Sponsor]

Clock.

[The Birch]

So Hollis gets up at 5:30 and mom tells him look, for now on you're not allowed to get up until you hear the music. So he goes back to sleep and then when the alarm went off at 7 or 7:30, I mean he was awake, but he didn't get out of bed until he heard the music. So she did that on Wednesday night, Thursday night and on Friday night and on Saturday night also. So he hasn't been in the room himself yet to execute it. But all weekend long she has been in bed with him and he's been waking up at like 6 but doesn't get out of bed and stay still until like 7 or 7:30 the alarm goes off and he's out of the room.

[Bluff]

Nice.

[Co-host]

So he followed the rules.

[The Birch]

So he's followed the rules so far and when they come home today. Tonight will be the first time we try it with him on his own in his own room. But so far so good.

[Co-host]

That's great. And you're not sleeping in the bed with him though, right? Because of your knee?

[The Birch]

I have not been sleeping in the bed with him. Right. So this is just mom and he's

[Co-host]

like, you can't have a two year old rolling over on that knee.

[The Birch]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Co-host]

That was freaking me out.

[The Birch]

No, but it might work for you guys also. So we'll see if it really worked tonight. If he sleeps through the night and gets up when the alarm he obviously

[Co-host]

if he needed a cue, you know, like if it's the music of the alarm, then he knows, okay, that's my cue, I get up.

[The Birch]

And he's been good about staying in bed. Cuz mom's there. That might be the key right there. When he's alone. We'll see how it works. But if it works, we'll let you know tomorrow morning.

[Mood Sponsor]

Hey, the Birch show this episode sponsored by Mood. Okay, this is actually genius. Are you ever overwhelmed with choices at the dispensary? What if I told you that you could shop cannabis by the exact mood you want tonight? With Mood, you don't shop by strain names or confusion. You shop by how you want to feel. Want to relax after work, sleep better, feel more creative or be more social? Mood makes it simple. Pick the Feeling and Mood recommends products to match. Mood has gummies, flour, pre rolls and edibles designed around your Mood. I tried Mood's sleepy gummies and within an hour I felt calm, settled and ready for bed. No dispensary run, no second guessing, just a smooth relaxing experience delivered to my door. It's federally legal, third party tested and backed by a 100 day satisfaction guarantee. Go to Mood m o o d dot com. That's mood.com however you want to feel tonight. Mood helps you get there.

[Bluff]

What's going on everyone? It's Bluff here and we're driving through the states in the Bluffmobile. And the best thing that we can do is play our favorite casino style games on Spot Spin Quest. They have over a thousand games including live dealer blackjack and craps. With tons of slots and unlimited options. You can get a 30 coin pack for just $10. For new users sign up today. Go to spinquest.com right now Spinquest is

[The Birch]

a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[The Birch]

Refreshers contain caffeine.